Shattered into a Thousand Pieces
by Saritadreaming
Summary: An act of violence leaves Bella shattered. What will this mean for Edward and Bella's relationship? Will the burning need for revenge heal-or destroy? *Vampire/Human/Wolfpack/Tanya**On Temp Hiatus*
1. Chapter 1 Shattered

**A/N: Warning: The first chapter of this story is dark. I have removed the graphic parts due to fanfic's TOS. If the subject matter of rape might be a trigger for you, please don't read this.  
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**If you are still with me...I'm not going to say anything further about this story because I feel it will ruin the impact.**

****This story deals with controversial subject matter, but the story will eventually head in a more positive direction, so please don't judge the entire story by the feel of the first few chapters.**

**Thanks to my beta Ashley (Ms. Skittles) for her encouragement and awesome beta skills. I discussed this story idea with her before I wrote it because I was unsure about writing it at all. As usual, she cheered me on and here it is.**

**Chapter One**

**~Shattered~**

**~*Bella's POV*~**

Alice and I returned to the cottage after an afternoon of shopping—the cottage that Edward and I would be sharing when we returned from our honeymoon a few weeks from now.

Despite my hatred of shopping, the day had been enjoyable, and I came home with some weapons that would, hopefully, thaw out my husband-to-be. Alice had dragged me from store to store, choosing lingerie, soft flowing skirts, dresses, blouses—all things that were so un-Bella-like. She assured me that Edward's eyes would roll back in ecstasy. I would believe _that_ when I saw it, but I was willing to go along for the ride if there was even a possibility that Edward would ease up on his rules.

Leaving on a sea-foam green, flowing dress as a preview of things to come, I waited for my love while hanging up or folding away my new treasures. My fingers tingled as I touched the different textures—silky, gauzy, fluid, lacy...

"Oh, thank you, Alice!" I squealed, knowing she could hear me clear across the cottage.

Alice glided into the room silently with a smile. "Anything for my new sister. Enjoy them, and _use _them well."

"Oh, don't worry; I will."

The front door of the cottage creaked, causing us both to freeze.

"Damn! I have to get that door fixed before you guys come back from your honeymoon. Well, it seems Edward is back a little early. More time for..." Alice raised her eyebrows and pointed at my new dress.

Edward stepped into the room, looking as handsome as always in black pinstripe pants and a black vest over a crisp white shirt—he must have shed his jacket on the way in. His bronze hair was in its usual disarray, and I had the urge to run my hands through it.

"I'll leave you two alone...see you later!" Alice left through the French doors that led out to the garden with a conspiratorial grin.

"The benefit must have ended early?" I asked, turning towards Edward.

He nodded, looking me up and down appreciatively. Coming closer, he fingered the fabric of my dress.

"Alice," I offered in explanation. "We bought out the stores today. Lots of new clothes for our honeymoon."

I turned toward the dresser to put some things away. Edward came up behind me and moved my hair to the side, placing gentle kisses on my neck. I shivered involuntarily as he ran his hands down my back, sending chills up my spine. He hugged me to him gently, and I turned in his embrace so we were facing each other. Looking up into his eyes, I saw desire there, and it took my breath away. His lips met mine in little nipping, playful kisses. My heart pounded in answer.

Spying the pile of lingerie I was in the middle of putting away, his eyes grew wide. Walking us over to the bed, he hooked a red silky one with his index finger, and stepping away from me, dropped it in my hands.

"What? You want me to model it for you?" I asked playfully. Edward nodded, and I almost choked. What had gotten into him? "For real?" I questioned with surprise, and he nodded again and, with a wink, left the room.

What was I supposed to do now? Did he really want me to put on the teddy? I would feel like such a fool if I put it on and he was only kidding—then again, he looked pretty darn serious to me. Shrugging, I went into the bathroom to change.

I was a little surprised he chose the red one since he loved me so much in blue. The teddy was silky with lots of lace, falling just to the tops of my thighs. It came with a matching pair of panties—if you could call them that—I would call them a scrap of material. Twirling in front of the full length mirror on the back of the bathroom door, I had to admit, I looked pretty good. Maybe Edward was about to get more than he bargained for—maybe his control would slip some and we could finally share some intimate moments. My heart sped up at the thought, and my face turned pink.

Slipping back into the bedroom, I gasped as I realized that Edward was lounging on the bed waiting for me. His eyes widened as he took me in, eyebrows raised, his signature crooked grin spreading across his face. With much faster than human speed, he was up off the bed, stalking toward me slowly. I stopped breathing, my heart stuttering in my chest as he drew closer.

Stopping just before me, Edward reached out his hand and caressed my face, his other hand ghosting over my shoulder and down my back, pulling me in closer. A low growl rumbled in his chest, and his eyes smoldered.

"What's gotten into you, Edward?"

"Shh..." he put a finger up to my lips, pulling me tighter against his marble body. My breath caught, and even if I wanted to, I was incapable of speech.

His fingers ghosted down my neck and over the swell of my breast, my nipples immediately hardening under his cool touch. Running my hands up his lean, muscled arms, I just enjoyed what was being given, knowing that at any moment he might come to his senses and pull away.

With a louder growl, Edward crashed his lips to mine almost desperately. Sensations burst through me like sunlight through the clouds...like water to the thirsty. He was always so cautious with me that I was unsure what to do. My body knew though, and my lips mashed back against his, my breathing ragged and my heart racing as my arms wound up around his neck. Our lips continued moving together in their desperate dance, and soon I felt his tongue seeking entrance. Opening my mouth to him, I took his tongue in greedily. Edward grabbed me by the hips and ground his pelvis into mine—he was hard as a rock—and groaned. My panties were wet, and I rubbed my legs together to relieve some of the pressure building there.

Edward lifted the edge of the teddy, running his hands over my backside. Hooking his fingers into the sides of my panties, he pulled them down slowly as he knelt down before me, stroking the outsides of my thighs.

"Wh-what are you doing?" I stuttered, breathing heavily.

"Shh..." Edward whispered as he came back up my body, his hands sliding underneath the teddy and grasping my breasts.

"Oh!" I gasped.

His lips claimed mine again, stopping any further attempts I might have made at conversation. Our tongues tangled together languidly. Pulling away from my lips, he licked his way down my neck, swirling his tongue around, breathing heavily. I was so weak with desire that I found myself unable to stand on my own any longer. It was a good thing he was holding onto me, and I gripped his shoulders tightly, moaning as he licked at my neck.

Walking us back towards the bed, until my knees hit the side, we tumbled back with Edward on top of me. Rolling to the side, he quickly removed his vest and shirt. My hands strayed to his sculpted chest of their own accord. As I explored his naked torso, he brought his lips back to mine, kissing me aggressively. I heard the sound of a zipper and felt his hardness press against my thigh.

"E-Edward..." I said uncertainly.

Ignoring me, he rolled me on my back, trapping me beneath his body. Bringing his lips down on mine, he ground his hardness against me with a groan.

This just didn't feel right to me. We hadn't discussed it at all, and this was much farther than we had ever gone. Edward hadn't said two words to me since he'd come home, and it was unlike him to ignore me—he was very unselfish when it came to my needs. This wasn't my Edward—what had gotten into him?

Somehow during all this, he had managed to shed his pants, because I could feel his bare legs shoving mine apart.

"Mmmmm..." Pulling himself up slightly, he looked down at me, licking his lips, and he looked _hungry_. Reaching down, he ran his hands from my breasts all the way down my body and spread my thighs further, easing his body between them. He kissed me again, and I could feel his hardness lining up with my hot center.

"Edward...what are we doing?" I mumbled against his lips.

Ignoring me again, he began to slide himself into me, kissing me harder. I tried to break away, but being underneath him, it was impossible. I beat against him with my hands, trying to let him know I wanted him to stop.

Finally, he stilled; lifting his head and looking down upon me in irritation.

_Irritation?_

"Edward! You haven't said two words to me since you got home. You bust in here, want me to try on this teddy, and then proceed to break all of _your_ rules about intimacy. What's going on here? Who are you, and what have you done with _my _Edward?"

A loud sigh issued from Edward, and then...his face...changed. His face _morphed_ into someone else's. The face above me—of the man poised to enter into my body—was russet skinned with eyes as black as olives. His hair was jet black and spiky, and there was a small scar beneath his right eye—although this did not detract from the handsomeness of his face— but added an element of toughness.

"Who a-are y-you?" I whispered, unable to get my voice to work properly.

He grabbed my hands quickly and raised them above my head, trapping them in one of his own. He placed his other one across my mouth to ensure that I didn't cry out.

"You couldn't just shut up and enjoy it could you? Why do you women always have to make things so difficult?" he growled. "I'm going to have you now; it will go much easier for you if you don't give me a hard time."

I could feel his hardness pressing into me, perfectly lined up to enter. NO! This couldn't be happening! Who the hell was he, and how did he manage to look like Edward? Is this why he never said anything? He could _look_ like Edward but was unable to mimic his voice?

Shaking my head back and forth as hard as I could, I pleaded with my eyes for him to stop. I made mewling sounds behind his hand, hoping he would allow me to speak.

"Listen, bitch, I don't have the time or patience for this! I'm the one with the power here, in case you haven't noticed," he rasped in a threatening tone but let up slightly on the hand over my mouth.

"P-please...who are you? What do you want?" Tears coursed down my cheeks as I realized my predicament. He was going to rape me, but would he let me live afterward?

"I think it's pretty _obvious_ what I want," he leered in my face. "What does it matter who I am? You aren't planning to call me for a second date are you?"

"H-how did you l-look like Edward?"

"I'm a shape-shifter...I can be whoever you want me to be, sweetcheeks." He laughed lewdly, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Please...let me go," I whispered.

"No can do, sweetcheeks. I was promised some hot young ass, and I'm going to have it."

"Promised by who?"

"If I tell you, then I have to kill you. Still want to know, Bella?" He winked down at me and then licked my neck.

"Please don't kill me."

"Then don't piss me off! Just shut up and enjoy the ride—no more talking!"

Shoving his hand back over my mouth and tightening his grip on my trapped hands, he used his legs to push my thighs further apart. I started struggling for all I was worth, but his large, hot body was too heavy and strong. Flailing my legs was ineffectua.

And then the unthinkable happened...

What I never expected for myself...

My worst nightmare...

He rammed into me hard and fast with a growl.

"Mm...so tight...yes, baby," he ground out.

The sensation nearly blinded me, a white hot pinpoint of pain blooming out from my center.

He then set a fast, hard, punishing pace, grunting each time he hit bottom—licking my neck and whispering things in my ear with his hot, moist breath.

"Yeah, baby, so good..."

"So worth the wait..."

"She promised you would be hot..."

Suddenly he slowed down, and I thought it was over, relief washing over my eyes. He saw this, and shaking his head, he laughed..._he laughed_. "Oh, no, baby. Just slowing down the pace so it doesn't end too soon. I want to give it to you like you've never had it before, sweetcheeks."

NO! No more! I shook my head and tried to get him to let me speak again. I tried to bite his hand, but I couldn't quite reach. I made mewling noises and pleaded with my eyes. He simply shook his head.

"No more talking, I said. I heard all about you, Bel-la."

_Edward_. God, what would Edward...I shut off the thought. I couldn't think about him right now or how he would feel about me after this. I just had to survive this somehow.

More determined than ever, I flung my head back and forth, hoping to take a bite out of his hand or scream. I tried to buck him off my body—and almost succeeded due to the element of surprise—but he quickly righted himself and pressed his hand that much harder over my face, gripping my hands tighter over my head.

"Bitch! Try something like that again, and I can't promise you'll walk away from this in one piece."

My struggle was obviously a turn on for him. It felt as though I was suffocating—his big bulk weighed heavily on my slight frame, his meaty hand over my mouth and his hot, ragged breathing in my ear. Pinned down, I was completely helpless.

Unable to take the punishment any further, and giving up on any chance of throwing him off, I retreated somewhere distant. I could still hear him, but it was as though a piece of me had broken off and was watching it happen to someone else. Floating just above him, I saw my own eyes looking glassy and dead, my body gone limp as he rammed into it. Every so often he would slow his pace so he would be able to go at me again and again, prolonging his good time.

"Ooh, baby, I'm going to...uh..God, yes!"

With a few final, violent thrusts, he collapsed on top of my body. He let go of my hands, knowing they would be ineffective against him. My hands were numb from lack of circulation. I still had the sensation of being somewhere else, watching from afar, and I felt nothing.

Pulling out of me, he sniffed the air and looked down in horror.

"What the—why is there blood? Were you a virgin?"

I heard him as if through a tunnel and watched as my body lay beneath him, staring endlessly.

"Bitch! I'm talking to you! Were you a virgin?"

Slapping my face helped bring me back into my body. I slammed back inside, and all the pain throbbed anew. I nodded my head, not wanting him to slap me again.

"That fucking bitch! Tanya said you were a whore! That you were into fire and ice—sleeping around with the Quileute boys and fucking the vampire, too! Shit!"

Tears streamed down my face. I didn't understand what he was talking about, and I didn't really care at this point—I just wanted him _off _me—just wanted him to leave so I could take a bath. Would I ever feel clean again? What would Edw—no, I would not think about that.

"I never would have agreed to deflower an innocent. I'm going to tear her apart when I get my hands on her!" he growled. Looking down at me, his hard face softened, and he looked almost...tender. "I'm sorry. I know some might ask what the difference is—but it makes a huge difference to me. I did this because I love her, because she told me it would mean the world to her, that you had done horrible things to my kind. She said you were a slut, that you opened your legs for anyone. If I had any idea of the truth...I never would have touched you."

Shaking his head in disgust, he moved his body off mine. He sat next to me on the bed, wiping himself off, and then put his clothes back on. I just lay quietly on the bed, trying to pretend that the burning, aching pain didn't mean that I was now used goods, that I would never again be pure, that the choice to share my body was no longer mine to make.

Suddenly, his head snapped up, and he looked out the French doors. They burst open, and there stood Alice, hissing.

"Who the hell _are _you?" Alice demanded.

He looked at Alice with barely concealed amusement. "What are you going to do, little one?"

"Kick your shape-shifting ass, that's what!"

Then it was a blur as Alice moved into action, slicing the air with her claws and gnashing her teeth as she jumped on the huge mammoth shape-shifter. He cried out in pain and then started to tremble mightily. Suddenly, he seemed to disappear...

Alice looked around as the air before her emptied. Whipping her head around, she spied a hawk on the floor, which promptly took off flying out the French doors and disappeared into the sky, rising fast. It screeched as though in pain as it disappeared into the horizon.

Hissing, Alice turned and saw me on the bed. Her eyes widened as she took in my condition and the blood on the sheets. "Oh, Bella! I'm so sorry. I got here as fast as I could when Edward called...I had no idea! I can't see the future around shape-shifters, and I didn't even try to look at your future because I thought you and Edward..."

Rushing over to the bed, she grabbed me in her arms and rocked me like a baby. The dam broke then—tears streaming down my face, broken sobs echoing through the bedroom.

"A-Alice, he hurt me. I feel so dirty. Please can you get me into the bath? Please?"

"Yes, of course. Honey, I'm so sorry I was too late. I came as soon as I realized."

"Wait—you said Edward called?"

"Yes, he called the house and said the benefit ran a bit longer than expected, and that's when I realized something was very wrong."

"Does...does Edward know something is wrong?" I asked with trepidation.

"He's on his way; he's very worried about you. He'll be here any time now."

"NO! I don't want him to s-see me like this! Please, Alice!"

"I'll try to put him off, Bella, but you know how Edward is. He loves you, sweetie. He won't blame you—you know that right?"

"Please...I need a bath! I just need to get him off me!" I raked my nails over my skin, causing raised red welts.

Alice carried me to the bathroom. She drew a steaming hot bath and placed me in gently.

"What can I do for you, Bella?" Alice asked softly.

"Nothing. Please, I just need to be alone."

"I'll be right in the living room if you need me. I'll try to head off Edward...but you know how worried he is..." Alice tried to prepare me.

Nothing could prepare me for facing my beautiful angel with this. How was I to tell him that I was no longer pure for him? That some shape-shifter with the wrong idea had defiled me, taken away what I could never get back—that I felt as though I had been shattered into a thousand pieces, and that those pieces had been hurriedly picked up and jammed back together in no particular order.

Looking down at my body, I became disgusted by it. I turned the tap back on, letting the hottest water in as my skin turned bright pink. I scrubbed and scrubbed, but I could still see the stain of his touch all over me. Oh, how would I ever be able to look at myself again? And if I couldn't...how would _Edward_ be able to? Closing my eyes tightly against the thought of Edward, the tears slid down my face.

"Edward, no! Listen to me! She's safe now!" Alice's voice came loudly, urgently.

"Where is she? What are you hiding from me, Alice?" Edward's beautiful velvet voice was enraged.

"She's taking a bath, Edward. Do you intend to just barge in there? When she comes out, you can talk," Alice reasoned.

A deep sigh came from Edward. "Okay, Alice, I'll wait for her to come out. In the meantime, you _will_ tell me what in the hell this is all about!"

"No, Edward, that's not my place. When Bella comes out of the bath, the two of you need to talk—alone."

"Alice, you're scaring me." Edward's voice was almost a whisper now, anger replaced by fear.

I sank deeper into the water. How would I ever be able to leave this bath and face my love, tell him the ugly truth?

**~*Edward's POV*~**

The hospital benefit for Carlisle ran much longer than we'd anticipated. Alice had taken Bella shopping, and they'd been expecting me, so I decided to call the house and let them know I was held up.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Alice."

"Edward! I wasn't expecting to hear from you so soon. I thought for sure you and Bella would be...otherwise engaged by now." Alice snickered.

"What are you talking about, Alice? Isn't Bella there with you?" Confusion filled my voice. Was this a joke?

"Come on, Edward! I was there when you got back to the cottage. I saw the look in your eye when you saw Bella in the green dress."

"Alice! Carlisle is standing right next to me, and I _haven't_ been back to the cottage. Are you playing a joke on me? What is this?" The irritation was evident in my voice.

There was a slight pause and then..."Oh. My. God. Edward, something's wrong! I can't see Bella's future...that could only mean that the person we thought was you is a _shape-shifter!_ I'm going to the cottage right now!"

"Shit! I'm on my way, Alice!"

Without giving Carlisle a full explanation, I was out the door, running full speed back to Forks.

I'd heard that the Quileutes could technically shape-shift into any other being, but as far as I knew, none of the pack was experienced enough to pull it off. What possible reason could one of them have to pretend to be me? The only thought that came to mind was Jacob Black. I wouldn't put it past him to use my form to try to get close to Bella. An involuntary growl rose up from my chest, and I ran that much faster.

When I got to the cottage, I found Alice at the front door waiting for me. Her face was solemn, and she was blocking me from her thoughts. Not good. I could hear Bella's heartbeat somewhere in the cottage. I moved to go past Alice, but she blocked me with a vehement shake of her head.

"Get out of my way," I whispered dangerously, trying to dodge her.

"Edward, no! Listen to me! She's safe now!" Alice pleaded.

"Where is she? What are you hiding from me, Alice?" The anger was apparent in my voice. How dare she hide something about Bella from me?

"She's taking a bath, Edward. Do you intend to just barge in there? When she comes out, you can talk," Alice reasoned.

I heaved a deep sigh. "Okay, Alice, I'll wait for her to come out. In the meantime, you _will_ tell me what in the hell this is all about!"

"No, Edward, that's not my place. When Bella comes out of the bath, the two of you need to talk—alone."

_Please Edward, she's going to need you to be strong. _Alice's eyes were large and serious.

"Alice, you're scaring me," I gripped her hand in mine, and she squeezed back.

"I know," she whispered, "but there's nothing else I can tell you right now. Bella is safe now, and she's going to need you more than she ever has. _Don't_ let her down."

Alice slipped out the front door.

What on earth had happened here? I trusted Alice, so I sat down on the couch and waited for Bella to be ready for me.

Vampires pass time much differently than humans. Minutes are like seconds, hours like minutes, years like months...but I swear that time stopped while I sat on that couch waiting for Bella—waiting to find out why Alice was so serious—why she claimed Bella was going to need me more than she ever had. It felt as though there was something stuck in my throat. I could endure anything; I was indestructible, immortal—but I couldn't bear anything hurting my Bella. If she was in pain...I was in pain. Many scenarios flitted through my mind while I sat there, but none prepared me for the truth. _Nothing_ could have prepared me for the vile, disgusting act that had been committed under our very noses this day.

Eventually, I heard the bathroom door crack open, and Bella emerged slowly. I could hear her feet padding on the floor and noticed the hesitation in her tread. Taking Alice's advice—as hard as it was—I allowed her to come to me. She peeked around the doorway into the living room, and seeing me on the couch, flinched. Her skin was red all over—at least everywhere I could see—she was wrapped up in a long, white terry cloth robe. Her face was tear-stained, her beautiful brown eyes swollen.

"_Bella_..." I whispered, standing up but staying in place.

Bella sniffled and looked around the room like a caged animal hoping for an escape.

"Whatever it is...I'm here for you. Don't be afraid," I said soothingly.

Her eyes shot to mine and filled with tears, and she shook her head. "I don't think so, Edward. Not when you hear..."

Then the sobbing started—a low keening wail that grew louder until it was a primal scream, shaking her tiny frame as she fell to her knees. Unable to control myself any longer, I moved to her side and knelt next to her, putting my arms around her. I rocked her back and forth for a while, cooing to her. Eventually, I pulled her to my chest and kissed her hair and face. She went stiff in my arms and drew in a panicked breath, her heart rate elevating.

"Get off me! Don't touch me!" She struck out at me with her fists.

"Bella! It's me, Edward! It's okay, Love."

"NO! Don't touch me. Please get your hands off me," Bella begged.

I let her go, sitting back on my heels and staring at her in shock as she curled into a ball, turning away from me.

"Bella? Please talk to me. I-I don't know how to help you..." I sputtered.

"You. Can't. Help. Me."

"What? Love, whatever it is, we can get through it together. I'm here for you." Reaching out, I touched her arm, and she flinched away from me.

"Nobody can help me. I've been shattered into a thousand pieces and scattered to the four winds. I'll never be the same, and when you know the truth..._you won't want me anymore._"

A cold finger of fear climbed my spine and wrapped its hand around my dead heart.

"No. There is _nothing_ you can say to me that will stop me from wanting you, from loving you. I swear to you, _no matter what you tell me_, I won't feel any different about you than I do right now."

"You can't make a promise like that." Bella laughed, and it was an ugly, raspy sound.

"Yes, _I can._ I promise you, Bella. I don't need to know what it is to promise you that I'll support you and do all I can to help you. _You are my life._"

Suddenly, Bella turned on me, staring me in the eye. Her eyes were dead looking, her face red and raw, and her posture slumped. "Really? What if I told you that the woman you're going to marry is no longer p-pure?"

"It would make no difference. Who among us _is_ pure these days? I don't understand how this relates. Please...tell me what happened."

"No, Edward. You misunderstand. Let me put it this way—_I _am no longer pure—_no longer a virgin. _Is that _clear_ enough for you?"

My mouth hung agape. No wonder she didn't want me to touch her. What the hell had happened here? It was obviously much worse than I suspected, but it still made no difference. No matter what happened, I would love Bella until the earth stood still and the stars fell from the sky.

"Bella, what are you saying? Were you—were you—"

"RAPED! I WAS RAPED! VIOLATED BY YOU!" she screamed in my face and broke down in tears.

"By me? I-I don't understand, Bella."

"Not the real you, of course. It was a sh-shape-shifter. Oh, my God, my God. I need to take another bath. Yes, that's what I need." Bella's voice quieted, but it was even scarier than her outburst a second ago.

"Bella, your skin is raw. You don't need another bath, Love. Please let me hold you," I whispered to her. Looking at me distrustfully, Bella deliberated what to do. Her eyes roamed the room, looking for a way out. "Please, Bella?"

"How do I know you're you? How will I ever know it again?" Her eyes grew wide with fear, and she stuffed her hand in her mouth to stifle a sob.

"Bella, the shape-shifter can't imitate my voice, can he? You know it's me because of my voice, and you can ask me anything you'd like and I'll know the answer."

"O-okay. Yes, you are Edward. I'll be able to tell the difference," she said, more to herself than to me. "Are you sure that you can still want me after..."

"Yes, Bella. I'll always want you. Come to me, Love."

Opening my arms, I waited for her. Ever so slowly, she crawled into my embrace, and there we sat on the floor, rocking back and forth. Bella sobbed into my chest, and I sobbed with her...for her...for us. I was careful to just hold her, not to let my hands roam and make her uncomfortable. Eventually, she fell asleep on my chest, and I picked her up in my arms and carried her over to the couch. I sat down with her cradled in my lap like a child. Here I would sit for as long as necessary. Later on, I would find out who did this and _then_ my rage would begin. But for now, I had to be what Bella needed me to be.

Bella slept fitfully, mumbling in her sleep. Even in her slumber, she couldn't find peace, and it broke my heart. I wasn't sure how to get her to see that I loved her no matter what, that being raped was in no way her fault! It was ridiculous for her to blame herself. I did want to know who had done this. If it was Jacob Black, he was a dead man. As little as I thought of him though, I didn't think he would stoop to this level to get Bella. He _did_ love her.

"Who are you?" Bella whispered fearfully.

"Please let me go..."

Bella's head whipped around, and she twisted her body in my arms. Her face scrunched up in pain, and I decided to wake her.

"Tanya..."

I stilled as I heard Tanya's name fall from Bella's lips. Why would she mention Tanya? She'd never met her, and we barely discussed her.

"Oh, no, please!"

"Bella," I shook her gently. She jolted out of her sleep, eyes opening wide.

"Oh! I was having a nightmare."

Hugging her to my chest, I cradled her until she calmed a bit. "How do you feel, Bella?"

"Sore, raw—empty. I'm so sorry, Edward." She looked up at me tearfully.

"What do you have to be sorry for, Love?"

"He fooled me, and I-I didn't s-stop him."

"Think about it—was there _really_ any way you could have stopped him?" I asked softly, already knowing the answer.

"N-no, I guess not."

"Bella, _you_ are the one who was hurt. You did nothing wrong."

"I know that intellectually, but I feel so dirty, Edward!" Bella cried, wrapping her arms around my neck, which I took as an encouraging sign.

"I know, Love. It's a common reaction to...something like this. We'll get you whatever help you need."

"No! No doctors. It wouldn't help me anyway. How can a doctor help me if I can't even tell them the truth? What am I going to say—I thought it was my vampire fiancé—but oops!—it turned out to be a shape-shifter!"

"I see your point. _Our family_ will be there for you. Carlisle may be able to help, and—"

"Wait, no! I can't talk to anyone else about this! Just you, Edward, just you. Please."

"Whatever you need, I told you that. You don't have to do _anything_ you don't want to."

Bella relaxed against me with a soft sigh. We sat there quietly for a while, and then ever so slowly, her little hand reached up and touched my face. I remained completely still; something that came naturally to me. Her hand warmed my cheek, and her trust warmed my long dead heart.

"Edward, I'm sorry I pushed you away before. I-I wasn't myself," she whispered.

"I know, Bella. You don't need to apologize to me." I swept the hair back off her forehead and placed a soft kiss there.

"I don't deserve you," she sighed, closing her eyes.

"No, it is _I_ that doesn't deserve you. We could go back and forth about that all day—what matters is that we're together. I love you, Bella."

"I love you, Edward."

There was a knock at the front door, and Bella stiffened, her hold on me tightening. Alice called out to let us know it was her, asking if she could come in.

"It's up to you, Bella."

"Yes, Alice, come in."

Alice opened the door carefully and walked over to the couch. Getting on her knees, she put her head on Bella's stomach.

"Oh, Bella, I'm so sorry. This is my fault! I should have known he wasn't Edward!" Alice keened.

"No, Alice! There was no way you could have known. Please don't blame yourself," Bella stroked Alice's hair.

That was my amazing girl—offering comfort to others when it was her that had been hurt.

"Bella, can you tell us what happened?" I asked softly.

"Well, you came home—at least we thought it was you. But you never said a word. You...he started kissing my neck and then saw the lingerie on the bed...and gave me a piece to model. I thought it was odd, b-but I did it anyway. Things got out of hand quickly, and you...he was ignoring my concerns, pushing things further than we ever have. At first, it was okay, but when I said I wanted to slow down...he looked at me with irritation. That's when I knew something was really wrong. I knew you would never look at me that way, and that's when I called him on it, asked what he did with my Edward. W-when I did, h-his face changed, and I realized that I was underneath a s-stranger."

Bella paused, sobbing quietly. She gripped my shirt in her little hands, looking up into my eyes beseechingly. Stroking her hair, I placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Bella, you're doing fine. Take your time."

"I-I can't talk about it in detail right now."

"Just tell us what you can, sweetie," Alice encouraged.

"He held my hands above my head and put his hand over my mouth and...raped me. W-when he was d-done, he was angry to find out that I was a v-virgin. He said he was told that I was a s-slut and that I s-slept around with the Quileute boys and with you, Edward. He started yelling about how he was going to tear her apart for misleading him."

"Tear who apart?" I asked. Obviously someone else was behind this whole thing.

"Someone named Tanya."

Tanya.

_Fucking Tanya._

Red filled my vision, and I let out a feral growl.

Bella sucked in a breath, looking at me in fear.

"Edward?"

"I'm sorry, Bella. I'm just so angry right now..." I closed my eyes tightly, gritting my teeth.

"W-why?" Bella whispered.

"Oh, my God," Alice spoke softly, the pieces falling together.

"Bella, I know who's behind this...atrocity. My God, that bitch!" I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Who?"

"Tanya. The one from Denali that I've told you about. She wanted me for her own, but I wasn't interested, so she decided to punish me by hurting you. Oh, Bella, this is all because of me!" I was horrified to discover the truth, and it weighed heavily upon me.

"No, Edward! If this is anyone's fault, it's the beast that raped me and the bitch that sent him. It is _not_ your fault!"

Bella kissed my lips softly. I was surprised she was able to kiss me so soon after what happened. It encouraged me, and I knew that, eventually, we'd be okay.

"Alice, I need my phone."

Alice handed me the phone, and I dialed Alaska.

"Hello?"

"Tanya."

"Edward! To what do I owe the pleasure?" Tanya sounded pleased.

"Just giving you a head start."

"I'm sorry?" She sounded confused.

"Well, you always wanted all the men after you. Now, you have two."

"Ooh, sounds intriguing! Tell me more..." Tanya purred.

"Well, there's me. Then there's the _shape-shifter _that you sent to rape my Bella."

"What are you babbling about, Edward?" She tried to sound nonchalant, but I could hear the fear in her voice.

"Run, Tanya, run. _I'm coming for you, and I'm going to rip you apart and burn the pieces_..."

**~0~**

**A/N: This story came about because of a dream I had. I know, sick dream.  
**

**Before anyone gets upset, the shape-shifter IS NOT Jacob Black. It is another shape-shifter that Tanya met. In anticipation of the inevitable questions...he can shape-shift into any being. Of course just having the scent of a **_**vampire**_ **would not make him smell like Edward, however, if someone happened to give him something that belonged to Edward...you get the picture. Also, this is a story. Obviously, none of this could really happen! I write what comes to me, and I'm not opposed to bending SM's universe to fit my needs. :-)**


	2. Chapter 2 Strange Alliances

**A/N: Due to the encouragement I have received, I am continuing this story. At this point, I have no idea how many chapters it will be—I plan to see where it takes me. **

**A special thanks to one of my regulars, who always supports and encourages my writing, for sharing and discussing a very personal experience with me. I had my own close call years ago and I am amazed by the sheer number of women who_ have_ been violated and face the future with an exceptional amount of _hope, courage and strength_. This story is dedicated to all of you.  
**

**Thanks and love as always to my beta Ashley (Ms. Skittles) for her unfailing support and encouragement.**

*****

_**Previously**_

"Tanya."

"Edward! To what do I owe the pleasure?" Tanya sounded pleased.

"Just giving you a head start."

"I'm sorry?" she sounded confused.

"Well, you always wanted the men after you. Now you have two."

"Ooh, sounds intriguing! Tell me more..." Tanya purred.

"Well, there's me. Then there is the_ shapeshifter _that you sent to rape my Bella."

"What are you babbling about, Edward?" She tried to sound nonchalant, but I could hear the fear in her voice.

"Run, Tanya, run. _I'm coming for you and I'm going to rip you apart and burn the pieces_..."

*

*

**Chapter Two**

**~Strange Alliances~**

*

*

**Edward's POV**

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I slammed the phone shut so hard that it crumbled to pieces in my hand, little shards of plastic and electronics spewing every which way. I closed my eyes and tried to reign in my anger, knowing it would do no good to expend it here. Bella needed my love and support right now, not my rage. That would come later, when I found Tanya. I knew my phone call would send Tanya on the run, warn her that I was coming—but I expect that her wretched shapeshifter would have the same effect. Either he would warn her, or he would go after her himself and deny me my revenge. Neither option was palatable to me, so I decided to set things in motion.

Pinching the bridge of my nose, I breathed deeply and tried to calm myself. Bella's warm little hand found my cheek and I would have cried if I could. Here she was, just brutally raped—trying to comfort me.

"Bella," I sighed, taking her hand in mine and kissing her palm gently.

"Edward, I know you're angry and you want to go after Tanya, but I _need_ you," Bella whispered, fear evident in her eyes. "I c-can't do this w-without you. Please, p-promise me—you won't leave me."

"No, Bella, I won't leave you. I promise that no matter how angry I am, no matter how badly I want to _hurt_ Tanya—I will always put you first, love." I pulled her to me gently, leaning into the couch cushions. "But she _will not_ get away with what she's done and neither will _he,_" I spat.

Alice stood still as a statue by the living room window, not breathing, thoughts running rapid-fire through her mind. She was wondering how we should handle this; how Charlie would react; if we should let the wolf pack in on it; if Bella would heal; how it would affect Bella's change; if this would put a strain on our relations with the Denali clan; if my relationship with Bella would be able to survive this...

At that last thought a low growl issued from my throat. "Alice."

"Sorry, Edward. Do you want me to go?" Alice's eyes were glistening with venom and I know she would have wept if she were able.

"No," I sighed deeply, shaking my head. "This is hard on all of us. But Bella has to be our priority right now and I think she needs you."

Bella lifted her head from my chest, looking up at me curiously. "What's going on? What are you guys talking about?"

"Shh...nothing to worry over, Bella. Listen, love—you need to think about what you are going to say to Charlie," I prodded gently, tipping her chin up until her eyes met mine.

Panic immediately set in and tears spilled over, running down her face. "N-n-no! I don't want Ch-Charlie to know about this!" Bella shook her head back and forth vehemently. Although I couldn't read her mind, it was easy to pluck the thoughts that were running through her mind as they flitted through her eyes.

"Bella, sweetheart, we _have_ to tell him. How would you be able to keep something like this from him and why would you want to? He loves you, he will support you." Smoothing back her hair, I placed a chaste kiss on her forehead.

"No. If Charlie finds out about this, he is going to react as a_ policeman_, not just a father. He will insist that I go to the hospital and have a rape kit done—but I have already bathed! I am a police chief's daughter, I know better than that. There are just too many things that won't add up. The evidence _won't add up._"

"She's right, Edward," Alice said softly turning from the window. "We need to handle this ourselves. No law enforcement and _definitely_ no Charlie."

Bella was right, but this was not going to be easy to keep from Charlie. Sighing, I pulled Bella back to my chest gently, stroking her hair and gradually her heart rate returned to normal. How she was able to sit here and think strategy right after being attacked was beyond me. We were the vampires; strong, invincible, fast, immortal—but Bella was truly remarkable. Strength comes in many different packages and Bella was living, breathing proof of that. Pride swelled in my long dead heart for the fragile little human I held in my arms, that I failed to protect. Perhaps I shouldn't have been so stubborn about changing her—she could be a vampire right now and this would never have happened. My breath caught as I realized this could have been avoided.

"Edward Cullen..._please_ tell me you are not trying to find some way to make this whole thing your fault." Bella looked up at me, eyes blazing. My mouth opened and then closed again as I stared down at her. How did she know? "I just know you," she sighed deeply with a shake of her head, placing it back on my chest.

Alice snorted and I glared at her. "What, Edward? She's got you pegged! You have to admit it. _Oh! _Bella, are you sure about this? I don't know if that's such a grand idea..." Alice trailed off.

Slowly, Bella pulled away from me, looking nervous. "Yes, I'm sure, Alice. But h-how do I tell- " Bella looked over at me.

"Someone want to fill me in?" I asked, slightly annoyed.

"Bella?" Alice offered, reciting a poem in her head. This couldn't be good.

"Edward, I want to talk to Sam and Jacob about this, they will--" Bella began carefully.

"What—no! No way! You want those _dogs _to know about this? It was one of _them_ that did this to you, Bella—or have you forgotten?" My temper flared and I was unable to keep it in check.

Bella flung herself back from me, eyes ablaze with anger, looking incredulous. "NO, I most certainly _have not_ forgotten a single moment. Remember this Edward—it happened to _me_, not to you. It was _my body_ that was violated. _My_ innocence that was stolen. We are going to do this _my way_. If you can't handle that, I'm sorry. But I refuse to let anyone dictate what I do about the most helpless moment of my existence." Speech over, Bella's body crumpled to the floor next to the couch, spent—the tears flowing.

If I thought I could not feel more awful—I had been wrong. It was difficult for me to relinquish control, to realize that I was not always the one with the correct answers. Instead of realizing that Bella needed to be the one in charge, that she needed to feel strong—I was running all over her, making her feel helpless just like that beast that attacked her.

Kneeling on the floor beside her, I took her warm little hands in my large cold ones. "Bella," I whispered, "I am so sorry. I never want to be the one to hurt you, or cause you pain. I wasn't thinking. The need to protect you from everything is so strong in me that I sometimes forget that you should be free to make your own decisions. Things were much different when I was turned—it's hard for me to accept more modern practices, but I _am _trying."

"It's okay, old man. I will keep you in line," she smiled through her tears. Would she never stop amazing me?

Alice smiled, coming closer. "Bella, I understand the way you want to do this, but you understand that we will need to tell our whole family what happened right?" she inquired gently.

"Y-yes, I know. Here's the thing—I don't want to be there. I want you to tell them what happened and let them know that while I appreciate their concern—I don't want to talk about this. Just with you two, okay? At least for now. It's how I can remain strong enough to move forward. It's bad enough that I will have to discuss any of it with Sam a-and J-Jacob."

Biting back my initial reaction to her words, fighting the urge to sneer about Jacob Black—I simply nodded, as did Alice. "Whatever you want, love. We will do this your way."

Bella turned her face up to mine, her eyes filled with gratefulness. "Do you mean that, Edward? Because I need to know that I can count on that—on you."

"Yes, Bella. I will do anything—be anything—for you. Even if it means turning upside down one hundred years worth of habits." I grinned crookedly at her.

"Alright then, it's time to call Sam and Jacob." Bella's voice held strong.

*****

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**Jacob's POV**

*

*

The water swirled below me, crashing against the rocks...spraying...ebbing...flowing. Just like the tides of life ebbed and flowed, things changed, morphed. What was yesterday appeared different today, the same exact pattern never to be repeated—but a similar motif might present itself that reminds one of what has come before.

The yells and catcalls of my brothers tickled at the periphery of my senses as though trying to draw me out of my cocoon. The self imposed shell I had been sporting since Bella firmly chose Edward—although _they_ would say that had never been in question at all—was comfortable and familiar. I didn't _want _to come out of it, to relinquish the hardened structure I worked so hard to construct—and leave my tender, vulnerable, inner self open to be hurt, bludgeoned, injured. I liked it in here.

"WOO HOO!!" Paul whooped as he raced past me barefoot, wearing only his cutoff shorts—and flung himself off the cliff, arms held out, legs pumping in the air.

From my perch on the large boulder, which was on the edge of the cliff, yet off to the side, I could observe everyone easily. Sam stood with his arms crossed, a slight smile playing about his lips, watching over his flock. He was across from me, on the other side of the cliff edge, also at a surreptitious vantage point.

The guys went over the side one by one—Jared, Quil, Embry—leaving Seth the lone wolf. This was Seth's first time cliff jumping and I could see his throat work as he swallowed hard, puffing up his chest, trying to look brave. He was the most tender amongst us in all ways—tender footed, tender hearted.

"It'll be better for you if you go on your own, Seth," Sam spoke quietly. "If I throw you off, you won't live it down. If I let you chicken out, you won't live it down _and_ they will find a way to make your life hell. Isn't jumping starting to sound more appetizing?"

"Uh huh." Seth nodded. He ran as fast as he could and flung himself into the air, screwing his eyes shut tight. He arched his body into a dive that would make any swim coach proud.

When it was just the two of us left, Sam sauntered over to me slowly. He looked me directly in the eye, searchingly, not speaking. Staring back impassively, I continued to sit back on my heels. I wasn't sure what Sam's game was, but I wasn't playing. I _knew_ that I wasn't "right", that things were strange. But I also knew that I wasn't harming anyone by maintaining my self-made shelter.

The salty air blew across my face harshly, causing my eyes to tear and squint, the heat that I put off abating any chill in the air. Breathing in deeply, I tasted the salt on the air and it brought me back in time to days gone by—to when I was a young Quileute boy frolicking on the beach...wolves and cold ones just legends talked about around the bonfire.

Sam continued to stand there with his arms crossed, gazing up at me fixedly, an unreadable expression on his face. What he might not have realized was that I could sit here all day—that if he was looking to win a staring contest, he had already lost. I was comfortably ensconced in my shell and outside influences didn't penetrate here. The emotional numbness was becoming...pleasant...preferable to the twisted up mass of hatred I had become.

Our competition was interrupted by the screeching of a hawk. It flew past the edge of the cliff, wings unfurled, gliding in the updraft. It looked directly at us, with an intelligence that was...unnerving. It was larger than any hawk I had ever encountered and its humongous beak opened up as it stared me in the eye and it let out a screech that sounded as though it was _screaming_ in pain. It threw its head back, mid air, letting out another ear piercing shriek—and then it was gone—huge wings flapping, using the air currents to best advantage, rising higher and higher, racing out over the water. An involuntary shiver ran through me.

"Jacob," Sam called to me softly.

"Yes?" I returned my gaze to his, forgetting the strange hawk.

"How long is this going to go on?" His voice remained gentle, concerned. He wasn't trying to go all Alpha on me and that was something I appreciated.

"How long is what going to go on?" That didn't mean I would make things _easy_ for him.

Sam graced me with a sardonic look. "Let's not be coy. You know exactly what I'm referring to. I have to say this, Jacob—it deeply disturbs me that you are letting things go this far, for someone that you did not imprint on. Even if Bella were to leave Edward for you...what would the end result be? What if you met your imprint a month from then...a year from then?" Pain laced Sam's voice and I knew that he was thinking of Leah and Emily.

I sighed deeply, knowing he was right, hating the fact. "Sam, I know what you say is correct _factually_, but it doesn't translate _emotionally_. This-this protection I wear, it keeps me sane. I don't know how to _feel_ any more and I'm not sure I ever will."

"I hear you, brother. I need to know...that you're not..." Sam trailed off, looking down at his feet for the first time.

"That I'm not what?" My eyes narrowed.

"Suicidal, Jake." Sam's eye snapped back up to meet mine.

I barked out a laugh, rubbing some of the salt air from my stinging eyes. "Suicidal? Are you kidding me? No. That is one thing you don't have to worry over with me."

"You're being straight with me?"

"As an arrow, Sam. I'm hurt. I'm broken. I'm _not_ suicidal." Jumping down from the boulder, I landed softly next to Sam, placing my hand on his shoulder for reassurance.

He nodded his head. "I'm sorry, I had to ask. It's just...sometimes the way you look out over this cliff, as though longing for something in those waters..."

"Oh that," I answered, my voice flat. "When I'm looking into the water, I'm thinking about Bella—about when she jumped and how it set so much in motion. It was the beginning of the _need_ for me to construct this shell around myself. When that bloodsucking psychic saw her jump and came running. If she hadn't jumped, if they hadn't come back...I just – "

"It's okay, Jake. You don't have to go into it. I just want to be clear on what's happening with you. I won't bother you about this again; you will come around in your own time." Sam clapped me on the back.

We looked at each other sideways and with complete understanding ran full force, whooping and hollering in tandem off the end of the cliff into a graceful swan dive. What a rush.

***

"Yo, Jacob!" Quil yelled as I came out of the waves onto the beach. "Your phone has been ringing—it's Bella!"

My heart hit the ground and bounced back up, beating hard. Why was Bella calling? We hadn't exactly been on good terms since she punched me in the face for kissing her (well worth it) and announced she would be marrying the leech in a few weeks.

When I listened to the voicemail, it was Edward's voice I heard and an icy cold hand of fear ran up my spine and wrapped around my heart. "Jacob, this is Edward. Something has happened and we need to speak with yourself and Sam as soon as possible. It's extremely important that this remain between us...for Bella's sake."

"Sam! Listen to this!" I said frantically, waving him over. After hearing the message, Sam sent the rest of the guys on their way and we called Bella's phone back together.

"Hello," Edward's soft voice, laced with tightness and pain answered.

"Edward, this is Sam. I have Jacob here with me." Sam took control. I knew it had more to do with support for me, than his desire to be in charge.

"Thank you for calling back so quickly. We need to meet with the two of you. Something has happened...I can't discuss it over the phone." Edward sounded...tired.

"Is Bella okay?" Sam asked.

"That depends on your definition of okay, Sam. But she is intact, yes." Edward's voice was devoid of color and the cold hand of fear squeezed tighter.

I was unable to control myself any longer and I jumped in. "What does that mean? Did you hurt her leech? Because if you did –"

"Jacob!" Sam broke in, shooting me a warning glance.

Edward sighed deeply. "No, Jacob. On this score, _both_ of our kinds were to blame in one way or another. Please, we need to meet in person—Bella has insisted it's the way she wants it."

"Where?" asked Sam.

"For Bella's sake, let us forget treaty lines. Please, if the two of you would come to our home. It will be myself, Alice and Bella. The others will be out."

"This is serious, isn't it, Edward?" Sam looked pale under his russet skin.

"Yes. Yes it is," he whispered, pain evident in his voice.

"Jacob and I will be right over."

Sam looked at me, not speaking. A feeling of trepidation ran through me. Something was about to change in a very dramatic way—I could feel it in the very air as we phased and sprinted full speed towards the Cullen's.

*

*

**A/N: Would love to hear thoughts on where you would like to see this story go. I have a lot of ideas floating around right now, but have not decided yet in what direction I am going to take it. I am definitely open to hearing ideas and, of course, will give credit where it is due.**

**There is a link to an awesome banner for this story on my profile—check it out! **

**Just a reminder that I will be concentrating mainly on my other fic ISYC until it is finished, so updates on this one will not be as frequent. Patience is appreciated. :-)**


	3. Chapter 3 Revelation

**A/N: I want to thank my readers for all the support I am getting for this story. It wasn't something I really wanted to even start writing for the one shot contest and then, as per usual, my writing got out of hand and it turned into a full length story! This is not going to be a pretty love story, it's going to get ugly and, to tell you the truth, I **_**don't know**_** where it's going yet. This is how I write and my regulars know that my characters like to hijack my chapters from me, so my best laid plans...ha!**

**Get the tissues out. There is nothing happy or pretty about this chapter. It won't all be this dark though, that much I do know. :-)**

**Big hugs to my beta Ashley (Ms. Skittles) who comes back from being snowbound and betas for me pronto, so I can get chapters out to you guys faster!**

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**Chapter Three**

**~Revelation~**

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**Edward's POV**

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Punishment. It came in many different forms. My stupidity, my rigidity, my foolishness...had all come back to roost. What if...if only...I could go around and around for eternity. I knew though..._knew_...that if I had not been so stubborn; if I had not left Bella in the forest that day; if I had not refused her advances; if I had not insisted we marry before I change her—that none of this would have happened. We would not be standing in front of my home right now, waiting for two wolves to come calling. Waiting outside due to the fear, the almost _certainty_, that Jacob would phase when he heard the news we were about to impart—that Bella deemed that _I_ should be the one to share with our furry friends.

Bella didn't trust herself to speak. She would be there for confirmation purposes, so they would know that I was not lying or twisting the truth—but she didn't want to tell the tale. The pain of the retelling would rest upon me, where it belonged. Any pain related to this event firmly belonged with me. If there were a way to take Bella's pain away, I would gladly take it upon myself. She would hate hearing me say that, knowing I was blaming myself. Bella would never lay the blame where it _really_ belonged.

I ached inside. I ached to talk with my family and tell them what happened—to strategize. Knowing I could not run off after Tanya, I needed to rely on others to do my footwork. I knew Emmett would be furious, Rose absolutely feral. I was counting on the two of them to do the tracking for me. Once I found out where Tanya was hiding out, then..._oh then _I would let the beast inside me loose_._

For now, I had to turn my thoughts to dealing with the wolves. I had to be strong for Bella and as diplomatic as possible with the mutts. Jacob loved Bella and this was going to devastate him. Although there was no love lost between the two of us—I didn't wish any of this pain on him. I knew where _I _would be headed if I didn't have Bella to be concerned about and it wasn't pretty. Jacob would be going there with nothing to stop him from going over the edge of the abyss and for that, I was sorry.

I had spoken to my family, asking them to stay away from the house until we gave them the all clear to return. I assured Carlisle that our meeting with the wolves would not endanger the treaty; I would explain everything to him later on. Trusting my judgment, along with Alice's, the family went hunting. Jasper was not so easy to convince, but after a few whispered words with Alice, he reluctantly agreed.

Now, the three of us were in front of our home, awaiting the arrival of the wolves. "How long Alice?" I asked softly.

"Well, seeing as our futures all disappear in three minutes..." Alice quipped. "I'd say about three minutes."

"You don't know how they will react then?"

"No, Edward." Alice shook her head. "I feel out of my element. It's...disturbing."

It was a cool July evening, overcast with a small sliver of moon showing through the trees. Bella stood beside me, clutching my hand, shivering frequently. She kept denying that she was cold and I expected it was her fear that caused the trembling. I couldn't blame her—I was not looking forward to this conversation either.

"Edward, are you going to be able to keep your cool with Jacob?" Bella asked quietly. Her words were without accusation, she simply needed to know.

It hurt that she needed to ask me that, but it was my own fault. Acting like a jealous caveman, I had tried to deny her access to Jacob until I finally realized my mistake. It was too late though, the damage was done and she would be second guessing my motives for a long time to come.

I raised our linked hands up to my lips and kissed her knuckles gently. "Yes, Bella. As I told you before, whatever you need me to be, I will be for you."

"I love you, Edward."

"I love you too, Bella. So much." Seeking her permission first, I pulled her into my embrace and just held her until I heard the sounds of the wolves approaching, followed by the cadence of the pack mind link.

"Bella, they're here." I pulled back from her and with an indrawn breath, she gripped my hand, stepping slightly behind me, as though to use me as a shield.

Their paws thundered through the woods and then slowed at the tree line as the wolves phased back into their human form. They padded out from the canopy of trees shoulder to shoulder, Jacob slightly behind Sam, something only enhanced vision would capture.

As they neared us, I could sense a great disquiet in Jacob, although he was doing a fine job of trying to keep me out of his thoughts. Sam's face was impassive; his thoughts strangely blank as well. They must have been practicing to keep me out.

"Sam, Jacob. Thank you for coming," I acknowledged. Bella shivered against my right arm.

"Boys," Alice spoke from my left.

Jacob snorted. _Boys? Do we look like boys??_

Ah, there it was. He could block me out with great effort, but his emotions would always allow a way in. It was good to know, another piece of knowledge for my toolkit.

"Hello," Sam said in a neutral tone. "Bella? You okay?"

"Bella has asked me to speak for her, Sam. I hope you have no objections," I spoke up, feeling Bella tremor as she placed her forehead against the back of my shoulder.

_What the hell? He's SPEAKING for her now? _Jacob grumbled to himself.

"I have no objection, Edward. Bella is standing right here, it's obviously what she wants." Sam nodded his head and shot Jacob a look. He might not be able to read Jacob's mind, but he knew him well. _Easy, Jacob. Please don't lose it._

"Sam, a private word, if I may?" I queried.

Sam agreed and we walked far enough away that Jacob would not hear what we were talking about. Jacob shifted around, uncomfortably. Alice bounced on her toes and looked up at the sky.

Bella clung to me, refusing to allow me to leave her side. Maybe that was good, it just reinforced that this is what she wanted.

"Sam, I would like you to keep Jacob a safe distance from Bella. I expect he might phase during this conversation and I want to be sure that Bella does not get injured." I tried to make my request in a kind way, not an accusatory one.

_What the hell is he going to tell us? _Sam thought, but he simply nodded. "Okay."

"You may need to control Jacob. There is no way of knowing how he will react..."

Sam sighed deeply. "Edward, you are being very cryptic. I am indulging you because of Bella, you understand that right? Is what you are about to tell me going to violate the treaty?"

"No, we have not violated the treaty, nor do we intend to. I'm sorry for the subterfuge, Sam. All will be made clear soon, I _must_ ensure Bella's safety, though."

"Understood. We will stay back from Bella and, if Jacob phases, I will too. That way I can issue an Alpha command for him to stand down. Good enough?"

"Yes, thank you, Sam."

We returned to the front of the house, where Jacob was now pacing back and forth, grumbling to himself. Sam positioned them back a ways, standing slightly in front of Jacob.

Alice looked uncomfortable. _I hate that I can't see the future around them, Edward!_

I nodded imperceptibly and then turned to Bella, tipping her face up to meet my gaze. "Are you ready, love? Are you sure about this?" I whispered.

"Yes, Edward. Thank you." Tears shown in her eyes and she stood up on tiptoe, kissing my lips quickly.

Jacob growled low in his throat, but it wasn't loud enough for Bella to hear. Sam shot him a look, I just ignored it. Things were about to get much worse.

"Thank you both for coming. Something has happened and Bella wanted to discuss it with the two of you. She doesn't wish to bring any law enforcement in on this and I need your word that it will remain confidential."

"Law enforcement—what the hell happened?" Jacob burst out.

"Jacob," Sam admonished in a soft voice, "let Edward speak. This is obviously difficult for Bella; why make it harder?"

Jacob opened his mouth and then snapped it shut, quieting. He nodded his head for me to go on.

How was I supposed to say this? I was so unsure where to start. No matter how I came at this...it was going to get ugly.

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**Jacob's POV**

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Watching Bella with her leech—the way her body instinctively curled towards his—made me sick. Bella didn't move an inch from his side. Even when he asked to speak with Sam privately, she ghosted him as though afraid to be away from him for even a second. Her eyes never left him—they were on some part of him continually, she never looked my way once, never acknowledged that I was here. Edward told us it was Bella's wish that he speak _for her_. Her presence there was proof of his claim and I'm sure it was planned that way. Otherwise, I'm sure Bella would not be in on this meeting at all. She looked supremely uncomfortable, as though she wanted to be anywhere but here.

After losing my chance at happiness with the woman I loved, I couldn't imagine what could hurt me—but just the same, fear coiled in my belly and I couldn't shake it. For heaven's sake, I was a werewolf! My body healed at lightning speed and I was made to destroy leeches—immortal, indestructible beings otherwise. So, why was I so scared now?

As the fear overtook me, there was a change in Edward, an almost imperceptible curl to his lip. I could tell he was now able to read me. My emotional state was obviously key in keeping the bloodsucker out of my head. I tightened down my feelings, putting up the wall again.

"Thank you both for coming. Something has happened and Bella wanted to discuss it with the two of you. She doesn't wish to bring any law enforcement in on this and I need your word that it will remain confidential." Edward's voice was low and modulated; he was trying to keep his cool.

"Law enforcement—what the hell happened?" I burst out, unable to stop myself.

"Jacob, let Edward speak. This is obviously difficult for Bella; why make it harder?" Sam spoke softly, but with authority. I knew I was only a step away from my mouth being bound by an Alpha command. I nodded my head for Edward to go on.

Edward didn't look like his usual fierce self—he looked almost...broken. He stood a foot taller than Bella, yet he looked shrunken at this moment, almost as though _she_ was holding _him_ up. The fear coiled again letting my thoughts free and his eyes shot to mine.

"You aren't far off, Jacob. I _am_ broken," Edward said softly. But then a strange light entered his amber eyes and his voice chilled me when he said, "But _I _am going to be doing the breaking in the near future." The hand that was not holding Bella's, curled into a tight fist and his jaw flexed. I daresay that he would have crushed marble to dust in that fist and broken his jaw had he been human.

"What happened?" It came out in a whisper now, because for the unflappable Edward Cullen to be so on the brink of losing it...oh God it was bad.

Edward closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers. He took a few deep and unnecessary breaths.

"This is a bit complicated and I have been wrestling over where to begin. I ask that you be patient and that you give me a chance to get this all out. There is another vampire, Tanya, that took a liking to me. She lives in Alaska and belongs to a coven like my own; they do not drink human blood. Tanya is a succubus—her talent is seduction. Being that I read minds, I was not susceptible to Tanya's gift and I found her mind a rather vile place to be. Tanya made her intentions known, that she was in love with me—and I turned her down. She took this very personally. The next part I am not entirely clear on, but she apparently met and seduced a shapeshifter..."

I growled low in my throat. What one of us would be able to stand the _stench_ of one of them? Sam put his arm out in warning and I quieted.

Edward continued, "Tanya apparently filled his head with all kinds of lies about Bella. She told him that Bella was sleeping around with both vampires and members of the Quileute tribe." This time the growl came from Edward himself. "She convinced him that it would mean a lot to her if he were to do her a favor and because he was in love with her—he agreed." Edward stopped, closing his eyes. Bella stroked his arm gently, her face still pressed into the back of his shoulder.

"What did he agree to, Edward?" Sam asked softly.

"Earlier today, there was a benefit at the hospital for Carlisle, which I attended. Bella and Alice went shopping and we were to meet back at the cottage, which is on our property. They were putting away things they bought for our honeymoon..." Edward was interrupted by my growl. Did he really need to mention their _honeymoon?_

Edward looked up at me apologetically. "Jacob, it _is_ necessary to the situation to explain what happened, I'm sorry. I'm going to explain the rest from Bella's perspective. I think it's the best way to get across what happened."

"Bella heard the door and I came into the room. Alice left to give us privacy. Bella was sorting some lingerie she bought and I picked up a piece and handed it to her to try on. When she came out of the bathroom, things got rather...intimate. But Bella questioned it because she and I haven't...we have been waiting for the honeymoon."

_What the hell?_ "Edward, I_ know _she chose you. Why do you feel the need to rub my face in it?" I ground out.

"No, Jacob, that's not what I'm doing." Edward shook his head. "Trust me, you will see in a moment. Things got really carried away and we were about to...when Bella stopped me and asked what was going on. She said I looked really irritated at her and that's when she knew something was really wrong. She called me on it and when she did—my face morphed into someone else. The man that was in her bed was a shapeshifter and he – "

A high keening sound rang out in the night. Edward's eyes closed and I realized it was coming from Bella. Edward turned to her slowly, carefully, as though she was made of glass. It almost seemed he was seeking permission to touch her. Bella threw her head back and shrieked, throwing herself on Edward, clinging to him. His arms went around her and he just let her scream it out, his eyes screwed shut tight against the sound.

"I have you. I have you. Let it out," Edward whispered to her.

The moment was so incredibly intimate, I felt like a voyeur. What was he talking about? What happened? I felt helpless and confused. It was hard to see Bella in so much pain...harder to see her clinging to _him, _finding her solace in him, _always him._

Bella was shaking and she could no longer stand. Her knees collapsed and Edward fell to his knees with her, pain twisting his features. Screaming over, she buried her face in his chest and he stroked her hair gently.

Suddenly, Bella's head snapped up. "It's you? How do I know it's you?" Her voice bordered on hysterical.

"Bella, it's okay. You can hear my voice, that's how you know. I can answer any question you want to know, remember? I have you." Anguish washed over Edward's face as he pulled Bella closer and now I could see anger there as well.

Sam looked grim. I could tell he was starting to suspect something, but I felt like an idiot. What was I not seeing here? Other than the fact that Bella clearly loved Edward, wanted Edward, in her moments of most dire need _cleaved_ to Edward...what the hell was this about? My heart broke for her, the woman I loved. Oh, how I wish it was _me_ she wanted—that I could hold and comfort her.

"Alice. Please, can you finish telling them?" Edward's voice was hoarse.

All this time, Alice had been still as a statue. I had forgotten she was still there in the shadows. When she stepped forward at Edward's prompting, I was startled. There was pain in her eyes, as well. Alice turned to Bella and asked permission to continue. Bella nodded her head, never once lifting it from its place in Edward's shirt.

Edward rocked Bella back and forth on the ground, whispering to her so low; I was unable to hear what he was saying. Whatever it was, it seemed to calm her further and her cries faded to occasional hiccups.

Alice turned back to us, face filled with sorrow. "When the shapeshifter's face changed, Bella knew it wasn't really Edward she was being intimate with. He became annoyed that he was found out and then he...forced himself on Bella."

_WHAT? HE WHAT? NO NO NO NO NO! _

"Uh uh! No way, leech. You expect us to believe one of _us_ did this? We don't change into other beings!" I snapped out.

"Jacob! Calm yourself." Sam ordered.

Alice smiled sadly. "I'm so sorry we had to tell you this. That this had to happen at all. Tanya convinced the shapeshifter to do this for her, he admitted it to Bella."

"We are WOLVES!" I bellowed out, my body starting to shake.

"Jacob! Technically, we can shift into any other being. Long ago, our tribe chose the form of the werewolf, but there are other factions out there that have learned to morph into other beings. It is definitely in the realm of possibility—from what I'm hearing, probability—that one of our own tribe committed this heinous crime against Bella." Sam was grim.

_HE RAPED BELLA? ONE OF OUR OWN? NO! NO NO NO! TOOK HER INNOCENCE? NO!_

A sob ripped out of Edward and I realized that he could hear my thoughts. No wall could keep in the grief and sick feeling that ran through me. My body started to shimmer and tremble. I threw my head back and yelled as loud as I could.

"NO! NO!"

Sam phased, likely in anticipation of my own transformation, which was now inevitable. There was no control in me as it felt like an earthquake ripping through my body, joints rearranging, sinew stretching, muscle exploding out into my wolf form. My yells turned into howls of pain as I bayed at the sky. I snarled and gnashed my teeth, the desire to destroy overwhelming.

_JACOB! YOU WILL NOT GO ANYWHERE NEAR BELLA OR THE CULLENS RIGHT NOW. _Sam invoked his Alpha command.

Turning, I ran for the trees, knocking one clear out of the ground with a loud boom. Using my claws, I sliced through trees and boulders, howling all the while. I needed to find that shapeshifter and rip him to pieces.

I couldn't have Bella as mine, she was in love with a bloodsucker and then one of my own kind takes away something as precious as her innocence?

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**Edward's POV**

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There was no love lost between myself and Jacob Black, but I felt sorry for him tonight. His pain ripped through me as all his thoughts were amplified and projected into the atmosphere. At first, he didn't believe us, but once Sam confirmed the ability of their tribe to shift into other beings, the realization slammed home. It hit Jacob between the eyes and his pain was enormous. A sob ripped from my own chest under the weight of his emotions.

When he phased, his howls could probably be heard for miles around. They were filled with pain and anguish. Sam phased just before Jacob, immediately issuing an Alpha command, forbidding him from coming too close to us. I was thankful for that because an angry werewolf was a volatile and unpredictable one.

Jacob turned tail and ran at the trees, knocking one down, raging against the vegetation with his claws. As he continued to let out painful howls, Bella shook in my arms.

Sam ran into the trees and phased back into his human form, returning a few minutes later.

"Bella, we'll get through this," I whispered, stroking her hair.

"I know. I love you, Edward." Her voice was steady and my heart swelled with love and pride.

"I love you so much, Bella, so much." I kissed her hair.

"So, the shapeshifter, do we have a description?" Sam asked.

Alice answered, "Yes. He was russet skinned, a scar under his right eye, short spiky hair. Once I realized that it wasn't Edward that was with Bella, I rushed to the cottage—but it was too late already. I attacked him, but he turned into a hawk and flew off."

"Wait—what? He turned into a hawk you say?" Sam's head snapped up.

"Yes, why? Does that mean something to you?"

"Well, Jacob and I were up on the cliffs and a strangely large hawk flew by. It was shrieking as though it was in pain and it looked too...intelligent for a hawk. I'll bet that was him," Sam replied grimly.

"Any idea of who he might be?" Alice queried.

"Not off the bat, but let me see what I can find out. There are small pockets of Quileutes around that are not part of our tribe. Rest assured, we will help you track down this abomination and justice will be served. I completely understand the need to leave law enforcement out of this."

Howls could be heard, further in the distance now. There were a few answering yelps as more of the wolf pack must have heard Jacob's cries and phased out of concern for their brother. Suddenly there was a cacophony of angry, pained howls joined together, splitting the night.

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**A/N: There is a link to a brand new banner on my profile as a companion to this chapter called "Shattered ~ Jacob's Pain". The links haven't been working, so below them is a link to my main story banner album which you can cut and paste into your browser. Thanks to the talented Lindz for the awesome banner!**

**Reviewers get TEASED! :-)**


	4. Chapter 4 Familial Support

**A/N: I want to send out a special thank you to all of the courageous women who have been through attacks of their own and are supporting my story. I put my warning at the beginning of Chapter One thinking many of you would want to avoid reading it and, instead, have received such inspiring messages and reviews! I find that I am learning a lot about the resilience of the human soul, both through writing this story and through talking with some of my readers about their own personal tragedies and subsequent triumphs over them. I have teared up more times that I can tell you and I am so impressed with all of you.**

**Thanks to my beta Ashley (Ms. Skittles) who always supports my writing and has gotten this back to me superfast, even though she is still on a trip out of the country. You rock girlfriend! Ashley and I have been wanting to do some writing together for a while now and she will most likely be taking on Tanya's POV for this story. I'm very excited!**

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**Chapter Four**

**~Familial Support~**

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**Edward's POV**

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The darkness of night was fading, the light of the new day just a hint on the horizon. In a few hours, there would be full sun streaming through the window where I stood—where I had been standing, still as a statue, for the past several hours—while Bella slept.

After listening to the angry, pained howls from the wolf pack as they supported Jacob in his time of pain, Bella had all but collapsed. When I mentioned taking her home to Charlie's, she turned into a quivering mess and became hysterical. Alice stepped in and told me to bring Bella to my room; that Bella would be staying with us at the house. I asked her exactly how she planned to pull that off, but she just smirked and told me it was a done deal—that she already saw that Charlie would agree. Shrugging, because the details really didn't matter much to me, I turned to Bella and inquired if this was what she wanted. Did she want to stay with me, sleep in my bed? In answer, she threw herself into my arms and whispered, "Yes, please, Edward."

After Alice left to handle Charlie, I carried Bella up to my room and laid her down gently on the bed as though she was a piece of spun glass. As I stood up, she had grabbed my shirt frantically in her hands. "Don't leave me!"

"I'm not going anywhere, Bella. I will stay by your side for as long as you want me to."

Looking up into my eyes for what seemed like a long time, she finally seemed satisfied with what she saw there. Pulling me down onto the bed, she clung to me as though I was a life preserver. This was rather surprising to me, since it was someone who at first looked like me that had perpetrated her attack. I was happy though—oh so happy—that she would even allow me _near_ her, let alone hold her and touch her.

Once Bella fell asleep, she started to dream. There was already a tendency for her to talk in her sleep, which I normally found endearing, but now it was disturbing. I could not lay with her on the bed and listen to the whimpers, cries and pleas falling from her lips. It made me feel dirty in some way, almost as though I _had_ been the one to hurt her. Tugging my hands through my hair in frustration, I had very carefully extricated myself from Bella's embrace and moved to the window—unwilling to go far from her in case she needed me, but equally unwilling to have her open her eyes to my face in the bed, fearing it would cause her distress.

As I watched the sky lighten, my mind touched upon a thought I had been dancing around, but had been afraid to confront. _My face_ what was Bella saw just before she was raped. Even though intellectually she knew it wasn't really me, would it have lasting impact on our relationship? How was she able to look at me—to touch me? I felt unclean just thinking about it, therefore, I could not begin to fathom how Bella was feeling. Would there come a moment that she realized all this herself, when the other shoe dropped and she was disgusted by the very sight of me? A shudder ran through my body and a soft sob escaped my lips before I could stop it.

"Edward?"

My head whipped around, caught unawares, and I found the soft chocolate pools of Bella's eyes trained on me. I smoothed out my expression quickly, not wanting her to see how anguished I felt. "Good morning, love."

"What's wrong, Edward? Why were you – " Bella halted, sounding anxious. Lifting up on one elbow, she supported her upper body and she sat up to get a better look at me. I left my post at the window and knelt by the bed, looking deeply into her eyes. I saw no disgust there, only love and concern.

"Nothing to worry over. How did you sleep?" I put my hand out very slowly, making sure she saw it coming, and smoothed back her hair.

"Edward, I heard you. Please don't treat me different now. What happened makes me feel broken enough, without you treating me like I am about to break again. Tell me what it was that caused you so much pain that you didn't even know I was awake and watching you—that I was able to startle you."

Bella sat up fully, running her fingers in my hair gently. Always so gentle and loving, no matter what. Sighing, I put my forehead down to the blanket, so she could not see my face. I did not want to look into her eyes as I told her this, because if there was even a flicker of recognition, of confirmation, I would die all over again.

"Bella, I was wondering if one day soon you would find yourself disgusted by me. Because it was _my face_ that you saw before the attack. I don't understand how you can bare to look at me, touch me, kiss me. The thought that your love for me will die on the vine...that you might want to leave me..."

Bella's hands stilled for a moment as she drew in a harsh breath. Perhaps I had done it then? Brought the obvious to her attention? Was she now realizing that my concerns were right on the money? Wondering how she didn't realize it sooner? My chest started to throb with the impending loss.

"Edward Cullen. How dare you!" Bella whispered fiercely. Wait, what? Her fingers dragged deeper into my hair, pulling hard for a fragile little human, and yanked until I raised my head. Her eyes sparked dangerously. "_I love you_! I agreed to be _your wife_. Remember the vows we will be exchanging in a few weeks? For _better or worse_. There is nothing in this world that could ever taint my love for you, Edward. I know it wasn't you in that room. It was my knowledge of you that caused him to reveal his true self—because I just couldn't accept that _you_ were behaving that way. Please, oh please, don't make this any harder on me by forcing me to carry two burdens. I have to deal with what was taken from me that I can never get back—but don't take you away from me, too." Her voice started out strong and loud, but ended so I could barely hear her as she deflated before me.

Was there no end to my stupidity? It seemed at every turn, I made Bella feel worse. My mouth opened and then slammed shut. I could feel the venom pricking my eyes, although I could not cry in tears. I took her face gently between my hands and leaned forward until our lips hovered just out of reach, her warm breath ghosting over me. Remembering that she didn't want me to treat her like she was broken, I closed the distance and kissed her softly. In the back of my mind, I was ever aware of her reactions, in case this was too much. Bella's heart picked up speed, but no adrenaline was released, there was no fear. Her lips caressed mine and her hands, which were still in my hair, pulled me even closer as she responded to my kiss.

Pulling back slightly, I looked Bella in the eye. "Promise me something, love?" I murmured.

"What?" Her face tightened slightly as though she was afraid of what I would make her promise—or more than likely what promise I might try to break. My mind quickly flitted over the promise I made her to try to make love before changing her and I quickly let the thought go as pain tore through me.

"If I do _anything_ at all that makes you uncomfortable in any way, you must tell me. I will try my best not to treat you different, but you must promise me this in return. Can you do that?"

The first genuine smile since this happened crossed Bella's face. "Yes, I can do that."

I only prayed that I could keep up my end.

There was a knock on the door and Alice entered the room.

"It's time. The family is downstairs in the dining room and they are anxious to know what's happened. Bella, can I stay with you, while Edward speaks to them or do you want to come down?"

"Please, Alice, stay with me. I don't want to discuss what happened," Bella answered in a shaky voice. "What about Charlie? What did you tell him?"

"Well, I reminded him that you would be a married woman in a few weeks and that I needed some help planning the wedding. I explained that it would be ever so much easier if you stayed at the cottage, so you could help me with the wedding, since I was _so_ overwhelmed. He bought it hook, line and sinker. You are free to stay here until the wedding," Alice smirked, clapping her hands together.

Bella got off the bed and hugged Alice tight. "Thank you, Alice. You have no idea what this means to me."

I stood up and gathered my thoughts, not looking forward to the conversation I now needed to have with my family. Turning back to the window, I saw the first rays of the sun peeking over the horizon, like hope rising up.

"Edward?" Bella's voice came from behind my left shoulder. I pressed my forehead to the glass with a sigh. Her hands ghosted up my back, rubbing slow circles. "Are you okay? Can you handle telling your family?"

A sob built up in my chest and I bit it back for Bella's sake. She was so strong, so supportive. It was _me_ that was the weak link right now. I had to pull myself together for what was to come. Any further missteps on my part could affect Bella and my family. Turning towards Bella, I took her in my arms—but it was _her_ that was supporting me, I was under no illusions about that.

"Oh Bella, don't worry about me. I will do whatever is necessary, sweet girl." Kissing her hair, I pulled her in tighter, needing her touch to gather my courage for what I had to do next.

**~*~*~**

The family was assembled at the dining room table, which we tended to utilize for meetings. Something was different, though. As I stepped into the room, I saw that the head of the table, where Carlisle usually was stationed, was left vacant.

At my confused look, Carlisle spoke, "Son, I understand from Alice that this is a discussion of the utmost seriousness. That it is intensely personal for you, and Bella, and will require action on the part of this family. Whatever it is—it was serious enough to call for a meeting on our turf with some of the wolves. In light of all this, I felt that you should be seated at the head of the table today."

"Thank you, Carlisle," I muttered hoarsely as I took my place at the table.

As I sat down, Esme was to my right, Carlisle to my left, Emmett and Rose to Carlisle's left and Jasper to Esme's right. Alice remained upstairs with Bella, but I knew she could clearly hear what was being discussed. Unsure how to begin, not wanting to break down in front of my family, I swallowed thickly. Esme, ever intuitive, put her hand over mine in a show of support. "Take your time, Edward. Whatever it is, you know we are behind you and Bella."

"Thank you, Esme," I answered, staring down at the wood grain of the table, the swirling patterns running one into the other, intertwining and intersecting. And wasn't that how life was in a way? Certain lives, decisions, events...intertwined, intersected, influencing the swirls in the grain of life. If there was a God above us, I wondered what they saw as they looked down upon their people. What did the lines of fate look like? Were they much like the patterns in the grain of wood on this very table? Shaking my head a little, I looked up at my family.

"Jasper? Would you be so kind as to send some calming vibes? This is going to be difficult—and I imagine it will be doubly hard for you to deal with the emotions that are coming. Perhaps keeping things as calm as possible from the beginning..." I drifted off. I didn't know if it was possible to make this any better, to lighten the burden of what I was about to dump on my family. But I knew that they would be behind us one hundred percent—I knew they would be affronted if I didn't share this and allow them to grieve and help, each in their own way.

Jasper's cool exterior belied what was inside him right now. His insides were churning already, but he hid it well. _I'll do anything for you guys, you know that, Edward. I know this is bad, I can feel it. But you are supported, never doubt that. _I nodded imperceptibly, acknowledging his thoughts. Jasper pushed his blond curls back from his forehead as a wave of calm enveloped the room and the tension ebbed away, everyone visibly relaxing.

As I prepared to tell them the news, I stood. This wasn't something that I intended to say sitting down, I felt it _needed_ to be said while I was on my feet, before my support system. My jaw flexed as I clamped my teeth down on the words that needed to flow forth and I looked up at the ceiling, towards where I knew Bella was safely ensconced in my room upstairs with Alice. This was for her—everything was for her.

"I have something very difficult to discuss with all of you. This is really Bella's story to tell, but she has asked me to speak on her behalf. The one request she has is that none of you discuss this with her directly, at least for now. Bella realizes that the family needs to know about this and that you would want to support us right now—but she is having a hard time with others knowing." I closed my eyes against the visions of Bella broken and crying, insisting that she didn't want to talk about her pain with others. Who could blame her? I felt another calming wave from Jasper.

"My goodness, Edward. This sounds really serious," Esme whispered.

"It is. Is is." Scrubbing my hand over my face, I didn't know how to begin, and so, I decided to just dive in. "Please, whatever I say, just let me finish it before you ask questions. At first, it won't make sense. Yesterday, after Alice and Bella returned from their shopping trip, the door opened and I came into the bedroom. Alice left to give us privacy. Bella was putting away some lingerie she bought for the honeymoon and I grabbed a piece of it and handed it to her to try on— "

Rosalie snorted. _Wow, I wasn't expecting THAT._ She thought to herself and I glared at her.

Emmett poked her with his elbow. "C'mon, Rosie!" Rosalie crossed her arms and huffed a bit, but remained quiet.

"As I was _saying_...I gave it to Bella to try on and when she came out of the bathroom, I was waiting for her on the bed. Things got...hot and heavy, going much further than usual—which caused Bella to become suspicious and question me. That's when she found out that _I _was not _me _at all, but a shapeshifter posing as me."

There was a collective gasp from everyone—even Rose.

"At this point, Bella knew it wasn't me that had her pinned down and he-he _raped _her." My voice was down to a raspy whisper at this point. I was barely able to get the word past my lips. I felt dirty telling this story—imaging how Bella felt _inside_. I felt sick.

There was a chorus of exclamations and expletives around the table. Emmett stood up and banged his fist down, creating a fissure in the top of the table. Rose hissed. Esme put her hand over her mouth, eyes wide. Carlisle looked grim and angry. Jasper's mouth fell open and he shook his head back and forth as though to deny it could have happened—then he was assaulted by everyone else's outrage and he shot to his feet. "Sorry, sorry, Edward. I have to get out— " his voice was strangled as he sped out the front door and bounded across the river. I heard him let out a primal scream and I shoved my fist in my mouth because—God help me—I wanted to join him. To lose myself in my animal nature, to destroy things, to rip things apart—but I didn't have that luxury. There was one very good and important reason upstairs that kept me tethered to the civilized world right now. For her, I would do anything.

"Who. Did. This." A quiet but powerful voice cut through the room as Rose stood up, grinding her teeth together. My eyes slid to hers and what I saw there made me shiver with anticipation. _This_ was the reaction I was hoping for from Rosalie. Knowing her history, knowing that she had been turned frozen in anger and rage over her own rape.

"Ah, now that makes this even worse. We met with Sam and Jacob last night and they will be helping us to track down the shifter. He was sent, though. Sent specifically to hurt me—to defile my Bella."

Again, there were shocked choruses around the table. I waited a moment, hearing the approach of Jasper's thoughts.

Jasper entered the room, looking paler than normal, eyes haunted. "Sorry, man. I just— "

"It's okay, Jazz." I shook my head. "I was about to tell them the rest of it. As I said, Sam and Jacob will help us to track down the shifter. But someone sent him here to do this. He was given false information about Bella, told that she was a slut, that she slept with vampires and werewolves both. The shifter was asked to do this as-as a_ favor_ to someone." My jaw flexed as anger flooded my body and I hesitated before continuing. "When he realized that Bella was...a virgin...he was horrified. He apologized and told her he was mislead— "

"As though _that_ matters! Disgusting slime." Rose spat, hissing. Emmett put his hand on her back.

I continued, "He told her that he fell in love with a vampire and _she _was the one who had given him the misleading information and asked him to do this _for her_. _For Tanya_."

Rosalie went completely ballistic. She jumped up on the table and screamed at the top of her lungs. It was primal, feral, pain filled and a war cry—all wrapped up in one. Turning to glare down at me she pointed a red lacquered fingernail at my chest. "Edward Cullen, if you even think about _not_ going after that bitch, I will never forgive you! This is not the time to be a milquetoast. Strap it on, buddy. Show me what you're made of. Show Bella what you're made of. You only get one chance at this—don't fuck it up."

There was dead silence during the collective jaw drop throughout the room.

I was elated. Rosalie's reaction was much more than I could have hoped for. "Actually, Rose, I was hoping that you and Emmett would do me the honor of tracking the bitch down for me. You see, I am unable to do that myself because I have promised Bella that I would not leave her right now—she needs me. But I also made a promise to Tanya when I called her on the phone. I promised her that I was going to _tear her apart and burn the pieces,_" I growled.

Rosalie's eyes gleamed as she jumped down off the table, hitting the floor next to me, grabbing me in a hug. Probably the first hug I had ever received from this cold woman I called sister. "I will do whatever you need, Edward. That bitch had it coming already, but now—well, let's just say she will rue the day she was born."

Carlisle lifted a hand, "Don't you think we should talk to the Denali clan first? Be sure?" Ever the Pacifist, looking for the good in everyone.

"Sure, Carlisle, feel free to call Denali." I handed him a phone. "I'm sure they will inform you that Tanya has left for parts unknown without giving solid reason as to why. _Then_ will you believe me? Please, don't ask me to be merciful. Nobody was merciful to _my Bella._ That bitch couldn't stand that I rejected her advances and decided to take away the innocence of the woman I love. So no, there is no chance at all of a peaceful resolution."

"Count me in, bro. Whatever I can do. Rosie and I will hunt her down relentlessly." Emmett, usually so lighthearted, had a hard gleam to his eye. He thought of Bella like a little sister and the thought of someone hurting her was repugnant to him.

"What can I do, Edward?" Jasper asked quietly. _Anything. I will do anything._

"We are going to need to work with the wolves and I will need you for emotional support. Bella might need some of your emotional magic, too. She's handling this so well, but I'm afraid that the walls will crumble and I won't know what to do."

Esme, who had remained quiet throughout the meeting spoke, "Edward, you have our full support. Whatever you feel you need to do—we are behind you. I am appalled at what's been done to you and Bella. If there is anything I can do—and I mean anything, Edward—you let me know." Her eyes glistened with unshed tears, but there was also a hardness there. Esme was made of strong stuff and I knew that she could be fierce when necessary.

"Thank you."

Our heads all whipped around to see Bella standing in the doorway of the room. In all the turmoil, not one of us had noticed her approach. Her eyes were filled with tears and she wrapped her arms around herself. "You are the best family anyone could ever ask for. I love all of you, so much."

"Bella, are you okay, love?"

"Yes. I know now that I will be okay. How could I not with such incredible love and support surrounding me?" Bella came over to me and hugged me tight, pushing her face into my shirt.

"Oh no, Bella. I am the lucky one," I said softly as I hugged her tightly to me.

Alice came into the room and put her hand on Jasper's back. He turned lightning fast and drew her into his arms, holding her tight, bowing his light head against the top of her small dark one. "I need you," he whispered hoarsely.

"I know," Alice crooned. _Edward, is it okay if we head upstairs now? _I nodded. The worst was over and now we had to see how the chips fell.

Picking Bella up in my arms, I carried her back to my room, laying her on the bed. She didn't speak, just looked deeply into my eyes. "Bella...I know I have no right to ask this, but I just need you. Can you hold me?"

Bella smiled, "Yes, Edward, I can hold you. There is nothing I would rather do right now." She dug her fingers into my hair, pulling me closer and I inhaled the unique and beautiful fragrance that was Bella.

There was ugliness past, ugliness coming, but for those moments we just held on tight to our love. We lay for hours, holding each other, caressing each other—and Bella was healing me as much as I was healing her.

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**A/N: So...what do we think of the reactions of the family? I'm thinking Tanya is in a boat load of trouble...**

**The Indie Twific Awards are still in the first round of voting until 3-2-10. Get out there and vote for your favorite stories!  
**


	5. Chapter 5 The Abyss, Dark and Deep

**A/N: Thank you to my readers once again for all the support I have received for this story. There may be times that it moves rather fast and other times that it moves slow.**

**This chapter is coming to you unbeta'd, therefore, the mistakes are all mine! Hehe. I have been harangued by a group of readers (**_**you know who you are**_**) and have decided to take pity on you and post the chapter.**

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**Chapter Five**

**~The Abyss, Dark and Deep~**

**~*~**

_**He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you ~ Friedrich Nietzsche**_

_**~*~**_

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**Jacob's POV**

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Pain cut through me like a knife when I heard what happened to Bella. Bella, she should have been mine. If she was mine, I would have protected her and there would have been no reason for that jealous bitch of a vampire to send someone to defile her. Still...after all of this...Bella clung to Edward. Did her love for him know no bounds? Perhaps what she had been telling me all along was true; she loved him unconditionally and irrevocably, leaving no place for me.

After I raced away from the meeting with the leeches; some of my brothers heard me howling in pain and phased to be with me. When they saw through my mind what happened, they joined me in my howls of anger and pain. I knew they would do whatever necessary to track down the deviant that had done this. Despite my pain and anguish, I was grateful to have such unfailing support from my pack.

Today, days later, I was sitting in the garage where I usually worked on my car. I hadn't touched a thing; my hands were still clean of grease. Hours had passed since I came here, but I was still unable to get myself to do anything. Sighing, I scrubbed my hands over my face roughly. I had to get it together if I was going to be of any help in this situation.

Hearing light footsteps on the concrete of the garage floor, I looked up to see Sam. He looked grim and a shiver ran down my spine. "Jacob."

"Hey, Sam." I inclined my head and eyed him warily.

"We need to talk. Take a walk with me." Sam turned on his heel, walking outside, not waiting to find out if I would follow.

A shiver of dread ran through me as I watched Sam's bare muscled back recede from the garage. I hesitated for a moment, but knew that I couldn't put it off forever. My carefully constructed shell cracked wide open when I found out what happened to Bella and pieces of my armor continued to crumble and fall, leaving me tender and vulnerable underneath.

I followed Sam, walking several feet behind him, lost in my own thoughts, until I found that we were on First Beach. Sam padded straight down to the water, his bare feet making slapping sounds in the wet sand. Finally, I came to stand beside him, shoulder to shoulder. For a while, neither of us spoke. We both squinted against the punishing wind that swept in across the water. Sam sat on his haunches, drawing patterns in the sand and skimming stones into the water, looking thoughtful. He swallowed a couple times, his Adam's Apple bobbing.

"Jacob, I have some news," Sam started quietly. "I know who the shifter is and where he is from."

"Oh my God! Sam, that's great news!" Adrenaline filled my veins as I thought about the things I was going to do to him...how sorry he would be that he hurt my Bella. "Well, what are we doing here? Let's get the rest of the pack together!" I turned towards home, wondering why in the world Sam would have taken me all the way down here to tell me this.

"Jacob."

Turning back, my heart hit the floor. The dead sound of Sam's voice was all I needed to tell me that it was not as simple as just finding out _who_ the shifter was. There was more to this and he brought me down here to break it to me, away from everyone else. Oh, God. What more could I endure? My armor was crumbled at my feet and I was desperately trying to rebuild so I had a chance at returning to my numbed state—but it was not to be.

"Jacob, we have to talk about who he is." Sam continued to look away from me, out to sea. My body shook with fear.

"What is it, Sam? It's really bad, isn't it?" I whispered.

"Yes, Jacob. It's bad. Time to man up. We will deal with this together—remember that."

"Okay. Please, just say it." The tension in my body was becoming unbearable.

"The shifter that raped Bella, was Damon Black."

"Damon Black," I muttered, pacing back and forth in front of the water. I had no idea who the hell Damon Black was—but it was pretty obvious he was _related to me_.

"He is the son of Rafael Black," Sam said so quietly, so apologetically, that I almost didn't hear him.

"_WHAT?!_"

"I'm sorry, man. I wanted to tell you privately," Sam looked sad.

Rafael Black was my father's brother, _my uncle_, a man who had left our tribe as a teenager. Billy never spoke of him; it was obvious that it hurt too much. I didn't know the whole story about why he left. I didn't know he had a son. That made _Damon Black_ my first cousin.

I shook my head. "No."

"I'm sorry."

"How do you know this? Maybe you made a mistake—"

"No mistake, Jacob. Billy confirmed it. He still checks in on his brother, even though they don't speak. He spoke to another cousin, who confirmed that Damon has been...running with vampires, in Alaska. It fits with what Edward told us. Damon often takes the shape of a hawk—he's also missing."

"NO!" I fell to my knees in the spongy, forgiving sand. The waters lapped around my knees like a gentle caress and I hated it, I wanted to hurt something. I leaned over and started banging my fists in the surf. "NO! NO! NO! NO!" Jumping to my feet, I waded into the water throwing my head back and screamed some more. "NO! NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOO—"

I phased.

The howling began in earnest as I stood up on my hind legs and bellowed at the sky, rivulets of water dripping off my red-brown fur.

Sam stood still, watching, supporting in his own way, witness to my agony.

"Jacob, I told the rest of the pack not to phase. You are free to be alone with your thoughts right now—you deserve that time to yourself. I am here, always, brother."

I nodded my gargantuan head in acknowledgment of my brother and then I let loose. I forgot about being human, about anything but my animal nature as I bounded around howling in pain.

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**Bella's POV**

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Broken. Dirty. Unclean. Tainted. Violated. Lost innocence. Used. Empty. Dead inside. Raw. Numb. Angry. Resigned. Scared. Colorless world. Pain. Anguish.

Hope. Love. Want. Need. Desire. Comfort..._Edward._

My mind was a cacophony of feelings, sensations, fears—many of them pulling in opposite directions. Mostly, I wanted to curl up in a ball and just die. I felt dirty all the time—no matter how many baths I took or how many times Edward assured me that he loved me and this didn't change anything for him. How could it not, though? In a few weeks, we were getting married and going on our honeymoon. Edward had agreed that we could try to make love while I was still human. He was supposed to be my first—_my only_. Now, it was forever tainted by the memory of the shapeshifter that took away the only gift I truly had to give to Edward.

At the beginning, I hated the way Edward looked at me, was careful around me, as though I was a piece of glass that might break. On an intellectual level, I understood why—but it still stung. When I brought it to his attention, he tried, he _really tried_ to change it and he was doing a fine job. I knew that this was killing him inside, how tortured he was that he wasn't able to save me. I could just imagine the thoughts that Edward was lambasting himself with. There was nobody I had ever met that could be as self loathing as my Edward. The thought caused a small smile to play about my lips, which were dry and cracked from repeated crying jags.

Pulling the plug, I watched as the water slowly drained out of the tub. It was my third bath today. As soon as I dried myself, I felt dirty again. Looking in the mirror, I saw that my skin was red and raw. Alice had purchased some extra strength moisturizer for my skin and insisted I slather it on several times a day.

Here at the Cullen's, I was being well taken care of. The best food, the best care, I felt safe and loved—but inside, I was empty. I felt like a shell of my former self. I couldn't really _feel._ Food didn't taste good, books I used to love fell flat, movies were boring, nature was dreary and colorless. _Only Edward_ meant anything to me any more. I loved Edward with a passion that knew no bounds. Deep down, I knew that this wouldn't make sense to him, maybe to others either—but it was the truth. I couldn't get _enough_ of Edward. I wanted to crawl inside him and curl up like a kitten. On some level, I was aware it probably wasn't healthy—but damn it, I didn't give a shit.

Edward wanted Emmett and Rose to track down Tanya for him so he could "take care" of her. When he had spoken to her on the phone, he threatened to _tear her apart and burn the pieces_. I was so dead inside that I couldn't muster up much feeling either way—did I want Tanya dead or not? Did I want the shifter dead or not? When I asked myself those questions, as I neared an answer, something in me would clench up and I would hyperventilate. Time. I needed time.

Entering our bedroom—because Edward's room was now mine too, since I refused to be anywhere else—I approached the window, watching as Edward stood in the yard, looking up at me. It was as though he _knew_ I was going to look out at that very moment. I put my hand up to the glass as though reaching for him and he held his hand up, reaching for me in return, a sad smile on his face. His eyes though...they were the hardest to deal with. They were so hollow—the eyes of one who has looked into the abyss and found it looking back. I recognized the same look in my own eyes. The abyss had reached inside me and wrenched out an essential part of me and I didn't know if I would ever find it again.

After dressing, I joined Edward outside. Silently, we linked hands and started walking into the woods. This was something we started doing spontaneously over the past days, but was quickly becoming a habit. We would walk, hand in hand, into the woods. Edward never spoke—it was up to me if we talked or not. The walks calmed me and the colors of nature were a bit brighter when his fingers linked with mine. My life seemed to have turned to sepia tones, with the exception of Edward—his presence, his touch—was the only thing that brought color. I couldn't say I understood it and I didn't really care why it was. Did that make me irresponsible? Ask me if I care...I don't.

This time, I just wanted to be quiet and let some of the heaviness seep out of me. For a moment, I was frightened, wondering if Edward was taking it on for me, if I was hurting him. But no, he was just my release valve. I could let much of this darkness leech away while holding the hand of my soul mate. Every second of every day, I thanked God that Edward could be this for me. Imagine how much more broken I would be if I was repelled by him—and it could have easily happened! I'm sure with many women, it _did_ happen; their relationships deflating and falling apart until there was nothing left.

The sun's rays were setting, creating a deep golden glow low in the sky. There was a light breeze blowing, a chill wind coming from the direction of First Beach. As we reached the river's edge, I climbed on Edward's back and he leaped across, landing deftly on the other side. Silently, we continued our stroll through the woods; the rustling of animals running away due to Edward's presence could be heard. I concentrated on the sounds of our feet on the ground, our breaths, the beating of my heart, the gentle swing of our linked hands. It was all very mesmerizing and I could almost forget for a little while.

Leading Edward over to a boulder, I sat down and smiled up at him. "Sit with me, Edward," I invited. With a crooked smile, he sat beside me, careful not to get too close—waiting to be invited. He was an angel. I leaned into him and he put his arm around me, hugging me close. "I love you, Edward."

"Oh, Bella, I love you. You are the most important thing to me, _ever_. I hope you realize that."

"I do. I-I want to tell you something, Edward."

He stiffened at my side, expecting the worst. "What is it?" he whispered, unable to keep a small tremor from his voice.

"I haven't told anyone this and it might sound strange and unnatural. You are the only thing that matters to me any more, Edward. My world has become so...colorless. When I am with you, when I hold your hand—much of the color returns. I feel so empty, like there is a cavernous void inside. But you fill me up. I wish I could climb inside you," I finished in a whisper, pressing my lips against his neck, embarrassment staining my cheeks. I stared down at my feet, afraid to see what was in Edward's eyes after my admission.

"Bella, I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I'm so glad that I can be this for you. Does it sound incredibly selfish if I say _I don't care_ if it's natural? I am so grateful that you allow me to be by your side, that we can take walks together, that you let me hold you as you sleep. God, Bella, I was so afraid you would leave me," his voice broke.

"Never. I will never leave you." I reached up and caressed his sweet face. Edward's eyes fluttered closed and he leaned into my hand, a slight smile tugging at his lips. We sat in companionable silence until it became quite chilly and I decided it was time to return to the house.

Following my silent signals, Edward allowed me to tug him up from the boulder and twined his fingers with mine as we started back toward the house. It might seem like a small thing to some, but this little routine we had gave me back some needed control over my life. Control was something that had become increasingly important to me over the past several days since the attack.

Suddenly, I could hear howls in the distance. They were pained howls, agonized howls. I said the first thing that came to mind, "Jacob."

Stopping still, Edward and I looked at each other.

No other howls joined in with this lone wolf that bellowed, bayed and railed. It sounded like someone had died. A shiver wracked my body.

Edward's phone buzzed.

"Alice?"

Edward listened, his face impassive.

"Oh. What do you think that means?.....Okay....How long?......We'll be right there." Edward looked grim as he hung up the phone.

"Edward? What is it?"

"Alice called to let us know all of our futures disappear in about two hours. I think we can expect a visit from the wolves. By the sounds of it," he gestured towards the howling, "it's going to be...unpleasant. Do you want me to take you somewhere?" Edward eyes met mine earnestly.

"N-no. I need to know what's happening. This is all because of me, so I should be there." Really? I wanted to run as far as I could with Edward, but my sense of obligation towards Jacob wouldn't allow it. Jake loved me, could never have me, was in pain—because of me. I had to be there for his pain, whatever the cause.

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**Edward's POV**

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After our family meeting, Carlisle had called me aside. Entering his study, I took the seat in front of his desk. No mind reading was required to know what he was going to try to accomplish. He wanted to try to facilitate a peaceful resolution. Not. Going. To. Happen.

"I spoke to Carmen and Eleazer," he sighed, clasping his hands behind his head and looking distinctly uncomfortable. _Something isn't right there, but I don't want Edward to go off half cocked._

"Tanya is gone, isn't she?"

"Not just Tanya. All three sisters. Carmen said they had taken a little trip, but she was unsure where they went or when they would be back." _Sounds like a cover story, I have to admit._

I simply sat across the desk from Carlisle, meeting his eyes impassively, hands clasped on my crossed legs. What did he want me to say? I didn't want to be having this conversation. I had the utmost respect for Carlisle, looked up to him like a father figure—but this was Bella we were talking about. _My life. My heart. My mate. Soon to be my wife._ Forgiveness, political correctness—just wasn't in my vocabulary when it came to this.

Carlisle stared back at me for a while, his honey gold eyes probing. "Edward...I know this is difficult, but don't you think..." _that we should try to find a solution without violence?_

"No." The word came out almost in a whisper, but the edges of it were hard. "We are so beyond _solutions without violence, _Carlisle. Now, I have always looked up to you as a father figure and I have immense respect for you—but you need to either support my decisions, or _step aside._" A low growl of warning rumbled in my chest.

Carlisle was, obviously, taken aback. _Edward! I didn't expect such a reaction from you, son._

"Sorry, to disappoint. I'm rather disappointed myself at the moment. So, do we understand each other? Are we done here?" My eyes blazed into his.

He gave a quick nod, sadness in his eyes. I tuned out his mind, because I really didn't want to know. Keeping the peace was great—most of the time, but there was a limit.

**~*~*~**

I never told Bella about the conversation with Carlisle, seeing no reason to get her involved. Bella had enough to carry on her back right now. Elation filled me as she continued to want me near her, allowing me to hold her at night when she slept. Bella refused to sleep anywhere but in my room, which had become _our room_. Once Bella had scolded me for treating her like she was broken, we fell into a pattern where I would wait for her to make the moves. We started taking these walks in the woods every day, often more than once a day—sometimes talking, sometimes not. Whatever we did, was decided by Bella and I was more than happy to be along for the ride. I said nothing about the fact that she took at least three baths or showers per day. Maybe I was giving her space, maybe I was enabling her, I wasn't sure.

I had received a few calls from Emmett and Rose, but so far they had come up empty. They snooped around Denali without making their presence known, so as not to arouse attention and tip off Tanya who was hunting her down. Time, it might take some time, but we had lots of that.

The wedding was in a few weeks, along with the honeymoon. I had promised Bella we would try to make love while she was still human. Not sure how she was going to feel about that now, or even if she still wanted to go ahead with the wedding as planned. Maybe postponing it might be a good idea. Certainly, her transformation should be put off until she dealt with this attack, otherwise she would be entering her new life with a lot of issues—like Rosalie. Not a great way to start out.

I was out in the yard, pacing around, thinking. Bella had decided to take _another_ bath and I wanted to give her privacy. Feeling as though I was being watched, I looked up to see Bella in the window of our room, hand up against the glass. I smiled, reaching my hand back towards her. She was so beautiful, so broken.

When she came outside, we linked hands with unspoken understanding and began our walk. We didn't speak for a time, but then Bella pulled me down onto a boulder, inviting me to sit with her. When she said she had something to tell me, my long dead heart almost restarted and dropped to the ground. Was this it, then? Did she realize that she no longer could stand to look at me?

But no, fate was still on my side, despite being the monster that I was. Bella explained how I was the only one who added color to her world, how she needed me and loved me. I just had to make things right for this fragile human that depended on me so completely. If I messed up, the cost would be great, not just to myself now, but to Bella.

When the howling started—oh, my God, the howling—I knew something big was happening. Bella knew right away it was Jacob and I had a feeling she was right. Then the call came in from Alice, letting me know all our futures were going to disappear in T-minus two hours—a sure sign the wolves were coming to pay a visit. They would not dare to cross the treaty line unless this had to do with the rape. Venom let down and I swallowed it back. The hand that was not holding Bella's, clenched into a tight fist. Did I have anger issues over this? Yes, I did. Unable to show my anger and desperation in front of Bella, I had been stuffing it down inside me. I might as well have been a powder keg and, eventually, someone was going to set me off.

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**A/N: Soooo....thoughts, opinions? Poor Jacob just can't catch a break, huh? I am curious what you think of the conversation with Edward and Carlisle? How about the way Bella is dealing with things?**

**Reviewers get TEASED as always! :-)**


	6. Chapter 6 On Borrowed Time

**A/N: I just wanted to put a warning that parts of this chapter might upset some readers. There is nothing graphic in the chapter, but I felt the warning was in order, and I'm sure you will understand why when you read it.**

**Thanks again to my awesome readers for the incredible public/private support for this story. I have no training or personal experience with rape cases, so this really is a completely fictional tale. Please bear that in mind when reading, but feel free to let me know if there is something you find implausible (other than vampires and shape-shifters, ROFL).**

**Thank you to my beta Jess (jkane180) for her vampire fast beta skills. Randi, darling, Edward is delivering flowers to your house. :-)**

**I would warn you this chapter is going to be really emotional...but then again, every chapter of this angst ridden story has been emotional in its way. (Get your hankies out)**

**Chapter Six**

**~On Borrowed Time~**

**~*Edward's POV*~**

The sounds of the piano seemed to soothe Bella's nerves. We sat on the bench together, and I played her lullaby softly. My hands moved over the keys automatically, so I was able to watch Bella out of the corner of my eye, sitting beside me, eyes closed, leaning her head against my left shoulder. Her respiration was smooth, and her heartbeats even. When Jasper walked by a while before, I received a thumbs up from him, although no accompanying smile.

Jasper was having a tough time with the situation. It was particularly difficult because Bella was living under the same roof, and Jasper was exposed to her emotions in addition to everyone else. Earlier, Jasper had cornered me, warning that my emotional state was abnormal—that it was too empty and quiet within me. I knew he was right, although I didn't admit to anything. Whenever an emotion tried to bubble to the surface, I jammed it back down because I had to be here for Bella. As Jasper walked away, he shook his head, and I picked up a thought from him: _He's on borrowed time._

Bella stroked my arm gently. "Edward? Are you okay? You just tensed up."

How observant of her. Bella didn't miss anything that went on with me. Most of the time, I was reassured by that, but sometimes it made things exceedingly difficult for me. At the moment, I had no desire to explain to her that I was much like a cannon—packed to the gills full of explosives—and a simple spark was all that was needed for me to go off. Day by day, it was becoming harder for me to continue with this act. No, I was _not_ okay. I didn't know if I would ever be okay again. I was trying like hell to be what Bella needed, and I was being eaten alive from the inside. The thoughts, feelings and issues that I was tamping down inside were _corroding me_ from within. It was just a matter of time, as Jasper had concluded.

"I'm fine, my love." I gave Bella the only answer that was acceptable to me, and it was a lie.

"They're here!" Alice called out as she skimmed down the stairs. "Edward, I think it's best if the three of us meet with them. If we add anyone new into the mix, relations might become...strained."

Tension took over, stiffening my fingers, causing discordant notes to tumble from the keys of the piano. Alice was right, but I wished Bella didn't have to be there. "Bella? What do you think?" I asked.

"That sounds right to me. Let's do this," Bella replied, her lips pressed in a tight line.

The three of us walked out to the front of the house and waited. A minute later, Sam and Jacob appeared at the tree line, walking slowly. Jacob's face looked pinched; Sam was obviously worried. When they were close enough for Bella to see them clearly, she drew in a sharp breath. "Jacob!" she cried out. Jealousy reared up in me—an emotion I had no right to feel. Jacob was showing his pain; I hid mine away. Yet another thing for me to ram down my gullet.

As they reached us, Sam spoke softly, "We have news about the shape-shifter. We know who he is."

"This is good news! Why do you both look so somber?" I asked, confused. "Where is the bastard?"

Sam shook his head slowly. "You misunderstand, Edward. We know _who_ he is, but not _where_ he is." Jacob made a strangled sound in his throat and looked down at the ground. Bella gripped my arm tightly, pressing herself against me, her breaths coming fast and shallow.

"Well, who is he?" I asked, exasperated.

_My God, why did it have to be Damon? Why? _Jacob moaned in his mind.

"Who the hell is Damon?" I turned my gaze on Jacob, but his eyes would not meet mine. Bella stroked my arm, feeling the tension building within me. Her body was taught like a bow string, and she seemed close to losing the tenuous grip on her emotions. We were all on a precipice—ready to go over without a safety line.

_Easy, Edward. We're all on edge. _I caught Alice's thought.

"My cousin," Jacob whispered and then blurted out, "God, Bella! I'm so sorry! It was _my cousin_ that did this to you." Tears streaked his face, and he fell to his knees. I wanted to hurt him for showing emotions that I could not. What I wouldn't give for the freedom to just let go!

"Your cousin? Is he from the Reservation? Are you sure about this, Jacob?" I fired questions at him.

"Edward, stop!" Bella cried out and ran over to Jacob, framing his face with her hands. "Jacob, please don't blame yourself. You can't be held responsible for what _he_ did. You didn't know." He looked so pathetic, crying on his knees, with Bella standing there holding his face—and yet, as his hands came up to caress hers, I couldn't restrain the low growl that built in my chest.

_Edward, she's just comforting him. There's no reason to be jealous. _Alice's thoughts broke in. She was right...and she was wrong. I knew that Bella was only comforting him, but my jealousy stemmed from my own inability to release my anguish. _I _wanted to be the one on my knees, crying, with Bella holding my face in her warm hands.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. I'm going to kill him; I promise. When we find him—he's as good as dead." Steel laced Jacob's tone as spoke through clenched teeth. "No mercy for him."

"I-I don't know, Jacob. I don't know if I _want_ you to kill in my name," Bella whispered, paling. She dropped her hands from his face, stepping back as though burned. Turning towards me, she took her place back at my side and stroked my arm, which seemed to sooth her.

Jacob stood then, drawing up to his full height, eyes flashing. "Think of it however you need to, Bella. This...this..._abomination_ has dishonored my family. It wasn't just you he hurt. I won't be killing in your name." He looked up at the night sky, sighing deeply.

Sam put his hand on Jacob's arm. "Jake, maybe you shouldn't do this right now."

Jacob pulled away from Sam, glaring at him. He looked back to me and Bella and said, "Damon _Black_ is my first cousin. He is the son of my father's estranged brother. When they were teenagers, Rafael left and took off on his own. They joined up with some other rogue Quileutes and formed a small tribe. My father kept track of him, although they haven't spoken since. They've been living in Alaska, and some of them consort with _vampires._" Jacob spit this last part out, as though trying to rid himself of a bad taste in his mouth.

"They're consorting with vampires? Why?" Alice asked, confused.

"Apparently, the hatred of vampires in the smaller tribe doesn't run as deeply as in ours. We don't have all the answers—they must have found _something_ of mutual benefit. But _Damon_ fell for Tanya, and apparently, she used him for her own disgusting purposes," Jacob growled. "I want a piece of her, too—that filthy bloodsucking leech!"

Bella gasped under the weight of the pure hatred rolling off Jacob, placing a hand over her mouth, and her body started to shake. I suppressed my own territorial growl (Jacob wanted to be the one to punish _Tanya_ as well as Damon?) in lieu of supporting Bella's body as it folded. I caught her neatly in my arms, crushing her to my chest. She started to sob, and I wondered how we were going to get through this in one piece. "Shh, Bella. I've got you," I whispered into her hair.

"It hurts...it hurts," she keened into my chest, trying to burrow deeper into me.

"Everything's going to be okay. I promise. No matter what I have to do—I will make everything okay for you."

Bella snugged in even closer, if that was possible. "I know you will, Edward. That's the only thing I _do_ know right now," Bella whispered. Her words were both a balm and a source of fear for me—a balm because it felt good to know she had so much faith in me; a source of fear because I was taking the responsibility to fix this firmly upon my shoulders. If I screwed up, it wouldn't just be me I was hurting; the potential was there to destroy the love of my life.

Alice stepped forward. "Why don't you take Bella upstairs, Edward? I think she's had enough, don't you?"

"Yes, she has. Sam, Jacob—is there anything else we need to know?" I asked as I continued to stroke Bella's hair. Her heart rate was slowing, and her sobs reduced to occasional hiccups.

Sam nodded. "Jacob and I are heading to Alaska. I don't expect that Damon would be stupid enough to go back there, but we need to speak to others who might be able to shed light on his personal habits. It's somewhere to start, anyway."

Nodding thoughtfully, I contemplated letting them know what Rosalie and Emmett were up to. Turning to Alice, I spoke so quickly they couldn't hear me, my lips barely moving. "Should we tell them about Rose and Em?"

_Yes, Edward. If we are going to work together, we should share information. _

"Sam, I need to let you know something. Rosalie and Emmett are already out hunting down Tanya. I promised Bella I wouldn't leave her, so they are doing the footwork for me." I felt Bella stiffen against me. She knew Rosalie and Emmett were gone, but she hadn't questioned where they were. Ignorance was bliss sometimes. "I'll give you Emmett's cell number, so you'll be able to reach them and share information."

"Appreciate it, Edward." Sam nodded, taking out his phone to program in the number.

Jacob paced back and forth like a caged animal, and I could smell the adrenaline releasing into his bloodstream. Finally, he stopped right before me. "Bella?" he called out tentatively.

Bella lifted her head but remained firmly attached to me. "Yes, Jacob?" Her voice was so small, so strained.

"I'm sorry if I made things worse for you," Jacob said softly. "I...care about you. I will _always_ care for you. When I heard what happened to you I went ballistic, and when I found out it was Damon I was devastated. I don't expect you to understand, but it feels like somehow I was involved in hurting someone I love."

Bella nodded. "Thank you for explaining, Jacob. I just want you to know, that I don't blame you at all. Please be careful when you go to Alaska—both of you." Without letting go of her hold on me, she reached out a hand to Jacob, which he enclosed in one of his huge ones.

"Good luck, guys!" Alice offered her hand. Sam and Jacob both shook it.

_Now you, Edward! _Alice encouraged.

"Sam, Jacob. Thank you for everything. Thank you for going out to search when I can't and for working with us. We really appreciate it." I could feel a poke in my back—Alice's finger. "_I_ really appreciate it." Sticking my hand out, I shook with them both.

"We'll be in touch, Edward."

And then they were gone.

**~*Damon's POV*~**

Tanya.

Her name used to do delicious things to my insides. After the recent events in Forks? I wanted to flay her. I wanted to rip her to shreds for being such a _lying, traitorous bitch_.

Not only did she mislead me in the mission she sent me on—no, that wasn't enough!–she also sold my ass straight down the river. It really isn't helpful to rape the woman that your _first cousin_ is in love with—but lost because she preferred the affections of a vampire. When said woman is a _virgin_ (although _I _was told she was a slut) it's even worse.

Yes, I know others are judging me and demanding hotly—_What does it matter if she was a virgin or a slut? You're a vile, disgusting creature either way._

What. Ever. Fucking do-gooders. So easy to judge from on high. But how about when you're broken...and you know it? What happens when you know you aren't good enough to be loved or wanted?

Then one day some beautiful, delectable creature treats you like you are the Second Coming. Forget the fact that she's a bloodsucker, and think about the fact that she wants you...badly. She trails her perfectly manicured nails down your bare arm (while in _your_ mind, you picture them raking across your back in a moment of passion) and compliments your 'incredible musculature' (her wording). This same creature shares a hurt with you that runs so deep; she feels broken—as though she will never find love again. _My God,_ you might think, _she's the female version of me_. And so it begins...so it begins...the downward spiral. Once it has a hold of you, the sheer force of its twists and turns keep you firmly ensconced within.

It's easy to stand above, looking down, and rake someone else over the coals. What's much harder is to be submerged in the maelstrom and still be able to see clearly. The lines we cross are often blurred...heavily. Inch by inch...act by act...favor by favor...desire versus right and wrong. Fear of loss will often spur one to do drastic acts.

A heroine addict will do anything to secure his next fix. Anything. Threaten, cajole, offer someone a blow job, rob a corner store, steal from family and friends..._anything_. Tanya was my H. For the first time, I felt wanted, needed—loved. When I found Tanya sobbing one day, she told me a story. Little did I know it was more of a fairy tale that she made up to trick me into doing her bidding.

_Flying into the field where I usually found Tanya in the afternoons, I heard sobbing. Transforming into my human form, I sprinted to the source of the crying and found Tanya curled into a ball in a copse of trees. "Tanya? What's wrong?" I knelt down, wrapping my arms around her hunched shoulders—ignoring the pile of warm clothes she'd brought for me._

_Vampires could not cry actual tears, but her sobs were painful to listen to. It might have been worse than a woman who could cry real tears. Eventually her sobs slowed, shoulders no longer shaking, and she looked up at me tentatively. "I'm so sorry, Damon. I didn't mean to do this."_

"_No, Tanya, that's okay. Please tell me what's wrong. I'm here for you," I whispered, hugging her to me. Slowly she released from the tight knot she was in and allowed me to hold her._

"_Stupid vampire thinks he can abuse me and toss me aside," Tanya muttered, tossing her strawberry blond hair over one shoulder._

"_What are you talking about?"_

"_Edward Cullen. He's the one I loved—the one that broke my heart. He used me as a toy, and now he's taken up with a human. Bella is a tramp; she sleeps around with the Quileutes over there on the Reservation, and now she has decided she wants Edward, too. More than once, they have almost gone to war because of her."_

"_Wait—the Quileutes in La Push? That's my family! My father and I are estranged from them...but still...they are my blood. Don't they realize that this woman is causing trouble?" I felt anger rising inside me. When would men ever learn that a woman was not a good reason for bloodshed? Relations were strained enough between vampires and shifters—why allow a human to stir things up?_

_Tanya rolled her eyes. "I know, Damon. Male creatures of all kinds are fools."_

"_Why are you crying?"_

"_I got a wedding invitation in the mail...Edward intends to marry Bella. I heard that some of the Quileutes are going to try to stop the wedding and have threatened all-out war. I'm worried I may lose my family down there. If only Edward knew what a slut she was..."_

And so, the slippery slope was expertly greased for my descent. No, what I did would not have been right even if Bella _was_ the slut that Tanya made her out to be. No man ever has a right to force himself on a woman. Ever. I have no defense for what I did—and I know it.

My only excuse—and it's not an acceptable one—is that I loved Tanya, and I was angry that some human was messing with the family that I could never be a part of. How I cursed my father for leaving and denying me access to my family. Then again, if my father had stayed, I might never have been born. There are two schools of thought on whether that would be a good thing or a bad thing. For me, the jury is still out.

After performing the most heinous act of my existence...after finding out what a patsy Tanya had made me into...I transformed into a hawk and flew away. That little pixie vampire had done a job on my left shoulder, but it would be healed before the sun went down.

Being high in the sky, up above civilization, was like heaven to me. The only sound was of the air whooshing past my head. When I unfurled my majestic wings, catching an updraft, I could glide for a long time without twitching a muscle. The sense of freedom was amazing and addictive. There were times I would spend days as a hawk, although I did not really enjoy the diet of one. Yuck.

As I flew away from Forks, I passed by La Push out of curiosity. My efforts were rewarded as I went by some cliffs and saw some Quileutes cliff-diving. They were hooting and hollering—having a grand time. I was missing out on that camaraderie and feeling of belonging—my father had seen to that. As I took off out to sea, I screeched in pain and loss: over my physical injuries, over Tanya's betrayal, over my father's stubborn stupidity, over the loss of my rightful place amongst the Quileutes of La Push, and most of all over the loss of my innocence and ability to love and trust.

Where could I go now? Word would soon reach Alaska, and I would be a hunted man. My only satisfaction lay in the fact that Tanya would also be running. I told Bella who sent me, and I was fairly sure she would be spilling that information to her precious Edward. If she was as innocent as it now appeared she was, Edward was going to go _ballistic_.

After a few days of thinking, I figured that I needed information. I decided to turn myself into a little Starling. Nobody would ever expect _me_ to show up as a weak little Starling. Waiting until nightfall, I flew to the open window of the Shaman, Eliza.

Perching on the sill, I could see her inside the hut, sitting cross-legged with her back to me. There were candles lit all around her, and I could hear her chanting quietly. A moment after I landed, her chants ceased, and she held out her left arm. "Come to me, Damon."

How the hell did she know I was here?

Without turning around, she spoke again, "Come, little Starling. To my hand." I hesitated, knowing she could crush me easily or that someone might be hiding nearby. "I am alone, Damon. I would never hurt you; surely you know better than to worry over that?"

Eliza and I did not speak often. To be honest, she freaked me the hell out—just like she was doing! How did she know I would come as a Starling? How did she know I would come to her at all?

Decided, I fluttered gently over and landed in her palm—a gesture of trust.

"Thank you, Damon. I know that was hard for you," Eliza said softly as she held me in front of her eyes.

Her beauty was intoxicating. Many people thought of old women when they heard the term Shaman—but Eliza was in her early thirties. She had long, black curly hair and blue-gray eyes that were always lined in kohl. She tended to be somewhat of a loner, because people tended to be afraid to get close to someone who knew things the way she did. Her gifts were in demand, but they made her a freak. I felt kinship of a sort to this woman.

"Nobody will be up here tonight, Damon. You can transform, so we can talk." Gently, she put me down on the floor, and a few minutes later, I was sitting on her couch with a cup of tea. Music played softly in the background. For the first time in days, I took full breaths and felt the tension melt from my body.

"Thank you, Shaman."

"Ach! Call me Eliza, huh?" She waved her hand at me.

"Eliza," I acknowledged.

"You are in a world of trouble, Damon." Her blue-gray wolf eyes met mine.

"Yes. Aren't you afraid of me? You are aware of what I've done?"

"Yes, I know what you did. No, I am not afraid of you. I am not here to sit in judgment. For what it's worth, I know you would never do anything like that again." Eliza walked around the circular room lighting candles; the gold accents on her colorful silk garment caught the light, drawing my eye. The whole atmosphere felt so calm and serene here—something I have never truly experienced.

"How would _you know_ I will never do that again?" I growled harshly.

"Ah, Damon, please don't get your feathers ruffled. I am what I am. They call me Shaman here; some would call me psychic. These are just labels, and I prefer not to be boxed in. You need my assistance, and I am willing to give it to you."

"The price?" I asked gruffly.

Eliza sighed. "You are going to make things difficult for me, aren't you? We have a lot to talk about and not much time to do it, Damon. You have a debt to pay to Bella. You need her forgiveness; you will have to beg on your knees to get it. Before this is over, you may die."

"I appreciate your honesty, Eliza. I'm ready to hear you."

"Good. Let's see if we can balance the scales."

**~*Bella's POV*~**

BANG!

BANG!

What the hell? Groggily, I rubbed at my eyes and yawned. Glancing at the wall of glass beside the bed, I saw darkness. The clock on the nightstand read 3:43.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

"Edward, what's that sound?" I mumbled, turning over. Edward's side of the bed was empty. I sat up quickly in a panic. "Edward?"

BANG!

The door to the bedroom opened a moment later, and Alice entered. She had a strange look on her face. "Hey, Bella. Are you okay?"

"Where's Edward?"

BANG!

Alice looked apologetic. "Um, down at the cottage."

"What the hell is all that banging?"

"Edward."

"What?"

"Bella, honey, Edward kind of snapped. He's been trying so hard to be strong for you, and he's been denying his own issues about the rape." Alice walked over slowly and perched on the side of the bed, taking my hand.

BANG! BANG!

My eyes grew wide. Had I been so blind I didn't notice that Edward was in pain? Apparently, so. "But what's he doing, Alice?" I whispered.

"He's destroying the cottage. I'm sorry, Bella. He just couldn't bear the thought of the two of you living there after what happened. I think he needed an outlet for all the pent up emotions, and he decided to let it out this way."

BANG!

"Take me to him," I said, determined.

"What? No." Alice shook her head.

"Yes. You can take me, or I will go on my own. I have to be there for Edward. Don't you understand?"

Alice sighed. "Why do I think I am going to regret this? Bella, you have to promise to be careful. Edward is in quite a state right now."

"Sure, sure. Let's go!"

I threw on a silky robe over my nightgown, unwilling to waste time getting dressed. Alice and I went downstairs, and Jasper met us by the door. "Bella, do you want me to come with you?"

"No thank you, Jasper. Edward and I need to work this out alone."

"Are you sure that's wise?" Jasper asked carefully.

"No, but I know it's what we need to do."

BANG! BANG!

Alice made sure I was secured to her back and then took off towards the cottage. I held on tight, keeping my eyes closed, as we flew through the woods. As we got closer, the sound of destruction grew louder.

When the cottage—or rather, what was left of it—came into view, I gasped. I was able to see straight through to the back garden, since many of the walls were destroyed. Tears filled my eyes as I saw Edward punching the walls and throwing chunks of stone. Guttural noises were issuing from his throat with each strike. He was so intent on his task that he didn't sense us there.

Stepping forward, I called out to him, "Edward."

His head whipped toward me, eyes wild. "Bella? What are you doing here? Alice, what were you thinking?"

"Alice was thinking that I threatened to come down here on my own if she didn't bring me," I stated tersely. "Alice, you can go now. I need to be alone with Edward."

"Bella, are you sure that's wise?"

"Alice, go! Please."

After Alice left, Edward and I stared at each other from a few yards away. Edward was standing amid the rubble of our cottage, looking as beautiful as ever. Something in his eyes was wrong though. As I drew closer, I realized that he'd let his emotions have free reign while he was destroying the cottage. I wanted to kick myself when I realized just how flat and emotionless Edward had been recently.

"Oh, Edward." My heart hurt for him.

"Bella, you shouldn't have come here." His jaw clenched as he stood rigid—an angel in the ruins.

"Why is that, Edward?" I asked, walking closer.

He stiffened. "I'm not in control, right now. Please, just go back to the house. I'll call Alice to come get you."

"No."

"Bella," Edward growled. "Why are you pushing this?"

"Because I realized that you've been so busy supporting me that you forgot about yourself—that _I_ forgot about you. I'm so ashamed. We have to work through this together, Edward. You've been here for me; now let me be here for you."

Edward was over to me before I could blink, his hands on my arms, and I gasped in surprise. He looked down at me, and the raw need in his eyes took my breath away. "Edward..."

"Bella," he cried out in desperation, and then his mouth crashed down on mine. Gone was the carefully controlled Edward who always held back. With a moan, he plunged his tongue into my mouth, swirling it against mine. My body responded, heat pooling in my abdomen, and I grabbed at him just as urgently.

We pushed and pulled at each other, unable to get enough. I jammed my fingers in Edward's hair and dragged his face toward mine so hard that if he had been human it surely would have been painful. This elicited a strangled growl from Edward, and he trailed open mouthed kisses down my neck, his breathing coming in ragged gasps. His cool tongue flicked at my pulse point, and then he started to nip his way over my collar bone and between my breasts. "Oh, Edward..." I moaned, my body going limp. I was unable to hold myself up against the feelings running through me any longer.

As I collapsed, Edward scooped me up into his arms and sat down on the ground with me in his lap. Gently, he tilted my head back to look at me, and his eyes were dark with desire. "Are you okay, Love?" he whispered huskily. I nodded, not wanting him to restrain himself the way he usually did. "I'm so glad, Bella. I've been so afraid to touch you; I've been pushing all my feelings down inside, and I-I just can't anymore. I need you, Bella." The raw need in his words set my heart on fire. Edward never let his feelings out like this; he was always so controlled.

Gripping his face in my hands, I brought his lips back to mine. "I love you, Edward. I _want_ you to touch me; I've been hoping you would—you just have no idea how much," I whispered breathlessly.

With a growl, Edward flipped our position so I was on the soft grass with him suspended above me. He brushed his lips against mine. "Are you sure this is okay, Bella? No flashbacks?" he whispered.

"No flashbacks."

Edward's lips came back down to mine in gentle kisses that quickly grew more heated as he thrust his tongue back into my waiting mouth. The feeling of his body over mine was comforting, and I felt safe—in no way did it feel threatening—but he continued to make sure that I was okay with what was happening.

"Edward, I want you," I whispered in his ear.

A strangled sound issued from Edward's throat, and then I found myself lying alone on the ground.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, I may have to duck and cover after presenting Damon's POV in that chapter. I didn't start out with the intention of allowing him to speak at all...but you know what happens with my stories. I hope I didn't upset anyone, but I felt we needed to know what was going through his head. I would appreciate hearing your thoughts on this, since I also feel we need Tanya's POV at some point.**

**As always, reviewers get TEASED!**


	7. Chapter 7 Tearing Down and Rebuilding

**A/N: This chapter is Rated M. A warning for anyone who might be triggered by discussion of Bella's rape, there will be flashbacks in this chapter.**

**As always, thank you to my awesome readers for their incredible support, reviews and PMs. You guys ROCK!**

**Thanks to my beta Jess (jkane180) who got this chapter back to me in record time. Do you ever sleep, girlfriend?**

**Oh...HANKY ALERT.**

**Chapter Seven**

**~Tearing Down and Rebuilding~**

_**Previously**_

_With a growl, Edward flipped our position so I was on the soft grass with him suspended above me. He brushed his lips against mine. "Are you sure this is okay, Bella? No flashbacks?" he whispered._

_"No flashbacks."_

_Edward's lips came back down to mine in gentle kisses that quickly grew more heated as he thrust his tongue back into my waiting mouth. The feeling of his body over mine was comforting, and I felt safe—in no way did it feel threatening—but he continued to make sure that I was okay with what was happening._

_"Edward, I want you," I whispered in his ear._

_A strangled sound issued from Edward's throat, and then I found myself lying alone on the ground._

**~*Edward's POV*~**

After meeting with Sam and Jacob and finding out they were leaving for Alaska, after being forced to watch Jacob let his pain out while _my_ _Bella_ comforted him, after stuffing so many conflicting emotions down inside me since the rape—I snapped. I didn't know vampires were prone to psychotic episodes, but I was definitely experiencing one.

Bella was exhausted after the meeting with the wolves. She didn't want to go for our usual walk—she didn't feel like talking—she just stared listlessly at a book in her lap that had been open to the same page for hours.

Much earlier than usual, Bella got ready for bed. As was our nightly ritual, I got into bed with her and held her as she fell asleep. Bella had always had a tendency to talk in her slumber, but since the rape it was so much worse. Sometimes, she would softly call out my name the way she used to. More often than not, recently, her heart rate would elevate, and she would start to say disturbing things. Although Bella told me the basics of what happened, she refused to give details about the rape. For better or worse, when she slept at night, her subconscious didn't have the same inhibitions.

Tonight it was bad. The phrases started falling from her lips and continued for a time. Each one was like waving a hot poker around my insides.

_"Wh-what are you doing?" _

_"Edward...what are we doing?" _Bella's voice sounded uncertain, and I think this was the point where she'd realized something was wrong.

_"Edward! You haven't said two words to me since you got home. You bust in here, want me to try on this teddy and then proceed to break all of _your _rules about intimacy. What's going on here? Who are you, and what have you done with _my _Edward?" _These words cut through me like a knife every time. Here she was, believing this was _me_, trusting herself to _me—_and she was on the precipice of finding out the truth of who was _really_ looming above her. I involuntarily hugged Bella closer, knowing what was coming next—what I have heard almost every night.

_"P-please...who are you? What do you want?" _I gritted my teeth in anticipation of the part that always hurt me the most.

_"H-how did you l-look like Edward?" _Whenever Bella says this, her voice sounds so bereft and betrayed. I know she doesn't blame me for the rape—but _I _blame me. If the shifter looked like _any other man_, he never would have gotten close enough to Bella to commit such a heinous act.

Usually, the talking ends there. Bella thrashes around a bit, but my firm embrace seems to calm her. Tonight it didn't work. Bella kept talking long after I had taken all I could stand.

_"Please, let me go." _Bella's whisper cut through me; she sounded so lost and alone.

_"Promised by who?" _Those words had me grinding my teeth together, my jaw tight. _Tanya, you bitch!_

_"Please don't kill me." _Did he threaten to _kill_ Bella? The tenuous grasp on my sanity started to come unglued.

The mewling, pleading noises she made then nearly had me doubled over, but I needed to hold on and ride it out with her. I scrunched my eyes closed, as though it would make it any easier to bear—it didn't.

And still, the nightmare wasn't over.

_"A-Alice, he hurt me. I feel so dirty. Please can you get me into the bath? Please?"_ Bella's voice was so plaintive, small, lost. Another chink in my armor cracked, and my body started to shudder with the effort it took to keep the sobs that were begging to cross my lips contained.

_"Does...does Edward know something is wrong?"_ Bella's voice was filled with fear, and then it got much worse with her next words. _"NO! I don't want him to s-see me like this! Please, Alice!"_

My body continued to shudder and quake as I tried to suppress the sobs that were pushing their way to the surface. If Bella wasn't trapped in her own private hell already, she probably would have woken up. Her dream had gone so much farther than it ever had before—hearing all of this was ripping me up inside.

_"Please, I need a bath! I just need to get him off me!" _Bella started clawing at her skin. I grabbed her hands to still them, hoping this would not make her feel too restricted and cause more of a flashback than she was already experiencing in the dream. She calmed fairly soon after that, her heart regulating, and respiration going back to normal.

My body continued to shudder, and then the sobbing started. I couldn't hold it back as the words that had just fallen from Bella's lips echoed through my mind ceaselessly. I got off the bed—so my quaking wouldn't wake Bella, who was now very calm and peaceful—and jammed my fist in my mouth to try and stem the sounds that were issuing from me.

Bella's dream was over, but my nightmare continued on. The words I had just heard kept ricocheting around in my head. Due to the fact that I had no memories attached to the words, as Bella had, my imagination was free to come up with many different scenarios that depicted in graphic detail how my love was violated.

How I had failed her by being late from the hospital benefit.

How I had failed her by underestimating Tanya's vitriol towards me for my rejection of her.

How my very _face_ had failed her—the face I could barely stand to look at in the mirror any longer.

How this was my fault, even if Bella didn't believe it to be so.

My fault.

_My fucking fault!_

I stood there, tearing at my hair, breathing heavily. Looking around wildly, I sought out some way to purge this poison that was swilling around inside me. At the very moment I thought I could take no more, and was sure that I was going to die a second time, Alice walked through the door.

_Edward, you need to get out of this room—now. You're out of control, and I'm afraid that you will end up hurting Bella if you don't do something about this._

Helplessly, I looked over at my sister—knowing she was right but unsure of what to do. For some reason I was unaware of, Alice's thoughts turned to the day of the rape, when she found the shape-shifter in the bedroom of our cottage with Bella.

It was the absolute last straw for me.

The last vestiges of my sanity unraveled.

I went completely bonkers.

Rushing past Alice, my feet barely skimmed the stairs as I flew out the front door and made a beeline for the cottage. Suddenly, the cottage seemed to be an enemy—its very essence a source of pain and disgust.

How could Bella and I live there together..._share a bed there_...after what happened? I wasn't sure how Bella would be able to stand it, but I was pretty sure _I _wouldn't be able to live life there as though nothing had ever happened. And so, that's how I came to let my frustrations out on the little cottage in the woods.

With every bit of stone I pulverized into powder, with every bit of wood that splintered, with every crash, bang and slam...I felt some of the poison within me releasing. No, nothing in the outer world had changed, but I was changing _inside_ by letting go of all the rage, anger, hatred, fear and guilt that had been eating away at me. My instinctual nature was very close to the surface now—something I rarely allowed myself these days. Even hunting had become a very careful and constrained affair. I had bound myself up so tight that I was unsure what would happen if I let go.

It was as the satisfaction of pulverizing wood and stone had set into a steady rhythm, my animal nature released, that I heard the voice of my angel. "Edward."

My head snapped toward her, and my eyes must have been crazed. Bella was barefoot, dressed in a short, white nightgown with delicate flowers adorning it, her arms covered by a white silk robe. "Bella? What are you doing here? Alice, what were you thinking?"

Once Bella established that she demanded that Alice bring her to the cottage and convinced Alice to leave us alone, my real fear set in. We stood several yards apart, staring at each other. I knew that all the emotions I was feeling—coupled with my feral animal nature—were visible in my eyes. It felt as though I was frozen to the spot as Bella and I faced off.

She searched my face intently, and then recognition of something dawned in her eyes. "Oh, Edward." Bella's voice came out pained.

"Bella, you shouldn't have come here." I clenched my jaw, trying to reign in The Beast that I had set loose—a beast that was starting to lick his lips at the sight of Bella. _No._ He couldn't be allowed out while Bella was nearby. I desperately tried to stuff him back inside, but he wasn't making it easy for me.

"Why is that, Edward?" Bella asked, coming closer. The Beast sniffed the air and rejoiced. This time, when I tried to push him down, he pushed back—_hard_.

"I'm not in control right now. Please, just go back to the house. I'll call Alice to come get you." I was desperate for Bella to listen to me—my tenuous control of over The Beast was waning as he gained strength, fighting back against me.

"No."

"Bella," I growled. "Why are you pushing this?" My eyes were pleading with her, but she refused to see reason. Bella always pushed well beyond the limits of what was advisable.

"Because I realized that you've been so busy supporting me that you forgot about yourself—that _I_ forgot about you. I'm so ashamed. We have to work through this together, Edward. You've been here for me; now let me be here for you."

To Bella, it would seem that her words spurred me to immediate action, but my vampire mind worked so incredibly fast that a deliberation went on inside me. Her words struck home in a way that nothing else had—not even the release of destroying the cottage. The Beast was slavering to get to her, pulling at the chains that bound him, while I was yanking back in an attempt to keep him restrained. This tug of war ended rather abruptly as Bella's scent wafted over on the breeze.

In a split second I was over to her, my hands on her arms. Bella gasped as she gazed up into my eyes. She must have seen the conflict raging within—myself trying desperately to gain control at the same time The Beast scrabbled to get loose. "Edward..." she breathed, and that was all that was needed for the last strands of my control to shred.

"Bella..." My voice was needy and desperate as I grabbed her—crushing her lips to mine. The Edward that was always so careful and controlled was pushed aside as the primal part of me reared up, demanding that I claim Bella as mine. Without any caution, I thrust my tongue into her mouth, our tongues tangling together desperately.

Bella gripped my hair in her delicate fingers, tugging my face closer to hers with some force. The Beast was pleased by this. Letting out a strangled growl, I fought against my baser nature—the part of me that wanted to lay claim to her...to bite...to drink. The compromise—for now—was a trail of open mouthed kisses down the column of her neck, my breaths coming out in ragged gasps. When I reached her pulse point..._oh, the delectable scent of her blood..._I stroked my tongue against the pulsing beacon. Knowing I was in dangerous territory, I 'bit' my way across Bella's collarbone using only my lips (holding back The Beast as he snarled at me) and then down between her breasts.

"Oh, Edward..." Bella moaned, her body going limp in my arms. I wasn't sure if she'd been dazzled by my vampire nature—which was extremely close to the surface—or if her own emotional state caused her collapse. My concern for her overrode The Beast's desires for the moment, and I scooped her up, sinking to the ground with her cradled in my arms.

Tilting her head back gently, I looked down upon her. "Are you okay, Love?" My whisper was raspy under the strain of my inner struggle, which was still ongoing. At the moment _I_ was winning, but the tides could turn back _his_ way at any time. Bella looked up at me with such blind trust in her eyes and simply nodded. Warmth spread through me, knowing that she trusted me so deeply even after what she'd been through. It was like a dam burst inside me, triggering an outpouring of intense longing, gratitude, desire and relief. "I'm so glad, Bella. I've been so afraid to touch you; I've been pushing all my feelings down inside, and I-I just can't anymore. I need you, Bella." My voice was gravelly and filled with need as my facade of control crumbled just a bit more.

Bella grabbed my face between her hands, pulling it toward her desperately. "I love you, Edward. I _want_ you to touch me; I've been hoping you would—you just have no idea how much," she whispered breathlessly. Her words reached right inside to my very core.

With a low growl, I flipped our position so my body was covering hers in the soft grass. My hips _ached_ to press forward against hers, but I settled for grazing my lips against Bella's soft, warm ones instead. It was heavenly to kiss her, knowing it was what she wanted. "Are you sure this is okay, Bella? No flashbacks?" I whispered. It was important to me that she was comfortable with anything that happened between us.

"No flashbacks," Bella breathed, her eyes full of love and trust. I brought my lips back down to hers, gentle at first, my kisses growing more ardent as I felt her respond beneath me.

The Beast was humming, slowly growing more vociferous—but he was being stealthy, and I didn't realize how close to the surface he was until Bella leaned up to whisper in my ear...

"Edward, I want you."

The Beast rose up as my control snapped. _See?_ he roared. _She wants us! Take her now! Claim her—make her ours!_

NO! I knew this would be the end of me. If I took from Bella in that way—like a slavering animal—I would be no better than the sick fuck that raped her. The Beast argued that she _wanted it_ from me; she had just _invited _me to take her.

With every bit of strength I had left inside me I shot back, retreating into the tree line, leaving Bella lying there on the grass alone, wanting and confused. The Beast snarled at me, hurling threats, insults and expletives. I was so fed up with beasts and monsters—especially ones that threatened the well-being of my Bella. The Beast looked truly shocked as I knocked him on his ass, reared up over him, and rammed my foot in his gullet. '_Never again are you to threaten what is mine, Beast.'_

It became quiet within me. The blood-lust was gone, The Beast was repentant, and I needed to get back to Bella.

"Edward? Where are you?" Bella sounded scared. "I'm sorry."

"No, Bella, you have _nothing_ to be sorry for," I said softly, deeply regretting that I had caused her to feel that way.

In the blink of an eye, I halved the distance between us. Bella was standing up by then, and she looked surprised by my sudden appearance, drawing in a breath, her eyes wide. "Edward, are you okay?"

"Yes, I just needed a little distance. Your words took me by surprise, and I was afraid..." I faltered.

"Afraid of what, Edward?" Bella asked, fear lacing her words. "Is it because I'm...damaged now?" she asked quietly, looking down. I hated seeing her look down, hated her even contemplating that I would consider her damaged. Anger rose up in me toward those who had caused Bella to feel this way.

Closing the distance between us, I cupped her face in my hands. "Bella, I could never see you as damaged. _Never. _You're perfect. It's me that's the problem. When you said you wanted me...I came so close to losing control with you. If I ever hurt you, I would never forgive myself." I brought my lips down to hers, my emotions swirling around me, The Beast locked tightly away.

Bella responded to my kiss, wrapping her arms around my neck and pressing her body against mine. After a moment, she pulled back. "So...you don't think I'm...damaged? You aren't turned off by me?" Her eyes were hooded, and her lower lip trembled just the slightest bit.

"God, no, Bella! You have no idea what you do to me, how hard it is for me to stay in control when I'm near you. I love you." I kissed my way along her jaw line and behind her ear, all traces of blood-lust gone. After the struggle I had just overcome with my inner beast, after realizing that Bella was feeling unwanted—I knew that I would do anything it took to make sure she knew how much I loved and wanted her. There was nothing more important than Bella.

"Oh, Edward, I love you so much. I don't think I would've been able to make it through any of this without you." She dug her fingers into the hair at the nape of my neck, scratching lightly. "Edward, why did you destroy the cottage?"

Oh, that. I supposed the best thing to do was be honest. I sighed deeply. "Bella, I haven't told you this because I didn't want to burden you...but you dream at night and talk in your sleep. You've been doing it almost every night since...it happened. Most of the time, I can deal with it—but tonight, you said so much more than you ever have. I-I just cracked. I couldn't face living in the cottage with you, sharing a bed where he -" I closed my eyes tight, and I wanted to kick myself for bringing up Damon. In a sense, every conversation we had was related to the rape but to bring him up _directly_ seemed worse somehow.

Bella's mouth hung open. "I've been talking about...the rape...in my sleep? Every night? I-I don't remember any dreams at all. My God, what have I said?"

It made me feel better that Bella didn't recall the dreams. It was horrible to lie there listening to her relive the rape over and over, but it was a great comfort to know she didn't remember doing so. "Bella, it doesn't matter. I'm so glad you don't remember the dreams. I've been aching inside, thinking of how horrible it must be for you." I pulled her closer against me, kissing her hair.

"Edward, about what I said...before you moved away from me..." Bella began uncertainly.

"Bella, believe me, I want you," I whispered huskily, my breathing raspy. My body responded to Bella's close proximity, and I tried not to make it obvious. "I've been so afraid to talk about the wedding, and more importantly—the wedding night—for fear that you don't want to marry me anymore but are afraid to say it."

Bella shook her head vehemently. "No! Edward, no! I can't wait to marry you! I wish it was tomorrow, so we could start our new life. My feelings for you have only deepened since this happened. You've been my rock, done everything for me—even to your own detriment, apparently. I haven't talked about the wedding because _I_ was afraid you no longer wanted to marry _me_." A foreign sound erupted from Bella—a giggle.

"Are you giggling, Ms. Swan? Really?" My eyes were wide with disbelief, but inside I was secretly thrilled.

"I'm afraid so, Mr. Cullen. Does this mean the wedding is still on?"

"If you want it to be. Absolutely. There's nothing I want more, Bella." I grew serious again, pulling her against me, and this time I didn't care if she noticed the evidence of my arousal.

By Bella's sudden indrawn breath, I would say she noticed how my body was responding to hers. "I want that, too, Edward. Um, I know how old-fashioned you are, but I also meant what I said earlier..." she whispered against my lips.

Holding her face between my hands, I gazed down at her, the want in my eyes unmistakable. "Are you sure, Bella? I would never want to...if you weren't totally sure. It's a really big step, especially after what happened." I rubbed my thumb over her bottom lip, and with a quiet moan, her eyes slipped closed, and her body leaned into me.

"Oh, I'm sure, Edward. Can we? Will you be able to...handle it?"

Could I handle it? I had tamed The Beast, but would he remain in line? Testing my resolve, I was fairly certain that my inner monster would remain submerged. The next issue was whether or not I should be contemplating making love with Bella after what she'd been through. Yes, Bella said it was what she wanted, but that didn't mean it was the right thing to do, or that she wouldn't rethink it later. The last thing I wanted was for Bella to end up regretting our first time.

"Bella, I can handle anything for you," I whispered. "I just worry that it's too soon; I'm afraid that you'll regret it afterward."

"Edward, I could never regret making love to you." Bella stroked the side of my face and brought her lips to mine. I wasn't sure if it was the high emotions or the realization of how much I wanted her, but Bella dragged her tongue across my bottom lip and then nipped it with her teeth. As if I wasn't hard enough already, my pants tightened in response, and I involuntarily growled low in my throat, pulsing my hips forward slightly. Bella drew in a sharp breath.

"Be careful, Bella..." I rasped breathlessly.

"Why?" she asked, feigning innocence as she sucked my lip into her warm, moist mouth. The woman would be the second death of me!

I pulled back. "Bella, you need to remember what I am. I won't start anything with you unless it's _your choice_, but you need to be sure about what you initiate because once things get going...I don't know that I would be able to stop. This is why I'm hesitant, and I -"

"Shh. You think too much." Bella placed a finger over my lips, looking up at me with those trusting brown doe eyes. "Is it also my choice when my vampire fiancé stops over-thinking things? If you're talking...that means you're not kissing me, Edward."

That was all I needed. A man—a vampire—can only take so much. Bella wanted me, and I sure wanted her. With a possessive growl, I scooped her into my arms and started walking into the woods.

"Edward? Where are we going? I thought -" Bella looked disappointed and insecure.

"Not here, Bella. My first time with you will _not_ be on the ground, like animals, anywhere near the cottage. Let me take you back to _our bed._" My voice was husky with desire. Bella wrapped her arms around my neck and just nodded her ascent.

As I walked us back to the house, my mouth never left Bella the entire time. I kissed her lips, eyes, cheeks, throat—one of the benefits of being a vampire who could multitask without breaking stride. I whispered words of love against her lips and skin as we went, wanting her to understand that I worshiped her, that she was my Goddess.

I took my time walking through the woods, although I still moved at a much-faster-than-human pace. The beginnings of the rising sun could be seen on the horizon; the start of a new day, a new beginning.

**~*Bella's POV*~**

When I found myself alone on the ground, my first thought was that Edward didn't want me. How very sad that after all we'd been through _that_ would be the first thought that went through my mind. Logically, I knew it wasn't true. Edward had proven how much he loved me, over and over again. I knew he would do anything for me, and that included hurting himself in the process.

Hearing Edward's words of love, looking into his eyes, and seeing the evidence right there before me was cathartic. Now I knew that I could never doubt him again. If I needed reassurance that I was with the _real_ Edward—I had only to look into his smoldering Topaz eyes.

As he carried me home to _our bed_, my heart beat raced in anticipation of what might happen. Knowing how old-fashioned Edward was, I tried not to get my hopes up too high, but I wanted nothing more than to be beneath him, being loved by him.

Edward's lips never left me as he walked, murmuring words of love and adoration against my tingling skin. I had never felt safer or more loved than in those moments. Telling him I loved him seemed inadequate to express what I was feeling—there really were no words that could articulate the complex emotions that were flowing through me.

As we reached the front door, I saw it had been left slightly ajar. Edward nudged the door open with his foot, never missing a beat as he smoothly traversed the stairs, heading straight for our room. When we entered, I drew in a breath. There were lit candles adorning the room, soft music was playing in the background, and there was a platter of fruit on a tray next to the bed.

"What the..." I stared around the room, my mouth gaping.

"Alice," Edward replied, his voice filled with wonder and gratefulness.

There was a note next to the tray written in Alice's flowery hand.

_Everyone has gone on an extended hunting trip. Hope you guys can hold down the fort...alone. Call if you need anything. We won't expect to hear from you. :-)_

_Love, Alice_

"So, I have you all to myself, Mr. Cullen. Whatever will we do?"

Edward looked down at me, the hunger in his eyes unmistakable. "Oh, I think we can find something to keep us occupied." Laying me down on the bed, he stretched out beside me, stroking his fingers over me gently. He ran his fingers along my arms, my back, my legs, up my stomach, over my breasts, up my neck and back to my face. "Are you okay, Love?"

"Yes." And I was. His stroking fingers set me on fire, and I felt a growing arousal in response to his touch.

"Bella, you have to tell me what you want, what you're comfortable with. Do you...want to be...on top?" Edward asked awkwardly. "You'll be more in control that way."

"No. I want your body covering mine, Edward."

My words had a profound affect on him. A possessive growl rumbled in his chest, his eyes darkening perceptibly, his breath coming in ragged pants. "Are you sure, Bella?" he whispered against my neck, his tongue darting out to taste my skin.

"Yes. Please, Edward, I want to feel you on top of me."

Another low growl rumbled in Edward's chest. He lifted us up to a sitting position and asked permission to undress me; I nodded. Slowly, he slid the robe off my shoulders, placing tender kisses on my newly exposed skin. He licked a trail over my collarbone, up the side of my neck and whispered in my ear, "You're beautiful, my angel."

Tentatively, I trailed my fingers over Edward's powerful arms, over his cool cheeks and into his riot of bronze hair. When I felt the hem of my nightgown being lifted, my face colored, but I raised my arms, allowing Edward to remove it. For the first time ever, I was naked before this man that I loved with all my heart and soul.

"Lie down, Love," he whispered.

Edward stood beside the bed looking down on me, eyes dark with lust, as he removed his clothes. He did this at a human pace, never breaking eye contact. There were so many unspoken sentiments flowing between us. I knew he was undressing slowly for my benefit, that he was maintaining eye contact so I could see that he was my Edward, showing me that I had the choice tonight where it had been stripped away from me on that awful day. Tears filled my eyes, and I forgot my embarrassment as I lay there naked before him.

Then I was looking at the gloriously naked form of Edward. Oh my, he was beautiful. His body looked as though it had been chiseled from stone with his lean muscled chest, rippling abs, slim hips and...oh boy! My face turned beet red. Edward graced me with his signature crooked smile, and I realized it had been a long time since I'd seen it. I wanted to see it more often.

He crawled up the bed, lying beside me. "Are you alright, Bella? It's still not too late to back out." He nuzzled his nose under my ear, his cool breath against my neck.

"I'm sure, Edward. Do _you_ want to back out?"

He pressed his hardness against my hip. "Hmm...what do you think, Miss Swan?"

And then all awkwardness was gone, and we were just Edward and Bella. I ghosted my hand down his muscled chest slowly, allowing it to dip further down until I could feel his hardness beneath my fingers. Edward hissed in a breath, closing his eyes, but didn't stop me. It was like steel covered in a layer of the softest velvet.

Edward gently rolled me onto my back and rose up over me, claiming my lips with his own. He sucked my bottom lip into his mouth as he pinched one of my nipples between his fingers. The bud tightened in response, and as I moaned into his mouth, I felt his tongue seeking entrance. Our tongues joined together, sending electric shocks right to my center. Edward's kisses were slow and thorough, bringing me to new heights of arousal.

Breaking away, I whimpered, "I want you, Edward. Please make love to me."

His irises were pure onyx as he held himself above me, but there was love in his eyes—the essence of Edward—the monster he was always fighting was far away. "All in good time, my love. I'm going to touch you, okay?" I nodded.

Edward slipped a cool finger inside my folds, finding me already slick with desire for him. Slowly, he pushed his finger inside me, watching me intently for any signs of discomfort. "I'm okay, Edward," I reassured him.

Adding a second finger, Edward pumped in and out slowly, adding his thumb to circle my sensitive nub. Electric shivers shot through my body, heat pooling in my core. Unfamiliar sensations started to build up within me, and I moaned softly. "That's it, Love," he whispered against my mouth. "Come for me, Bella." His words ignited fire in my belly that shot out in every direction. I felt like I was rising off the bed and coming apart at a cellular level, the ecstasy shimmering like gossamer ribbons falling all around me.

"Oh my God, Edward!" I cried out, unable to help myself as I came apart under his gentle touch. Tears leaked out the corners of my eyes, and he kissed them away as my body continued to shudder through my orgasm. When I came down, Edward removed his fingers from me. His eyes, still dark with lust, met mine meaningfully, as he licked my juices from his fingers slowly. I couldn't help but moan, watching him, knowing he brought me to the heights of ecstasy with those very fingers.

"We can stop here, Bella, if it's what you want."

"No, I want you. Please just love me, Edward." There was a pleading tone to my voice. I felt so vulnerable; I wasn't sure I could handle it if Edward turned me down.

"Bella, I don't know how hard it will be for me to stay in control. You need to tell me if I hurt you in any way. Promise me?"

"I promise."

Nudging my legs open, Edward eased himself between them, lining himself up to enter me. He caressed my face reverently, gazing into my eyes. "Are you ready?" I nodded.

Pressing his hips forward gently, he entered me slow and steady. There was a moment of sadness in me when I realized that there was no barrier for him to break through, and a feeling of panic rose up in my chest. I drew in a breath, and Edward stilled immediately, his eyes questioning. "Bella?"

"Please don't stop, Edward."

I lifted my hips, pulling him further into me, and he hissed in response. I let my hands roam over his back, feeling the muscles ripple as he moved. A little bit more and he was fully sheathed within me, and I felt full in the best way. It was such a contrast to my first time, when it felt as though my insides had been scraped raw. Once Edward was fully inside me, he started circling his hips in long, slow thrusts. I could feel the heat curling within me once again, and I was surprised to find another orgasm building.

"Bella, I love you," he whispered, his dark eyes smoldering.

"I love you, too," I sighed into his mouth, as he crushed his lips against mine with a moan.

Edward increased his pace, adjusting the angle of our bodies so he could go deeper, and I could see his control slipping as his own release drew closer. He looked like an angel above me, and I felt completely safe and secure. My fears—that I would have flashbacks or be unable to enjoy making love to Edward—turned out to be unfounded. Butterflies were unleashed within me, fluttering against my insides. I lifted my hips to meet Edward's thrust for thrust as our lovemaking became more instinctual and less careful. I rose higher and higher, layer upon layer of sensation shuddering through me, until I was right there, falling over the edge.

"Oh..." I panted. "Edward, yes!"

As my body quaked and clenched around him, Edward's face contorted, his movements becoming faster and more erratic. With a few final thrusts, I felt his cool seed explode inside me, as he moaned my name. "Bella..."

Afterward, we lay entwined in each other's arms, legs tangled together, kissing languidly. Edward held me tight, whispering words of love against my ear. After a while, he fed me from the tray beside the bed, and no fruit has ever tasted sweeter.

Whether or not sex was 'the answer,' I knew that, after this night together, we were both on the path to healing. As the sun rose, bathing our bodies in a golden glow, we made love again.

**A/N: Okay, so if you've been a reader of my stories for a while, you know that often my chapters come out far different than I plan. This is one of those chapters, LOL. Edward totally hijacked me, and then let Bella take over, while I was tied up in the back room.**

**Hope you enjoyed their antics as much as I did. *Fanning self***

**As always, reviewers get TEASED!**


	8. Chapter 8 Foreshadows

**A/N: I did a little research on the Quileute language (there isn't much info out there) in order to choose the name of the Alaska community. I've also done some research into the meaning of names, so the name meanings in the story are not made up.**

**I do know where this story is going (for the most part), but I have no idea how long it will take to get there. I will just say...as long as it takes me to write it to my satisfaction. I love to hear your opinions and always take them into consideration, so please feel free to keep your thoughts flowing.**

**Mega thanks to my beta Jess (jkane180) for her vampire-fast (I'm not kidding!) beta skills and for all her awesome suggestions...especially when I write late at night and my dyslexia comes out to play...hehe.**

**Chapter Eight**

**~Foreshadows~**

**~*Jacob's POV*~**

When Sam and I arrived in Alaska, I wasn't sure what to expect. I had never been away from La Push before and was a little nervous about meeting the rogue members of my tribe. They lived in their own private community, Qahla-Pititchu, which translates to 'sun-moon' in English. Personally, I think it sounds much more beautiful in Quileute. My curiosity was piqued regarding the name the little tribe chose for their community, and I hoped I would have the chance to inquire about it. We weren't there on a social visit though, and I felt the need to remain aloof. Since this whole situation with Bella started, my carefully structured shell had been cracked and peeled like a hard-boiled egg—leaving me soft, tender and vulnerable underneath. I was desperately scrabbling to rebuild my structure of hardness and numbness because I knew it was needed for the journey ahead.

When we arrived we were brought directly to the home of the tribal leader, Aaron Madison. His dwelling was large, but modest, and welcoming. A slight, Quileute woman greeted us at the door and silently led us into the living room. "Please have a seat; Aaron will be right with you. Can I get you some refreshment?" she asked us in quiet, clipped tones—all the while looking down at the floor, never meeting our eyes.

"No, thank you," I murmured.

"Tea would be great, thanks," Sam answered. The woman nodded her head and disappeared quickly.

I looked around the spacious room, which had a cathedral ceiling, worn but comfortable furniture, an area rug with a Native American motif and many curious art pieces adorning the walls. The art was beautifully crafted, and I suspected it was made by the talented hands of the tribe. The whole atmosphere was welcoming and homey. Part of me really wanted to _like_ these people, and I had to remind myself why I was here.

A short time later, a handsome man in his mid-to-upper thirties entered the room. He was russet-skinned (although not as dark as the guys back home) with jet-black, wavy hair and walked with confidence—but not arrogance. He shook hands with each of us. "Welcome, Jacob...Sam. I'm Aaron."

_Wait, what? _

Sam was as taken aback as I was, but Sam's brain-to-mouth filter wasn't intact. "Oh...I didn't know the Chief had a namesake."

"I don't," Aaron answered, his eyes alight with amusement.

"But...you're..." Sam gaped.

"Young?" Aaron suppressed a smile. "We run things a bit differently around here, Sam. The position of Tribal Leader is decided by the tribe, rather than passed down by bloodline or affected by age. Our people have decided that I'm the best leader for them at this time—perhaps despite, or perhaps partly because of, my age. Being a small tribe, we need to fit into the modern world, or we run the risk of becoming extinct."

Sam nodded his head slowly. "That's very...progressive of your tribe. Do you have a pack leader?"

"No, we don't," Aaron answered, taking our look of surprise in stride. "I believe you're aware that we don't follow the traditional Quileute path around here. Tribe members are allowed to transform into whatever form they wish. It would be difficult to have an Alpha under those circumstances. As one reaches puberty—and may be nearing their transformation time—they're sent on a vision quest to discover their spirit animal. Our theory is that the spirit animal is the form they'll be most comfortable in once they start to phase, but we also teach phasing into different life forms—as it can be enlightening or come in handy in a bind. I think you're aware it can also be abused." Aaron's voice grew rough at the last part, and he cast his eyes down at his clasped hands.

"Fascinating..." I whispered, completely excited by the thought.

"Interesting," Sam said, noncommittal.

"Please allow me to extend my _deepest_ apologies to you on behalf of our tribe. We had no idea that Damon was capable of...such an atrocity. We were aware he was troubled...but we have many young men that hit rough patches. We've _never_ had a situation anything like this one, though." Aaron hesitated as though deciding whether or not to go on before he continued, "Some of our tribe, mostly the younger crowd, have struck up a friendship of sorts with the Denali coven of vampires. There's been a bit of dissension amongst members of the tribe as to how prudent that is."

"I'll say!" I grumbled angrily. "Damon _raped_ the woman I love. He defiled her, took her virginity, and left her feeling dirty and unworthy."

"Jacob..." Sam warned. "Show some respect to Aaron."

"I'm sorry. This has just been so devastating," I apologized, covering my eyes with my hands. Embarrassment filled me as I realized how rude I'd been.

"Forget it, Jacob. It's understandable how you feel. If it were me...I don't know what I would do." Aaron let me off the hook graciously.

"Thank you, Aaron. It's still no excuse for an outburst like that. I was devastated about the rape, but when I found out that Damon is my first cousin...I just..." I broke off, shaking my head.

Aaron put a hand on my forearm. "Jacob? Please don't feel the need to explain yourself any further. Honestly, we want to help in any way we can."

Sam spoke up then, "Where is Rafael Black? Why hasn't he greeted Jacob? He's his uncle after all."

Aaron looked uncomfortable. "Yes, we need to discuss Rafael. Jacob, Rafael is very ill. He hasn't left his home since Damon ran off—in fact, he hasn't spoken a word since. He's in a catatonic state and has to be fed through an IV. I can certainly bring you to visit, but he won't acknowledge your presence. I'm sorry."

"Do you think what Damon did caused Rafael's illness?" I asked.

"Not exactly," Aaron began, his forehead scrunching in consternation. "We're not sure what precipitated it for sure. It occurred as soon as Damon left us, but we didn't get word of the...crime he committed...for weeks afterward. This wasn't the first time Damon left us, either, so it wasn't really out of the ordinary. If we had _any_ idea what was happening, we would have gone after him."

The Quileute woman that had greeted us at the door entered the room laden with a tray of tea and cookies. After placing it on the coffee table, she straightened up and said quietly, "There's no accounting for the bond between a parent and a child. Rafael knew when Damon left that this time was different."

Aaron looked up sharply. "Perhaps you're right, Rosa. I wouldn't know." His eyes slid away, and he looked as though he might have a secret of his own to protect. "Jacob...Sam...this is Rosa, my step-mother and valued adviser."

Rosa nodded to us both, and then took her leave; she seemed to be a woman of few words.

"My father has been gone for over a decade. Rosa lives here with me because she doesn't believe I'd be able to take care of myself." Aaron looked fondly at her retreating form before lowering his voice to a whisper, "She's probably right."

"So, you're an eligible bachelor, Aaron? Don't all the ladies fancy the Tribal Leader?" Sam asked with a smile.

"Ah, well. My heart belongs to one that will not have me." Aaron's face changed completely, and he looked much older than his years.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, Sam. Sometimes the way of our people can be difficult."

"I know _that_ well," Sam growled harshly. "I was engaged to a lovely girl, then I started phasing, and I ended up imprinting on her _cousin."_

Aaron nodded sympathetically but did not offer further insight into his own situation. I found myself intensely curious but knew it would be beyond rude to ask. We settled down to a cup of tea and some of the delicious home-made cookies on the tray, our conversation turning to lighter topics.

**~0~**

After our visit, Aaron had one of the younger boys show us where we would be staying. The log cabin he led us to had a large living area with a fireplace, a full kitchen, and a loft with two queen-sized beds and a wall of windows overlooking a beautiful lake. Again, I wished we were here to visit this extended family—there was something about this place that was tugging hard on me already.

I stood against the windows in the loft, gazing out over the lake, contemplating how my life had become so complicated. Most guys my age were dating, drinking, having fun...I was being burned by the woman I loved, watching her entwine herself around that bloodsucking leech, and hunting down my _first cousin_ who had decided to fall in love with another of those bloodsucking leeches—and then defile Bella for her. In the meantime, I was unloved and unwanted—there were no warm arms waiting to comfort me. The irony of my life was inescapable..._and so not fucking funny._

I could hear the soft murmur of Sam's voice downstairs talking to Emily on his cell phone. Yeah, it sucked that he was suddenly ripped away from Leah, but at least he had found his imprint. Emily was his perfect mate, and they would spend the rest of their lives together. Then there was me—who had turned myself inside out, trying to force myself to imprint on Bella, while she was busy falling for a dead man. Closing my eyes, I pressed my forehead against the cool glass and sighed deeply.

Opening my eyes, I looked out over the beautiful land before me. I might not be in Alaska for pleasure, but that didn't mean I couldn't enjoy the majestic beauty while I _was_ here. The water rippled gently until it lapped at the edges of the lake, giving way to flat, grassy land that eventually swept up into mountain peaks with snow on top. It was my understanding that there could be snow any time of the year here—even in July—but it could also be very mild. I suspected there was always some snow on the top of the mountain ridge. On the far side of the lake there were some colorful flowers growing, their stems waving in the constant breeze. Really, it looked just like some postcards I've seen of Alaska—except it was far more beautiful in person. My heart wrenched again, and I wasn't sure why this place was having such a profound affect on me—but I was uncomfortable about it.

As I was about to join Sam downstairs, a movement down at the lake caught my eye. There was a lone figure sitting on a log by the water, wrapped in a hooded garment, and it was impossible to tell if they were male or female. The figure was so still I'd nearly missed them. Surely they had been sitting there the entire time because I would have seen them walking otherwise. Suddenly, the person's head turned and seemed to be looking right up at me. My heart started to hammer, my breath freezing in my chest, and I felt rooted to the spot.

The figure stood, and I could tell it was either a teenage boy or a young woman by their size—my gut instinct told me it was a female. She remained still, facing my way, for a while longer and then abruptly turned toward the lake. With arms flung out wide, the hooded garment dropped to the ground, and now I could see that it was a female Quileute clad in a skimpy top and skirt that left her arms and legs bare.

Throwing her head back, she seemed to be yelling something, and then her body erupted in mighty tremors. I felt voyeuristic watching what was most likely a private moment, but I couldn't stop myself. I reasoned that she might have known I was up here in the window—but I knew that was highly unlikely considering the distance. As she shook and shimmered, she continued to scream up at the sky, until her body erupted into a frenzy of feathers. Looking around anxiously, I wondered what happened to her. A moment later I saw for myself as a graceful eagle took off out of the miasma of feathers that still rippled through the air.

The eagle caught an updraft, rising higher and higher as she beat her strong wings. She flew out over the lake and then took off for the mountain peaks, eventually becoming a speck in my site. Something shifted in my chest that I couldn't name.

"Jealous?" Sam's voice came from behind me, and I jumped.

"God, Sam! I didn't even hear you coming."

"I know...you were so engrossed in the young lady that transformed into the eagle. Are you jealous? Do you wish we could do that?"

"In a way, yeah. It must be so freeing...to become whatever you desire." That was partially true, but that wasn't what had my chest so tight. I wasn't sure what it was, and I'd rather Sam didn't set his mind to guessing about it—I'd spent enough time under The Pack microscope the past few months.

Sam just grunted.

**~0~**

In the morning, we had an appointment with the tribe Shaman. Sam and I had no idea what a Shaman really was, or what they did, since our tribe didn't have one—yet another difference between our peoples. I found it interesting, but not particularly important, to have this meeting. How could I have known I was about to get educated in a big way?

The young boy, Vian, who showed us to the cabin the day before, came to collect us bright and early. He was shy but had a ready smile and was a ball of energy. We followed as he led us on a long trek up the side of a bluff to a little round hut at the top, where the Shaman lived apart from the rest of the tribe. Smoke poured from a vent in the roof, which was the only sign of life. Vian stopped several yards down the trail and indicated that we should continue up without him.

"Wait, Vian! Aren't you going to introduce us?" I asked, feeling a bit awkward.

Vian laughed. "She knows. There's no need for me to be there." After he left us, Sam and I just looked at each other for a long moment, then continued our trek up the steep slope. I wondered how the Shaman got things up here—there were two paths, one just as steep as the other, going down each side of the bluff. Before we could knock, the door swung open, and there stood a beautiful woman—her dark hair in deep contrast to her lovely silver-blue eyes. She smiled knowingly, swinging the door open wider and sweeping her arm in welcome. "Come in."

Sam and I walked in ahead of her, and I noted how comfortable and homey the place was. There was a curved couch in the center of the room that curled around a beautiful glass table set with a wooden pitcher and matching mugs.

"Welcome Sam...Jacob." She nodded at us in turn, getting our names and identities correct. _Lucky guess?_ "I'm Eliza. Please make yourselves comfortable on the couch."

We mumbled some niceties and took a seat. I know I felt awkward, and I expect that Sam did as well. Eliza went into the small kitchen for a moment and then came into full view as she headed toward us. She really was breathtaking—wearing a colorful silk garment that skimmed over her curvaceous figure, long black curls falling gently over her shoulders and the essence of calm virtually emanating from her.

"You have questions." It was a statement, not a question. Eliza perched on the love seat across from the couch. "I'll do my best, Jacob, but I suspect that you want the level of answers that nobody can provide." Her wolf-like eyes lit on me intensely but not unkindly.

"Eliza, you're the tribe Shaman?" I asked.

"Yes. Shaman is the term used here; elsewhere it might be 'seer' or 'psychic.' I 'see' things, I give advice, and I assist with visions quests—whatever is needed of a spiritual nature."

I absorbed this information, unsure how I felt about it. Did I even believe in psychics? Sneaking a glance to the side, I took in Sam's stoic expression, which gave away nothing.

"It's okay, Jacob. I'm not insulted that you're skeptical; I think I'd be disappointed if you weren't." Eliza's eyes fluttered closed, and she took a few deep breaths. "Jacob...Jacob...your name means 'to supplant'...which means to replace one thing with another or to take the place of another."

Something about what Eliza said felt like someone dug a finger inside my gut and twisted it a little. "So? What does that have to do with anything?" My tone wasn't exactly polite, but her eyes remained closed and her face serene. Sam shot me a warning look.

"Jacob, your irritation is normal and expected. We put a lot of stock in the meaning of names around here. Tribe members may strive to live up to their name, fight not to, or just become aware of certain issues. From your name and what I 'see', you have been treading a fine line between replacing one thing with another and trying to force taking the place of another."

_She could have gotten information on me before we came here, _I thought to myself.

"You feel a pull to this place, Jacob. You don't understand what it is yet, but you will soon. In your mind, you're here to hunt down Damon—in reality you're here for a much more important reason."

"With all due respect, what could be more important than hunting down that _animal_?" My patience was at its end, my control over my temper close to snapping.

"Careful, Jacob," Sam warned.

"No, that's okay. Jacob is on a personal journey—one that couldn't be undertaken from the closed-off, turtle shell he was existing in." Eliza opened her wolf-like eyes, and they bore into mine. "Your life will change completely before you leave Alaska, Jacob Black."

It felt as though the air became thinner, and I was unable to look away as my breath caught. I was mesmerized by her eyes, and it seemed as though she could see right inside my soul. Maybe there _was_ something to this Shaman stuff, although I wasn't sure what I thought of it.

"Sam, would you do me a favor? Can you go out back and get me some firewood? It would really help me out, and I'd like a few moments alone with Jacob."

"Sure thing." Sam made eye contact to make sure I was okay with it, and then he left.

Drumming my fingers on my knees nervously, I waited to see what Eliza had in mind. I'd felt strange ever since we'd arrived here, and her words about my life being changed before leaving Alaska rang true. I had no idea what I would find here, but I suspected it would be life altering. My gaze cut over to Eliza, but her eyes had slipped closed.

"So much turmoil...so much pain. You loved her, but it wasn't a _healthy_ kind of love, Jacob. Have you realized that yet? It was more of an obsession, and when the vampire got involved, it became a pissing contest. What you failed to realize was that she's a woman...not a prize. You tried to move ahead without thinking of the ramifications if you should come across your imprint—which _she_ obviously was not."

I drew in a harsh breath, preparing to lay into her. How dare she throw my life in my face in such a simplified manner? Who did she think she was?

Without opening her eyes, Eliza held a hand up, as though she knew I was about to explode. "Shh, Jacob. I'm not here to sit in judgment—only to present you with information that can help you. We are all full of potential, but what we decide to do with it is what determines whether we have lived a good life. There are so many paths we might take, and each decision we make presents new avenues. Some roads are darker than others, and some are one way streets with no hope of going back. For you, I see a narrow road." A silvery bubble of laughter rippled from Eliza.

"Is there something amusing in what you've said? Because if there is—I totally missed it."

"You'll see in time. Now I have a question for you. Would you like to experience a vision quest? Would you like to learn how to transform into forms other than a wolf?"

"Is that possible for me?" It was hard to keep the excitement out of my voice.

"Yes. We can do a vision quest to discover your natural spirit animal, and then you can join in with some of the tribe to learn to take on other forms."

Sam cleared his throat as he came back into the room carrying a large bundle of firewood. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but we aren't here on a social visit, Eliza. We need to find Damon. It's nice of you to offer, but we really don't have time for vision quests."

Eliza turned her sage gaze on Sam. "The name Samuel means 'God's Word.' You're a good man, Sam—a fair man. Trust me when I tell you, I'm not trying to distract you from your mission. Jacob has been led here for a purpose higher than just hunting down Damon Black. Besides, learning to phase into a form other than a wolf will help you in your quest. Damon can go places that you can't go right now."

"When do we start?" I asked her, unable to hide my excitement.

"Sam?" Eliza queried.

"Okay," Sam acquiesced.

Eliza smiled like the cat that swallowed the canary.

**~*Damon's POV*~**

I paced the unfamiliar woods restlessly. I had a lot of thinking to do but was afraid of getting caught, so I climbed high up in a tree. There was something calming about sitting high above everything that could almost make me forget how much trouble I was in. Almost.

Eliza set me on the path...but would it be the path to redemption or death? Did it really matter?

My people were big on name meanings. The name Damon means _constant, loyal_. An outsider might say that I was a big failure at living up to my name—but was I really? Constant means _fixed, habitual, consistent, immutable_...but not necessarily in a positive way. Loyal...well I was _loyal_ to that traitorous bitch, Tanya. Again, 'living up to' doesn't necessarily equate with living _good_.

Tanya used me, plain and simple. I thought back to the conversation we had that set this all in motion...

_Tanya and I were lying in a field looking up at the stars. There was an incidence of Aurora Borealis, and the northern sky was painted with a rainbow of swirling colors in rich hues. We held hands, just looking up at what felt like our own private show._

_After a while I could feel the anger and tension building within her again—her body grew stiff with it—and a deep sigh issued from her delicate lips._

"_Isn't there anything that can be done to make your family in Forks see what a mistake they are making with this human girl?" I asked, raking my hand through my hair in frustration. Tanya was so beautiful, and I hated seeing her like this. She was usually so affectionate, and the sex was...wow. Her preoccupation with this situation had put a damper on everything._

_Tanya continued to stare up at the sky, disconnected. "I don't think so, Day." She squeezed my hand, and her eyes fluttered closed._

_I brought our joined hands to my lips, placing a kiss on her smooth, milky skin. Anger boiled up within me—I'd always had a problem with rage. "Please, Tanya. I can't stand to see you so worried about your family. There must be _something_ that can be done."_

"_Well...the only thing I can think of...just isn't possible."_

"_What is it?"_

"_Edward would have to find out what a slut Bella is. She's very careful when and how she sleeps around. If he were to catch her right after, though...with the scent of another still all over her..."_

_The wheels started turning in my mind—always a dangerous proposition. "What if Bella thought she was screwing Edward, then he came home right after and smelled someone else on her? She would insist it had been him, but there would be proof it couldn't have been..."_

_Tanya sat up suddenly with a loud gasp. "Day! You're a genius! That's perfect..."_

_Needless to say, I got some very hot sex that night...right under the stars._

I growled as I thought about how easily Tanya had manipulated me. God, I was so gullible! I'm surprised I didn't have ownership papers for a bridge around somewhere...

Stupidity is an infraction that should be punishable. I truly believe that, and it's a good thing, because I _am_ truly being punished. I've been exiled from my people, my other family was ripped from me before I was even born, the woman I love used me as a patsy, and now I had to attempt to atone for defiling an innocent. Could anything else be heaped upon me? _I probably shouldn't ask that—or look up while asking that—lest a piano fall from the sky._

When I set up that whole scenario I expected to have a nice little romp in the hay with Bella and then leave—so Edward could find her smelling like sex—finally seeing her for the dirty, little slut that she was. I expected to get my rocks off by an experienced trollop, ruin her plan to fuck up my Quileute family, avoid a war between the vampires and wolves, and go back to my Tanya as a hero.

_Ha-fucking-ha._

Little did I know that Bella was a virgin, her vampire lived by this strange monster's-code-of-ethics and didn't want to _do it_ until after the nuptials (how fucking ridiculous), that she would figure out right as we were about to get busy that _I_ wasn't _him,_ and that I would be so fucking turned on already that I missed all the important clues staring me in the face—telling me that Tanya had made a real asshole out of me.

I'd like to think that if I'd listened to Bella, following the verbal and nonverbal cues she put off, realizing that she was inexperienced and had never fucked Edward or anyone else—that I would have ended it right there. The truth is...I will never know for sure. The fact I will never know this, hurts me deeply. For as many days as I have left, I will see Bella Swan's dead eyes...I will hear her cries for mercy...I will remember how angry and cruel I was. For even as I punished Bella, a part of me was already aware that I had made a mistake but wasn't ready to admit it yet. I allowed an innocent girl to pay for my stupidity.

Climbing down from the tree, I fell to my knees and wept.

**~*Bella's POV*~**

Slowly I came to consciousness, unsure where I was at first. Moving slightly, I felt cool, hard arms tighten around me—and that's when I remembered—Edward and I made love last night. Twice.

I didn't want to open my eyes yet or come back to reality. I wanted a few minutes to reflect on how I felt about last night, about Edward. He knew I was awake; I knew he did. Vampires had that thing going on where they could sense the changes in breathing and heart rate—there was no fooling them into believing you were sleeping if you weren't. Edward just held me, not disturbing my private thinking time, which I appreciated a great deal.

Last night was...awesome. There were a few scary moments—a few insecure moments—but the general feeling I took away from it was incomparably wonderful. The way I see it, after a big event takes place, we're often left with an _impression_ of it—which is what we remember later on—what we take away and file in our memory. We tend to forget the fine points...most of the words said, gestures made, clothes worn—but certain elements leave an indelible mark upon us—such as how someone made us _feel_ (physically or emotionally), particularly kind or cruel words or deeds, and acts of kindness or cruelty.

Damon hurt me, said cruel things to me, and left me feeling dirty.

Edward lifted me up, worshiped me, made me feel beautiful and worthy of his love, and helped me to reach heights of ecstasy I was afraid were lost to me. His love was like the sun gently prodding open a flower that had closed up snugly during a frosty night. Through our love-making I felt as though toxins were released from my body, and I was free to be Bella again. No, I would never be the same as before; that just wasn't realistic. I no longer had to live in fear that Edward would reject me or feel twisted up and dirty inside.

Although this might have been obvious to someone outside of my situation, last night helped me make a personal revelation. _I did nothing wrong!_ I wasn't dirty inside; I wasn't used goods; I wasn't _unworthy_ of love! That was simply an illusion—one that many women felt after being violated—that I needed to process and get past. The dirty, unworthy one was the man that raped me and that bitch of a vampire that sent him to do it.

For the first time, I allowed myself to think about that night in more detail. Not the act itself—but afterward. Damon was so horrified and angry when he found out I was a virgin. He'd said Tanya told him I was a slut—that I slept with the Quileutes and with vampires—and that it would mean the world to her if he did this. But he came to me as _Edward _at first and tried to seduce me. Why? He was unbelievably angry about 'deflowering an innocent' and called Tanya a 'lying bitch.' My mind was whirling, trying to make sense of it. There was an elusive element that kept slipping through my fingers. I huffed, throwing my arm across my forehead in frustration.

Cool lips grazed the shell of my ear, and I smiled. "Good morning, Love. How did you sleep?" Edward's silken voice wrapped around me like a cocoon.

"Um...really good." Turning toward him, I couldn't stop the huge smile that spread across my face.

His golden eyes met mine tenderly, and he caressed my face with his cool hand. Bringing his lips to hover just over mine, his sweet breath fanned over my face, intoxicating me. "Last night was...the most incredible experience of my life, Bella. I hope you don't have any regrets...that I didn't push you too fast...maybe we should have waited..."

"Shh, Edward." I shook my head, placing a hand on his handsome face. "It was amazing, beautiful, tender and...mind-blowing. Nothing will ever erase what happened to me before, but we made new memories together that showed me what it can be like with someone that loves me. Many of my fears have been laid to rest. We both needed this, Edward. Now we can start the healing process _together."_

Edward's eyes glistened with venom tears that he could never shed, and he brushed his lips lightly against mine. "Bella, you're the most amazing woman. There are just no words..." His voice broke, and he laid a trail of kisses along my jaw until he reached my ear lobe, which he sucked in between his lips. I shivered...and it wasn't because I was cold.

Edward pulled back, examining me closely. "Bella, you were deep in thought for quite a while after you woke up. Will you tell me what you were thinking about?"

"I...I was thinking about Damon," I began hesitantly. Edward hissed, and I put my fingers up to his lips to quiet him. "Edward, please. I wasn't thinking about what he _did_, I was thinking about some of the things he _said_ afterward. Something about this whole thing just doesn't add up. Somehow things went wrong. He was so sorry after -"

"Bella! Please tell me you are _not_ defending that animal!" Edward's eyes burned into mine, anger turning them stormy and dark.

"No, of course not. I'm just trying to make sense of things. The pieces don't add up; that's all. Please don't be angry, Edward." I sat up, pulling away from him, holding the sheet over my still bare breasts. My face colored with remembered pleasure as I thought about what we'd done last night.

Edward sat up next to me with a sigh, taking my face in his cool hands and kissed my lips gently. "I'm not angry at you, Bella...never at you. You're such a kind and forgiving person...but I'm not. I hate Damon, and I don't really give a fuck why he did what he did—I just want to end him. And Tanya...well, let's just say that it goes double for her sorry ass." Edward growled deep in his chest. It was nothing like the sexy, possessive growls from last night—no, this was feral, predatory and fierce—and it scared me. Edward rarely used foul language, and I was taken aback by this as well.

Adrenaline coursed through my system, and I was afraid to look into Edward's eyes right now—afraid of what I would see there.

"Bella?"

I continued to look down, picking at the sheet with my fingers. "I'm sorry," I whispered.

"Bella, are you afraid of me?" Edward sounded frightened, and he put a finger under my chin to tip my face up to his. I let him and saw only concern for me in his warm, golden eyes.

"No, never. I've never been afraid _of_ you Edward—only afraid of what you might _do_ and how it might affect you—affect us. I don't think I want you to kill for me, Edward. I know that isn't what you want to hear right now, but some things are forever...once it's done you can never go back."

"What are you saying, Bella?"

"I'm saying that if you kill in my name...I don't know what it will do to _us_, Edward. Promise me you won't do anything rash. Promise me you won't kill unless it's in self-defense—at least not unless we decide it together."

Edward just looked at me for a while, his face incredulous at first. The longer he looked into my eyes, the more I saw understanding dawn over him, and hope was again rearing up inside me. He pressed his forehead against mine. "Yes, Bella, I promise. You know that you come first—no matter what I want or what I believe should be done—I will always put you, put _us_, first."

Outside the window a Starling fluttered by, settling into the branches of a tree...

**~0~**

**A/N: So...I'm betting some of you have a few guesses about things that are coming, hmm? I left some **_**obvious**_** clues and some **_**not-so-obvious**_** clues. Some of what I have planned, you'd never guess in a million. We're open for theories...let's see what you come up with.**

**Reviewers get TEASED!**

****Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I own Damon, Rafael, Aaron, Eliza, Vian, Rosa, the soon-to-be-introduced Eagle-girl, any other characters that might be created along the way, and my storyline.  
**


	9. Chapter 9 Riding The Animal

****This chapter keeps disappearing and reappearing, LOL. I have no idea what's going on with this site right now, but I apologize if any of you have received multiple alerts for the chapter only to find it wasn't there. Hopefully they will have this problem fixed soon. :-)**

**A/N: After some consideration, I decided not to go into detail on the substances used to stimulate spiritual experiences (for various reasons). The information in this chapter on vision quests, using a special "herbal blend", and the guided meditation are all figments of my imagination.**

**Thanks as always to all my awesome readers for their thought provoking reviews, side conversations and personal sharing. Mwah!**

**Much appreciation to my awesome beta Jess (jkane180) who really rocks!**

****Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I own Damon, Rafael, Aaron, Eliza, Vian, Rosa, the soon-to-be-introduced Eagle-girl, any other characters that might be created along the way, and my storyline.**

**~0~  
**

**Chapter Nine**

**~Riding The Animal~**

**~*Jacob's POV*~**

Eliza was a very beautiful and intriguing woman. I felt a bit uncomfortable around her because it seemed as though she could look directly inside me, plucking out my thoughts and feelings. As we were leaving her place, Eliza put her hand on my shoulder, turning me to face her. "Jacob Black. Be open."

"What do you mean?"

"Just what I said. Be open, and the world will open unto you like the delicate petals of a flower. Tighten your fist...and you _crush_ the flower." Eliza curled her fist tightly, her wolf-like gaze intense.

"I don't understand; you talk in such riddles!" I fumed.

"You will, Jacob. Just remember my words when your emotions get in the way—and they will."

"Can't you --"

"No. I can't tell you more. You must discover the truth for yourself. If I tell you, you won't believe me—and there is no satisfaction in having everything handed to you. Go now and prepare yourself as best you can. Your vision quest will be tomorrow morning at dawn...here with me...alone." Eliza bowed her head, obviously done talking.

"Sam..."

"No, just you. Sam will have his turn if he wishes, but vision quests are personal. I'll be here to facilitate and give you the drink."

"Drink?"

"Go! No more questions, young one. You exhaust me." Eliza shooed me away, her eyes dancing with amusement. I think she liked me. Yeah, I think she did.

Stumbling away from her door, my eyes met Sam's. He raised his eyebrows and shrugged as he started the trek down the bluff. We didn't talk much on the way. Sam was okay with my having a vision quest first—I'm sure so _I _could be the guinea pig. Eliza mentioned a drink, and I wondered if it was some kind of drug to induce a trance.

The iron-gray sky seemed pregnant with rain, and I fully expected to get wet halfway down, but it never happened. As we reached the bottom of the trail, Vian was there to meet us. With a shy smile he turned around, leading us back toward our cabin. The walk was pleasant, and we passed a number of tribe members. Most of them nodded in a friendly way; a few looked extremely curious or uncomfortable. I couldn't say I blamed them—Damon was exiled, and then we showed up, disrupting their daily routine.

"Vian, I saw a girl down by the lake earlier...she turned into an eagle..." I drifted off, unsure exactly what I was getting at or why it mattered.

"Ah, that was Lalaine. She hasn't been around with the tribe much lately—she's going through a rough time. I'm surprised you saw her." Vian looked sad.

"Is something wrong? Why is she having a hard time?"

"Not my place to talk about, Jacob. We don't discuss one another's heartbreaks; that would be Lainey's place to share if she chooses to."

"I see. I didn't mean to pry."

The rest of the way back to the cabin, I was deep in thought, wondering about Lainey. Something about the way she had thrown her head back—screaming up at the sky—spoke of a deep pain. I felt an affinity with her actions, and I wondered if she'd lost someone she loved too. I shook my head—what was I doing? I was here to gather information so I could hunt down Damon—not to delve into the lives of these mysterious people. _ Focus, Jacob._

**~0~**

The next morning, while it was still dark, before the birds were chirping— or any rational person would be up—Sam was shaking me awake. I swatted at him, burrowing under the covers and mumbling a few expletives. Sam laughed, and I heard his voice talking quietly with someone before he was back at me again.

I was deep in a dream about a flock of birds flying over a lake, very similar to the one our cabin overlooked. The really cool part was that I was one of the birds. I wasn't flying yet...it seemed as though I was a baby bird in a nest...but I was watching the others and gathering up my nerve to try to fly myself. That's when Sam started to shake me awake. Why is it that at the best part of a dream either the alarm goes off or some annoying individual jumps on your bed? _So not fair._

"Come on, Jacob..." Sam cajoled.

"Leave me alone, Sam! The birds aren't even chirping yet, for God's sake! There's something unnatural about being up before the birds are. And it's still dark!" I whined.

"Eliza is expecting you. Get your ass out of bed. _Now_." Sam was close to going Alpha on me; I could hear it in his voice. Shit.

Groaning loudly, like the whiner that I am, I rolled off the bed and onto the floor with a thump. Crawling over to the other side of the room, I grabbed some jeans and a flannel shirt from my duffel bag and made my way down from the loft, moaning all the way. I could smell the rich aroma of coffee brewing, and I moaned as I dragged myself to the rustic wooden table in the kitchen.

Sam looked amused as he placed a steaming cup of coffee and a bagel with cream cheese in front of me. "Good thing you showered last night, man."

"Saying I'm not a morning person is a gross understatement, but this is ridiculous! It's still dark and the little birdies are still asleep in their nests. It's unnatural, I tell you!" I complained.

By the time I consumed the bagel and coffee, I was feeling a bit more...human. Vian was waiting patiently for me outside on the bench that faced the lake.

"Sorry, Vian; I didn't know you were here! You could have come inside."

"Sam offered, but I prefer to sit out here. I love this time of the morning...before all creatures are awake and disturb the natural rhythms of the energy." Vian smiled at me. "I take it you _don't_ appreciate this time of day?" I could tell he was trying hard to suppress laughter.

"Sorry, no. My apologies for my crankiness. Well, lead the way!"

Vian was right; there _was_ something special about this time—the peaceful, unsullied atmosphere, as yet untouched by the bustle and activity of the day. The air was cool, crisp and clean, and I felt my mind sharpen as we walked along in companionable silence. Barely two words were spoken between us the entire time, and I found I preferred it that way as it gave me a chance to take in the beauty of the nature around me. The sky was a beautiful hue of midnight blue, streaked with swirls of lighter blues and tinged with a hint of yellow where the sun would soon rise. I could feel a light layer of dew coating my face, and I listened to the rustling and peeps of the creatures stirring in the vegetation. I just might have to get myself up early another day just to enjoy the experience. Sam might fall over if he heard me say this—I was the quintessential late sleeper.

As we climbed the narrow path up the side of the bluff, my mind drifted to the dream I'd been having before Sam woke me up. In it, I was a little bird in the nest watching the others fly, trying to gather the nerve to attempt my own flight. I didn't put much stock in dreams, and I didn't remember dreams very often, but I couldn't help but wonder if this one held any significance.

Before I knew it, we were at the top of the trail, and I could see Eliza sitting cross-legged on a mat outside her hut. Her eyes were closed, and she seemed to be deep in meditation. She wore another of those colorful silk garments that hugged her curves, flowing down to her delicate ankles, and I wondered if she had a whole wardrobe full of them. Was that typical 'Shaman-wear' or just something uniquely Eliza?

Vian and I approached silently, sitting down on a bench and waiting patiently, so we didn't disturb Eliza's meditation. After a few minutes, her lips started to move slightly, and I could hear a light chanting coming from her, as she began swaying gently side to side. When the movement and chanting stopped, she opened her eyes and looked directly into mine. _How did she do that?_ How did she know exactly where I was sitting? Why didn't her eyes meet Vian's instead? I felt like a butterfly pinned to a board under her intense gaze, and I found I couldn't look away. Shit. What was she doing to me?

As quickly as it happened, I was released, and Eliza smiled at me. "Good morning, Jacob Black. Vian." She nodded to us. "Vian, there's something on my kitchen counter for you. Go ahead and get it; then you may leave us."

"Thank you, mum." Vian stood up, bowing to Eliza as though she was royalty. He scurried into the hut and soon, reemerged with a brown velvet bag which he held reverently. With another bow, he was gone.

"Good morning, Eliza," I said softly.

Eliza rose fluidly from the mat she was sitting on, beckoning me to follow her. "Come on in." I followed her into the cozy hut which smelled of incense, and I could hear the tinkling of bells and chimes ringing softy around the room—which seemed to come from everywhere at once. The combination created an atmosphere that I couldn't put a name to...but caused a pleasant tingle to break out all over me.

I sat on the curved couch and noticed the same wooden pitcher and mugs on the coffee table that had been there the last time we were here—although this time steam curled out the top of the pitcher, rising slowly into the air. Eliza padded over to me—had her feet been bare even outside?—and bent down to pour some of the steaming liquid into one of the mugs. "You'll need to drink this, Jacob."

"What is it?"

"It will help facilitate your vision quest—a special herbal blend." Eliza stood up, looking at me expectantly, eyebrows raised.

"Drugs, you mean," I said flatly. I didn't take drugs, and I wasn't keen on taking any now.

"Jacob, this is how we trigger the experience. These are not recreational drugs; they are specially blended, by me, after being carefully researched. Why don't you voice your _real_ fears? It's not taking drugs that scares you—it's letting go—it's fear of what you might uncover about yourself."

My jaw clenched, and I was about to let Eliza have it when she put her hand up. "Don't bother, Jacob. I know you're going to lecture me about how I don't know anything about you or your fears. Now, let me tell you what I _do_ know—I know all about human nature. I know that we tend to avoid, fear or hate what we don't understand, and that denial can sometimes be man's closest companion. I say companion—and not friend—because to say friend implies something _positive._ You are free to leave here at any time, Jacob. I'm not going to force you to drink the tea or to face reality. Fate will find you wherever you go. You can meet it head on—or you can flee—it matters not to the powers that be. You may have come here seeking out Damon, but it's not the only reason you were brought here."

My mouth opened and then snapped closed. I was left speechless by her words, and the frustrating thing was...they resonated with me...I knew she was speaking the truth. Looking into her eyes, I found no judgment—just openness and honesty. A sigh escaped me, and I felt deflated, as though someone had let all the air out of me. "Eliza, I'm sorry..."

"No, no, Jacob. Please don't apologize to me. You're at a critical juncture in your personal evolution. We don't have to do this right now if you're not ready." Eliza smiled kindly at me; she was very understanding.

"I _do_ owe you an apology for being so rude. I'm not usually like that."

"Apology accepted; thank you." She nodded her head graciously.

"I would like to go ahead with the vision quest, Eliza—if you're still willing."

"Okay, Jacob. Drink the tea, and then we'll talk a bit; it takes a while for it to take effect. I'll be back in a few minutes." Eliza disappeared through a doorway lined by a curtain, leaving me to my own devices.

Picking up the mug, I sniffed at the tea cautiously. It had an interesting scent similar to an herbal tea. Taking a small sip, I found that it didn't taste bad at all, and I gulped the rest down in no time. Sitting back on the couch, I cautiously awaited the effects, even though Eliza said it would take a while. I was still apprehensive about what it might do to me, and I fervently hoped I wouldn't make an ass out of myself like I tended to do when I was drunk.

Eliza soon reappeared and perched on the edge of the couch next to me. "So, Jacob, any dreams last night?"

Nodding, I told her about the dream Sam woke me from this morning. She inclined her head, a small smile playing about her lips. "That makes a lot of sense, Jacob. You _are,_ in essence, a baby bird looking to test out his new wings. Very good; this means you're fairly open to the experience. Soon you should start to feel very light...as if you are floating a few inches above the floor. When the drug is in full effect, I'll lead you through a guided meditation to find your spirit animal."

Soon I started to feel very light—as though gravity had shifted—and I feared I might float up to the ceiling. "Oh, Eliza, I'm going to float away..."

"That's good, Jacob. Come now, I want you to lie down next to the fire on the bearskin rug." Eliza took my hands and guided me around the back of the couch where there was a roaring fire in the hearth and a soft brown bearskin stretched out. "Take your shirt off, Jacob; feel the connection to nature," Eliza encouraged.

Taking my shirt off, I lay back on the bearskin and stretched out my limbs. Eliza walked around my body in a circle, shaking something that let off gentle curls of smoke into the air. When she was done, there was an outline of my body hovering in the air above me. I no longer had the urge to speak; I was hyper-aware of everything that was happening, but I just wanted to observe and turn inward; it felt wrong to speak now.

"Good, Jacob; you're doing so well. Relax and let the feelings flow over you. When you're ready, close your eyes, and we'll begin."

When it felt right, I let my eyes flutter closed, listening to Eliza's soft voice...

"Jacob, relax all the muscles in your body...let go. If any thoughts come into your mind...acknowledge them and let them go. Don't get stuck on any one thought or image; just let them pass by. When your mind starts to quiet, I want you to imagine a stream trickling by you...the water lapping along the rocks, making gentle sounds...there's a clearing in the woods next to the stream, and you can see a path that starts on the other side of it. Breathe deep of the crisp, clean air...feel the gentle breeze on your face...hear the water bubbling along in the stream..."

_Slowly, a stream appeared to my left, and I found myself lounging on top of a humongous, flat rock that felt warm from the sun. I was a bit shocked at how realistic the rock and the warmth were under my fingertips. The water gurgled along, gently rolling over the rocks in the bed of the stream. Looking to my right, I saw a huge field of the greenest grass encircled by a dense wood, and the beginnings of a pathway could be seen on the opposite side._

_Closing my eyes, I absorbed the heat from the sun that was shining down on me from the crystal blue sky. This was like heaven! I could hear birds chirping and twittering in the trees, the sounds of squirrels scurrying around, and the water constantly flowing—it was all hypnotic. After a time, I opened my eyes, wanting to take in all this beauty around me. My eyes were drawn to the path on the other side of the field, and that's when I saw him—a lion—sauntering slowly toward me across the grass. I drew in a breath, a frisson of fear shooting through me, but then I realized that he was here...for me. Jumping down off the rock, I walked slowly toward the lion, meeting him in the middle of the field._

_Standing about ten feet away from him, I stopped walking, and he stopped as well. He looked deeply into my eyes for a moment, and then continued his slow saunter until he was mere inches from me. One large paw came up and settled gently on my shoulder. The lion's eyes met mine, and he seemed to be waiting to see if I accepted his gesture. I remained still, waiting to see what would happen next. The lion placed a paw on my other shoulder, then threw back his head and roared at the sky. The next thing I knew, I was lying on my side in the grass, wrapped up in lion—his paws held me gently but firmly in his embrace—and a big, pink tongue licked me from the bottom of my chin right up to the top of my head. It should have been gross...but I let out a laugh. "Hey, boy." Before I knew it, we were rolling around in the grass—almost like we were wrestling—and by all rights he should have crushed me...but I never felt a moment of discomfort. The only thing I felt from this huge beast was care, love, comfort and affinity._

_After 'wrestling' for a time, he lay very still while I touched him all over—petting his soft fur and his regal mane. He nudged me with his soft, wet nose and tossed his head toward his back. "You want me to...get on your back, boy?" He just looked at me knowingly and tossed his head again. I guess it was asking too much for this beautiful creature to talk, too!_

_Carefully, I maneuvered myself until I was on his back, and I dug my fingers into his thick mane. The lion stood and strolled back to the path he'd originally entered from. When we got to the edge of the field, he lowered himself down for me to get off. Once we were facing each other again, the lion licked me once, then threw his head back and roared. He nudged my hand with his huge, wet nose and then took off down the path. _

_Somehow I knew I wasn't supposed to follow him. It felt as though a part of me was being ripped away, and tears filled my eyes as I stood there...aching without the lion._

"Jacob..."

"Jacob...it's okay. He'll always be right here..." I felt a hand touch my chest, over my heart, and I placed my own hand on it to hold it there. I could feel tears streaming from my eyes, but I wasn't embarrassed as I normally would be.

Slowly, my faculties returned to me, and I was able to open my eyes. Eliza was squatting next to me, her hand still over my heart, and her eyes were sparkling. "You did wonderfully, Jacob! Very few take to the vision quest the way you have...I usually have to repeat it at least a few times. Wasn't it amazing?"

"Oh, my God, Eliza! There are no words to accurately describe it! It hurts to be separated from him though; it feels like a piece of me is missing."

"Once you complete the process that feeling will go away."

"Oh, there's more?"

"Now, you have to _become_ the lion." Eliza smiled, helping me sit up. "Not too fast, Jacob, or you'll get dizzy."

"How did you know it was a lion? I never told you that..."

"Never you mind, Jacob," she smiled. "Once you phase into the lion...you will become one being."

"Phase into...for real? _I'm_ going to phase into a lion?" My mouth hung open.

"The lion is your natural form, Jacob. You can learn to phase into any other being, but the lion is your...home base, so to speak. He did claim you, did he not?"

"Yes, I guess he did."

"Tell me, Jacob. Tell me your whole experience." Eliza's eyes danced with excitement.

**~*Bella's POV*~**

I could have stayed in Edward's arms all day. For the first time since my attack, I felt hope swelling inside me, and it didn't seem so impossible that I would eventually recover.

"Are you alright, Bella?" Edward whispered against my ear, and I could feel his hard chest against my back, his arms making a cage around my body. I felt like nothing could harm me here.

"Oh, yes. I'm just enjoying being here in your arms—I feel so safe with you."

"Good, because I _will_ protect you, Bella. I would do anything for you."

Turning my head back, Edward's topaz eyes met mine, and I melted inside. His arms tightened around me, and I tilted my head so my neck was exposed in the hopes that he would grace me with his kisses. It didn't take long before I felt Edward's cool lips nipping along the column of my neck and sucking my earlobe into his mouth. I thought I heard him whisper, "Vixen." I giggled.

Thoughts of what we might do with the morning stretching ahead of us started to fill my head when my cell phone vibrated its way off the night stand. Snatching it off the floor, I saw that it was Charlie calling, and I was immediately flooded with guilt. Since the attack I hadn't seen Charlie at all—I only spoke to him over the phone a few times.

Pushing the 'talk' button, I tried to sound cheerful. "Hey, Dad!"

"How are you, Bells? How're the wedding plans coming along?" Charlie's gruff voice came over the line, and my heart clenched.

"I'm good, Dad. Alice is a dynamo, so the wedding plans are progressing nicely. How're you doing?"

"Well, I'm headed over to the Res to do some fishing and visit with Billy. I thought maybe...you might stop by and see your old man?" Charlie sounded apologetic, but I was touched that my father wanted to see me bad enough that he put aside his pride to ask.

"Of course...I would _love_ to see my old man! What time?"

"Lunch at Billy's place at high noon, little lady," Charlie drawled, and I laughed. It felt good to joke around with my dad, and I really had been missing him.

"See you then!" I hit 'end' and then turned to face Edward. "I was hoping to lounge in bed all day with my hot, vampire fiancé, but I have a lunch date with the Chief of Police," I teased.

"Should I be jealous?" Edward smirked.

"Never. Hot vampire trumps every time."

"Are you sure you're ready to see Charlie?" Edward's golden eyes filled with concern.

"Yes, I think so. After last night...I think I can take anything on," I purred, licking his neck.

Edward groaned. "Um...future Mrs. Cullen? If you want to make lunch on time...you should cease and desist immediately."

"But it's only nine!"

"I know..." Edward's silken voice wrapped around me, leaving me wet.

"Oooh, you're right. Okay, get up! I need a shower."

"Mm-mm, a shower..."

"Down, boy!" I gave him a look.

Edward held his hands up in supplication, eyes filled with amusement. "Okay, okay, I'll be good! Maybe we can play naughty vampire later?"

"Is that a promise, Edward?" I asked throatily. His mouth hung open, and I gently pressed it closed.

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that. I'll get you some breakfast while you shower." Edward got off the bed, and I got a view of his naked glory from behind.

"Ni-ice."

His head whipped around, and he caught me eying up his perfectly sculpted butt. "Bella! What's gotten into you?" Edward almost seemed embarrassed as he pulled on a pair of pajama pants.

"Um..._you_ did, remember?" I giggled.

Edward shook his head as he padded out of the room. I thought I heard him mutter, "_So _naughty!"

Once I was alone, I rolled onto my back and reveled in the feel of satin sheets on my naked body. Maybe Edward thought I'd lost it, but I was just fine. The realization that, despite my attack, I was a sensual woman who was loved and treasured allowed me this sense of freedom. I'm sure a psychologist would have a field day with me, but I didn't give a shit—I knew I was on the road to healing.

**~0~**

After showering and having some breakfast, I got ready to head out to the Res. Edward wanted to bring me, but knew he wouldn't be allowed across the treaty line, so it was decided I would drive myself there. Edward was going hunting while I was gone.

As I was getting into my truck, Alice appeared. "Bella, your future disappears in about twenty minutes...are you going to the Res?"

"Yes, Alice. Hello to you, too."

"I hate it when I can't see you..." Alice pouted.

"I know, but I'm going to be on a Reservation with a bunch of werewolves and the Police Chief...what could go wrong?"

"Hmph! What indeed. Say hello to Charlie for me. I miss that man."

"He misses you too, Alice."

The ride to the Res was peaceful and serene, and my thoughts were on happy things...like last night. Edward was so gentle and loving—not that I was surprised—and he made me feel like a goddess. No other woman in this world has ever been loved so thoroughly or completely.

As I pulled up to Billy's house, a little Starling flew by, perching in a nearby tree. It seemed to be looking at me strangely, and I was about to take a closer look when the door to the house opened, and my dad came rushing out. At first, I thought maybe he knew about the attack when he enveloped me in a bone-crushing hug, but after a moment, I realized that he just really missed me.

"Hey, Dad!"

"You look good, Bells—well rested. I take it the Cullens are being good to you?" Charlie held me away from himself, looking me over with a critical eye.

"Yes, Dad, they're taking wonderful care of me. My every need is met—almost before I ask," I joked.

We went inside and had a nice lunch with Billy. The only awkwardness was when Charlie asked Billy about Jake's whereabouts.

"He's in Alaska, visiting with some of our...relatives," Billy answered uncomfortably. Charlie didn't notice, but Billy shot a look my way.

"Alaska? I never knew you had relatives out there!" Charlie said innocently.

I pressed my lips tightly together, staring hard at Billy in the hope that he wouldn't delve too far into the subject. It was as though he knew I was looking his way, and he chose to ignore me on purpose as he answered, "Well, I have a brother out there. He left the tribe when we were teenagers and joined up with a smaller Quileute tribe—one that does things a bit...differently than we do here. I haven't seen or spoken to Rafael since he left. We recently found out that Rafael has a son a bit older than Jacob. Jacob's taken an interest in his ancestors, so he and Sam have taken a trip to Alaska."

I held my breath during Billy's explanation, and let out a sigh of relief when he'd finished. Thank God he didn't say anything that might pique Charlie's interest. I wasn't even sure how much Billy knew about why Jake had gone to Alaska.

As we finished with lunch, Charlie got a call about an accident on the 101. "Duty calls..." he said, apologetically. "See ya', Bells. Be good." Charlie pulled me into a hug.

"Yeah, take care, Bella. Edward and his...family...are really being good to you, right? You know you always have your Uncle Billy if you need me for anything." Billy eyed me up and down carefully, as though looking for any signs of discontent.

"Thanks, Billy, I appreciate it. Edward is extremely good to me—and so is his family. I couldn't have asked for better in-laws."

Billy snorted then, but Charlie had his back turned already and didn't notice. "Alright then, Bella."

Charlie got in his cruiser, waving to us as he drove away. As I was about to leave, I turned back to Billy. "Billy? Do you mind if I leave my truck here for a while? I want to take a walk down by the beach. It's been a long time since I took a walk alone..."

"Sure, Bella. Got some thinking to do?" His look was sharp, and I still felt like he was expecting to find a chink in the armor of my relationship with Edward.

"Not the kind of thinking _you're_ hoping for, Billy. Please respect my choice. I love Edward, and he's done more for me—given up more for me—than anyone ever has."

Billy just nodded his head stiffly and abruptly shut the door. I guess it was the best I was going to get out of him. Maybe he was sore that I hadn't picked Jacob, but that would have been unfair to _me—_since Jacob could imprint on another woman at any time—with no choice but to leave me.

The day was beautiful and serene, with a clear blue sky and fluffy white clouds. A gentle breeze ruffled my hair and caressed my skin, filling me with a peaceful feeling. When I reached the beach, I took my shoes and socks off, relishing the feel of the sand between my toes. I ran down to the water, allowing the gentle waves to lap at my feet and ankles. Rolling the legs of my pants up to my knees, I felt so carefree, and I thoroughly enjoyed kicking my feet through the edge of the water. I even giggled to myself a few times.

After a while, I walked a ways up the beach and sat on a log near the tree line. Closing my eyes, I just relaxed. I heard a chirping sound and opened my eyes to see a little Starling hopping along on the sand. I smiled at the way it bopped along and got rather close to me, seemingly unafraid of my presence.

"Hey, little birdie," I crooned.

The bird skittered right past me and flapped its wings, only rising up a few inches before coming back down with a muffled thud. It stretched its wings out, but one was held at an odd angle, and I suspected it might be injured. I stood up, following the bird to see if I could help. Maybe I could take it to a local vet if it would let me near it. The bird waddled onto a pathway, flapping its wings again, and disappeared from sight. I followed onto the path into the trees.

"Little birdie! I won't hurt you...I want to help. Where are you?" I could hear more fluttering ahead, so I continued further up the path. Eventually, I came out into a small clearing, and I figured this must be where the bird made its way to. I started scanning the high grass for the tiny bird. A rustling sound came from behind me, and I turned around. My mouth ran dry at the sight before me—Damon!

"Bella...please don't be afraid. I won't hurt you; I promise." Damon stood before me with his hands held up in supplication.

My mouth worked, but no sound came out. Flashbacks of the day of the attack came flying at me at high speed, and I shook my head, backing away from him. There was nowhere for me to go—he was standing in the only entrance to the small clearing—and I was surrounded by trees.

"Please," I whispered, shaking my head. "Please, no."

Damon's eyes filled with pain. _Pain? _He looked remorseful and bowed his head. "Bella, I promise you, I'm not here to hurt you. I'm so sorry for what I've done; you have no idea."

All I could think about was that Damon—the man who raped me—was blocking my only path out of here. My chest constricted, and my breathing became erratic. Little pinpricks of light started to fill my vision, and I realized I was about to pass out—but I couldn't let that happen! If I passed out, he could do anything he wanted to me, and I wouldn't be able to fight back! Despite my best efforts, I lost consciousness...

"Bella? Please wake up..."

Disoriented, I opened my eyes to find Damon looking down at me. He was sitting on the ground with my head in his lap, and I was looking up into his concerned eyes. Concerned? Something was amiss here. "Bella, you're awake! You passed out. I'm so sorry I scared you. I didn't know what to do to get you to speak to me..." Damon faltered. He was stroking my hair as though he cared about me.

"Damon, may I please get up?" I whispered.

"Oh, yes, of course! Let me help you." He helped sit me up, moving away a few feet so we sat facing one another. It felt very...non-threatening.

"You...aren't here to...hurt me?" I asked, carefully.

"Fuck, no! Uh, sorry...I mean—heck, no! I just need to talk to you...and apologize. I know nothing I say will _ever_ make things up to you, but I have to do what I can."

I chanced a look into his face then. He was handsome in a rugged way—the small scar under his eye giving him a slightly dangerous tone but not detracting from his looks. It was difficult, but I forced my eyes to his, and I found a pleading look in them—there was none of the anger and hardness I remembered from the day of the rape. I shivered involuntarily. "I-I don't understand. What do you want from me?"

"Just the chance to explain some things. I swear, I won't harm you. Hell, I could have done anything to you while you were passed out—doesn't that prove something to you?"

"Yes...I suppose it does."

"Come with me, Bella? Somewhere we can talk privately?"

"Aren't we talking privately now? Why would I go anywhere with you?" My eyes grew wide with fright. He was trying to lure me away from here? How stupid did he think I was?

"Well, very soon we'll be overrun by werewolves. They'll smell my scent and hunt me down. I have a feeling they'll kill me first and ask questions later. Please just come with me, so I can explain things to you. I know it's a lot to ask—but I'm trying my best to atone for my sins—and you're the only one that can help me do that."

I looked deep into his eyes, and what I saw there was truth. Damon Black was telling me the truth. He wasn't here to hurt me (yes, he could have while I was passed out), and he was truly sorry for what he'd done to me. "If I agree to this...how would we get out of here?"

Damon grinned—it was a boyish grin—and it might have been cute under other circumstances. "Well, in my tribe we can phase into any form. I was thinking I could turn into a horse, and you could just ride out of here on my back. What do you say?"

"A...horse? I've only ridden once or twice..." I couldn't believe I was even entertaining the idea!

"You don't need to know how to ride; you just need to hold onto my mane. I know where to go, so you wouldn't need any reins. Will you try?"

"Okay..."

"I'll be right back!" Damon said, excitedly. He raced down the path, and a few moments later...a huge brown steed pranced into the clearing.

_Holy shit_. My mouth dropped open.

Damon trotted over slowly, kneeling before me so I could get on his back. Hesitantly, I threw my leg over his wide back, digging my fingers into his thick mane and pulled myself upright. He turned his head slightly and chuffed...I supposed he was asking if I was ready. Geez, I hadn't even asked him _where _he was taking me to talk. I wasn't too big in the brains department today, was I?

"Okay, I'm ready."

Damon stood slowly, trotting down the path to the beach. He went down near the water and started loping along the shore—slowly at first—gaining speed as I began to relax on his back. Soon, we were off the Reservation, continuing on through the woods.

**~*Alice's POV*~**

The house was fairly quiet. Carlisle was at the hospital, Emmett and Rose were away, Esme was working on her computer and Jasper and I were snuggling in front of the TV watching a movie. After Bella left for the Reservation, Edward thanked me for setting things up last night. Things had gone _very_ well between him and Bella, and I was so happy for them—they really needed it right now. So much had gone wrong...it was about time something went right. My brother...the hundred and nine year old virgin...finally got some! _Smile._

Bella had been gone for a few hours—it always made me anxious that I couldn't see her future when she was around those mutts. I knew they cared for her, and she was safe with them, but I was still left feeling vulnerable.

The phone rang, and I was surprised to hear Seth Clearwater's voice. "Hello?"

"Alice? Alice, something's wrong!"

"What is it, Seth?"

"It's Bella! We smelled the scent of another shape-shifter around the Res, so we went searching. Bella's truck was still at Billy's, and he said she went down for a walk on the beach -" Seth broke off, breathless.

If I had a heart, it would have sped up then. "Seth, calm down! I need you to tell me what's going on."

"Okay, we followed the scent down to the beach and saw Bella riding away...on a horse."

"A...horse? You don't keep horses, do you?" I asked confused.

"No! That's the thing—we think it might have been...Damon."

"Oh, God. Seth, that makes sense because I still can't see Bella's future...and that only happens when she's with one of your kind. Shit!"

"The guys followed the scent out to the road, but they must have transferred to a car because the trail went cold. We have no idea where he's taken her. I'm so sorry."

"Thank you for calling, Seth." I hung up the phone with a heavy heart (so to speak). Turning to Jasper—who already knew something was terribly wrong from the emotions that were flowing off me—I flung myself into his arms. "Oh, Jasper. That was Seth. Damon has Bella, and they've lost the scent. He must have taken her in a car..."

"WHAT? What the fuck are you talking about, Alice? Where the hell is Bella?"

I looked up to see Edward standing in the doorway. Oh...shit.

**~0~**

**A/N: What do we think of Jacob's experience? The chapter was getting too long, so we have to wait to find out Lalaine's story. I'll give the readers who pay attention a little hint though...her name means 'the narrow road'. Hehe.**

**Damon came to talk with Bella and she went off with him...what does anyone think of that decision? Not her smartest moment, huh? **

**My beta Jess also brought up a good point about Damon's clothing—or lack thereof. Chuckle. Anyone have a creative solution to the shifter's clothing dilemmas?**

**Oh my, Edward showed up just in time to find out Damon has Bella and nobody knows her whereabouts. Alice can't see Bella since she's with a shifter. Guess there's more than one roaring lion in **_**this**_** story. Any thoughts on how ballistic Edward is going to be in the next chapter?**

**Reviewers get TEASED!**


	10. Chapter 10 Grasping Hot Coals

**A/N: Drama and angst alert! ;-)**

**Thanks as always to my vampire-fast beta Jess (jkane180) for getting this baby back to me quickly! Mwah!**

**Chapter Ten**

**~ Grasping Hot Coals ~**

_**Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned~Buddha**_

_**~Previously~**_

_"Oh, God. Seth, that makes sense because I still can't see Bella's future...and that only happens when she's with one of your kind. Shit!"_

_"The guys followed the scent out to the road, but they must have transferred to a car because the trail went cold. We have no idea where he's taken her. I'm so sorry."_

_"Thank you for calling, Seth." I hung up the phone with a heavy heart (so to speak). Turning to Jasper—who already knew something was terribly wrong from the emotions that were flowing off me—I flung myself into his arms. "Oh, Jasper. That was Seth. Damon has Bella, and they've lost the scent. He must have taken her in a car..."_

_"WHAT? What the fuck are you talking about, Alice? Where the hell is Bella?"_

_I looked up to see Edward standing in the doorway. Oh...shit._

**~*Bella's POV*~**

When Damon and I reached the road at the edge of the woods, he had a car waiting for us. He knelt down gently, waiting patiently for me to climb down from his massive back and then trotted into the woods. A few seconds later his embarrassed voice called out to me. "Uh, Bella? I kinda forgot that my clothes are in the car. Do you think you can toss them over here? They're in a duffel in the front seat."

"Um, sure." I opened the passenger door, located the duffel and walked over to the bushes where I'd heard his voice coming from. He raised a hand, and I tossed the bag.

"Hey, thanks! Be right out."

A few minutes later, Damon came out from behind the bushes wearing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt that showed off his rippled muscles. It was so strange to see him in this light—looking so normal—we could have been friends hanging out. But I was his victim, and he was my attacker. Even though he wasn't here to hurt me, nothing could change what happened, what our relationship was to each other.

"Bella, thank you. I know this is awkward, and it must be really hard for you to be near me. The wolves will be here soon; we need to get moving." He held open the car door for me—such a polite gesture—the irony of it was not lost on me. When we drove away, Damon hissed in a breath as he looked in the rear view mirror. "Shit...we just made it. There's three of them back there! They would've ripped me to shreds." He shivered.

"So...where are we going?" I asked tentatively.

"Not sure. I saw a state park a ways up the road, we could talk there if you'd like...it's a public place. I don't want to make you any more uncomfortable—I just wanted the chance to explain myself to you even though I know I don't deserve it."

I stared at Damon's profile, but he never looked away from the road. He stared straight ahead, driving carefully, his muscles rippling as he shifted gears. The fact was, Damon could easily snap my neck, rape me, or make me do anything he wanted—but I felt no malice from him—only remorse.

Eventually, we pulled into the state park. There were only two other cars there, and the occupants were nowhere to be seen, but I felt safe enough with Damon. We strolled over to a picnic table and sat opposite each other.

"Bella, thank you for giving me this chance," he began, dropping his head into his hands. "I don't even know where to begin. Well, firstly...how are you? Are you...okay? I know it's a stupid question -" He scrubbed his hands over his face.

"Damon, please. I'm getting better, really. I have people around me that love me, and I have the most wonderful fiancé in the world. I'm being well taken care of."

"If you want me dead, I understand. I-I won't fight it. I just want you to hear what I have to say, and then I'll go quietly. Edward can kill me...or the wolves."

"Damon, I don't want you dead," I said, putting my hand on his. His head snapped up, and he stared at our touching hands. His mouth opened and closed, but nothing came out at first.

"H-how do you know that? You haven't even heard what I have to say yet!" Damon asked once he was able to speak.

"Because it's not who I am. Besides, there were things you said to me...that day...and they've been rolling around in my mind because they didn't add up. I don't believe you're evil, Damon. I think you're truly sorry for what you did."

His eyes filled with tears, and he didn't even try to wipe them away as they spilled over. "You're amazing, Bella. I'll tell you whatever you want to know. I _need_ to tell you this—to get it off my chest. I know I might die because of what I've done, and I don't want to go before I've had a chance to confess all of it."

"Alright, Damon. Tell me."

"Well, I fell in love with Tanya. She made me feel like I was the only man in the world...I hurt someone else who cared for me because of her. I was completely under her spell, and she lied to me—used me as a patsy. One day she was upset because she got an invitation to your wedding. She told me that you were a whore—that you slept around with the vampires and the Quileutes—that a war was about to break out between them over you. She made it seem like you were playing both sides against each other. I asked her if there was anything she could do about it, but she said that Edward would never believe it unless he caught you red-handed. That's how the idea was born.

"You see, I was never planning to-to...rape you..." Damon broke off, his voice cracking. "The plan was for me to appear as Edward and sleep with you while he was gone. Then when he returned, he would smell me all over you and confront you, at which time you would insist he was the only man you had been with. Alice wouldn't have been able to see your future at the time you were with me and would confirm that for him, and he would believe you were a liar. But see, this plan banked on the fact that you were _sleeping_ with Edward. But-but...you were...a virgin. Tanya knew that. She...set me up. She purposely sent me here to take away your innocence.

"When things got started, I was so filled with anger that you were hurting my tribe, the woman I loved and her family that I wasn't thinking clearly. When you kept questioning me, I just lost it and turned back into myself. I was so filled with anger that I didn't pay attention to the signs that were right before me—that you weren't a slut, that you were innocent. I hurt you. Even if you _were_ a slut, I had no right to continue—I never should have agreed to do it in the first place. I-I deserve to die." Damon began to sob.

"No, Damon. You don't deserve to die. You're a victim here, too. No, what you did to me wasn't right. It's never right to take what isn't yours—even if someone usually gives it out to everyone for free. It should always be a woman's choice. But I don't think you're a serial rapist, Damon. You aren't going around hurting women for kicks, are you?" He just shook his head mutely. "I forgive you, Damon," I said softly, touching his hand.

Damon just stared at me, his mouth hanging open as the tears continued streaming down his face. He stood up, holding onto the side of the table for support, and I quickly got up to make sure he was okay. He fell to his knees before me, grabbing me around the waist, and buried his face in my stomach.

"You're a goddess, Bella. I-I don't even know what to say. I certainly don't think I deserve your forgiveness. I hope Edward comes close to deserving your love—I hope he knows how lucky he is."

"He does; believe me." I ran my fingers through his hair, shushing him. I would have expected to be repelled by this man that had violated me, but all I felt for him was pity. He had been lied to and abandoned—left to take on the blame by himself. Instead of running...he'd come to find me and begged to explain himself, even if it meant his own death. I couldn't find it in me to hate him. I had to admire someone who had the courage to fess up to their mistakes.

"I don't deserve your mercy, and I'm not asking for it. I just needed for _you_ to know the truth."

"I do forgive you. There's a favorite quote of mine...'_Resentment is like drinking poison and hoping your enemy will die_'. I believe it was said by Nelson Mandela. Hatred and anger only hurt the one who holds them within. Hating you would only harm me—not you. Hurting you would not make me heal any faster, Damon."

"Please hurt me, Bella. Kick me, punch me, scream at me. I deserve all of that and more. How can you be so forgiving after what I've done to you—taken from you?" Damon sat back on his knees at my feet, yanking at his own hair. Here he was, pleading with me to punish him.

"Damon, stop, please! I'm not going to do any such thing. Please get up! I rather think you're suffering quite enough all on your own."

A couple came out of the woods, looking over at us strangely before getting in their car to leave. I imagine that we made quite a strange pair with Damon on his knees pleading with me. Maybe they thought we had a lover's quarrel. Speaking of—I remembered Edward. He'd be getting back from his hunting trip about this time, and I should really give him a call. I patted my pocket but found it empty. Where was my cell phone?

"Damon, do you have a cell phone?"

Getting to his feet and brushing off, he looked sheepish. "No. Nobody would want to talk to me anyway."

I looked around, spying a kiosk that held a small ranger station. Maybe there would be a phone there that I could use. "I'll be right back. I really need to let Edward know where I am so he doesn't worry."

"Okay, Bella. I'll wait here for you."

I walked through the glass doors of the building, and air conditioned air rushed out at me. As I entered, there was a hushed, pressurized feeling to the air that I had experienced in similar tourist buildings—the urge to be quiet, the feeling of being in a strange place—and now that I was experiencing it close to home, I realized it wasn't about being far away at all. You could be right near home and feel like a foreigner, like a tourist. Something about that struck me as ironic. I shook my head—I had other concerns right now.

The station seemed to be unmanned; there was a sign up offering brochures and area information, and vending machines in an alcove. I headed toward the vending machines and hit pay dirt—a payphone was tucked into the corner. Slipping some change into the slot, I dialed Edward's cell phone, and it went straight to voice mail. The payphone didn't care about that though...it took my money. I tried again with the same result. I only had enough for one more call, so I tried Alice.

"Hello?" Alice answered immediately, sounding stressed.

"Alice? It's Bella."

"Bella? Where the hell are you? What's going on? Edward is ballistic! Are you in that state park with Damon?" Alice rattled off so fast, I could barely understand her.

"Alice, slow down. Yes, I'm with Damon at the park. How the heck did you know? I thought you couldn't see me when I was with one of them."

"I can't. But you walked away from him to make this call, didn't you? That's when I saw you. Oh, Bella...Edward is on his way there. I'm right behind him, and so is Jasper—but he's so much faster than us—we don't have a chance in hell of catching up to him before he gets there."

"It's okay, Alice. Damon didn't hurt me. Everything is fine," I reassured her.

"No, it's not. Don't you see, Bella? When Seth called to tell us that Damon had taken you off the Res...Edward assumed the worst. He's coming to kill Damon, and he's out of his mind, Bella—I don't think there's any stopping him."

My breath caught in my throat. I looked around the corner of the wall, and I could see Damon waiting for me outside. I couldn't let Edward kill him! "No, he can't. I won't allow it."

"Bella, no! Don't do anything stupid! Do you hear -"

I slammed down the phone and ran for the door just as Damon—who was heading my way—stopped short and turned to look at something in the distance, his body stiffening.

"Damon! No! Edward's on his way here—please, Damon!" I shouted at the top of my lungs, and I know he heard me, but he kept walking away from me. "Damon! He's going to kill you! He thinks you kidnapped me!"

Damon held up a hand, warding me off—warning me to stay where I was. He was about to sacrifice himself to Edward, and that was something that I just couldn't allow.

**~*Edward's POV*~**

I couldn't believe my ears when I heard Alice talking to Seth. Bella was gone from the Reservation, and they thought Damon took her! What good were those mutts if they couldn't even protect one human on their land?

Pacing back and forth in the front yard, I tore at my hair...I cursed...I screamed...most of all, I blamed myself for leaving Bella alone on the Res. What was Damon going to do to Bella? What did he want? Was he kidnapping her? I kept calling Bella's cell phone, but it rang until it went to voice mail. I called long after I knew it was useless... just to hear her sweet voice. This was far worse than anything I'd experienced in my life so far—with the exception of the time that James had Bella.

"Edward, there are wolves coming in a few minutes," Alice notified me, grabbing my hands in hers. "Edward, please talk to me. We're going to find Bella!"

I rounded on her. "How the hell can you say that, Alice? You don't know that—you can't see her future—or if she even _has_ one, can you? I don't need platitudes right now. I was so_ stupid _to let her go there alone and unprotected." I scrubbed a hand over my face, looking up at the sky.

Bella, my Bella. Hadn't she been through enough already? I told her just this morning when we were lying in bed that I would_ protect_ her. She was so fragile and innocent. If anything happened to her, I wouldn't survive it.

"The wolves have arrived," Alice said softly. "Jasper! Can you come out?"

Jasper stepped out onto the porch—and to his credit, didn't even suggest calming me down—he knew I would pummel him. I picked up his thoughts. _I'm sorry, Edward. I'll stay here in the background and calm things with the wolves if they get out of hand._

I nodded my understanding as I turned to face the wolves. Seth and Paul appeared at the tree line. Seth was filled with concern for Bella and for me, but Paul was not so sympathetic. He thought he should be hunting down 'the rogue' rather than 'wasting his time here with leeches.' He didn't care one way or the other about Bella because he considered her a traitor. I growled lightly, fighting to keep myself in check.

"Seth, Paul—thank you for coming. Is there any word?" I asked tightly.

Seth spoke up, even though I was pretty sure Paul was ahead of him in rank. "Hey, Edward. So sorry about this. Basically, we saw Bella galloping off down the beach on the back of a horse; the unfamiliar scent of one of our kind was all over the place. We followed them as best we could, but he must have had a car waiting, and we lost the scent. We also found Bella's cell phone in the sand; she must have dropped it."

"Well, that explains why I haven't been able to reach Bella on her cell. Do any of you know Damon? Do you have any idea where he might have taken Bella or why?" I raked a hand through my hair.

"No, Edward; I'm sorry. Believe me, we're pretty steamed over this, too—although I know it can't begin to compare to what you're going through." _At least __**some**__ of us are._ I caught Seth's thought as his eyes slid toward Paul.

_I just want to hunt down this asshole that made such a mockery of my people. Bella deserves whatever she gets for being such a traitor. _Paul's thoughts were not very pleasant, and I growled at him. "What the fuck is your problem, Edward?" Paul snapped, taking a step forward.

"You and your ignorant opinions are my _problem_, Paul." I glared at him. "Bella did nothing to deserve any of this! You aren't good enough to lick the bottom of her shoes!" I spat, leaning toward him.

Jasper sent a wave of calm over us, and it settled like a thick, damp blanket. Paul was confused by it, but I knew exactly what was happening.

"Wait! Everybody stop!" Alice called out. "I see Bella! Edward, she's trying to find a phone! She keeps mumbling about needing to reach you. I can see Damon out the window of where she is—it's a state park—the one up the highway, I think! She's—oh, no, no, no, no! He's headed toward the building where she is, and she's fading out. Damn!"

I turned to Alice, my eyes wild, and grabbed her by the arms. "What did you see? Was she hurt? He found her in that building? Was he coming for her? Please, Alice, do you think they're still there?" I shook her lightly, desperate for answers. Being able to see what Alice had seen, I knew she couldn't really tell me anything.

"I don't know, Edward. Bella didn't look hurt. Damon was heading for the building she was in, so I lost the vision. You know I can't see her around one of them."

"I have to get there! I have to save her!"

"Edward, calm down and try to think rationally," Alice pled with me. "I know you're upset but you sound like a lunatic right now."

Jasper's thoughts intruded. _Alice is right, man. You're on the edge, and you need to reign yourself in. You won't be any good to Bella if you can't hold it together._

"Fuck this!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. "Instead of worrying about _my_ state of mind—how about we worry about getting Bella back—because without her, I can no longer exist. You want to stand here and figure shit out—go ahead—but _I'm_ going to find Bella, and kill that stupid son of a bitch that dared to lay his hands on her again."

"Edward, no!" Alice yelled out.

I didn't hear the rest of the words or thoughts from those who stood in front of my home—which was now long behind me—as I ran as fast as I could toward the state park. I was like a heat-seeking missile, and _I would not be stopped_.

**~*Tanya's POV*~**

My sanctuary, my asylum, was dead ahead. My eyes drank in the beautiful stone walls of the castle—walls that would protect me from the big oaf and his viper of a girlfriend who were hot on my heels. A self-satisfied smirk spread across my face as the huge iron door opened silently on well oiled hinges and closed firmly behind me as I was welcomed with open arms. T_hey would hunt me like an animal, would they? Well, fuck them!_

It doesn't take much for things to go straight to hell. One minute you're moving along nicely—with a brilliant plan in place—and the next you find yourself running for your life. I never should have trusted that fucking bird—he just wasn't bright enough to pull off the job. I mean how hard was it to get a woman in the sack if you looked like _Edward fucking Cullen_? Panties would be dropping everywhere. Even Bella-the-virgin should have been wet and ready for _that_ momentous occasion. Damon fucked it all up somehow and then had the audacity to _tell _them that he did it for me! There was no Plan B possible. All the time I wasted buttering up that repulsive shape-shifter and putting up with his ridiculous sentimentality! If I could throw up...I would have.

Traveling quietly through the peaceful stone halls of the castle, I was shown to my chambers and informed that I should remain there until summoned. Fine by me. Looking around, I admired the finely appointed room which held all I would need to be comfortable. Even if it had been completely _empty_ it would have held all I needed because it would keep out those who would try to persecute me. None of them—not even Edward—would dare to come after me here. I smirked as I stepped over to the window set into the curved stone wall and looked out at the beautiful countryside. The sun was setting, and hues of pink, gold and orange shot across the sky as deep shadows began to creep over the trees and vegetation below. I climbed onto the window seat, curling my legs beneath me, and thought about how I came to be here.

Many years ago, I fell in love with Edward Cullen. Carlisle brought his newborn to Denali to break him in and teach him the vegetarian lifestyle. The moment I saw Edward, I wanted him. I'm an old vampire—much older than Carlisle—and I had never found anyone that I was seriously interested in, until Edward came. He was breathtakingly beautiful, but underneath all that, his soul was beautiful as well. I took him under my wing, teaching him to hunt, and talked to him about books and music—being as old as I am, I was a font of knowledge for him to soak up.

My vampiric gift is seduction—I'm a succubus—and no man or vampire I set my mind on has ever been able to resist me...until Edward, that is. Edward's mind-reading capabilities ruined any sway my gift might have had over him—he was completely immune—and to top it off, he knew exactly what my thoughts were in regards to him. I made him uncomfortable, and he politely resisted my advances. Despite the fact that I could get any other male I desired, it hurt that Edward didn't want me—it made me feel inadequate and ugly. Seduction lost its shine for me for a while after that, and I never completely recovered from the rejection...as kind as it may have been handled. Edward Cullen was, after all, the quintessential gentleman...he wouldn't _dream _of hurting someone more than necessary. I think I would have preferred it if he _was_ mean...it might have made things easier for me if I could hate him or cry to my sisters about how he did me wrong. But no, I was always the one who came off looking bad—so I got to be hurt _and_ made to look like a sore sport.

There was one time that I almost had Edward in my clutches. It was when he'd first met _Bella_, that pesky little human the Cullens were all making such a damned fuss over. Bella was Edward's singer, and when he first got a whiff of her blood, he went crazy. I heard he was absolutely feral, and it took all he had to stop himself from killing her on the spot—too bad Edward had such control—my life would have been so much easier otherwise. He fled straight to Denali, leaving the Cullens behind, and asked to stay with us. The first few days, he brooded in his room and refused to discuss why he was there. One day, I walked past his room to find the door open and the room empty. Elated, I followed his scent out into the woods where I found him sitting on a snow drift in a deeply contemplative state.

"_Edward?" I plopped down next to him in the snow. "Are you alright?"_

_Edward continued to stare straight ahead without blinking. To a human, he would appear to be a statue carved from the finest granite by an artist of the highest magnitude. His beauty struck me yet again, and I felt a pang in my empty chest. "Yes, Tanya, I'm fine. Thank you for asking," he answered absently._

"_Why are you here, Edward? Don't get me wrong—I love having you here—but I wonder what happened that would tear you away from Carlisle and the others so abruptly." I cocked my head to the side as I watched him closely. His knees were drawn up against his chest, and his arms were wrapped tight around his legs—he seemed to be trying to hold himself together._

"_I can't discuss it, Tanya. Let's just say I'm not as strong as I thought I was—that I almost made a deadly mistake that could cost my family dearly—and I felt that they would probably be better off without me there." Edward hung his head._

"_I can't imagine they could ever be better off without you, Edward. Selfishly, I'm glad you're here with us, and I hope you'll stay—I hope you'll discover something you've been missing..." _Like me_, I wanted to say but didn't. I rubbed light circles on his back with my long fingernails._

_Edward remained silent for a few minutes—he seemed to be deliberating something heavily—and then he turned his beautiful face toward me, caressing my cheek with his long fingers. I drew in a startled breath because I wasn't expecting the gesture of affection. "Tanya..." he whispered, bringing his lips slowly to mine. His kiss was gentle and tentative, his lips probing at mine as though making a completely new discovery. It was so innocent and sweet—unlike any kiss I had ever experienced—being so used to men being aggressive and full of desire. But it was also the best kiss I can ever remember._

_Slowly, I brought my arms around his neck as we turned to each other, and Edward's hands slipped around my waist, pulling me closer. I'm not sure who made the first move, but our tongues touched—tentatively at first—the intensity growing quickly as Edward lay me back gently on the soft snow with his body hovering over mine. We became all lips, teeth and hands as clothing was discarded—both of us oblivious to the cold around us. My body was singing as Edward touched my naked skin, closing his lips over one of my nipples. I grasped his huge erection in my hand and salivated venom at the thought of closing my mouth over it or having it buried deep inside me. I moaned, scratching my nails along his back._

"_Oh, Edward. I've waited so long for this..." I whispered._

_Maybe that's where I went wrong—drawing attention to my obsession with him._

_Edward stilled, his erection going limp in my hand. "Tanya, you're a beautiful woman...but I-I can't. I can't do this; I'm so very sorry." It felt as though I was being bludgeoned with each word._

"_Why not, Edward? Did I do something wrong?" I asked so softly that a human would never have heard me._

"_It's not you, Tanya. It wouldn't be fair to you—I see someone else every time I close my eyes, and I have to see that through first. I hope you understand." Edward's eyes were tortured—hell, who could do tortured, brooding vampire better than Edward?—and though my dead heart was aching, I nodded my head, trying my best to hide my hurt feelings from him._

"_So...there's someone else?" I asked uncertainly._

"_In a manner of speaking. She doesn't even know I exist...but I can't stop thinking of her. She's invaded the very fiber of my being, and even though I've run away, it's changed nothing. I have to go back. I have to face this and find out what's there—for better or worse. Once I 've resolved it—maybe then, Tanya, I would be able to—but right now, I just can't." His eyes were so earnest, so true. Why couldn't Edward be mooning over ME?_

"_Edward, I can't imagine a woman that has set eyes on you that __**doesn't**__ know you exist...that wouldn't want to belong to you. I wish you all the best of everything, and I hope you find your answers. I'll be here if you ever want me." I smiled sadly._

But Edward never came back. The woman he saw whenever he closed his eyes? That would be Bella. _A human_. I saw a picture of her once, and I was appalled at how incredibly plain and ordinary she was—especially next to me. Apparently, Edward loved her and considered her his mate. I figured if I waited long enough he would either tire of her or she would die from old age, and then I could take up where I left off with Edward—at the point before his dick went limp, that is.

Then I got the invitation to their wedding in the mail. A primal scream ripped from my chest after I read it. Kate and Irina rushed in from outside to see what happened. Hugging the invitation to my chest, I burst out the door without a word to either of them, heading back to the same place where I'd sat with Edward the day he kissed me. I sobbed for hours, rocking myself like a child.

It hurt so bad that I didn't know how to process it—but I quickly found a way as my hurt turned to a deep smoldering anger—a plan starting to form in my mind. If Edward were to see that Bella wasn't so perfect, he would dump her and come running back to my waiting arms. She was finite, but I was immortal. She was plain, dull, and I was stunning. There was no comparison, and after he saw through her, he would come to his senses. My mind turned to Damon—the Quileute I'd been fucking for the past few months—he was totally in love with me, and I was pretty sure I could easily manipulate him to do my bidding.

I figured if Bella slept with the imposter Edward and then the real Edward came home and smelled a shape-shifter on her while she was protesting how she had just given the real Edward her virginity—I didn't even think he would stop to wonder about it—he'd just dump her sorry ass. How do you defend against such damning evidence? Then Edward, and his hot body, would be all mine.

You know what they say about the best laid fucking plans and all.

My reverie was interrupted by a light knock at the door. "Come in."

A vampire walked into the room. "Aro will see you now. Please follow me."

**~*Damon's POV*~**

Time was up. Edward was heading straight for me like a bullet. I was going to die here. The one complication? Bella.

I was walking toward her to see if she'd found a phone when the hackles rose on the back of my neck. I felt him before I heard him—but soon I could hear Edward Cullen yelling as he ran for me—screaming that he was going to tear me limb from limb for touching Bella. I couldn't blame him in the least—if I had a girl like Bella and someone hurt her, I would do much the same. She saw me halt and change direction, and she was yelling for me to stop. Somehow she knew that Edward was coming for me, and she didn't want him to succeed in killing me. It was so much more mercy than I deserved. I held up my hand, warning her to stay in the building, but she wouldn't listen; she just kept on coming.

"Bella, no! Stay there. It's not safe for you out here!" I growled as she rushed through the glass doors. I could hear her heart beating fast in her chest.

"Damon, no! I won't let you sacrifice yourself! Let me help. I can talk to Edward." Bella started to run toward me, and I felt helpless.

"Bella, no! He's coming full speed, and he's not reasonable. I don't know if he'll be able to stop. Just go back inside. Please!"

"No!" Bella's jaw was set.

I ran the other way, trying to get away from her. I saw him then, rushing toward me like a freight train, a primal scream ripping from his chest. Falling to my knees, I held out my arms to let him know I wouldn't fight him.

"I'm right here, Edward!" I yelled out.

"Edward, no!" Bella screamed.

It all happened so fast then.

Edward was coming right at me, and I closed my eyes in preparation.

There was a shuffling of feet and a whoosh of air, and then Bella landed in front of me. The fool had jumped right into the path of an angry vampire! "Bella, no! EDWARD! EDWARD, STOP!" I yelled out, struggling to get up off my knees before Edward arrived.

I stood up and grabbed Bella, trying to push her out of the way, but it was too late.

Edward burst out of the trees as though shot from a canon and slammed into us. I tried to hold onto Bella, but she was knocked from my grasp and went flying through the air. "Bella! Edward, please!"

We landed on the ground with Edward on top of me, pinning me down. His lips were peeled back over his teeth, and he was growling ferociously. As we landed, he realized that Bella had gotten in the way, and his eyes changed immediately.

Before I knew what happened, I was left alone in a heap.

Edward yelled out then—a scream of pain and torment ripping from him. "BELLA! NO! PLEASE, BELLA!"

Lifting myself up to a sitting position, I saw Edward fall to his knees as he picked up Bella's limp body, hugging her to his chest.

~0~

**A/N: I have my armor on—fire away! What's your take on Damon now? How about that bitch Tanya?**

**I've been busy working on a new story. My Darkella entry went from a one shot to a story I'll be continuing...seeing as I'm not busy enough and all. :-0 It's called "I Want It Painted Black" and the first chapter (my initial entry for the one shot contest) is already posted on my profile:**

**Summary: Bella Swan is dead...Izzy Black is an emancipated bad girl. Edward Cullen is the vampire that threatens to bring it all down in an inner battle between darkness and light.**

**I'll be continuing it after I finish the chapter of "I Saw You Coming" that I'm currently working on.**

**Reviewers get TEASED!**


	11. Chapter 11 Fate Will Not Be Denied

**A/N: In the previous chapter of this story, quite a few of you were upset with me and I even lost a reader. I have to be true to my story and my characters and write what's in my heart. There's no way any author is going to make everyone happy all the time. I profusely thank most of you who have stuck by me during the writing of this controversial story. I want you to know that I feel and appreciate your support. For those of you who actually thought I would kill off Bella...**_**really**_**? That would be fanfic suicide, LOL.**

**This week a special teaser went out to Cierra Hill-Thomas. Cierra reads and reviews ALL of my stories. She was interviewed for the Reader Spotlight this past week and had such wonderful things to say about my writing—even listing me in her top five favorite authors. How could I not send her a special teaser for that? Thank you, Cierra!**

**Nice long chapter ahead, kids. Hope you guys are a bit happier with me this go round. :-)**

**Thanks, as always, to my lovely beta, Jess (jkane180), who keeps my sorry comma-challenged butt afloat. Ahem.**

_**Previously...**_

_There was a shuffling of feet and a whoosh of air, and then Bella landed in front of me. The fool had jumped right into the path of an angry vampire! "Bella, no! EDWARD! EDWARD, STOP!" I yelled out, struggling to get up off my knees before Edward arrived._

_I stood up and grabbed Bella, trying to push her out of the way, but it was too late._

_Edward burst out of the trees as though shot from a canon and slammed into us. I tried to hold onto Bella, but she was knocked from my grasp and went flying through the air. "Bella! Edward, please!"_

_We landed on the ground with Edward on top of me, pinning me down. His lips were peeled back over his teeth, and he was growling ferociously. As we landed, he realized that Bella had gotten in the way, and his eyes changed immediately._

_Before I knew what happened, I was left alone in a heap._

_Edward yelled out then—a scream of pain and torment ripping from him. "BELLA! NO! PLEASE, BELLA!"_

_Lifting myself up to a sitting position, I saw Edward fall to his knees as he picked up Bella's limp body, hugging her to his chest._

**Chapter Eleven**

**~Fate Will Not Be Denied~**

**~*Alice's POV*~**

There are moments in one's existence that are life-altering. If someone had told me today would be one of those days, I'd likely have laughed. I was psychic—I saw events on the horizon and was often able to circumvent them—I wasn't used to being blindsided. There was nothing ordinary about today, and it would be a day I remembered for the rest of my days for many reasons.

As I ran through the woods just behind Jasper, I prayed for the first time in years. My ability was being blocked by Damon's presence near Bella, and I had been plunged into the darkness and uncertainty that most of the population was subjected to every day. For me, it was sheer terror. I could see in the set of Jasper's jaw that he was worried—that he was prepared for anything—that we might be dealing with casualties.

Slowly, we were gaining on Edward, but it wouldn't be enough. We were close enough to hear his primal scream as he burst from the woods, and the solid _smack! a_s he slammed into Damon. As we reached the edge of the trees, I heard my brother wail, and it carved a groove into my chest that I feared would never heal.

"BELLA! NO! PLEASE, BELLA!" Edward's voice was laced with pain and disbelief.

As we reached the pavement of the parking lot, I quickly assessed that no civilians were in the area. Jasper pulled up short, hissing and grabbing at his head, as the onslaught of emotions hit him hard, but he recovered quickly. Damon was sitting on the ground looking frantically toward Edward, who held Bella's limp body in his arms as he keened. It appeared that Damon had some broken bones, but since he was a shape-shifter, he should heal quickly.

Jasper stood over Damon like a mighty warrior. "Don't move. Don't even think about moving. If you get up, it will be for the last time." Jasper's voice was cold and commanding.

Damon nodded. "I'm not going anywhere. I tried to stop him...I tried to pull her out of the way. Please tell me she's alive." His voice broke. He seemed genuinely concerned about Bella's well-being.

Edward stood up, cradling Bella in his arms. I headed his way but was stopped in my tracks when Edward let out a feral growl. "Edward, it's me, Alice." I moved a little closer, but he growled again, pulling Bella in closer to his chest.

"Nobody comes near Bella. _Nobody,_" Edward growled.

"Not even to save her life, vampire?" a new voice chimed in. I whipped my head around to find a woman standing a few feet away. How she got there without our knowledge, I'll never figure out. She had long, dark curly hair, silvery-blue eyes and a hauntingly beautiful face.

Edward leveled his gaze at the intruder and let out a ferocious, angry growl. The woman looked amused, which just incensed him further. Edward snarled.

Damon spoke in a whisper then. "Eliza? What are you doing here?" His voice was bordering on reverent.

"Never you mind, Damon. Just stay where you are." Eliza's eyes never left Edward's as she spoke. Her voice was soft but commanding—it held a great deal of power. She came closer to Edward and Bella slowly, in a non-threatening way, her face serene. "Edward, she can be saved. Can you?"

Confusion filled Edward's face, and he cocked his head to the side. His vampire nature was still so close to the surface, and I was frightened about what might happen. Due to the presence of the shifters, my gifts were rendered useless, and I knew we were at a pinnacle where the possibilities spiraled out into the future. Edward still didn't speak, but he continued to stare at Eliza, mesmerized.

"You can't read me unless I allow it, vampire. Stop trying so hard...you're giving me a headache." Eliza smiled slightly, taking a few steps closer. Edward allowed it.

Suddenly, there was the drumming of feet as the wolves started to arrive. Eliza calmly turned from Edward and waited. Three wolves burst from the treeline, snarling—their large teeth bared at Damon as they closed in. Eliza silently slipped in between them, holding her hand up. "Halt!"

Two of the wolves held back, but the charcoal gray one that I assumed was Paul snarled louder and advanced on Eliza. She stood her ground, and I wondered if I should intervene. As I stepped forward, Jasper grabbed my arm with a shake of his head. "Don't, Alice. She's got this."

"What? A woman against three wolves?"

"Not just any woman. Trust me. Just sit back and watch." Jasper looked amused. I shrugged, trusting my love implicitly. I chanced a glance at Edward—his body was turned more toward Eliza, and he seemed fascinated.

Paul continued to stalk Eliza. "I'm disappointed, but not surprised. You really need to be taught a lesson, don't you, young pup?"

This seemed to incite Paul's anger further, and he leaped into the air at her. It all happened very quickly, but Eliza's eyes seemed to darken to a midnight blue, hardening like granite—then she thrust her hand out, and in a voice that sounded very much like an Alpha command, she intoned, "DOWN!"

Paul stopped in mid-flight, his body twisting in the air—it was as though he hit a solid brick wall—and then he hit the ground with a yelp. He tried to struggle to his feet, snarling viciously, but he was unable to. In the same tone, she commanded him again. "STAY!" Then she turned her back on him and returned her attention to Edward.

We were all standing there in silence, with our mouths slightly open—all except Jasper, who was trying hard not to laugh. Eliza turned her eyes on him for a brief moment. "Something amuses you, empath?"

Jasper drew in a breath. "How did you know?"

"The stupid smirk was a dead giveaway." Eliza answered with a barely concealed smirk of her own.

"No, I meant about the empath thing..." Jasper trailed off.

But Eliza had already turned away from him, and I suspected she was being purposely obtuse. I sniffed the air around her, and she smelled like a shifter. The way she just commanded and bound Paul, she must be someone pretty high up—perhaps from the Alaska tribe.

Eliza moved closer to Edward. "Edward, we need to talk. Is there somewhere we can go that's a bit more...private?"

"I'm not going anywhere with you. I have to take care of Bella." Edward's eyes grew dark again, and he let out a warning growl.

Eliza simply waved her hand at him. "Not to worry. Bella has some broken bones, and her body has shut down to protect her from the pain—not to mention what she's been through psychologically. Your Bella is made of the strongest stuff, Edward." Eliza smiled at Bella almost affectionately. "Come, let us go somewhere private. I will heal Bella's wounds. There will be no need for hospitals or doctors."

"How do I know I can trust you? You're one of _them_." Edward spat out the word 'them' as though it was poison, and his eyes roamed over Paul and Damon.

"Look into my eyes, vampire. Look into my mind because I'm going to allow it. Your Bella has a bleed in her brain. If you take her to the hospital, she'll die. But it's up to you. I _can_ heal her."

Edward looked uncertain. Damon spoke up then, and I'd almost forgotten he was even there. "Edward, listen to her! If Eliza says she can heal Bella, then it's the truth."

Edward snarled at him. "_You_ don't speak to me—ever. The only thing I want to hear out of you is your last breath."

Jasper walked over, putting his hand on Edward's arm. "Edward, she's telling the truth. Let her help us."

"But why? Why would you want to help us? We're your natural enemy."

"I have no enemies. The divide between our kinds is ludicrous. Do you wish to stand here and split hairs with me, Edward, while the love of your existence dies in your arms?"

"No. Do we have time to go to our home? It's a few miles from here."

"Yes, that would be perfect." Eliza nodded and then turned to the wolves. "You three—GO HOME AND DO NO HARM TO DAMON." There was that tone of voice again that left no room to brook an argument.

Two of the wolves whined, while Paul bared his teeth.

Eliza's eyes hardened as she addressed Paul. "You are ridiculous! Damon's infraction was against Bella and, in turn, Edward. It's up to them what his punishment is—and he has come here willingly to receive it. You _will_ stay out of it."

The wolves left, and Eliza muttered to herself. "I abhor prejudice. It's why there's so much wrong with this world." She lifted her head to address Edward then. "We'll all go to your home—Damon included. He's willing to receive any punishment you see fit; however, I urge you strongly to allow Bella to decide this, Edward. So much has been taken out of her hands already, and if you run her down now, there's no telling what ramifications it will have on your future together."

Edward just looked at Eliza for a moment but didn't answer.

"Eliza, we can run really fast, but how will you get to our house?" I asked.

"Not to worry. I'll be there before any of you."

"Impossible." Edward frowned at her.

"Would you like to make a wager, vampire? In fact, don't even tell me where your house is, and I'll _still_ get there first."

"I hope for your sake that's true because if Bella dies while you're playing games, I'll hunt you down."

Eliza's eyes turned cold. "I don't play games, Edward. It might seem that way, but I'm trying to make a point. I would never take any chances with Bella's life. I'll see you there."

And then, with a wave of her hand, she was gone as if into thin air.

**~*Lalaine's POV*~**

Eagles were supposed to have keen vision. When I found out that my natural form was an eagle, I was ecstatic—then I got cocky, thinking it meant I was destined for something special. One thing I can advise others about is never to get too cocky or too complacent because that's exactly when you'll be slapped down.

These days, pain was my closest companion. I spent most of my time alone because the company of others was too painful to bear. I hated the way the rest of the tribe looked at me. Oh sure, they tried to conceal it, but I could see deep in their eyes how sorry they were for me. Lalaine—the one who loved the outcast—the rapist who attacked the girl that his first cousin was in love with on the word of a vampire succubus.

I had been in love with Damon Black since I was a young child. No, I didn't imprint on him, but I loved him and craved him. We played in the sandbox together, learned to phase together, did our vision quests within days of one another...I thought he was the cat's meow. As we grew older, and my body developed into that of a woman, Damon started to notice me, too. Before I knew it, we were an item, spending all our free time together. When I was sixteen, we shared our first kiss. When I was eighteen, I gave him my virginity. When I was nineteen, Damon started acting strangely—he wasn't his usual affectionate self, and he told me he needed time on his own away from me. That really hurt, but I thought it was just a phase he was going through, so I stepped back to give him his space. I'll regret that decision for the rest of my life.

Damon has always been somewhat of a rebel among our tribe. He's never been one to follow protocol, which made him less than popular with the rest of the Quileutes. Whenever anyone told Damon what to do, he always had a 'fuck you' kind of attitude, except when it came to me. Damon always had a soft spot for me, and he hated to disappoint me, so I could usually talk him down from most situations. Had I known that Tanya was using her powers as a succubus on Damon, that she was pushing him into doing her bidding, I would have put an end to it. Knowing that I was the one person that might have stopped an innocent girl from being raped made me sick to my stomach. My Damon—how could he _do _such a thing? With me, he was always so tender and gentle. Many of the others that never took the time to get to know the real Damon weren't all that surprised about what happened, but I was shocked. I cried for days on end, and I was ashamed to show my face before my people. Maybe I didn't ask Damon to rape that girl, maybe I didn't use my powers of seduction on him to get him to agree to it—but damn it—I felt partly responsible anyway. When I thought about what they claimed Damon did to that girl, I still had a hard time believing it. Apparently, there was rock solid proof, and Damon had gone on the run—maybe even with Tanya—but I had known him all my life, and this just wasn't the man that I knew...the man that I made love to, the man that I thought I would spend the rest of my life with.

My seclusion was purely self-motivated. The rest of my tribe didn't blame me for what happened—in fact, they looked upon me as another of Damon's 'victims'—but I didn't want their pity or sympathetic looks. I wanted to know how I could have wasted so many years of my life growing, changing and falling in love with someone, only to have it all ripped out from under me so suddenly and completely. There was no going back, no redemption. If Damon came to me and confessed his undying love right this moment, I couldn't take him back—I would never touch him, kiss him, make love to him, ever again. I would never lay eyes on the shy little smile that sometimes lit his face or feel his hands run lightly over my arms to calm me when I was feeling anxious. The fact that he committed a horrendous act of violence didn't eradicate my feelings for him overnight. How could I turn off years of feelings in one day? But my moral compass wouldn't allow room for me to take him back. I could forgive him, but my life with him was over—over in a moment that could never be taken back. Tears spilled over, running down my face as I grieved my loss, which was as severe to me as if someone had died. In essence, although Damon still lived and breathed somewhere (for now) his love was dead to me—gone forever.

A few days ago, I found myself down by the lake where we used to walk together hand-in-hand. I'm not sure why I decided to torture myself with that particular set of memories, but it was almost as though I _needed_ to do it—a necessary purging of some sort. The pain grew and grew until I could stand it no more. I stood up, allowing the cloak I was wearing to tumble from my shoulders as I threw my head back in a primal scream that originated deep in my gut. I erupted into my eagle form, taking off into the sky as I screeched and keened.

I flew around aimlessly, but after a while, I found myself at Eliza's hut. She was sitting outside waiting for me.

"_Ah, Lalaine. I've been expecting you."_

"_Good morning, Eliza."_

"_Come sit with me. We don't have long to talk because I have a vision quest to facilitate this morning." Eliza gazed into the middle distance, her wolf-like eyes softly focused._

"_A vision quest? It's not the time for vision quests, is it?" I asked, confused._

"_Not for our tribe, no. I'm doing this for one of our Quileute visitors."_

"_I see. One of the hunters." My voice was flat and angry._

"_Ah, don't judge them, Lainey. They did nothing wrong."_

_I sighed deeply. "I know, Eliza—it's just so hard for me."_

"_You remember the meaning of your name, right?" She looked to me, and I nodded. "The narrow road. You walk the narrow road, and the road to you is narrow as well. Damon was not your mate, my dear, as much as you wanted him to be. I know your feelings for him run deep, and the rug was pulled out from under you, but you will heal in time."_

"_Eliza? Take it away for me?" I begged._

_Eliza gave one sharp shake of her head, her eyes hardening. "No, absolutely not. Taking away memories and feelings is not to be entered into lightly. There are very few reasons why it would be appropriate, and your case is not one of them."_

_I cast my eyes down. "I'm sorry. I'm in so much pain."_

"_I know. I promise something better is on the horizon for you—I just can't tell you when or how—you have to discover it for yourself. Now, a situation is going to arise that will cause me to leave here in a few days, and I'll need your assistance."_

"_What? But you never leave here!"_

"_Never say never, Lainey. I'll return, but I have a journey of my own to embark upon. I'll need you to take over the phasing instruction while I'm gone."_

My ruminating was cut short by Vian's voice. "Lainey?" I jumped, blinking my eyes rapidly a few times and taking in my surroundings. I was perched on a large boulder at the edge of the field we used for phasing classes. Since Eliza had taken off to parts unknown, just as she'd predicted in our conversation the other day, I was going to be running the lessons for her. I had been assisting Eliza with the classes for the past two years, and she sometimes had me run them 'just in case' she couldn't be there. It was nothing out of the ordinary, except that I was expected to work with the Quileutes from La Push this time. Before I'd even opened my mouth to object, Eliza cut me down with a simple, hard look from her silvery-blue eyes. She said something to the effect that I had a duty to perform even though I might have some personal objections—that sometimes we had to do things even if they stuck in our craw. When Eliza got into command mode, there was no arguing with her. I had come down to the field early to think and get myself prepared. It wouldn't due to be rude to our guests—even if they did want to kill the man I've been in love with since I was a young girl.

"Hey, Vian. What's up?"

"I just wanted to let you know that one of the Quileute boys from La Push is on his way down to the field. He's really, really nervous about learning to phase. I know you have a lot on your plate right now, and I thought you might want some advance notice." Vian gave me one of his shy smiles.

"Thank you, Vian. I guess meeting one-on-one instead of in front of the class might be preferable anyway."

"Okay, Lainey. Do you need anything before I go back?'

"No, I'm good. Thanks, Vian."

Vian was a treasure; he helped the tribe with a great many things and always had a ready smile for everyone. I don't think in all the years I'd known him that I ever saw him lose his temper—or his faith. I, on the other hand, was having a major crisis of faith right now.

So, the Quileute was on the way down—the one who was Damon's first cousin and wanted to tear him limb from limb for raping the woman he loved. It was my understanding that Bella didn't return his affections. It seemed we had a bit in common where love was concerned—or lack thereof. Still, I felt angry at him for being here—angry that his intent was to hunt Damon down and kill him.

Standing up, I raised my arms over my head, doing a swan dive off the boulder, executing a perfect flip and landing on my bare feet. I was scantily dressed because, by necessity, we ruined whatever we were wearing when phasing. Running lightly across the field, I practiced a few flips and hand springs—ever since I was a child I'd been into gymnastics, and I had a natural talent for it. There was nothing in this world that helped calm and focus me like getting into my zone and doing some moves. After performing a short routine, I felt better able to face what was coming.

I took the water bottles over to the natural spring and filled them with fresh, clear water. We expended a lot of energy phasing—especially when practicing multiple times and different forms—and it was important to replenish our system with fluids. As I was crouching down filling the bottles, I sensed a presence behind me. I stood up and turned around, but I didn't see anyone. The feeling persisted, and I walked slowly in the direction I was pulled to go—I had the strangest sensation in my chest.

A few seconds later, a young man appeared at the edge of the field. He was tall, with sculpted muscles and short, spiky black hair. I stepped closer, and as our eyes met, all the air was sucked out of my lungs. A dizzying feeling swirled around my head as my entire world tipped on its side. The strangest sensation built in my chest—it felt as though there was a cord attaching me to him, reeling me in, and my body shook with the force. I tried to back away, tried to fight the feeling—but it was a downright physical manifestation that I could not break free of.

"Oh, God, no," I whispered as I realized what was happening—I was imprinting on the man that wanted to kill Damon! No way. Closing my eyes, I tried to break the connection—I fought it with every fiber of my being—turning away and trying to phase into my eagle form. The dizzy feeling grew stronger, and I let out a high, keening scream, my body shuddering as I fought to phase and make my escape.

"Hey!" He spoke to me for the first time, and his voice reached inside me. No! I would not let him in; I couldn't let him in. He wanted to hurt the man I loved. Once he found out who I was, he would hate me anyway.

"AHHHHHH!" I wailed, falling to the ground.

Everything went black.

**~*Jacob's POV*~**

Today was the day I was supposed to learn to phase into a lion. I hadn't had a case of nerves like this since I was a small child. Sam kept shooting me looks and telling me to calm myself down. This feeling I had seemed to be about more than learning to phase—perhaps it was due to the fact that Eliza had left the community rather abruptly yesterday. She came to me to explain that she had a sudden personal journey she had to embark on, but I would be left in the very capable hands of Lalaine—the girl that Vian had refused to discuss with me previously. I had seen her down by the lake; I saw the pain within her as she raised her arms to the sky, letting out a scream as she phased into a beautiful eagle. Ever since I'd seen her that day, I'd been curious as hell about her. Nobody in this tribe would talk though—they valued privacy and etiquette very highly. But today I would be coming face to face with her, and it left a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach that I couldn't name.

I grew tired of Sam's strange and questioning looks, so I decided to head down to the field where we would have the phasing lessons a bit early—get the lay of the land. Vian was hanging around outside, so I asked him to direct me where to go. It was a pleasant walk, and I tried to empty my mind of all thoughts and concerns; knowing I might have a hard time phasing if I couldn't relax and let go. The path down to the field was gentle and sloping, with lots of trees and wildflowers along the well worn grooves where many feet tread before me.

When I reached the edge of the field, I wasn't expecting to see Lalaine crouching down by a natural spring filling water bottles. She stood suddenly, turning as though sensing my presence, and I took in her form. She was a sight to behold—lean, curvy frame scantily clad because we'd be phasing, black hair plaited into one long braid that tumbled over the front of her right shoulder and a face that was delicate, yet strong. As she stepped closer, I was able to take in the depths of her dark eyes, and suddenly, the tugging feeling that I felt in my chest by the lake throbbed through me a hundred times stronger. The entire world collapsed down to a pinpoint that only included Lalaine, and I felt compelled to go to her, to make her mine. Holy shit! I was imprinting on her!

Suddenly, her face started to crumple, and she tried to turn her head away. "Oh, God, no," she whispered, closing her eyes. With a great deal of effort, she turned her body away from mine, but I could see what a drain it was on her. Didn't she understand what was happening? Didn't she know it was dangerous to try to fight imprinting?

"Hey!" I called out, trying to get her attention without scaring her.

Lalaine fought with all her might, struggling hard, until she screamed out and fell to the ground unconscious. _Shit!_ What was I supposed to do? We were far from the tribe out here, and nobody was expected for at least another half an hour. I sat on the ground, gathering her up in my arms. My God, but she was beautiful—and she was meant for me. Everything fell away in that moment, and I wanted nothing more than to get lost in her dark eyes.

"Lalaine..." I whispered, but there was no response—she was out cold. I took one of the water bottles and tipped some onto one of my hands, rubbing it on her face, hoping it might help. "C'mon, baby. I've waited my whole life to find you. Open those beautiful eyes."

As I held her, she grew restless and whimpered a few times before starting to mumble things. "No...please, not him...God, no...why are you doing this...Damon, please don't leave me...I love you...No!"

_Damon? Did she just say she loved Damon?_

Suddenly her eyes snapped open, and she looked up into my face. At that moment, I didn't care if she had just declared her love for my rogue cousin. "Hey, beautiful."

Lalaine's eyes widened as they roamed over my face. "You mean...that wasn't a nightmare? I really..."

"Imprinted on me? Yes. I'm rather insulted you think that's a nightmare though," I answered with a small smile.

"You might think it's a nightmare, too, once you find out the truth." She cast her eyes down.

"You mean about you being in love with Damon?"

Lalaine gasped. "How did you— "

"You were so obviously fighting the imprinting—not too smart, by the way—and when you passed out, you were talking out loud. You were begging Damon not to leave you...and you said you loved him."

Lalaine slapped herself in the forehead and groaned. "God, could I be any more lame? Damon dumps me, I can never be with him again and I imprint on his cousin who is in the process of hunting him down. Yeah, I'm having a red letter day. Just kill me now." She rolled off my lap, springing to her feet in one fluid movement.

"Lalaine, where are you going?"

"I'm going to get one of the other instructors—I can't do this. If necessary, I'll leave here until you're gone. I don't want to make things uncomfortable for you." She started walking across the field, and I felt my heart going with her, ripping from my chest while it was still beating.

"No! Lainey, don't go!" I got up and ran after her, catching her about the waist and pulling her back against my chest. She stiffened.

"Get your hands off me," she said quietly but with an undertone of force to her voice.

"Lainey, please. I'm yours now...and you're mine." I stepped back as requested, but I put my hands on her shoulders.

"No, no, no—that's where you're wrong. I can never belong to you. Maybe I can't be with Damon now, but I can't be with his executioner either."

"Baby, please..."

Lainey whirled to face me, her expression fierce. "I'm not your baby. _Get lost_."

"No, you don't understand! We imprinted—we can't be apart now. When you started to walk away, it felt like my heart was being torn from my chest. Imprinting is forever."

"No! This must be some kind of cosmic joke, but I'm not falling for it. We'll get over the pain. God knows, pain has been my closest companion since Damon left."

"What would Eliza have to say about this?" I asked her, knowing the answer already.

"Hey! Don't you dare bring Eliza into this! We're through here. Have a nice life—I hope you find a more suitable imprint."

Lainey turned and started to run across the field. I didn't know what to do. I needed to talk to Sam and find out if anyone ever heard of an imprint rejecting their partner. My chest started to roar with a crushing pain, and I wasn't sure if I would make it back to the cabin. I needn't have worried myself because, apparently, Lainey was feeling the same burn and, with a wail, collapsed on the ground. I raced to her and found her eyes rolled up into her head. This time she didn't waken, and I started to panic. Gathering her in my arms, I ran as fast as I could back to Aaron's place.

Rosa was sweeping the steps as I came barreling into the front yard, yelling for all I was worth. "Aaron! I need Aaron!" She looked up at me, and her face registered surprise. She recovered quickly, running into the house to fetch Aaron.

Aaron stepped outside, looking grim. "Jacob. What happened to her?"

"I-I..." My voice failed me. "She won't wake up. She refused me...as her imprint. She tried to run from me."

"What? She knows better than that! Why would she...oh. Damon." Aaron scrubbed a hand over his face. "Oh, how I wish Eliza was here."

"Where is Eliza?"

"I don't know. She's never left here before." Aaron's eyes were haunted, and I had a sudden revelation.

"Eliza? Is she...the one?" I recalled when Aaron had told me that the woman he loved wouldn't have him.

Aaron nodded. "Yes. Eliza is my imprint. Things are...complicated due to her position within the tribe as Shaman. She's the most beautiful, strong woman I've ever met." He had a faraway look in his eyes.

We sat in Aaron's living room and waited for Lainey to awaken, but she didn't. Eventually, there was no choice but to take her to a hospital where she lay in a coma. There was no obvious physical reason for the comatose state, but nothing they did roused her—she just lay there like Sleeping Beauty waiting for her prince to arrive—but I was not him.

**~*Edward's POV*~**

In my family, I was known as the brooding vampire with a penchant for the dramatic. Perhaps this was true. Today, I was completely gone—out of my mind. I couldn't even explain what was going through my supposedly highly functioning brain as I headed for Damon like a heat-seeking missile. I never thought about the fact that Bella might get between us—that she might try to play heroine. As I shot out of the trees, finding my target, there was no way to stop the momentum of my decision—no way to shut off my predator nature in the split second before impact when I saw Bella. Damon tried to push her out of the way, but I hit him broadside, and his grip on Bella was knocked loose, sending her flying through the air. I heard the sickening crunch as her bones shattered when she landed on the asphalt of the parking lot.

I was over to her in a flash, begging whatever God there might be to have mercy. I could hear her pulse, slow and thready—the blood moving sluggishly through her veins. She didn't smell quite right as her body released various chemicals to try and deal with the severe trauma to her body. I growled and snarled at everyone who tried to approach as I held Bella's body carefully in my arms. Then this Eliza showed up claiming she could heal Bella's wounds—telling me Bella would die if we tried to bring her to a hospital. She smelled like one of _them,_ but she spoke differently—of desiring peace and having no enemies—and something in her silvery-blue eyes spoke truth to me. Bella was fading quickly, and there was no time to lose with indecision.

When I arrived at my house with Bella in my arms, Eliza was waiting out front just like she'd said she'd be. She nodded her head my way—her bearing was regal, almost like royalty—and yet she was very humble at the same time. "Edward, time is of the essence. Is there somewhere private we can bring her that we can make her comfortable?"

"My bedroom?"

"Yes, perfect. Lead the way, please."

I sat on one side of the bed, holding Bella's hand, while Eliza worked her magic. She lit some incense and waved it over Bella's unconscious form and then she ran her hands over Bella's broken body while chanting.

I was fascinated by this beautiful woman who commanded wolves, disappeared into thin air, seemed able to look into one's soul and, apparently, could block me from reading her mind at will. After a while, she looked over at me. "You have questions, Edward. Go ahead; ask them."

"Who are you? Why have you come here—how did you know?"

"I'm the Shaman of the Quileute tribe from Qahla-Pititchu, Alaska. I perform many functions for the tribe, including being a seer. A few days ago, I saw that I would be needed here, so I came."

"Why are you helping us?"

"I see it as my duty to help those in need—be they vampire, shifter or human. In my mind, there is no prejudice—there are no lines drawn in the sand—and all are equally deserving. The love between the two of you is something truly special, Edward. It would be an honor to help in any way." Eliza bowed her head.

"Thank you, Eliza. You're very unique, and I appreciate what you're doing for us."

"You may change your mind about that."

"Why?"

"Because my beliefs are the same when it comes to Damon." She watched me stiffen at her words with a knowing smile. "I have seen into Damon's soul—I know who he is. He is not the monster that most seem to think he is. Trust me when I tell you that he has never committed an act of violence against a woman, and that he would never have done so on his own. Damon doesn't even know the extent of what was done to him—how much he is a victim here as well."

"With all due respect, Eliza, Damon raped my fiancé, and then he kidnapped her!" I felt anger coursing through me, which I was desperately trying to reign in.

"Edward, please give me a chance to explain. I can feel your anger building, and that won't do us any good. I'm going to tell you this only because it's important to your personal path to know it. You see, one of the curses of being a Shaman and seer is that I often have knowledge of things that I _shouldn't_ tell someone. Sometimes telling someone what I see actually changes their path. Part of the responsibility of a gift such as mine is discernment—knowing when to speak and when to stay silent—allowing things to play out as they were meant to. I need your word that what I say will be kept in this room before I continue."

"I won't keep any secrets from Bella," I warned.

"I said this room, Edward. You may tell Bella what I say—but she has no need of it because she has already forgiven Damon his sins _without_ the knowledge. Bella is a special woman, and I know you're well aware of that. Damon _did not_ kidnap Bella. When she awakens, you ask her, and she'll tell you that she left with him willingly to give him a chance to explain himself. Why do you think she stepped between you at the park? She was trying to stop you from harming him. The thing that impresses me most is that Bella has no idea of the real truth, and neither does Damon himself, but she has chosen to forgive him anyway."

Eliza was an impressive woman, but my anger continued to boil just under the surface. How could she speak of Damon as though he was a victim? What else was there to know other than the fact that he brutally raped Bella, taking her innocence away? I curled my fists, trying to remain in control as I looked down at Bella sleeping peacefully in my bed.

"Edward, she'll awaken soon. Her wounds are all healed, including the broken bones."

"How is that possible?"

"Healing. Not everyone is meant to be healed, not everyone's higher self will accept the healing—but if it's meant to be, the miracles can occur. Bella will rise from this bed as though nothing ever happened to her. She won't even be sore. Her memory of the events will be intact, however, and that is something that you will have to face together."

My heart sank as I recalled the way I rushed in without thinking—the way I could have been the cause of Bella's death if Eliza hadn't stepped in. "Thank you, Eliza—for saving Bella...and me. I would die without her."

"You're welcome. The two of you are destined, Edward. Now, do I have your promise that what I tell you about Damon will not leave this room?"

"Yes."

Eliza spoke for a long time, and when she was done, I felt sick. It wasn't possible for vampires to throw up, but at the moment, I wished fervently that it was so I could feel some relief from the roiling in my stomach.

"Do you see now?" Eliza turned those intense eyes on me. "Look deep into my mind, Edward. See my memories—am I telling the truth? You decide."

"My God," I whispered.

There was a sound from the bed—Bella! My eyes were riveted to her form under the covers as she stretched and wiped the sleep from her eyes. She sat up—sat up after half of her body had been shattered!—and yawned, looking around the room disoriented. "Edward? How did I get here?"

I sat on the edge of the bed, taking her hand. "I carried you, Love. What do you remember?"

Bella blinked a few times, rubbing her eyes. "Wow, I feel so well-rested, like I had a full night of sleep. How long have I been out?"

"Only a few hours."

Bella looked around the room, and her gaze locked onto Eliza. "You. You're real."

Eliza stepped forward with a small smile. "Hello, Bella."

"You were there with me—you healed me. You told me everything would be alright."

"Yes. I'm surprised you remember that—usually people forget the healing experience. Do you remember any pain? How are you feeling now?"

"No, no pain. I just remember you running your hands over my body and an intense heat as I healed. I feel wonderful right now—like I got the best night of sleep I've ever had. Thank you." Bella shifted up so she was leaning against the headboard, then she suddenly stiffened. "Damon! What happened to Damon?"

I shushed her. "Bella, don't worry. Eliza stopped the wolves from hurting him, and he's downstairs right now."

"He's _here_? You allowed him to come here, Edward? But what happened? You were so intent on killing him..."

"My only concern was you, Bella. Half of your body was crushed, and Eliza here healed you. She also told me a story that turned my stomach. We need to protect Damon, Bella."

"_What_? I mean, I forgave him...but you...you were so angry." Bella's eyes were filled with confusion.

Eliza stepped in then. "Bella, there is much that we need to explain to you, but right now, you and Edward need some time alone. Remember, Edward, the story I told you must not leave this room."

"But, Eliza, how will we protect Damon if everyone believes..." I started, but she cut me off.

"That is a part of the puzzle, my friend. With great power comes great responsibility—that sometimes means allowing certain chips to fall where they may, even if we think they should fall elsewhere. I must have your word, Edward."

"You have it."

"Thank you. Welcome back, Bella. May you both be well. You have quite the journey ahead—just remember that you will get through it as long as you're together."

"Thank you, Eliza," Bella smiled.

"Yes, thank you—for everything," I said sincerely.

After she left the room, I took Bella in my arms as though she was made of glass. I ran my hands over her entire body, barely able to believe that she was intact—but she was. There were no broken bones—not even a scratch on her.

We snuggled down into my bed and held each other, running our hands over one another as though to be sure we were both really there. Bella's chocolate eyes met mine, and I melted. Cupping her face between my hands, I brought my lips to hers gently—but Bella had other ideas as her tongue pushed aggressively at my lips. Clothes were ripped away quickly, and we found ourselves naked and panting. "Bella, we should stop -"

"No, I want you, Edward."

"But you almost died today."

"Exactly. We should never waste time because none of us knows how much of it we really have. Love me, Edward."

Bella ran her hands over my chest and up to my face, pulling my mouth back down to hers. She didn't have to ask me twice—not after I came so close to losing her today. Rolling her on her back, I nudged her thighs apart and entered her—finding her wet and ready. My strokes were long and slow. I made love to her reverently, watching her the whole time. As she fell over the edge of her bliss, I fell with her.

**~)~**

**A/N: I would love to hear your comments. I'm sure there are lots of questions after this chapter and I'll try to answer what I can as long as it doesn't give away future plot lines. **

**The Darkella contest has been extended, so voting doesn't begin until July 15****th****. Details are on my profile. My entry "I Want It Painted Black" has turned into a full length story if you're interested in reading it.**

**As always, reviewers get TEASED!**


	12. Chapter 12 Thinning The Veil

**A/N: I just wanted to say thank you again to those who voted for "I Want It Painted Black," my Darkella's Darkest Temptations entry, which won Voter's Pick! You guys rock! The story is now being continued, and is in the rotation with my other stories for updates.**

**We are getting more of the story behind the story in this update, but some serious drama will start in the next chapter. It's going to get ugly before it gets pretty. :-)**

**Thanks as always to my lovely beta, Jess (jkane180), for her super-fast delivery and awesome suggestions. You should thank her, too, she catches my many mistakes. Mwah!**

**Chapter Twelve**

**~Thinning The Veil~**

**~*Tanya's POV*~**

As I walked down the hushed stone halls of the Castle Volturi, I wondered what kind of reception I would receive from Aro. In years past, he'd shown a great deal of interest in me. My main concern was related to Aro's gift of reading everything one had ever done or thought. I wasn't sure how deep his loyalties to the Cullens went, but in general, the Volturi seemed to only concern themselves with their own laws, tending to stay out of altercations between others. I was counting on that to protect me in this instance, and I was also hoping to distract Aro by using my powers of seduction on him. This was my best chance of survival, and perhaps I would even find a place here, although my vegetarian lifestyle might be frowned upon.

As I entered the throne room, Aro smiled at me. "Tanya, my dear. What a pleasure. Jane, I'd like to meet alone with Tanya."

"But, Master..." Jane protested.

Aro held up a hand. "Just clear the room, Jane."

The little blonde shot me a malevolent look, to which I smiled sweetly in reply. Her eyebrows drew down, wrinkling her forehead, and she stared at me for just a beat too long before turning to the rest of occupants in the room and ushering them out. I realized I would have to tread carefully around Jane—that she could make a formidable enemy, especially with her unique power. It certainly wasn't her sparkling personality that caused the Volturi to hold her in such high esteem.

Once we were alone, Aro waved me up onto the dais, rising to meet me with his hands extended. _Nice try!_ Shaking my head slowly, I ascended the stairs. "Aro, Aro. A woman should be allowed some secrets, yes?" Walking right up to him, I placed my berry-stained lips up to his ear. "I was hoping we could spend some time together while I'm here...quality time...but that would require the use of gloves." I turned my charms on full blast, and I could feel them wrapping around him like a cocoon.

"Tanya, Tanya...such a vixen. I would be delighted to spend some quality time with you. I'll even don gloves for you, my pet. You must tell me what all the fuss is about first though, I'm afraid." His dark eyes were slightly glazed—all I would get from a vampire—if he was human and I used that much of my charm on him, he would have been nearly comatose. But Aro was first and foremost a leader, and no matter how much I wanted to avoid it, I would have to do some talking about what brought me here.

"What fuss, Aro? Has something happened that I'm not aware of?"

Aro clapped his hands together and let out a slightly freakish high-pitched laugh. "Oh, my yes! Two of the Cullen clan have shown up at the gates demanding your head on a stick."

Rosalie and Emmett were here already? _Shit!_ I tried to hide my distress, and I think I did a good job of it.

"Oh? Who's here?"

"Emmett and Rosalie. I have to tell you, I'd usually be more concerned about Emmett, considering his size...but you might want to avoid Rosalie." Aro tittered into his hand. I felt a flare of anger—I was so glad he found my predicament amusing!

"I see. And what is your position, Aro?"

"Tanya, you've come here seeking asylum, yes?" Aro leveled his gaze at me, and his expression was no longer playful.

"Yes, Aro, I have." I dipped my head down in deference to him. Had to play the game, right?

"In my experience, the Cullens are a very peaceful coven. Imagine my shock when those two showed up furiously demanding that you be turned over to them. Tanya, we really don't make it a practice to get involved in the altercations of others unless..._our_ laws have been broken. Have they?"

"Actually, if they have, it's by the Cullens. Bella is still human." A self-satisfied smirk threatened to spread across my face, but I restrained myself.

"I'm quite aware of that fact. Carlisle, Edward and I have come to an arrangement."

"Oh? What might that be?" I asked, curious as hell.

"_That might be_ between Carlisle, Edward and myself." Aro's eyes hardened the slightest bit, and I knew I was on shaky ground.

"I'm sorry, darling Aro, I didn't mean to pry. No, no laws have been broken."

"Then I shall remain neutral in this matter. You are welcome to remain here at Castle Volturi as long as you wish, and as long as you don't drag us into the middle of your skirmish with the Cullens."

"Thank you, Aro. And...what about Rosalie and Emmett?"

"They were told the same thing I just told you. They wouldn't dare try to barge in here. As far as I know, they've left Volterra, but they might still be in Italy—again, not my concern. Are things becoming clear?"

"Crystal. I'd like to plan for an extended stay. Since there might be a problem if I leave the castle...do you think some accommodations could be made for my diet?"

"But, of course, my dear. Although I'll never understand why you'd want to drink that diluted sludge...but to each his or her own."

After making plans for a quiet, gloved interlude in Aro's chambers later on, I headed back to my rooms. As I turned the corner of the hall outside the throne room, I felt eyes burning into me, and I turned to see Jane standing still as a statue in an alcove. Her eyes held undisguised hatred.

"Jane." I nodded to her.

Jane continued to stare me down silently, her lip curled derisively. I continued to walk, and as I passed by, her hand shot out to clamp over my arm like a vise, stopping me in my tracks. "Be careful, Tanya." Her eyes held amusement.

"Careful of what?" I asked innocently.

Jane dropped her hand down, and a chilling smile spread across her petite features as she glided away down the hall. As she turned the corner I heard her say, "You'll figure it out."

For the time being, I was safe inside Volterra. The Cullens couldn't get to me, the wolves couldn't get to me, Damon couldn't get to me...Edward couldn't get to me. At the thought of his name, my dead heart clenched painfully. This was all for him...because of him. If he'd just given me a chance, he would have seen how good we could be together. It was too late for us—even if Bella was removed from the equation, he would hate me forever for what I'd done. I would just have to remain here with Aro, where Edward could never touch me. I would miss my sisters and my life in Alaska, but it was better than running for eternity. At least here Kate and Irina could come and visit me.

Accepting my fate, I decided to embrace my new life.

**~*Damon's POV*~**

Hours had passed...many long hours, waiting to hear word about Bella. Eliza had been upstairs with Edward and Bella for a long time, and I hoped that wasn't a bad sign. In the meantime, I was in a basement room of the Cullens' home with two vampires guarding the door. They were two males, Carlisle and Jasper, and neither of them spoke to me. They weren't cruel or unkind either—they just bid me to stay in this room and not cause trouble. I was more than happy to oblige. After all, I'd done enough damage to those they loved.

The room was small, paneled in wood and held a small grouping of couches surrounding a coffee table. It was a rather sparse room—comfortable, yet uncluttered and without any personalization.

After a while, I heard murmured voices outside the door. I was rather surprised when Edward and Eliza entered the room together. I stiffened involuntarily, knowing this might be the end—that perhaps Edward was here to kill me. I didn't intend to fight him; I would make this easy for him where nothing else about the situation had been.

Edward looked over at me suddenly, shaking his head. "No, Damon, I'm not here to kill you," he said softly.

"What? I don't understand."

Eliza stood slightly behind Edward—not her usual position. She was deferring to him...allowing him to take the lead. My confusion grew.

"Nobody here is going to hurt you, Damon. Bella, Eliza and I have discussed it, and we're going to protect you."

"Excuse me? What the hell is going on here? Eliza?"

Eliza placed a hand on Edward's arm. "May I?" she asked him. Edward nodded. "Damon, there are things you don't know. It's time that you learn the truth about what really happened."

Confusion filled my mind. Edward was standing there calmly agreeing with Eliza? He wasn't trying to kill me? If I wasn't mistaken, there was something akin to sympathy in his eyes. "Am I on fucking Candid Camera or something? We already know what happened—I fucked up—I hurt Bella. Something I will never forgive myself for, even though she was gracious enough to. You said you discussed this with Bella, so I'm assuming you were able to heal her, Eliza. How is she?"

"Bella's completely healed." It was Edward who answered. "Damon, you aren't on Candid Camera. Eliza and I...have come to an understanding with regards to you. I'm willing to follow her suggestions about how to handle the situation."

What the fuck was he babbling about? Did Eliza put a spell on him? Although I knew that was against her principals and sense of ethics, I felt as though I'd entered the Twilight Zone and a spell might be the only likely explanation. If Edward had hurt the love of my life, I would've had my hands gripped around his throat right about now, but this guy was standing in the corner like a GQ model, acting as calm as could be. A slight smirk appeared on Edward's face as though there was something he found amusing.

"Please excuse my frankness...but what the fuck is going on here? Eliza, did you put a spell on him? I just don't understand..." I drifted off, shrugging my shoulders and holding my hands out in a questioning manner.

Eliza looked highly amused—she had a way of doing that at what I thought were the most inappropriate times—but then a look of consternation crossed her face. "Damon, let me ask you a question. Do you remember Lalaine?"

I looked up at her in confusion. Lalaine...Lalaine... My mind whirled around. I had a vague shadowed memory of a girl from Alaska that followed me around in a brooding manner. "You mean from Alaska? The girl who would follow me around pouting because I didn't pay her much mind? What does she have to do with this?"

Edward drew in a breath, his look growing more intense. Eliza came closer, the black leather making a slight creak as she sat beside me on the couch. "Damon, can you think about Lainey again? Remember her face? See if anything else comes to you about her?"

"But why? What does some lovesick girl have to do with this? I can't help it if I didn't return her feelings."

"Damon!" Eliza snapped her fingers in front of my eyes sharply. Her voice softened. "I need you to do this for me. You know me well enough to know that I don't ask things for no good reason, yes?"

"Yes, Eliza," I answered grudgingly.

"Close your eyes, Damon, and listen to my voice. Cast your mind back in time two years, and try to feel what you felt like then. Gently float back in time to the winter and the phasing classes..."

I did as Eliza said; I closed my eyes and relaxed my mind. Soon I was transported to a lost time that seemed so far away that it appeared as though it might have happened to someone else. I could feel the winter chill in the air as the hard ground crunched beneath my feet on the field we used for phasing class. The sky was an iron gray color, and I could feel the moisture building in the air—there would be a snowfall within 48 hours. My eyes drifted to a large boulder where a young woman stood, but I felt repelled by the sight of her—extremely uncomfortable—and I looked away as I continued to walk. Suddenly, I felt a tickle on my nose that nearly drew me out of the vision—it felt like a feather—and I rubbed at my face in irritation. Slowly, I drifted back to the scene of the field. The young woman with the black hair started towards me with a familiar smile, but again, I felt repelled by her and turned away. My arm was grabbed abruptly, and I turned to face Lalaine. Her lip curled up in a snarl as she placed something in my palm. "Here then!" she exclaimed. "If that's how it's to be." Tears filled her eyes, and she turned away quickly, phasing into an eagle and flying high up into the sky. I looked down at my palm and saw a carving of an eagle hanging from a chain. My brow furrowed. Why had she given this to me? Why was she so angry? The harder I tried to think, the farther away the scene receded until I was aware of Eliza speaking gently next to me. My eyes flew open.

"She handed me a carved eagle on a chain. Then she phased and flew away. She was so angry with me, Eliza, but I don't know why."

Eliza took my face between her hands. "Damon, you have the answers. Close your eyes again, and breathe deeply."

She let go of my face, and I breathed in. A scent filled my nostrils...something familiar that I couldn't place. Suddenly a memory started to tease at my mind—a bed, a woman giggling, an eagle on a chain dangling from my fingers...PAIN. "Ahh!" I grabbed my head as an intense pain shot through my head.

"What is it?" Eliza asked with concern.

"My head...it feels like it's being split in two from the inside out." I gripped my head tightly. I kept seeing the eagle on the chain twisting in the air, catching the light, and I was filled with dread. "Oh, Eliza, stop this!" I moaned.

The scent was removed, and Eliza ran her hands over my head gently. "Calm, Damon. Return to me, to the present."

When I opened my eyes, I found the pain had receded, but I felt haunted by the eagle carving. I explained to Edward and Eliza what I had experienced. "Does this make any sense to you? What is that eagle carving, and why was I holding it? Why does my head feel like it's going to split open when I try to remember?"

Eliza looked at me for a good long while, her eyes unreadable. "Damon, I must bring you back to Alaska. There's something there you must see for yourself. I'm sorry to tell you that there are some painful lessons ahead for you—but I also know you can do this. Will you trust me?"

"Of course, I trust you—but I can't go back to Alaska! I'm a hunted man."

"Yes, that remains a problem...Jacob wants nothing more than to rip into you. It's going to be hard, but I can stop him long enough for him to see what I need him to. We leave tonight."

"Okay."

What choice did I have? Somehow Eliza had convinced Edward that I shouldn't be executed; surely she could handle Jacob Black. No matter, I deserved to die for what I'd done.

On their way out of the room, Edward turned back to me. "Damon, for what it's worth, I'm very sorry about what's been done to you. I know you don't understand right now, but I hope you will soon."

I just nodded my head—I was speechless. Edward felt empathy for _me_? I sat back and waited for Eliza to come and get me for the journey home—if I could call it home anymore.

**~*Edward's POV*~**

As Eliza and I left Damon, I had a hard time keeping my emotions in check. She placed her hand on my arm gently. "Not yet, Edward. You and I need to talk privately."

"What about Bella?"

"She's welcome to come with us, but I think she'd be better off asleep where she is. You can fill her in later."

I nodded in agreement as we reached the top of the basement steps and entered the hall just outside the living room. Carlisle and Jasper were conversing in hushed tones on the couch, and they stopped when we entered the room, looking up at us expectantly.

"Damon and Eliza are leaving for Alaska tonight."

"Oh? Is that wise?" asked Carlisle.

Eliza smiled. "I can handle a few stray wolves, Carlisle. Sam will be easy to reason with—it's Jacob that will be the challenge. Sam is his Alpha though, so he'll be able to assist me if need be."

Jasper looked slightly amused. "You didn't seem to need any assistance with the three wolves that showed up at the park. You commanded them as surely as Sam would have."

"I tend to use my powers sparingly, but yes, I could stop Jacob on a dime if necessary." A slight sadness came over her eyes.

"Eliza...I sense deep sadness and personal sacrifice coming from you." Jasper was almost apologetic as he brought this up.

"Oh, yes, I can't forget you're an empath. Yes, it's been necessary to make certain sacrifices so that I might be as powerful as I am for my people. Sometimes we have to forgo our own personal desires for the good of the tribe."

Jasper nodded his head with a great deal of respect.

Carlisle spoke up then. "Eliza, Aaron called while you were downstairs. He said it was a matter of some importance."

"Oh, thank you. Edward, shall we?" Eliza indicated that we should go outside. When we were a distance away from the house, she said, "Edward, may I borrow your phone for a moment?"

"Sure." I handed her my cell. "Do you want me to leave?"

"No, that's all right, Edward."

Eliza sat down on a tree stump, dialing the phone. I tried to read her, but I was still blocked out of her mind—it was as though there was a thick screen of dark smoke around her thoughts. It wasn't that I felt it was important to know what she was thinking...at this point it was merely my own curiosity.

"Rosa, it's Eliza. Is Aaron there? Yes, thank you, my dear."

"Eliza! Where are you?" I could hear Aaron's strained voice coming through the phone.

"I'm in Forks with Damon, Aaron."

"You found him? What the -"

"Aaron, please listen to me. Damon is a victim in this as well, and you will have to trust me on this until I can prove it to you. I'm here with Edward Cullen, and he's agreed that Damon needs to be protected from harm. I can put him on the phone if you wish."

"_Eliza_..." Aaron's voice was exasperated. "You know I trust you implicitly. Your word is enough."

"Thank you," she said softly, and I experienced the first cracks in her mind's armor as the smoke parted, and I could see a handsome Quileute man on his knees before her with pleading eyes.

"Eliza, something's happened since you left. We need you home."

"Damon and I are leaving at dusk. What's happened? Has Jacob Black met Lalaine yet?"

"Yes, he has—but I'm afraid it didn't go...well." Aaron's voice was filled with tension.

"Did they imprint?" Eliza asked.

_Imprint?_ Jacob Black was meant to imprint on Lalaine? But wasn't she in love with...Damon? Perhaps I understood better now what Eliza was speaking of when she told Damon he had a painful journey ahead.

"Yes, but Lainey fought it. Jacob didn't try to fight it, but Lainey was appalled. She tried to run from him -"

"The little fool!" Eliza hissed, closing her eyes. "And now?"

"She's fallen into a coma. Jacob carried her all the way from the phasing field to my place. We watched over her for hours, but she never woke up. She's in the hospital now, and they can't rouse her or tell us why she's in a comatose state."

"I know what to do. Now I understand so many things that didn't make sense to me earlier. I'm bringing Damon straight to the hospital when we get back. Meet me there, and make sure Jacob Black is nowhere in the vicinity."

"Okay. Eliza..." Aaron's voice filled with emotion.

"Yes, Aaron?"

"I – just be careful."

"I will. I'll see you tonight." Eliza had a sad smile on her face as she handed me the phone and another flash hit me.

_Eliza had her back turned to the dark haired man I saw in her mind the first time. They were in a small, round hut filled with tinkling music and lit with candles._

"_Eliza, please..."_

"_Aaron, it must be this way." Her voice was quiet and filled with pain—it was obvious that this was hurting her as much as him._

"_We can find someone else then."_

"_Who? Aaron, this is what I was meant for. I'm sorry if it doesn't fit with your vision of me." She turned toward him, her silvery-blue eyes flashing._

"_Eliza...this isn't just a love affair—you're my imprint, and I'm yours. I love you." Aaron's eyes were pleading with her, filling up with tears that threatened to spill over. He staggered over to where she stood and fell to his knees, hugging her around the waist and laying his head on her stomach. Her hands went to his hair automatically, her fingers running through it soothingly._

"_I'm so sorry. This tribe has to be our first concern—it takes precedence over all of our wants and desires. If I channel the energy from the imprint into my ability, then I'll be able to better advise this tribe. There are things coming up that will require a great deal of power, Aaron."_

"_No! Damn it, Eliza! I won't give you up. I won't."_

"_You have no choice in the matter, Aaron. I refuse you." Her eyes grew steely, and she peeled him off her as easily as though she was twice his size._

My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by Eliza's voice. "Are you enjoying your trip inside my head, Edward Cullen?"

"Oh, Eliza, I'm sorry. I got so caught up; I didn't realize how intrusive I was being."

"It's okay. Even the strongest of us have chinks in our armor, yes? It's always wise to be mindful of that."

"Yes, I suppose it is," I murmured.

"I trust you will keep what you saw to yourself?"

"Of course." I nodded.

"Let's talk about Damon."

"You said that he and Lalaine were in love—he barely seemed to recall who she was. His memory of her was clouded at best, and he kept wondering why you would bring up someone who wasn't significant to him. He kept seeing this carved eagle hanging on a chain though, and that got to him. When it seemed he was closer to a memory, the pain in his head started."

"Yes. Damon's memories have been tampered with. He and Lalaine were deeply in love. They weren't imprinted though, and we all knew it could end some day. The carved eagle on the chain was a gift from Damon to Lalaine on her eighteenth birthday—carved by his own hand. When Damon took up with Tanya..." Eliza spat Tanya's name as though it was a curse. "Well, Damon told Lalaine he needed time apart. Before we knew it, he was with Tanya all the time, and he started treating Lalaine as though they hadn't been in a serious relationship. One day, Lainey slapped the eagle carving into his hand and walked off. Damon dropped it right there on the ground and walked away. Vian, one of our other tribe members, witnessed the exchange and brought the carving to me. I knew then that something wasn't right, but there was a dark veil over certain events—that sometimes happens when something is fated so we aren't tempted to interfere. As strong as I may be...I never would have stood by while Bella was harmed that way." Eliza stopped, shaking her dark head.

"From what Damon's mind was going through when you spoke to him, there's a fog over the memories of Lalaine, and when he focused in on the eagle carving and drew close to a real memory, he got that splitting head pain. He really doesn't remember her. He still believes that he made the decision to hurt Bella, and he feels that he deserves to die."

"Yes, Edward. Your Tanya really did a number on him. Her gift is as a succubus, but I'm not sure how she did this."

"She's not _my_ Tanya," I sneered.

"I'm sorry, Edward; I didn't mean it that way. Do you know anything of how her gift works?" Eliza asked as we walked along a wooded path. All the wildlife grew silent in our wake, and it was so quiet I could hear the leaves rubbing together on the trees, although there was no breeze.

"Well, usually she wouldn't bed the same man twice, so I really don't know what effect her gift might have on someone after prolonged exposure. The other thing to consider is that Damon is a shifter, and that might have some bearing on how he was affected as well."

"Yes! What you say makes sense, Edward. I don't know how long the spell lasts before it wears off, but I need Damon to come back to his senses. I have the sense that Lainey is not going to wake up on her own—she needs Damon there—the Damon who loves her. It's going to tear him apart when he finds out she has imprinted on Jacob, but it's part of his path—unfortunately a very painful part. We all have our crosses to bear." Eliza paused at the edge of a clearing, looking up into the blue sky, a faraway look in her eyes.

"You know what that's like personally, don't you, Eliza?" I asked softly.

She smiled slightly, still looking up. "Yes, I do. You've done your own suffering, Edward, but that's all over now. You've paid your dues, and now you and Bella will have your happy ending."

"I'd like to think that's true."

"It is, Edward. You're going to have a beautiful wedding ceremony in your meadow. I wish I could be there to witness it."

"Come. You're more than welcome to."

"Oh, thank you, but I'm needed elsewhere. Edward, just don't let anything ruin it for the two of you."

"I won't. I would move heaven and earth for my Bella."

**~0~**

When we returned to the house, Bella was awake and having dinner in the kitchen. Before, I would have snuck up on her, but now I always made sure she heard me coming.

"Hey, Edward. Is everything all right? Why do they still have Damon under lock and key downstairs?"

"Hello, Love." I sat on the stool next to her and massaged the back of her neck gently. Bella shivered with pleasure, and her heart rate elevated. "Carlisle accepts that we can't tell him the whole story right now, but he doesn't want to chance Damon running off and getting hurt by one of the wolves. Damon and Eliza are leaving for Alaska tonight."

Bella raised her eyebrows. "Oh? Jacob's there...won't he..."

"It's being handled. Don't worry yourself about it, Bella—Damon is in good hands with Eliza. She's really amazing."

"Yes, she is. I can sense that she's a special and gifted woman. God—look what she did for me! I can never repay her."

Eliza swept into the room at that moment. "And you never _have_ to worry about repaying me, Bella. I'm honored to be able to help. As I said to Edward earlier, you're going to have a beautiful wedding ceremony in your meadow, and I wish you all the happiness in the world."

Damon followed Eliza into the room, with Carlisle and Jasper hanging out in the background.

"So, is this it?" Bella asked. "Are you guys leaving now?"

"Yes, my dear. It's time." Eliza put a comforting hand on Damon's arm. His body was as taut as a bow string, and he looked extremely uncomfortable.

Damon stood near the door of the kitchen. "Bella, I -" He hesitated. "Bella there's nothing I can say that I haven't already. I just have to say again how very sorry I am and what an angel you are for forgiving me even though I don't deserve it." He got choked up at the end, his voice growing hoarse.

Bella got up from the stool and walked over to take his hands in her own. "Damon, I do forgive you. I want you to promise me something."

"Anything," he whispered.

"Trust Eliza. Even when it seems wrong...do what she says?"

Damon's brow creased. "Okay..." he said uncertainly.

"I wish you the best of luck, Damon. I really do, and I know Edward does, too."

I didn't feel the kindness toward Damon that Bella felt—although I did have sympathy for his plight—it was still his body that had violated her, but I knew that he wouldn't have done it if Tanya hasn't compelled him somehow. I joined Bella, putting my arms securely around her waist. "Yes, good luck, Damon. I'm hoping you'll understand more of this soon." I turned to Eliza. "Eliza, I can never thank you enough for what you've done for us."

Eliza waved her hand. "I hate this sentimental stuff. Just be happy; that's how you both can repay me."

And then they were gone.

**~0~**

Later, Bella lay in bed, staring out the window at the clear, moonlit night. She seemed better than she had since the whole attack had happened, and I wondered if Eliza's healing had gone farther than skin deep. It could just be a fluke, but I was hoping this was a lasting change—that the woman waiting in my bed who acted more confident and self-assured today was the Bella I would find every day from here on out.

I slipped into bed behind her, spooning myself against the back of her warm body, and kissed her bare shoulder. My fingers ghosted along the side of her neck, moving her long tresses aside so the graceful curve was exposed to me. The strap of the tank top she was wearing slipped off her shoulder, and I leaned down to kiss her there. She shivered pleasantly as I began to place soft kisses along the side of her neck up to her ear and sucked her lobe into my mouth gently. Reaching my hand around the front of her body, I lifted the edge of her tank, slipping my fingers up to cup one of her breasts, and she drew in a breath, her heart stuttering. I loved the way I could affect her with simple, light touches. The thought of what I could do to her body caused me to grow hard as a rock, and I pressed my hips forward against her. Bella moaned, reaching her arm back to pull my head closer against her neck, and pushed back against my erection. Her little cotton shorts and my pants were off in seconds flat and then my hardness was nestled against the curve of her bottom. I played with her nipple until it was puckered and hard under my touch, then I trailed my fingers down the side of her body to grip her hip as I thrust against her lightly.

"Mm-mm, Edward..." Bella turned her head back toward me, and I kissed her. The warmth of her lips and the heat of her mouth as I pushed my tongue inside was my undoing. I wanted her—wanted to be inside her.

"Bella, I want you," I whispered against her ear.

"I want you, too, Edward."

"I want you like this...from behind you. Is that okay, Love?" I strained to control myself until she let me know what she wanted. It was so hard to stop myself from just parting her legs and plunging into her.

"Oh...yes." Bella was intrigued by this position, and I could smell a fresh wave of arousal wafting on the air.

I growled lightly as I lifted her leg and slipped my hand in between, parting her folds and teasing her clit with a finger. She drew in a sharp breath, and her heart stuttered as she pressed back against me harder. I could feel how wet she was for me, how ready, so I pulled my hand back and shifted my hips forward to enter her from behind. Once I was fully sheathed, I pulled her face back to mine and kissed her deeply as I started to move inside her. Reaching round the front of her body, I teased her clit with my finger as we moved together. She moaned into my mouth, which just made me grow even harder, my hips grinding against her with more urgency. Bella kept pressing back against me, meeting me thrust for thrust. My finger moved faster over her swollen clit, and before long, she was coming apart, breaking away from our kiss to yell out as her body clenched hard around me. I licked a trail up the back of her shoulder and clamped my mouth where the curve met her neck, being careful not to use my teeth. I suckled there as I exploded inside her, the aftershocks of her cresting orgasm adding to the sensation as her walls shuddered and milked me.

"Oh, Edward..."

I dragged my lips away from her neck, admiring the hickey she'd be sporting for a while—my mark, however temporary it was—and kissed her deeply with my arm wrapped tightly around her middle.

"I love you, Bella, my angel," I whispered against her mouth.

"I love you, Edward." Bella shifted her body to face me and cupped my face in her warm hands. "I could never do this without you." Her voice broke as tears started to fall.

I kissed her tears away, worshiping the taste of her on my tongue. "You'll never have to do this without me, Love. I'll always be by your side, loving you and supporting you."

"I know," Bella said sleepily.

I shifted us so she could lay her head on my chest, tucking the covers around her so she wouldn't catch a chill. Before I was fully settled, Bella was fast asleep. I placed a kiss on the top of her head and smiled—a smile that came from deep within.

**~0~**

**A/N: Oh, boy. Can you see where the drama is going to ensue? I'm nervous about writing the next chapter in a way. But I do know right where this story is headed (unless these guys derail me again) and I hope everyone will be satisfied with the conclusion. I have no idea how many chapters we have left, so I won't hazard a guess. A lot still needs to happen! Would love to hear your thoughts, opinions and theories!**

**In the next month or so, look out for the new FreeWriters One Shot Contest, which I will be an admin for along with my buds, Keye and Sandy. We'll be featuring unique themes, and hope to see all you all out there submitting your stories. The link to the contest group will be posted as soon as it's up and running, but in the meantime you might want to join the site where the contest is being hosted—which is run by the talented author ObsessedTwibrarian. It's a **_**censorship free **_**site!**** Link is on my profile.**

**As always, reviewers get TEASED!**


	13. Chapter 13 Through Yonder Window Breaks

**A/N: Let the games begin! There will be some satisfying moments in this one, but there is also a hanky alert.**

**Have I told all my awesome readers lately how much I appreciate you? You guys rock! Thanks for all the chats, support and for recommending my writing to others.**

**Thanks to my lovely pre-readers Keye and Sandy for their valuable input and friendship.**

**Big Jacob hugs to my lovely beta, Jess (jkane180), for helping keep me on track and sounding more coherent, hehe. She's a treasure!**

**Chapter Thirteen**

**~What Light Through Yonder Window Breaks?~**

**~*oOo*~**

**But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?  
It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.  
Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,  
Who is already sick and pale with grief  
That thou, her maid, art far more fair than she.**

Romeo And Juliet Act 2, scene 2, 2–6

**~*oOo*~**

**~*Rosalie's POV*~**

Red. I was seeing red. Everywhere about the piazza there were people wearing red robes—tourists celebrating something they knew nothing about. They frolicked around and mingled in groups. Vendors walked among them selling red robes, snacks, bottled water, and merchandise with pictures of the piazza when it was filled to capacity with red-robed figures.

Red. I was seeing red. A haze of red over my vision after being turned away—politely but firmly—from the Castle Volturi.

I bared my teeth, and the glass beneath my palm made a splintering sound as the window began to crack in its metal frame—the window of the hotel room where Emmett and I were effectively prisoners because of the glaring sunlight that bathed the piazza below.

"Rosie. You're going to break the window, hon." Emmett came up behind me and put his huge hands on my curvy hips, placing a kiss on the juncture between my neck and my shoulder.

The feel of his hands calmed me almost instantly—that was the effect that my Emmett had on me. Nobody else in this world could do for me what Em did. He was my rock, my salvation. Without him, my existence would be sheer hell. As it was, I abhorred what we are—condemned to this eternal existence with no chance for sleep, dreams...or change. Frozen in time right after the most horrific day of my life...forever frozen in time like _this_—bitter and abrasive. Yes, of course I know how everyone sees me—of course I know what I am. My only saving grace was standing behind me...his hands absorbing my ire while his lips infused me with love.

I pulled my palm away from the glass, and instead, I began tapping an impatient tattoo on the sill with my long, red lacquered nails.

"What is it, Rosie?" Emmett asked softly, flicking his tongue against my skin.

I huffed, twirling between his large hands, which still rested on my hips, to face him. "What _is_ it? What the fuck do you think, Em? That – that _whore_ is holed up in the castle enjoying the hospitality and protection of the Volturi! She needs to pay for her crimes. I can't even _believe_ that doddering old fool, Aro, would protect her!" I spat.

"Doddering old fool?" Emmett guffawed. "I'd love to see Aro's face if he heard you call him that!" Leave it to him to target the one thing I said that he could poke fun at.

"Oh, come on! Can't you be serious for a minute?"

"I'm just trying to lighten you up, hon. I do take this seriously; trust me. I really believe that Tanya will get her due—somehow."

"Yeah, well, I'm not looking forward to calling Edward. I'd like to wait another day before we do. I want to check things out tonight and see if maybe that bitch comes out of the castle to hunt."

"Sounds like a plan. Now...we have several more hours of being holed up here due to the sunlight...so can you think of what we might do to pass the time?" Emmett's hands reached around to grab my ass, and he pulled me up against his growing erection. Well, we _were_ stuck inside for the rest of the afternoon...

**~*69*~**

As night fell, I untangled my limbs from Emmett's with a soft sigh. As I sat up, my eyes roved over his hard, chiseled magnificence, and I rejoiced once again that in this hellish existence I had found a piece of heaven. I just couldn't bear to leave that piece of heaven yet...not for the unpleasantness ahead. I straddled him, and his hands automatically reached for my hips as he hardened beneath me. That's my Em...always ready to go.

I licked my cherry-red lips as I looked down on his face which was lit up by a mischievous grin. "Again, Rosie?" he asked with great anticipation.

"Oh, yeah. Again." I lifted my hips and settled down over his huge, pulsing erection. My Em was hung like a horse with the stamina to match.

I ran my lacquered nails over his pecs, lightly at first, then harder as our passion took hold. I often left claw marks on him, but since we heal quickly, it wasn't an issue—he loved it when I got rough with him. Grasping the ornate headboard, I rode him hard and fast, throwing my head back. Emmett drew one hand down over the column of my neck while the other fondled my nipple, his hips thrusting up faster and faster to keep pace with my movements.

"Oh, Rosie, you're so hot. I love your neck, mm-mm."

Emmett had a thing for when my head was thrown back and he could see and touch the creamy expanse of my neck. I guess we all have our little fetishes. I loved having Emmett beneath me, under my control. I suspected that had a lot to do with my past and the way that my ex-fiancé, Royce, and his band of drunken hooligans had attacked me, taking away my choices. Emmett was always willing to give control over to me, knowing that it was something I needed to feel more in command. He was too good to me, and I was thankful all the time that if I had to live this half-life, I at least got to share it with such an unselfish partner this time around.

"Oh, God, Em!" I hissed as my orgasm overtook me, and I exploded into oblivion.

"Ooooh, yeah! You're going to kill me one of these days, Rosie," Emmett groaned.

After we caught our breath, I leaned down to kiss the tip of his nose. "Okay, Emmett, time to hunt us down some succubus."

**~*\/*~**

We walked arm in arm along the cobblestone streets around the Castle Volturi. The night was extremely still, the sky a clear midnight blue, and the moon lent scant light, which merely lengthened the shadows. There was an ominous feeling that pervaded the quietness of the unsuspecting, sleepy little town. As we walked around behind the castle, where it backed up to the woods, we spied Felix dragging a large, trussed up animal behind him.

"Felix! Have you decided to adopt our feeding habits?"

Felix looked over at me, startled.

I whispered conspiratorially, "We usually kill and bury them out in the forest though. We don't drag them home with us."

"Rosalie, Emmett. Good evening." Felix nodded stiffly. "I'm, uh – bringing a meal to a guest. I would never eat something so repulsive." He wrinkled his nose in disgust.

"A _guest_? Don't you mean the _evil succubus_ that's tainting your castle's chambers?" I smirked at him.

"Please, Rosalie, I just do what I'm told—it doesn't mean I agree with the decisions."

"Where's she staying? Which window is hers?" I whispered conspiratorially.

"I can't tell you that," Felix replied, but his eyes gave him away as he glanced up quickly at a room in the tower. A human eye wouldn't have caught the slip, but my vampire vision cataloged it quickly.

"Thanks, Felix!"

"Hey, I didn't tell you anything. You'd better not cause trouble here, not if you want to leave Italy in one piece. Aro has offered Tanya sanctuary, and he'll be angry if you interfere with his decision."

I smiled cheekily. "I promise not to kill her, okay? I just want a chance to...talk. Pretend you never saw me, and I'll do the same."

Felix hesitated for a moment and then nodded, taking his leave.

Emmett looked at me askance. "What are you planning, Rosie?"

"I know I can't go against Aro's wishes, but that doesn't mean I can't put a scare into the bitch." I smiled evilly.

"You're so bad, hon!" Emmett grinned.

"I'll be back shortly." I leaned in for a kiss.

"How are you going to get past the guards?"

"I'm going to scale the wall of Rapunzel's tower, silly."

Quietly, I slipped around to the tower and quickly scaled it until I was just below Tanya's window. I listened for a few moments to be sure she was alone. She was rustling around, sighing often and sounding rather restless. I pulled myself up to peer inside—Tanya was sitting on a red velvet settee to the left of the window, reading a book. Her face was scrunched into a pout, and she muttered to herself, "Ridiculous novel! These women know _nothing_ about seduction. Hmph!"

Leaping up onto the windowsill, I purred, "And you're the expert, huh?"

Tanya nearly catapulted off the settee, sending the book fluttering to the floor with a shriek. "How did you get up here?"

"You're a vampire; use your imagination, you bitch." I landed on the floor, silent as a cat, and strutted over to Tanya, grabbing her by her long, strawberry-blond tresses. Her mouth opened and closed, but no words came out. "Cat got your tongue?" I leered.

Tanya's eyes grew large, and if a vampire could die from fright, I daresay that Tanya would be on her way to meet her maker—the devil himself—right that moment. I wrapped her long hair around my fist and yanked her up until our eyes were level—which left her feet dangling a few inches off the floor. Tanya's mouth opened, but I placed a red lacquered nail against her lips.

"Shh...if you summon anyone, I'll rip your fucking head off and toss it out the window to Emmett. If I'm discovered here, I'll be in trouble anyway, so there's no reason for me not to. Get me?" I hissed at her.

Tanya shut her mouth and just looked at me with fear in her eyes.

"I just want you to know how fucking easy it is to get to you. Do you think if Edward was standing here right now he'd worry about what Aro promised you? Nah. I think he'd rip you to shreds and start a nice fire."

"Edward..." Tanya whimpered, looking lost. _ Sick bitch._

"Don't you even say his name! If you _really _loved Edward, you never would have hurt him that way. You're the sickest viper I've ever come across. To think I once called you family!" I spat a wad of venom on the floor.

"Please...tell Edward how sorry I am." Tanya's eyes glistened with venom, and I'm sure any male in the vicinity might have bought her act. Not me though; I was totally unaffected by her fake charms. I unwound my hand slowly from her hair and dropped her to the floor, where she landed in a quivering heap.

"Tell him yourself—if he gives you a chance before he rips you apart, you fucking whore."

"Please, Rose!"

The door to her chamber opened, and Felix entered, dragging the elk behind him. "Dinner!" he yelled out, dropping the elk unceremoniously with a thud, and then he turned and left the room just as quickly. There was an amused look on his face, and I suspect he'd heard a great deal of our conversation.

"Felix!" Tanya screeched.

Felix opened the door and stuck his head in. "Yes, Tanya?"

"Don't leave me alone with her! Do you realize I've been attacked?"

"You look unharmed to me, Tanya. Good evening, Rosalie." Felix nodded my way with a smirk.

"Oh, my God! Wait until I tell Aro!" Tanya said indignantly.

"Tell Aro what, Tanya? That I came to deliver your_ dinner_ and found you conversing with Rosalie? Has she harmed you in any way?"

"Well, no..."

"Then I bid you both good night." Felix shut the door behind him.

I smiled spitefully. "The Cullens have friends everywhere. You think you're so safe here, but one day Edward just might decide to pay a visit...and then you'll be toast, baby. I'll bring the marshmallows." I jumped up to the windowsill and turned back to look one last time at Tanya. She looked more than a little bit haunted. "Tah-tah now!" With a waggle of my fingers, I jumped from her window.

**~*Damon's POV*~**

It felt strange to be back in Alaska after I'd resigned myself to never returning. Eliza had been extremely tight-lipped and mysterious about this entire trip—which really wasn't unusual for our enigmatic shaman—but in light of the way my life had been going, I wasn't wholly comfortable with it.

"Eliza, why are we at the hospital?"

"Patience, Damon." Eliza turned her wolf-like eyes on me, leaving no room for further questions.

I followed her like a chastised puppy. I felt rather foolish; I was three times her size, and she commanded me with a flash of her captivating eyes. What was it about her?

We walked through the hospital, traversing numerous floors, taking two different elevators—I was astounded by the complexity of hospitals and wondered how anyone found their way around. After what seemed like forever, we reached a private, locked wing. There was a buzzer by the door. Eliza pressed the button and waited. A fuzzy voice crackled through the speaker. "May I help you?"

"I'm expected; my name is Eliza."

"Yes, Ma'am. You're expected in Room 23. Take your first right inside the entrance."

The door buzzed open, and Eliza led the way. The halls were hushed, and most of the rooms along the way were empty. I only saw one orderly as we walked, and I wondered what this ward was for and was more curious than ever about why we were here. I knew better than to try to question Eliza again, so I'd just have to wait and see. Room 23 turned out to be all the way at the end of the hall, and Eliza stopped at the bank of windows outside the door, leaning her hands on the sill with a deep sigh.

"Damon, this is going to be difficult for you, and I apologize in advance. If there was another way for me to do this, I would have chosen it."

"Eliza, you're scaring me. Who's in that room?"

"Come with me, Damon." Eliza held out her hand, and I took it in mine. "I'll be with you every step of the way, and I know you can do this."

Fear filled my huge frame, and I trembled as a feeling of foreboding came over me. As I looked at the innocuous looking door with the number 23 on it, I felt as though if I entered, I might never leave the room again. It seemed ridiculous to feel that way; I knew Eliza would never purposely hurt me. Still, I hesitated as she pushed the door open.

"Damon?" Eliza prompted softly.

Forcing my feet to move, I shuffled slowly into the room. The first thing that struck me was the extreme quiet—no machines humming or beeping, no TV in the background, no sounds whatsoever. The walls were a pale green, the windows covered by sheer white curtains; there was a night table, a chair and one bed. Everything was neat and orderly—unlived in. I almost started to feel a sense of relief, thinking that we were entering an empty room, until I saw the slight form under the sheet on the bed. It was a woman, but her head was turned toward the window, and I could only see that she had long, dark hair. Eliza walked around the side of the bed, stroking the patient's hair affectionately—there was no response to her touch. Eliza looked up at me with tears in her eyes.

"Come." She gestured to me with her free hand.

"Why isn't she responding to you?"

"She's in a coma."

I moved a bit closer. "Shouldn't she be on a ventilator then? Why aren't there any machines?"

"There's no known medical reason for her coma. She can breathe just fine on her own; she just won't wake up."

"Why am I here, Eliza?"

"I'm hoping that you can wake each other up."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"Come," Eliza commanded more firmly, and I felt compelled to follow her instruction.

I stepped up to the bedside across from Eliza, still unable to see the face of the woman in the coma. Gently, Eliza turned the woman's head, sweeping the hair back from her face. It was Lalaine! The girl that used to follow me around—the one that shoved the eagle carving into my hand—the carving that caused me to have terrible headaches when I thought too hard about it.

"That's Lalaine! What happened to her?"

"She imprinted, Damon."

"On who?"

"Your cousin, Jacob."

"What?" For some reason, this caused my insides to twist in an unpleasant way.

"She fought the imprinting, and she fell into a coma. They haven't been able to rouse her, and they have no idea why she won't awaken. I have a theory I want to test."

"And that theory is..."

"As I said—that you can wake each other up."

"I don't understand what you _mean_ by that." Frustration was evident in my voice.

"I know, Damon, and I'm sorry. I want you to take Lainey's hand and look at her."

Trepidation flashed through me again, but I did as Eliza asked and took Lainey's hand in mine. As I did, I felt a strange sensation flooding my body...recognition...as though our hands had been intimately entwined before. But that wasn't possible, was it? I looked down upon her peaceful face, and it appeared as though she was sleeping. Her delicate features were captivating, and I wondered how I had found her attentions annoying. A memory tried to surface..._a bed, tangled sheets, giggling and glasses of champagne_...then a sharp pain shot through my head, and I raised one hand to press on it.

"Ow!"

"What is it?"

"I started to remember this bed with tangled sheets and glasses of champagne, and pain shot through my head."

"Try to relax, Damon. Take it slow," Eliza encouraged.

I continued to look at Lainey's face and feel her soft hand in mine. The sense of intimacy grew until I had this intense feeling that I had forgotten something extremely important. It ballooned until I was filled to bursting with it, but I still didn't know what it meant. I felt as though I was about to explode, and I looked up at Eliza to find her watching me closely.

"You're feeling something," she stated, and I nodded. "Perhaps this will help jog your memory further." She raised her hand, and the eagle carving was dangling from it. I watched it swinging to and fro hypnotically, the chain catching the light.

I drew in my breath sharply as I was hit with a memory.

_The knife moved deftly across the wood, small shavings falling to the floor. When I finished, I admired my handiwork, holding up the eagle and examining it. "She'll love it," I murmured._

I looked up at Eliza sharply. "I carved that!"

"Yes." Eliza smiled at me and nodded her head.

"But...I don't understand."

"You will, my dear."

I looked between the eagle charm and Lainey's peaceful face for a few moments before I was hit with another flash.

"_What's this, Damon?" Lainey asked._

_We were walking along the shore of the lake and stopped to sit on a bench. I handed her a small wrapped box._

"_Happy Birthday, Lainey," I said softly._

_Lainey excitedly ripped at the paper and opened the box, her mouth falling open. "Oh, my God! It's beautiful, Damon!"_

"_I carved it myself."_

"_You did? That makes it even more special. Thank you." Tears filled her eyes, and she threw herself into my arms, hugging me tightly._

What the hell? I made the eagle for Lainey's birthday? How could I forget something like that? Why would I have made such an elaborate gift for a woman that had a crush on me? I shook my head, trying to clear it as pain lanced through it again.

"I gave it to her for her birthday...but why?"

"How does your head feel, Damon?"

"It hurts, but it's not terrible."

"Just take your time, and let it come naturally."

I stroked the familiar hand that I held in mine, wanting to solve the mystery. I examined her features...the long, black hair resting over one shoulder, her pert little nose, beautifully shaped lips, high cheekbones, perfectly arched brows and long sweeping lashes. The only things marring her beauty were the dark shadows beneath her eyes. I swept a finger over one of the dark crescents, and guilt filled me as I feared that I was the one who'd put them there.

More memories flitted through my mind rapidly.

_Lainey and I holding hands as we walked along the lake._

_Running through a field together and tackling her to the ground, trapping her under my body._

_Playing hide and seek in the woods. When I found her, I pushed her up against a tree and kissed her._

_Making love in my bed._

_Fastening the necklace with the eagle on it around her neck._

_Telling her I loved her._

If all these memories were true... but they couldn't be! I'd looked on her with annoyance when she would follow me around brooding. I thought she had a ridiculous crush on me. I'd been in love with Tanya, right?

I explained the memories to Eliza. "How could that be right? I was with Tanya... I thought Lainey's attentions were annoying."

"Damon, you have to get where you need to be on your own. I'm only going to tell you that the memories you just experienced are indeed real."

"But that would mean that I've been suffering some kind of amnesia..."

"It would appear so."

I wracked my brain, trying to remember. I looked down at Lainey's face and traced her cheek with my finger. Her head turned slightly toward where my finger lost contact with her skin!

"Lainey?" I whispered, and suddenly, it all slammed home at once. The memories came flooding back, fluttering past my eyes like one of those cartoons someone draws on a pad of paper—each page has a picture drawn on it, but when rifled through quickly it makes a moving image. The pain in my head reached a crescendo, and I cried out as my vision went dark, and my legs gave out beneath me. I hit the floor on my knees, but my hand never left Lainey's. "No..." I moaned.

Eliza was around the bed in seconds, her hands on my head. "Damon, are you all right?"

"No...it can't be. I couldn't have forgotten her... please, God. This is all my fault!" I yelled out through gritted teeth.

"No, Damon, not your fault."

"My head...and I can't see, Eliza! If I let go of her hand, I'll just disappear!"

"Damon, I know this is difficult, but I need you to calm down. Whatever was done to you is blocking your memories and causing a great deal of pressure in your brain. If you force it too hard, it might cause an aneurysm or some kind of swelling. Give me a chance to do a little bit of healing on your head; stay still for me."

I felt Eliza's hands lightly touching my head, and I could discern a gentle vibrating as they suddenly heated up. The pain started to recede slowly, and my vision came back into focus. I still had Lainey's hand grasped tightly in mine.

"That's it, Damon. You're doing fine." Eliza rubbed at my scalp with her fingers, massaging away all the tension. "You should be able to see now, and the pressure on your brain has been relieved."

"Yes, thank you, Eliza. I – I remember Lainey... I remember our love. I don't know how Tanya did it, but she got me to forget Lainey. No wonder she was so angry and brooding all the time. I told her I needed time away from her, and then I took up with Tanya and completely ignored her!" My voice was agonized.

"I'm not the one you need to talk to, Damon. You understand what it means that she imprinted on Jacob—she will never be yours again—but she fought the imprint because she felt it was disloyal to you and the love she had for you. She didn't want to love the man who was hunting you down. I believe she's waiting for you to wake her up, but then you will have to let her go."

"I know," I whispered. I leaned over Lainey's body, placing my lips next to her ear as I caressed her face. "Lainey, it's me, Damon. I remember us now... Tanya had some kind of spell over me, and I forgot what we meant to each other. I'm so sorry I hurt you. I love you, baby. I know that you don't belong to me anymore, but I need you to know that I love you...that your happiness means the world to me. I want you to hear me, Lainey, please. Wake up... Open those beautiful eyes." I kissed her lips, knowing I would probably never have the chance to again. I felt wetness, and I realized that I was crying—my tears dripping onto Lainey's face and rolling down her cheeks, creating the illusion that she was the one in tears.

I wiped her face with a tissue, then wiped off my own and stroked her face gently. "Please, Lainey. You have to wake up. I know you imprinted on Jacob, and I understand you're not mine anymore. I will always love you, baby, but I know I have to let you go. It's okay; I need you to know that it's okay."

I stopped talking and kept stroking her face. A few minutes later, I felt a light squeeze of my hand. "Lainey?"

She was definitely gripping my hand. I squeezed back. She started to make small movements—her legs twitching, her nose wrinkling, her lips moving—then her eyelids fluttered a few times before her big brown eyes were looking into mine. "Damon?" she whispered, her voice raspy from disuse. "You're really here?"

"I'm really here."

"That wasn't all a dream? Tanya really put a spell on you so you'd forget about me?" She coughed, trying to clear her throat several times. "My throat is so dry."

Eliza poured some water into a cup from a pitcher on the counter and handed it to me. I lifted Lainey's head and helped her sip a little bit.

"Lainey, I could never treat you that way. Tanya did something to me, and Eliza helped me to remember. I'm so ashamed that her spell even worked on me. Can you ever forgive me?"

Lainey looked up at me with tenderness. "Of course I forgive you, Damon. I just don't understand what you were thinking when you – when you attacked Bella." She looked away.

Eliza stepped up to answer before I could. "Oh, that was Tanya's doing, too. Damon would never do anything of the sort."

I drew back in shock. "You mean...I didn't...how did she..." I drifted off, unable to process what Eliza was insinuating.

"Damon, you're a victim, too. You were used to hurt Bella, yes, but you did not attack her on your own. You were put under a spell to attack Bella just as surely as you were made to forget Lainey."

"Is that why Edward was so forgiving with me?"

"Yes. I told Edward the truth."

"And Bella?"

"Bella actually forgave you on her own _without _knowing the truth. She's a truly unique and special individual. There aren't many like her around. She does know the truth now though."

Anger started to bubble to the surface inside me. "If you knew the truth, why didn't you_ tell _me?"

"You needed to remember Lainey on your own. This is all part of your path, and I'm not allowed to interfere in certain events, as much as I'd like to. I'm sorry you had to go through this, Damon."

"No, Eliza, it's not your fault; I know you're only doing what you're supposed to. But Tanya is another story."

Lainey spoke softly, "Eliza, does this mean that Damon didn't attack Bella on his own? He wasn't himself when it happened?"

"That's correct, my dear. Damon was Tanya's puppet. She first scrambled his mind to forget you, and then she programmed him to go after Bella for her. Damon never would have done something so heinous on his own. We're still not sure exactly how she did it, but Edward and I have discussed a few theories that we want to explore."

Lainey started to sob then, the tears flowing freely down her face. She was having trouble dragging air into her lungs, and I sat her up and plumped some pillows behind her.

"Lainey, what is it?" I asked softly.

"Damon, I imprinted on J-Jacob. We can never be together again. So much time got wasted because of Tanya. If she hadn't done this...we might have married and had children."

"But it wouldn't have been where you were supposed to be, Lainey. I love you so much; I love you enough to want you to be with the man you belong to. Now that I know I'm not evil...that I didn't hurt you and Bella on purpose...I'll find a way to go on as long as I know you're happy."

"But I rejected the imprint. I told Jacob to get lost."

"That's why you're in the hospital—it's why you were in a coma. Eliza had a feeling that we could wake each other up, and as usual, she was right."

Suddenly, the door slammed open and there stood Jacob Black, his nostrils flaring. _Oh shit._

**~*Edward's POV*~**

Bella slept in my arms, and there was no sleep-talking tonight. I was content to lie there listening to her even breaths, to feel the beat of her heart reverberating in my chest, which was pressed up against her back, and to have the security of knowing that my strong arms were holding her close. My mind drifted over our lovemaking, and I grew hard against her bottom. I adjusted my hips so I wouldn't wake her with my friskiness—she really needed her sleep.

My cell vibrated on the nightstand, and I saw that it was Rosalie. Snatching up the phone, I whispered, "Yes?"

"Hey, Edward."

"Rose. How's it going?"

"I found the bitch."

"You don't sound happy...why is that?"

"She sought refuge with the Volturi, and Aro has offered her asylum. Emmett and I spoke to him, but he said that none of _their_ laws were broken, so he's not getting involved. He said to remind you that _you_ are currently under special dispensation for breaking their laws."

I growled low in my throat, my body tensing up. "So, he's protecting that bitch?"

"I'm afraid so. I do have one piece of news though..." With glee, Rosalie relayed her visit to Tanya up in the tower. I snorted with laughter when I thought about the abject terror that Rose must have inflicted upon her. Then she gave me Tanya's message.

"She had the balls to try to say sorry after all this? Rose, you don't even know the half of what she's done. I made a promise not to tell anyone yet, but let me tell you, it's far worse than any of us ever imagined. She's truly sick and twisted."

"I'm sorry I couldn't do more, Edward. You should have seen Felix! He was a trooper. He walked right out on the bitch while she was shrieking about me being there to hurt her, after just dumping the elk into her room! Hilarious! I have a new respect for him."

"Come home, Rose. You two have done enough, and I owe you."

"What now, Edward?"

"I'm going to Italy."

"What?" Rose's shocked voice came over the line.

"_What?_" Bella sat up suddenly, turning her face toward me with wide eyes.

**~*Jacob's POV*~**

Sam forced me to leave Lainey's side at the hospital to go back to the cabin to get some sleep. He had to Alpha command me to do it, and I found myself lying there, staring at the rough-hewn ceiling. The ache in my chest had receded to a dull roaring—very uncomfortable, but livable. Finally, tired of pretending to sleep, I made my way down to the kitchen to make a sandwich. There was a note from Sam.

_Jacob,_

_Went to phasing class. See you at dinner._

_Sam_

Well, he didn't say anything about _staying_ here—he just commanded me to come back and try to sleep. I tried; I failed. As I contemplated whether or not to go back to the hospital—knowing full well that Sam was going to be pissed as hell—I felt a sudden increase in the tugging pain in my chest. It felt like my heart was about to explode as it pumped furiously, and I felt an extreme pull to be with Lainey. Maybe she was awake or something had happened with her condition! Without another thought, I raced out the door and headed straight to the hospital.

When I got to the locked wing, I hit the buzzer and gave my name. Since I was on the approved list, they let me right in. As I strode up the hall, I could hear voices coming from Lainey's room. What I heard made me see red.

"_That's why you're in the hospital—it's why you were in a coma. Eliza had a feeling that we could wake each other up and, as usual, she was right."_

The male voice must belong to Damon. Eliza had brought him back here to try to wake Lainey! I slammed the door open, my nostrils flaring as I took in the sight before me—Damon was holding Lainey's hand while Eliza hovered in the background.

"Oh, fuck no! You did _not_ bring this atrocity back to Alaska and let him near _my imprint_!" I yelled at Eliza.

"Jacob Black, you need to calm down right now." Eliza placed herself between me and Damon.

"If you think putting yourself in between us will stop me, you've got another think coming, Eliza. Lady or not, I _will _move you if I have to!"

"STAND DOWN, JACOB!" Eliza held her hand palm out, and what came out of her mouth felt and sounded like an Alpha command.

I smirked. "They didn't tell you, did they? _I'm_ the true Alpha of our tribe, not Sam. I allowed him to take the position, but it's mine by heredity. You can't command me, Eliza." I strode past her and stopped dead when I saw Lainey was indeed awake, and her mouth was hanging open, eyes wide with fear.

"No..." Lainey whispered, grabbing onto Damon's arm.

"No, Lainey, let go of me! If he phases here, you might get hurt." Damon pulled away from Lainey's grasp and moved closer to my clutches with a resigned look. "I won't fight you, Jacob. Nobody else should get hurt."

"NO!" Lainey sat up in bed shrieking. "Jacob, please, I beg you—don't hurt Damon. You need to know the whole story!"

"Jacob Black!" Eliza snapped. "You're about to make a mistake. It's not one you can take back. You don't have the whole truth; you're operating under falsehoods."

"Right. Did you snow Lainey with some bullshit, Damon? Eliza, I know you want to believe him, but he's no good. He _raped_ Bella! Can you deny it, Damon?"

"No, I can't deny it."

"Then I've heard all I need to."

"No, you haven't!" Lainey wailed, trying to get out of the bed.

"Lainey, no!" Eliza called out, but it was too late, and she slumped into a heap on the floor.

Damon and I both reached for her at the same time, and I snarled at him. "_Don't _touch her."

Damon backed off, leaning against the wall. I crouched down next to Lainey and tentatively put my hands on her arms. "Lainey?" I asked gently.

Lainey continued to cry softly, but she managed to look up at me with wide eyes. "Please, Jacob," was all she could get out. I lifted her in my arms and placed her back on the bed.

"Shh...try to calm down, Lainey. You're going to be okay; I promise."

"Jacob, he didn't do what you think he did. He's a victim, too. Please..."

I turned to Damon. "Did you or did you not rape Bella?"

Eliza held her hand up. "There's more to it than that, Jacob."

My eyes were trained on Damon, and I asked him again slowly, "Did you or did you not rape Bella?"

"I did." Damon swallowed convulsively.

"See? That wasn't so hard, now, was it? At least not for you, you son of a bitch!" I ran the few feet between us, ramming full into him—hearing the screams of Eliza and Lainey behind us as we both hit the edge of the windowsill and crashed through the glass, falling two floors to the ground below.

**~*oOo*~**

**A/N: Lay it on me! I know...evil cliffie, but the chapter was getting rather long and I had to stop somewhere. Plus, I love cliffies...insert evil laugh.**

**Fic Rec this week: ****Triggered**** by MissusMelancholy. Set after Edward leaves Bella in NM. Edward comes back for Bella, but he's not in his right mind. It's about ten chapters in, and I'm loving it! This is one of those fics that should have many more reviews than it does. You heard it here first!**

**Reviewers will be TEASED mercilessly!**


	14. Chapter 14 Standing On The Edge

**A/N: Hello everyone! First, I'd like to apologize for not updating sooner. Real life has me in its grip, and I'm also working on my own original fiction (as some of you already know) which I'm trying to balance out with fanfiction. I have **_**not**_** given up on any of my stories, and I won't. Updates will be out as quickly as possible, but as I stated in the blurb on my profile—I refuse to post a chapter just to 'get something out.'**

**I'd like to thank all of my loyal readers and friends who support my writing, wait patiently (for the most part) for my updates, and give me the desire to keep writing. A heartfelt thank you to Keye and Sandy for being extra-special friends and for pre-reading all my fanfic as well as my own original fic. You guys rock!**

**Read my A/N at the end for details on the new one-shot contest. We are in need of readers and authors alike!**

**Thanks and big Emmett bear hugs to my beta, Jess (jkane180), for getting this back to me in record time! Mwah! (I still think she might be a vampire)**

**~*oOo*~**

**Chapter Fourteen**

**~Standing On The Edge~**

**SONG FOR THIS CHAPTER: LOSE IT**_** ~ ATREYU**_

**~*oOo*~**

_**Excerpt from Lose It by Atreyu**_

_**If I take this leap,  
to fail or succeed,  
I'm dying to know.**_

_**This is it, I'm shaking.  
My body's aching,  
I lose my hold,  
I will let go.**_

_**This is it, I'm falling.  
My wings need to grow.  
I lose my hold,  
I will let go.**_

_**There's so many roads,  
pitfalls filled with doubt.  
I'm dying to know. **_

**~*oOo*~**

_**Previously**_

_Lainey continued to cry softly, but she managed to look up at me with wide eyes. "Please, Jacob," was all she could get out. I lifted her in my arms and placed her back on the bed._

_"Shh...try to calm down, Lainey. You're going to be okay; I promise."_

_"Jacob, he didn't do what you think he did. He's a victim, too. Please..."_

_I turned to Damon. "Did you or did you not rape Bella?"_

_Eliza held her hand up. "There's more to it than that, Jacob."_

_My eyes were trained on Damon, and I asked him again slowly, "Did you or did you not rape Bella?"_

_"I did." Damon swallowed convulsively._

_"See? That wasn't so hard, now, was it? At least not for you, you son of a bitch!" I ran the few feet between us, ramming full into him—hearing the screams of Eliza and Lainey behind us as we both hit the edge of the windowsill and crashed through the glass, falling two floors to the ground below._

**~*oOo*~**

**~*Jacob's POV*~**

As I fell from the window, it was with much surprise and shock that I found myself phasing into a lion. My very first time phasing into my spirit animal, and it was to kill my first cousin. Cats always land on their feet, and I was no exception—I landed on the thick pads of my huge paws with an angry _ROAR _as I acclimated to my new body, which felt heavier and denser than that of a wolf.

I searched around me for Damon, but the only creature I spied was a little Starling sitting in the grass about ten feet away. Raising my head, I saw Eliza leaning out the window above, a concerned look on her face. Lainey started shrieking again, and Eliza disappeared back inside.

Left alone, I took in my surroundings—a large, grassy clearing edging up to the woods, to the left of me was an old shed, and just beyond that were some old trucks that looked like they'd rusted in place over many years. Suddenly, I understood the locked wing and the bank of windows that overlooked this grassy expanse—it was for the Quileutes. When one of us was sick or injured, phasing could become quite unpredictable, and our unique healing abilities made it dangerous for us to be amongst the general population of a hospital.

Rather abruptly, I found myself mind-linked with Damon.

_Hold it together, Damon. He's going to kill you; accept it and just hope he does it quickly. It doesn't matter if Tanya tricked you. The only thing that matters is that both Bella and Lainey know the truth now._

My head swung to one side, then the other, but I saw no sign of Damon. My long, ropey tail flicked at the air in annoyance, and I opened my now-massive jaws wide and let out a roar of displeasure.

_Where are you, Damon, you coward? I'm disgusted that it's even possible to mind-link with the likes of you, but I know you're close by._

_Coward? You think__** I'm**__ a coward? I'm right here, you Neanderthal! See the little, bitty Starling at your massive feet? Go ahead—__**eat me**__._

Sitting on my haunches, I was taken aback by the audacity of Damon. He was in a little Starling body _mocking_ me? He really did have a death wish, didn't he?

_No, no death wish; just a desire to put an end to this. I've lost everything, Jacob—my mind, my __**will**__, the love of my life—just fucking kill me already! I've made it so easy for you!_

The muscles in my powerful front legs twitched. I forgot that Damon could hear my thoughts, and I grew uncomfortable with that fact. What was he on about anyway? Lost his mind and his will? Bella was the one who really lost something. Throwing back my head, I roared again, pawing at the air. I wasn't about to just pad over and swallow the canary, so to speak.

_Aw, fuck! Why do you have to be like that, Jacob? I'm not going to fight you. Here, then._

And right before my eyes, Damon phased back into his human form and knelt before me, naked.

"For the love of all that's holy, Jacob Black, just be done with this! Don't make Lainey suffer. What kind of imprint are you if you allow her to agonize over me? I accept my death, and I won't fight you." Damon's words were impassioned, his eyes met mine boldly, and when he was finished speaking, he hung his head and waited for death.

I closed the distance between us, breathing my hot breath right over his bent head. One medium strength swipe of my paw would be all that it would take to separate his head from his body.

I raised my paw; then I slammed it against his chest, knocking him to the ground. I stepped over his prone body so he was beneath my large trunk, and I was aware that I could pulverize his bones to dust just by laying down on him. There were three long scratches across his right pectoral muscle, where my claws had caught him, that were freely bleeding, but he never uttered a sound. He simply lay still and looked up at the sky, quietly waiting for death.

It was one wish I fully intended to grant him.

I roared in his face, and I suspected he could feel the blast of heat coming from deep inside me. I gnashed my teeth, allowing him to hear the sound they made as they ground against one another.

Still, he never flinched. It was almost as though he _wanted_ to die.

I opened my large jaws.

I leaned down.

"If you kill him, you'll never have me." Her words were whispered, but they had the effect of a hundred people screaming.

I halted my movements toward Damon, turning my head slowly to see Lainey down on the grass in a wheelchair, pushed by Eliza. Eliza's face was unreadable, and she said nothing.

My eyes returned to my imprint. Lainey looked so slight, swallowed up by the wheelchair and the blanket over her lap, her long, dark hair resting over one shoulder, her beautiful face tense—but her eyes — oh, her eyes! — they were so dark and angry, and they sparked like flint as they met mine. My knees went weak at the sight of her, and I took a small step away from Damon's body.

"I mean it," she continued. "I don't care what happens to either of us—if you kill Damon, you will _never_ have me. You need to sit your stubborn ass down and listen to the whole story before you make judgments, Jacob Black."

My head cocked to the side, and I padded closer to her—_needing_ to be closer to the object of my affections. I purred as I felt the love and protection of a lion over his mate course through me.

"Lainey, don't do this! I'm not worth hurting yourself over." Damon's voice came from behind me, shattering the peaceful feeling that had started to fill me. Becoming angry, I turned and roared at him, rising up on my back legs and pawing at the air.

"Shut up, Damon; let me handle this," Lainey snapped.

"Eliza?" Damon questioned.

"This is now between Lainey and Jacob, Damon. I suggest you allow nature to take its course. I have nothing further to say; I've done what I came to do." Eliza bent her head in deference. "Jacob, there are some clothes in the shed over there. I think your conversation with Lainey might go a bit more smoothly if you can communicate with her. She'll be unable to phase for a while yet."

Nodding my ascent, I padded into the trees and phased back into my human form. I grabbed some clothes out of the shed for myself and Damon, quickly dressing myself. I stalked over to him and threw a pair of sweats at him, muttering, "Get covered up, will ya'?"

Everyone managed to keep a straight face, with the exception of Eliza, who looked openly amused. So what else was new?

"Nice on-the-fly phase earlier, Jacob," Eliza complimented.

"Thanks." I ducked my head shyly, unsure if it was appropriate to be prideful at this moment.

"Hmph!" Lainey crossed her arms, glaring at me.

Oh, but she was so beautiful, and even though she was staring daggers at me, my heart opened up and bloomed. I would give her anything, be anything, do anything...

I fell to my knees next to the wheelchair, holding out my hand. "Please, Lainey, can I hold your hand?"

Lainey continued to glare at me. "_You're_ the true Alpha of your tribe? Well, I think it's a good thing that you handed it off to someone with more common sense then, Jacob Black! You're so impulsive and emotional. Not at all Alpha material in my eyes." Her face was set, lower lip pushed out the slightest bit, and she continued to keep her arms crossed tightly over her chest.

Her words bit into me like acid being poured over an open wound. _This_ is what my imprint thought of me? That I was just some impulsive jerk? From her description, I sounded like such an asshole. _Was_ I being an asshole?

"I'm sorry, Lainey. Ever since I found out what _he_ did to Bella, all I've dreamed about is ending his life. Yes, it made me crazy and a bit irrational, I'll admit." I rested my hands gently on her knees, hoping that would be acceptable, and she didn't rebuff me. "Please, won't you at least try to understand my side of things, too?" My voice was soft and pleading.

Lainey's eyes filled with tears, and she looked up at the gentle blue sky, trying to blink them away. "I've known Damon Black my entire life—I've loved him since I was a child. I just met you about five minutes before slipping into a coma. This is all so surreal, Jacob." Lainey sighed deeply, rubbing her hands up and down her arms vigorously. "You need to put aside your personal feelings and biases long enough to hear what really happened with Damon and Tanya."

Swallowing my pride, I nodded. "Yes, I'll listen, Lainey. Tell me what happened."

"Can we go for a walk? The sunshine feels so good after being in a coma." She smiled shyly.

"Can you stand? Is it okay?"

"Eliza? Is it okay? Can we take a walk and have some privacy?" Lainey looked over her shoulder at Eliza.

"Yes, it's fine. Damon and I will wait for you up in your room."

Lainey stiffened as she was reminded of Damon, who was still seated on the ground a few yards away. "Damon? You – you won't leave?"

"No, of course not, Lainey. I'm done running—no matter what the decision turns out to be." Damon's eyes were filled with love for Lainey, followed by the pain of knowing she was no longer his. I looked away from his face, feeling uncomfortable.

"Okay, Jacob, let's go."

I helped Lainey stand up from the chair, and although she was slightly unsteady on her feet, I found her to have a surprisingly strong grip. I offered my arm, and she looped hers in it as we strolled down the wooded path behind the hospital.

For a while, we walked without speaking, just enjoying the sounds of the birds twittering and the gentle breeze rustling through the leaves on the trees. The path consisted of smooth, packed dirt and meandered its way through the trees, making for a very pleasant walk. Eventually, we reached a small stream with a wooden bench beside it, and I suggested that we sit there to talk.

Lainey sank down to the bench with a deep sigh, looking down at her hands, which she clasped together on her lap. It was then that I noticed she was wearing sweats rather than the hospital gown she'd been wearing when I first burst into her hospital room. _Eliza—_she must have known we'd be taking this walk. My mind wandered for a second, wondering what it must be like to have gifts like Eliza did—to be willing to give up your imprint for the sake of your tribe. She was such a strong woman. Could I be strong now? For my imprint, could I put aside all the hatred that had been boiling inside me since the conversation at the Cullens' house the night that I found out that Bella was raped by _my _flesh and blood? I had to try because if I killed Damon, and it turned out that he wasn't as guilty as I'd assumed he was, then I would lose Lainey forever. Having experienced the pain in my chest when she turned away from me, it wasn't something I ever wanted to feel again.

Gently, I took Lainey's hands in mine. "Lainey, I'm sorry I've been such a jerk. When I came down to the phasing field, I had no idea that you were in love with Damon or that there was even a possibility that he – that there might be more to the story. I allowed my anger to lead me around by the nose, and I hope you can forgive me someday." She continued to look down, but the tension in her face and body loosened just a little bit. I lifted one of my hands to caress the side of her face and tuck an errant strand of hair behind her ear. "I'm ready to listen. I don't think you or Eliza would lie to me, so please tell me what I need to know."

Lainey smiled sadly, squeezing my hand. "Thank you, Jacob. This is has been so hard for me because I've known Damon my entire life, and I've loved him since I was old enough to know what love is. We were going to spend our lives together..." Her breathing hitched, and a few tears landed softly on our joined hands. "When I heard that Damon was on the run...that he'd _raped_ someone...I was horrified. The Damon I knew would never do such a thing—but I didn't feel as though I knew him anymore because he'd left me for Tanya without a backward glance. I should have known something was wrong—especially when I gave him back the eagle necklace he made for me, and he didn't even react—in fact, he looked at it as though he'd never seen it before. Part of me feels guilty because I should have told someone, should have investigated. Instead, I sulked and turned away from everyone. Once Damon was on the run, I was ashamed to show my face around here.

"It never sat right with me that Damon would rape someone though. He's been troubled at times, and he's had a difficult relationship with his father because he resents that he never got a choice of whether or not to be a part of your tribe—that he was taken away from his family with no chance to ever know them. God, it must hurt him to know that his own family now wants him dead. But Damon would never purposely hurt a fly—not unless he was backed into a corner—or brainwashed."

Lainey drifted off, looking up at the sky and wiping her tears away. I put an arm around her, pulling her to me slowly so I didn't spook her—but I needn't have worried because she willingly leaned into my side, resting her head on my shoulder with a soft sigh.

"Lainey, I'm so sorry you've had to go through all this. I'm especially sorry that I made it worse. So, you're saying that Tanya brainwashed Damon? How?"

"Tanya's vampiric gift is as a succubus. Her fun in life is seducing men, sleeping with them and then moving on...but with Damon, she had a long-term relationship, and the affects of her gift for an extended period of time on a shape-shifter is unknown. Eliza said she discussed it with Edward, and they think Tanya might have greater influence over a shifter than a human—enough so that she was able to brainwash him to forget about his love for me and, eventually, convince him to rape Bella by exploiting his Achilles heel—his missing family. Tanya convinced him that Bella was going to start a war between your tribe and the vampires—that she was sleeping around with both sides. She painted an ugly picture of Bella as a whore then acted helpless and hurt, all the while influencing Damon with her gifts.

"You should have seen him in my room before you got here, Jacob! He didn't remember me or our love. Eliza helped him to remember, but he got these horrible pains in his head every time he accessed his memories of me. Jacob, Eliza said that Edward knows the truth about Damon, and he gave his blessing for Damon to return home with her."

Hearing all of this was amazing, but to hear that Edward let Damon go—that he believed all this—was eye-opening. Edward was fiercely protective of Bella, and if he accepted this as the truth, then I _had_ to consider the possibility.

"I'd like to speak to Edward, if you don't mind."

"I welcome it, Jacob. Anything that will help you to see the truth."

I dialed Edward's cell, but it went straight to voice mail. _Damn. _"Edward, it's Jacob. When you get this, I need you to call me—it's important. Thanks, man." I looked up at the sky with a sigh, this time fighting back my own tears. "Lainey, you've been through so much. No matter what happens, this much I know—you don't deserve any of this pain, and I'm so sorry for my part in it."

"Thank you," she said shyly. The softness of her tone drew my eyes to her delicate but strong face, and I saw that her gaze was resting on me with a kinder look than before. Lainey was truly beautiful, and she obviously had a gentle soul.

"I'll take you back to your room, Lainey." I stood, reaching my hands down to help her up. When she stood to her full height, the top of her head barely grazed my shoulder—yet this little one could be quite fierce when her ire was stirred up. I faced her, holding her hands in mine. "I hope someday you can stand to be near me. I know you probably hate the sight of me after what I've done."

Lainey's eyes widened. "Is that what you think?" A small smile played about her lips, and her cheeks bloomed a beautiful pink. Surprised, I just stared at her like a moron. She raised her eyes to meet mine. "Jacob, you're very...easy on the eyes. I'd have a hard time resisting you even if I _didn't_ imprint on you. I was so angry about the feelings that were coming up inside me."

Hope surfaced, but I tamped it back down. "You mean you're attracted to me? You don't hate me?"

"I'm very attracted to you, Jacob. I wanted to hate you—but even at my angriest, I just wanted to crawl into your arms. It's hard to ask comfort from the man who wants to kill your ex though. I'm sorry I gave you such a hard time."

My heart soared, and the steel clamp that had been wrapped around it since I imprinted let go. Feelings of love and protectiveness flooded through me, and I wanted nothing more than to take this little slip of a woman and keep her from every bad thing in the world. "Lainey, may I...hold you?" I asked tentatively.

Lainey smiled for real then—a full blown smile that lit up my world—and it was for _me._ She slipped into my arms, and it was as though she had always been meant to be there.

The drama was far from over, but for the first time since Bella chose Edward over me, I felt like my life had a chance to right itself.

**~*oOo*~**

**~*Bella's POV*~**

As I surfaced from my slumber, I immediately sensed the loss of Edward's body spooned around mine. I knew it was probably boring for him to babysit me while I slept, but I loved waking up to his strong, comforting arms—it was what kept me sane during all of this horror I'd been going through.

You might think finding out that Damon was a victim in this would make me feel better—but somehow it made me feel worse. I felt helpless again, and an anger was starting to bubble up inside of me of a magnitude that I wasn't aware I was even capable of. The problem was that I wasn't completely sure where to direct my anger and, worse yet, if Tanya had orchestrated this whole thing against me just because she wanted Edward, I didn't know if I would be able to forgive her. I forgave Damon so easily when I thought he'd raped me, but to plot out something so sinister, knowing full well what you were doing—I knew it was harmful to hold resentment deep in my heart, but I wasn't ready to let this go.

My nightmares had returned, except this time instead of sleep talking, I would dream of Edward abandoning me. I'd find myself all alone at the site of the destroyed cottage, and Edward would walk away—I could only see his retreating back—and no matter how much I yelled and pleaded, he would never turn around or stop for me. Sometimes I would run after him, the jagged pieces of debris from the cottage slicing into my bare feet, but I never caught up to him, and he never looked back.

A frisson of fear jolted through my heart as I heard Edward talking on the phone, and my dream didn't seem as crazy as it had before.

"Come home, Rose. You two have done enough, and I owe you." Edward's velvet voice flowed over me like melted chocolate.

After a brief pause, during which I assumed Rose asked Edward what he was going to do next, his voice grew determined and steely as he replied, "I'm going to Italy."

"_What_?" I couldn't hide the abject terror in my voice. This was it—this was my nightmare given breath in the light of day—Edward was going to Italy. Who knew what could happen while he was there? What if he never returned to me? How would I survive without his touch—how would I sleep at night without his body curled around mine?

I sat straight up, the sheet slipping away from my nakedness—and I didn't even notice. My mouth opened and closed, the air leaving my lungs, and it felt as though a huge weight was crushing my chest. Little sparkles started to prick at the edges of my vision, narrowing my field of view, and I knew I was about to lose consciousness.

From a distance, I could hear Edward. "Rose, I have to go—I'll call you later!" He tossed the phone on the floor, and then his arms were encircling me. "Bella? Bella, can you hear me, Love? Speak to me!" Edward tipped my face up, his concerned, golden eyes meeting mine, but I was unable to speak as I internalized my worst fears.

_No, he can't leave me! Oh, God, please. I'll never make it without him. I'll never sleep again or smile again. Remember last time he left? The hole in my chest...good God, the hole in my chest..._

"Bella? Bella!" Cool hands caressed my face as his sweet breath ghosted over me, and I breathed him in like a balm. My heart continued to beat furiously, but at least I could draw in air—as long as it was tinged with the heavenly scent of Edward.

Blinking slowly, I tried to focus on his topaz eyes. "Edward..." I rasped out. "Please...don't leave me." Then the dam burst, and I couldn't stop the torrent of tears that fell or the wracking sobs that escaped from my constricted throat.

Edward looked truly horrified—and confused. He tried to wipe my tears away with the pads of his thumbs, but finally gave up and drew me close to his body, just rocking me on the bed. "Bella, what's this all about? Did you have a bad dream? I promised you I'd never leave you again, and I won't—I can't. There's nothing for me without you." His whispered words wrapped around and caressed me better than his arms ever could have at that moment.

"B-But you s-said you were g-going to Italy..." I blubbered.

"Oh, Bella." He pulled me in tighter against his rock hard body and let out a sigh. "Not without you, Love. Did you really think I would separate us after all that's happened? Do you think I would put that much distance between us when I can hardly bear to hunt right now?"

I snuggled against his chest, enjoying the feel of his cool hands on my bare back as they rubbed small circles there. "I don't understand."

"I'm taking you with me."

"Oh!" It was the only thing I could get out. It never occurred to me that Edward might take me to Italy with him.

"Of course, I need to discuss this with Carlisle and have him call Aro first. You _are_ still human, and although we have an agreement in place, I want to be sure they won't go back on it if we show up there."

"I'm sorry I doubted you...I've been having these nightmares about you leaving me..." I trailed off.

"Bella, why didn't you tell me about the nightmares? How long has this been going on?"

I sighed deeply, pressing my face deeper into his chest. "Since we found out that Damon was innocent—just a few days."

"Oh, Bella, you have to tell me about things like this. Promise me you won't do this again." He planted a kiss on top of my head.

"I promise."

"I love you, my angel. I'm so sorry about the dreams. Do you think you can handle coming to Italy with me? If not, I won't go."

"I love you, too, Edward. And yes, I can handle Italy. I think it might be good for me to do something other than lay around this house. Let's talk to Carlisle."

I moved to get up, but Edward stopped me. "Not so fast, Love. Carlisle is at the hospital, and we're naked...in bed. I could think of some better things we could do while we wait for him to come home." I pulled my head back and looked up at him to see my favorite crooked smile.

"My, my..."

"We don't have to do anything, Bella. I shouldn't have said that." Edward looked embarrassed. "I can just hold you."

"Edward, what you said was fine—and I'd love to get frisky with you." I cocked an eyebrow at him.

Suddenly, the mood turned more serious. Edward held my face between his hands, bringing his cool lips down to meet mine. He sucked my top lip between his gently. My hands roamed freely over his sculpted chest, and I quickly forgot all about nightmares and Italy.

Edward's mouth moved softly against mine, and I ran my hands up into the tangled mess of his hair, anchoring my fingers firmly. His hands tightened on my back, pulling me in closer to his body, and then he shifted us down to the bed so his body was hovering over mine. I could feel his arousal pressed up against my thigh, and my body responded in kind. His lips left mine to kiss their way down my neck, eventually closing over one of my rosy buds, which pebbled up and tightened in response.

"Make love to me, Edward."

"Are you sure, Love? You were just so upset. We don't have to -"

"Very sure," I interrupted, pulling his head back down to my straining nipple. He obliged by swirling his tongue around it, which sent sparks shooting to my core. "Oh..."

Edward kissed his way down my stomach, then hesitated, speaking against my skin—the rumble of his voice, along with the words he said, drenching me further with arousal. "Bella? I want to taste you."

"Yes," I whispered, my body already kicking into overdrive with anticipation.

He shifted himself down between my legs, placing soft kisses along the inside of my thigh. One of his hands slid around the curve of my hip. I could feel a cool puff of his breath over my heat, and I writhed on the bed, waiting for his mouth to be all over me. Edward groaned. "Bella, your scent is so intoxicating..." He parted my folds with the fingers of his other hand, and I fisted the sheets, throwing my head back as I ached for him to get started.

"Edward, please..." I begged. I felt his lips as he kissed me there—nips that drew my tight little bundle of nerves into a frenzy and had me salivating for more. "More, Edward..." I panted. And then his soft, wet tongue was licking and swirling around—sometimes feather light, sometimes harder. He eventually settled into a rhythm of long, firm licks that brought me right to the brink, and as I fell over the edge of oblivion, my entire body felt like it was coming apart at a cellular level. I cried out his name, grabbing fistfuls of his hair and holding on for dear life.

As I came down, he crawled slowly up the bed, looking meaningfully into my eyes. When he leaned down to kiss me, I could taste myself on his lips, and I found myself turned on by it. His hardness pressed against my thigh, and I shifted my body, trying to draw him in.

"Are you ready, Love?'

"Yes," I whispered, still breathing hard.

Edward lined himself up with my center, pushing in slow and steady, until he was fully inside me. He pulled back and sank into me over and over again, slowly and languidly, setting my body on fire. We gazed into each other's eyes as he made love to me, and our connection somehow grew stronger than ever before. The build-up to our release was a slow, burning one, and he came with a soft cry, his eyes still blazing into mine.

Afterward, we lay together with our limbs entwined and my head on his chest. I drew designs on his firm pecs with my index finger, just enjoying being with him. Edward ran his fingers lightly through my hair, sending shivers of pleasure through me.

Reality reared its ugly head, and I knew we had issues to deal with. "Edward, do you really think it'll be okay for me to come to Italy?" I asked tentatively.

"Don't worry, Love; if Aro doesn't agree to uphold his end of the agreement, then we won't go. Whatever you need—whatever is best for you."

"Why are you going to Italy, Edward? What happened?"

Edward was silent for a moment, a soft sigh escaping him as he continued to stroke my arm lightly. "Tanya has sought asylum with the Volturi, and Aro has agreed to allow her to stay there. Aro doesn't want to get involved in an altercation between us because none of the _Volturi's_ laws have been breached by Tanya. Rosalie paid a visit to Tanya and gave her a good scare, but we're limited as to what we can do without angering Aro. I want to go there and speak to him myself. It might make no difference, but I at least want to try."

"I see. What do you really hope to accomplish?"

"Facing the enemy head on. At the least I want to make it known that Tanya is dead to this family—that she is a vile, disgusting creature with no conscience. She wants to live amongst them? Fine. But I'll be damned if she does it in complete comfort—they should all know what she's done—what she's capable of. Not to mention, she owes you an apology. She should kiss your feet." Edward punctuated his little tirade with a menacing growl.

"Edward, I doubt Tanya will apologize to me, or that she's even sorry for what she did, but I love you for wanting that. I agree though; they should know what she's done. Who knows what trouble she might try to cause within their walls. So, let's go to Italy." I raised my head, placing my chin on his chest and smiling up at him. "I can't help but think of the last time—the only time—I was in Italy. Circumstances were so dire, and I thought I might have lost you forever. Now we'll be going back there together, presenting a united front."

"We'll always be together now, Bella. I promise you I'll never allow anything to come between us again—especially not my own stubborn stupidity." Edward smiled crookedly.

Edward's phone kept beeping every so often, indicating there was a message. "Don't you think you'd better check that?"

"Yes, I suppose I should." He leaned down and snagged the phone. "Hmm...it's from Jacob."

My heart beat faster at the sound of Jacob's name. Damon and Eliza would be back in Alaska by now, and I hoped that things had gone smoothly.

Edward listened to his voice-mail on speaker. _'Edward, it's Jacob. When you get this, I need you to call me—it's important. Thanks, man.' _My heart contracted at the sound of Jacob's voice—something was wrong. Your average person might think he sounded fine, but knowing him as well as I did, I knew he was upset.

"Jacob's upset, Edward—I can hear it in his voice."

"We'll call him right now."

**~*oOo*~**

**~*Damon's POV*~**

The absence of sound in Lainey's room was a comfort to me. In this locked wing of the hospital, personnel didn't come and go frequently. Everything was scheduled, and everyone knew that discretion was the name of the game. Any non-Quileutes that were employed in the locked wing had to sign non-disclosure agreements, but the tribe tried their best to make sure that the wing was staffed with Quileutes whenever possible.

I leaned my head back against the wall, slumping down in the chair next to the windows as I tried to make sense of all that I had experienced today. My eyes fluttered closed, and all I could see was Lainey's beautiful face. Now that my memories had been returned to me, I loved her more than ever, but I could never have her. We would never walk by the lake again, share our hopes and dreams...make love. Lainey belonged to Jacob, and I wouldn't do anything to try to stand in the way of that.

My heart had pumped furiously when I heard Lainey's quiet but sure voice advise Jacob that if he killed me, he would never have her. She was so strong and true. Jacob had no idea how lucky he was, but he would find out if he ever earned her loyalty.

I heard the soft whoosh of the door gliding open, and I cracked my eyelids open slightly to see Eliza enter the room. She amazed me with her sure, confident navigation through life—always seeming to know where she was heading and what the right thing was even when the line was blurry to others. There was an underlying sadness she carried with her though, and it was something I was only just beginning to understand.

"Who is he?"

Eliza's head snapped up, and her silvery wolf eyes met mine. "Excuse me?"

"Who's the guy? The one you gave up?"

A small smile touched her lips, but it never reached her eyes. "Where is this coming from, Damon?"

"From my broken heart. I've always seen this underlying sadness in you, but now I recognize it for what it is. You gave up someone you love, too, didn't you?"

Eliza moved to the windows, leaning on her palms as she looked out, and I could see her in profile. "Yes, Damon, I had to sacrifice love. It's not an easy road, but I'm so proud of the way you're handling yourself, and you should be, too."

"I'm in too much pain to be proud of myself," I laughed bitterly. "You still didn't answer me," I prodded gently.

"Aaron."

"_Aaron_?" That was one answer I wasn't expecting.

"Yes."

"But, I don't understand...why aren't you together?"

"Damon, this isn't common tribe knowledge, so it needs to stay here."

"I'll never tell. After what you've done for me, I'd lay down in front of a Mack truck for you, Eliza."

"Aaron is my imprint. I rejected the imprinting and channeled it into my gift for the sake of the tribe. I have chosen to remain alone because I could never allow anyone else to touch me—not knowing who my imprint is."

"Oh, Eliza, I'm so sorry. It must be difficult to see him all the time..." I trailed off, thinking of Lainey. Where would she live now? Would she go home with Jacob or would he move to Alaska?

"You're wondering about Lalaine and Jacob."

"Yeah." I closed my eyes, but her face was there whether they were open or closed—and so was the pain.

"I don't know where they'll be yet, Damon. This story is not over. You and Jacob still have things to reconcile."

"Is he going to kill me then?"

"No. The two of you are family, and you have things to work on—together."

"Oh, I don't think so. Even if he doesn't kill me, he certainly doesn't consider me family. The only thing he wants to work on with me is his right hook." I smiled self-deprecatingly.

"Wait and see, Damon."

"What about...my father?"

"He's still catatonic. I feel that he'll come out of it once things are settled."

"What things?"

Eliza smirked at me—that annoying little smirk she sported when she knew something but wasn't going to say a word. I rolled my eyes, letting out a heavy sigh.

"Gosh, Eliza, it must get exhausting to be you—having to know what you can and can't say."

"Sometimes, yes." Eliza nodded her head thoughtfully. "It's also intensely satisfying to be able to help others. Anything worth doing has both rewards and drawbacks."

The door opened, and Jacob walked into the room with Lainey. Their fingers were laced together, and my heart clenched tightly in response.

"We need to talk, Damon." Jacob looked serious.

My eyes flicked over to Lainey, who didn't appear too worried. "Okay, Jacob. Where do you want to talk?"

"Let's take a walk. Alone."

_Gulp._

**~*oOo*~**

**A/N: Pack your bags...we're going to Italy! Ciao, Italia!**

**The FreeWriters One-Shot Contest is now up and ready to go! It's a contest group with unique new themes which will be announced periodically. We'll be utilizing double-blind polling to ensure a fair and honest contest. We need authors to write one-shots and readers to read and vote on their favorite stories. The first theme will be announced within the week. The links are on my profile. Come join us for a lot of fun! If you have any problems joining, please drop me a line.**


	15. Chapter 15 Even As I'm Taken Apart

**A/N: Things went a little different this chapter than I expected... but what else is new with my characters? I know better by now than to fight with them because they always win. As always I thank you, my ever patient and loyal readers, for waiting for my updates. With so much else to read out there, it feels good to know I'm not doing this for an audience of one.**

**Thanks to my pre-readers and partners in crime, Keye and Sandy, for their friendship, squealing and support. You guys help keep me sane... somewhat.**

**Love and appreciation to my awesome beta, Jess (jkane180), who is like the post man...come rain or cold or sleet or snow...she always delivers! **

**{§§§}**

**Chapter Fifteen**

**~Even As I'm Taken Apart, You Put Me Together~**

_**How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being ~ Oscar Wilde**_

**~*Damon's POV*~**

Although Jacob seemed a bit more civilized toward me, I still felt as though I was walking into the mouth of the lion by taking off alone with him. He led the way through the paths behind the hospital, heading to a bench with a pretty view of a bubbling stream—a somewhat tranquil, romantic setting—which belied the seriousness of our situation. I could also smell the scent of him and Lainey here, and I knew this very bench is probably where they worked things out; they _did_ come back to her room hand in hand, after all.

Jacob didn't speak a word the whole time we moved through the hospital or traveled the pathway to the little clearing with the bench. I was psyched out, wondering what he had in store for me, but maybe that was the whole point. He walked slightly ahead of me but still beside me; the message was clear though—Jacob was in charge.

When we arrived in the clearing, Jacob didn't bother with silly niceties such as asking if I wanted a seat—that would have been ridiculous—I immediately started pacing around the small patch of ground, my pent up energy, fear and frustration needing a way to escape. To his credit, he showed an immense amount of control; he simply placed a foot on the bench, leaning an elbow on his bent knee, and watched me with a blank expression as I continued pacing like a caged animal—essentially what I was.

Eventually, I couldn't take another moment of his silent, steady gaze. "For the love of all that's holy, Jacob! _Say_ something! _Do_ something!" I threw my hands in the air, letting out a huff of frustration.

"Letting you work off some of your energy first. This conversation will be short if you're all hopped up, Damon." Jacob narrowed his eyes at me in an appraising way.

I let out a short, bitter laugh. "Of course I have a lot of energy to work off! God, man, I've been running for my life because of that stupid whore of a vampire! I had no idea what she'd done to me! I tossed Lainey aside like she was a piece of trash when that is the _furthest_ thing from the truth; she didn't deserve to go through any of that. I still find it hard to believe, and if it wasn't coming from Eliza herself, I _wouldn't_ believe that Tanya brainwashed me so thoroughly that I – that I -" The words wouldn't come out, and I hung my head, digging my fingers into my hair harshly with a frustrated groan as I fell to my knees.

"That you _raped_ Bella?" Jacob finished for me softly. There was no sign of the previous vitriol in his voice, which surprised me.

I continued to stare down at the dirt beneath me as I yanked at my hair, the pain helping me to stay somewhat grounded. "Yes," I whispered hoarsely. "I deserve to die."

"Ah, and that's exactly why you don't deserve to die, Damon." Jacob's tone was full of irony, and I looked up sharply at his words to find him looking vaguely amused in a bitter way.

"Come again?"

"I spoke to Eliza about you; I spoke to Lainey about you; then I spoke to Edward Cullen about you—the vampire that has been the bane of my very existence for so long. Ironically, the one that convinced me _not_ to kill you was Edward. He's so damn protective over Bella, and if _he_ believes in your innocence, then I had to consider it as well. After hearing everything from Eliza, Lainey and Edward, then listening to how willing you are to die for what happened, I realized that if you had meant to do it, you'd be trying to get out of it. But you haven't done that, Damon! You practically put your fool head into the mouth of a lion intent on killing your ass. The kind of sick fuck that would have raped Bella without remorse wouldn't have done that." Jacob shook his head and began stalking around as well, slapping his thighs with his hands. "To think that I almost killed you without a second thought... even though Eliza warned me how impulsive and stupid I was being! Jesus Christ, Damon."

During Jacob's speech, I stilled, looking up at him in surprise, unable to form anything coherent to say. Now Jacob didn't think me guilty either? He believed I deserved to live? So many people rallied to my side because of Eliza—I owed her so much—but none of it really mattered because Lainey wasn't mine anymore. How could my own body have betrayed me to the degree that Tanya was able to make me forget the woman I loved? For that alone I deserved whatever pain came my way. What did I do now anyway? I had nothing to anchor me to this world—nothing. "I have nothing. I am nothing." I must have spoken without realizing it; I meant to keep the thoughts to myself.

"I used to think much the same way after Bella rejected me for Edward, but I got my shit together. I was still alone, but I realized that there was more to me than the desire to be part of a couple."

"Yeah, well, you have people that love and care about you. Nobody in Alaska gives a shit about me. They didn't like me that much before, but now... well, I know there's nothing for me here."

"Come to La Push with me," Jacob said quietly.

"What?"

"Come and meet your family. I know my father would like to meet you, and once the rest of the guys know the truth, they'll welcome you with open arms."

"Are you fucking for real, Jacob? How can you even stand to look at me?"

"I was wrong, Damon. Once I allowed my anger to dissipate, I could see that deep down you're a good man. You're my family, and I should welcome you to my home. Come to La Push. Maybe you can figure out from there what you want to do with the rest of your life."

"I have no life without Lainey," I muttered. I shot an apologetic look at Jacob. "Sorry. I just can't picture life without her." I swallowed around the huge lump in my throat, fighting back tears.

Jacob's face softened, and he came over to clap me on the shoulder. "Now _that_ I understand better than you could ever know, brother. I'll tell you what a wise man told me—she wasn't your imprint, which means there was always a chance one of you would be forced to leave the other someday. Don't give up, Damon. Hell, if _I_ could find a semblance of happiness after what happened with Bella and Edward..."

"Thank you, Jacob. You have no idea how much it means to me that you've extended your hospitality out to me. I'd like to meet my family."

Jacob held a hand out to help me to my feet. In companionable silence, we walked back to the hospital together—side by side.

**~*Edward's POV*~**

The sounds of Bella's lullaby wafted through the house as my fingers gently caressed the keys of my piano. Eyes closed, I swayed to the notes of the song I'd written for Bella as they wrapped around me softly. I heard Bella's heartbeat coming closer, drawn by the strains of her lullaby. She placed her hands on the back of my neck, scratching her fingers in my hair.

"Sit with me, love."

"Edward..." she began tentatively, her heart rate spiking.

I stopped playing and turned on the piano bench to look up into her lovely face. "What is it?"

Her eyes dropped to the floor, and her cheeks reddened. "I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Is everything all right, Bella?"

"Oh, yes! Well... I wanted to discuss Italy and our wedding. I'd like to go to Italy after the wedding. I want to enter the Castle Volturi as Mrs. Edward Cullen." Her voice was barely a whisper.

Pulling her down on my lap, I rubbed light circles on her back. "What's this all about, love? Talk to me."

Bella snaked her arms around my neck, resting her head on my shoulder, effectively cutting off my view of her face. "I want to be your wife when we go to Italy, that's all."

"Why?"

"Do I need a reason?"

"No... you know I want you to be my wife more than anything; I'm just wondering why you want to get married before Italy."

"This might seem silly to you, but I think I'll feel stronger and more confident if I can face Tanya—and even the Volturi—as your wife. Edward, I need this." Her fingers twined tightly with mine, and she chewed her lip anxiously.

"Okay. Let's do this." I smiled crookedly at her.

"Really? You aren't going to argue over the extra few weeks it will take to get to Italy?" Bella's eyes flew to mine in surprise; she was expecting an argument, which made me a little sad because I would do anything for her.

Sighing, I brushed her cheek with my knuckles. "Bella, I would do anything for you; I thought you knew that, love. There is nothing more important to me than you and your happiness. If you want to go to Italy as Mrs. Edward Cullen, then you shall. It would be my great honor."

Bella's eyes filled with happiness. She lifted off my lap, repositioning herself so she was straddling me on the piano bench with her legs clamped around my body. My hands automatically went around her waist to hold her steady, and I rubbed gentle circles on her back. She brought her hands up to cup my face. "I love you, Edward Cullen," she whispered, and then her lips were on mine, so soft and warm.

My body responded to Bella's attentions, which happened more readily since the night I destroyed the cottage and our own walls had broken down. My mouth met hers hungrily, my fingers lifting the edge of her shirt and moving along her bare skin. A shiver ran through her, and she moaned softly, letting me know it was borne of pleasure, not distaste for my cold hands.

Suddenly, our impromptu make-out session was interrupted by the front door slamming open. Alice flew into the room with a squeal. "What a great idea! I love the idea of you getting married before Italy! We have so much left to finish planning over the next few weeks..."

Rolling my eyes, I released Bella into the hands of my maniac sister, turning back to the piano to hide my raging hard-on. One thought about Tanya was all it took to deflate it. Bet Tanya didn't know thinking of her was better than a cold shower could ever be for me. My anger was also stirred by thoughts of her, and the song I was playing took on darker tones. A few of the piano keys cracked beneath my fingers—something that hadn't happened to me in several decades. Knowing that Bella was in the capable hands of Alice, I took off running to burn off some steam.

**{§§§}**

Later in the evening when Carlisle returned from the hospital, Bella and I sat in the study with him to discuss our desire to go to Italy. I held Bella's hand tightly in mine, and I could hear her heart beating at a higher than normal rate, her breathing shallow.

_Edward, do you think this is wise, and do you think Bella should go with you? _ Carlisle sat behind his desk with his hands folded, a look of concern marring his perfect features.

"Yes, Carlisle. I need to do this—_we_ need to do this."

"When were you thinking of going?"

"In a few weeks... after the wedding. Bella would like to be married first." I couldn't help the crooked grin that spread over my face.

Carlisle smiled at us. "That's wonderful. I think it might actually help your case if you go to Italy as husband and wife. If you were to show up there unmarried... well, the Volturi might think you aren't taking your agreement seriously."

"Carlisle, I was hoping you would call Aro on our behalf... to smooth the way. Perhaps if you let him know we'd like to come, and the reason that Bella is still human?"

"I'd be happy to, Edward." Carlisle nodded. _I don't know how Aro will react though, Edward. He may not care about the trauma and want her changed immediately._

I nodded imperceptibly to let him know I understood.

Carlisle called the Castle Volturi, and after several minutes, Aro came on the line. I, of course, had no problem hearing both sides of the conversation. Bella moved over to the couch, toeing her shoes off, and tucked her feet beneath her, while I remained seated in front of Carlisle's desk.

"Carlisle, my friend! To what do I owe the phone call?" Aro's overenthusiastic voice came through the line.

"Hello, Aro. I have a matter of some importance to discuss with you."

"Oh, this sounds serious. Is it regarding young Edward?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact. Edward would like to come to Volterra in a few weeks to pay a visit with his bride."

"His _bride_? Does that mean that the lovely Bella is one of us now?" Aro sounded intrigued.

"No, not yet. They're getting married on schedule, and we would still like to beg your understanding on the matter of changing Bella so soon after her... trauma." I could tell Carlisle was treading carefully. Aro was a bit of a megalomaniac and liked to see his own will done above all else.

"Hmm, I see. Well, how is she coming along from her... _trauma_?" Aro asked in a way that drew a low growl from me.

"Now, Aro, you know the time since this happened has been but the blink of an eye for our kind—in fact, it hasn't been very long in human terms, either. Being a doctor that deals with humans on a daily basis, I know there is no exact timetable for this sort of thing; however, Bella is doing extremely well. I expect she'll be ready for her transformation long before the average human would."

"I see. So, why exactly _does_ Edward wish to come here with his new bride, reminding me of the extension I so kindly bestowed on the lovely Bella's life?"

Another growl built in my chest, and this time Bella heard; I could see her glance up at me sharply in my peripheral vision, but I continued to look steadily at Carlisle's impassive expression.

"Aro, Edward wishes an audience with you to explain what Tanya did to Bella."

"Tanya is my guest; I've told her she's welcome to stay here as long as she likes. We will not get involved in non-Volturi matters." Aro's voice was cold and tight. "You say what _Tanya_ did to Bella... is he claiming that Tanya raped Bella now?"

I stood up, fists clenched, the chair falling to the floor behind me. Carlisle held up a warning hand, and I gritted my teeth.

"Aro, Edward would like the chance to tell his and Bella's side of the story. You've obviously heard Tanya's side—although I'm fairly certain she won't allow you to touch her—and he feels it's only fair that you hear him. He understands that Tanya is your guest, and you have no intention of getting in the middle."

I stood in the center of Carlisle's study, body taught as a bow string, until I felt Bella's warmth pressing against the back of me. I turned to take her in my arms, and she led me over to the couch with her, where she sat on my lap and peppered soft kisses over my neck.

There was a long silence on the other end of the line before Aro finally spoke. "I will allow it, old friend. I do this only because it is your son. I will hear what Edward and Bella have to say, but I will not change my stance on this matter."

"And we have your word that if Bella comes there human, she will be allowed to remain human? You will give her the time she needs to heal before her transformation?"

"Yes, you have my word, Carlisle. Just so you know, I don't like what was done to the lovely Bella. She's a remarkable young lady, and I look forward to the day she's one of us. I suspect her gifts will be something else. Tell Edward and Bella I look forward to their visit, and they can come here with complete confidence."

"I'll be accompanying them as well." My head came up, my eyes meeting his in surprise; we hadn't discussed Carlisle coming to Italy.

_I think it's best, Edward. Aro will be on his best behavior with me there._

"Wonderful! It's always a pleasure to have you here, old friend. Will your lovely wife be coming, too?" Aro's enthusiasm sounded rather forced at this point, and I suspected that Carlisle was right to come with us.

"I'm not sure, Aro. Esme has some big interior decorating jobs she's been working on, and I don't know that she'd be able to get the time off."

"Well, we'll be waiting for your visit. I look forward to seeing all of you. Please extend my well wishes for the upcoming wedding!"

"Will do. See you soon, Aro."

When Carlisle hung up, I hissed. "That bastard!"

"Edward, he probably knew you were listening—or at the least that you would read the conversation in my mind later on. Aro likes to have his fun. I think it best if I come with you, even if he did agree to keep his word."

"Thank you, Father."

Bella looked between us, confused. "What was he saying that had you so upset, Edward?"

I lifted her hand to my lips and kissed her knuckles. "Please don't worry over it, love. Aro was just being Aro, and I was just being...me." I smiled crookedly.

**{§§§}**

**~*Lalaine's POV*~**

After Jacob and Damon left my room, I started to shake. Eliza looked over from her post by my window and gave me a reassuring smile. "Lalaine, they'll be okay."

I narrowed my eyes at Eliza. "Is that something you actually _see,_ or are you just trying to make me feel better?"

"Something I see, my dear." Eliza looked reproachful. "Jacob and Damon are family, and they have things to work on together. You won't be able to phase for a while yet, so you'll have to book a flight."

"A flight? To where?" My brow scrunched up in consternation; trying to follow the path of Eliza was likely to give one whiplash.

"La Push."

"Why would I go there? Didn't you just say Jacob and Damon have unfinished business?"

"Yes; it will begin when you go to La Push to meet their family. Jacob is going to bring Damon home with him, and I suspect as Jacob's imprint, you'll be going along, too."

"I'll believe _that_ when I see it!" I laughed out loud. Eliza was gifted, but she must have cracked her crystal ball or something. We'd be lucky if Jacob didn't maim Damon; I certainly didn't think he'd be inviting him home to the Reservation.

Eliza shrugged, a smug look on her face, and turned back to the window. Suddenly, a shiver ran through her body. "So much hatred and anger left to resolve..." she whispered.

"What?"

"Nothing, my sweet. You get some rest; you're going to need it before your trip. I'll go talk to the doctors about when we can get you out of here."

Eliza swept out of the room, and I was left alone with my thoughts. My talk with Jacob played over again in my mind... how sweet he was and how hard he tried to be understanding about Damon's place in my heart. I was really harsh on Jacob at first, unable to accept that the man who wanted to kill Damon was my imprint, and unable to accept that my love for Damon was cut short by Tanya's deception. All the agony I'd gone through over the past several months was because Tanya chose to cast her spell over my man. I knew Jacob was my imprint, that I belonged with him for the rest of our lives, but I couldn't help but mourn the time I'd lost with Damon. Tears filled my eyes when I thought of Damon and what he'd been put through because of Tanya. If I felt this horrid, I couldn't even imagine how _he_ felt, and yet, he was willing to die for what he'd been brainwashed into doing. How could there be anyone who didn't see what I saw—that he was a good man that had been dealt a shitty hand? Anger flared inside me, and I wanted nothing more than to rip Tanya limb from limb—she'd better hope we never crossed paths because I would rip into her sorry ass without mercy.

Tears coursed down my cheeks as I thought of all that I missed out on with Damon, all that we could never have. It seemed so unfair that he was left alone and unloved—although a part of me would always love him even though I could no longer be his. "Oh, Damon..." I whispered.

Then there was Jacob. He was handsome and strong. At first I wasn't impressed with him, but the way he turned it all around and listened to reason was admirable. He listened to Eliza, to me and to Edward Cullen, who was the vampire that wooed Bella away. He proved that he was open-minded enough to listen and hear all the facts before making a final decision, for which I admired him a great deal. Jacob was also easy on the eyes, and something deep inside me was pulled to him in a way I'd never experienced before. I'd heard rumors about imprinting, but the real thing was so much more powerful than in the imagination! The crushing pain in my chest when I tried to reject Jacob, or was separated from him, was unbelievable. I suspected my body went into the coma as a self defense mechanism because I was so torn over following my natural instincts to accept Jacob as my imprint over my long-time love for, and desire to protect, Damon.

Before I could do any more thinking, the door to my room opened, and in walked Jacob and Damon. The two men I loved most in the world were standing on either side of my bed, and I was overwhelmed with emotion. My eyes shifted back and forth between them, not sure where to look first.

"It's okay, Lainey," Jacob said softly, taking my hand. "I know this is hard for you, and I'm not foolish enough to think you're going to forget Damon overnight. The two of you were cheated out of so much, and I'm sorry for that."

"Y-You are?" I stammered.

"Yes, baby. How about I give the two of you a little time to talk?" Jacob offered, kissing my hand.

"You would do that?" I whispered.

"I would do anything for you, Lainey."

"Thank you, Jacob." I squeezed his hand.

"I'll be back in a little while. Damon." Jacob nodded to Damon and then left the room.

I looked after him in shock, still unable to believe he left Damon alone with me. Jacob was being so wonderful and supportive, and I felt an intense feeling of gratitude flow through me. A warm touch jolted me out of my reverie, and I turned my head to see Damon standing next to my bed looking down shyly. Damon's fingers touched my skin lightly, and I grasped his hand in mine.

"Damon..."

"Lainey, it's so good to see you." Damon's eyes met mine, tears glistening in their depths. He sat on the edge of my bed, bringing our joined hands to rest against his cheek, his eyes slipping closed. "I'm so damn sorry! I'll never be able to make any of it up to you."

"Damon, don't." I shook my head, even though his eyes were still closed and he couldn't see me. "Who's going to make all this up to you? Who's going to make this right for _you_?"

"Ah, Lainey, don't worry about me. The one thing I wanted was for you to know the truth about what Tanya did to us. I hate what she put you through." Damon opened his eyes, and they were filled with pain.

"Damon, please don't worry about me! I – I have Jacob now. I worry about you though... being alone. We lost so much time because of that bitch!" Tears welled up in my eyes, and Damon wiped a few away that spilled over.

"Shh... Lainey." Damon pulled me into his arms, and it felt wonderful and wrong all at the same time. I clung to him though, digging my fingers into his hard biceps and pressing my tear-stained face into his massive chest.

He kissed the top of my head, whispering calming words to me, which released the sobs that were stuck in my throat. With abandon, I sobbed into his shirt, beating at his chest with my little fists. "Why, Damon? Why? _Why_?"

Damon never tried to stop me from battering him or discouraged my hysterical tears. He stroked my hair, rubbed my back and cooed softly to me. "It's okay, Lainey. Let it all out, sweetheart. I'm so sorry."

Damon was putting me first, as he always did. Here he was... life destroyed, alone with no mate, distrusted by his own people, a hunted man until a few minutes ago, recently found out that Tanya had brainwashed him out of his life... and he was comforting me. The kind of person that he was deep inside didn't allow for the kind of horror that had been committed the day Bella was raped, and once again, I berated myself for my selfishness and ignorance—for not realizing right away that something wasn't right.

"Oh, stop! Damon, stop!" I pleaded, holding onto him even tighter. "How can you be worried about me when you're the real victim among us? I feel so guilty that I didn't see..."

Damon pulled back, looking down at me with a hint of anger glittering in his dark eyes. "Wait—what the hell do _you_ feel guilty about, Laine? Jesus, if there's anyone in this world that has a shred of guilt, it's not you." He shook his head, jaw set.

"But, Damon, I should have _known_ you would never hurt Bella that way! That you would never have left me that way! I was so blind... I sulked and crawled away to lick my wounds, shutting everyone and everything out. If I'd been thinking straight, I could have helped you avoid all this." I gripped the front of his shirt in my fists, my voice growing more emotional with each word.

Damon grabbed me by the arms, giving me a gentle shake. "_No_. You aren't responsible for any of this, sweetheart. You're right when you say I've been through hell, but don't put me through more by taking on any of the burden of guilt that belongs squarely in Tanya's treacherous lap. _ Tanya_ did this. Tanya, and Tanya alone, is to blame. Laine, I lost you forever, but don't make it worse. I couldn't stand it if I thought you were berating yourself over what you had no control over. Even if you did recognize there was an issue, that doesn't mean you would have been successful in stopping it. Eliza herself was unable to see the events clearly because it was destined to happen."

"You really believe all this? You believe I'm completely innocent? That Eliza's right when she says it was destiny? All this pain for everyone—you, me, Bella, Edward, Jacob—all destiny?"

"Yes."

"You're stronger than I am then. I have a hard time swallowing all this and believing that it was fated that our lives be so thoroughly destroyed."

"But there have been some good things... right?" Damon asked softly.

More tears sprang to my eyes. "Yes, but at what cost, Damon?" I wailed. "At what cost?"

"I'm going to be okay, Lainey. I love you, and there's nothing in this world I want more than your happiness. Jacob's a good man; he'll take care of you, cherish and protect you. Knowing this, and that you know the truth about me, I could die a happy man right now."

"No, Damon. It's so not fair! You should be happy, too. Where's your happy ending?"

"Your happiness _is_ my happy ending, Lainey. If I never do anything else in my life, that's enough for me."

"You're scaring me, Damon. You wouldn't... do anything stupid, would you?" I looked up into his eyes, fear filling me. This sounded like a goodbye to me, like an end of life 'I did what I came into this life to do' speech.

"I do lots of stupid things all the time. But no, not what you're thinking. I'm just letting you know how I feel, and I want you to go on to enjoy your life with Jacob fully, without any guilt. It looks like we might be traveling together soon anyway." Damon pried one of my hands off his shirt with a laugh and kissed it gently. "We're going to La Push. I'm finally going to meet my family after all these years."

_Of course we were. Fucking Eliza and her smug smile._

**~*Tanya's POV*~**

My chambers were beginning to feel like a prison. At first it felt like a haven away from all the prying eyes and the hatred of that little minx, Jane. I was growing restless though; I was used to complete freedom and a string of human men to seduce. Around here, human men were food—none of them made it up to my room in the tower. I was starting to feel like Rapunzel, except there was no prince to come rescue me. And so, I spent a great deal of my time pouting.

I wasn't officially a prisoner, of course. I was allowed to come and go as I pleased; however, whenever I left my room, Jane seemed to be lurking nearby, ready to torment me in some way, and the one time I ventured outside the castle walls, Rosalie was there, waiting with teeth bared—no sign of Emmett, the big oaf, but I'm sure he wasn't far away.

I had just thrown a copy of 'Romeo and Juliet' against the wall, breaking the binding of the book, when there was a perfunctory tap at my door before it swung open. Turning sharply, I saw Jane sweep into the room, looking around with her glittering, almond shaped eyes. The only expression her face ever held was derision, unless she was looking upon Aro—then it was adoration. When her eyes swept over the room, eventually landing on me, I had no idea what she was thinking. I was annoyed at her rude entrance though.

"Do you mind, Jane? It's customary to knock and then wait _for permission_ before entering someone's room! What if I was changing or had company?"

Jane's amused gaze found mine, and I flinched involuntarily. "You are a guest of the Castle Volturi. There is no privacy for you here. If you don't like it, you know where the exit is... right where Rosalie Hale is waiting to rip you apart." Jane's delivery was monotone and matter-of-fact.

"What do you have against me, Jane? I've done nothing to you." I decided to try a different approach since nothing else seemed to crack her facade.

"You exist." Jane's lip curled derisively. "You have a guest. Follow me." With that, she turned, crimson robe sweeping out behind her petite body, and left the room. She didn't care if I followed; that much was obvious.

I trailed after her. "Who's the guest?"

Jane continued to glide along the hallway, completely ignoring me. I had never done a thing to that little bitch! What reason did she have to hate me?

"What's your problem, Jane? I've never done anything to you! Why do you dislike me so much?"

Jane stopped moving abruptly and spoke, her back still to me. "What did _Bella_ ever do to _you_?"

"What? Nothing. I never even met Bella. What does that have to do with this?"

"Nothing at all. It was just something I've wondered about."

"So what's your problem?" The fact that Jane was conversing with me at all made me brave—braver than I should have been.

"Silence!" Jane turned to me, her face twisted in anger.

"What? But I thought -"

Jane's face smoothed out, and an evil smile spread across her features. "Of course you did. We all need to learn how things work in the world though, don't we?"

And then the worst agony I'd ever experienced hit me. The pain was all around me—in me, on me, encircling me—as I hit the floor with my back arching. My mouth opened, and an unholy howling burst forth. I wanted to scratch at my face, but my fingers were locked into claws, and my arms wouldn't work properly. Pain and burning sizzled through nerve endings I didn't know existed in vampires.

Abruptly, the pain receded, and I hit the floor with a loud smack. When my vision cleared, I looked up at Jane, who watched me with amused crimson eyes. I didn't dare utter a word, afraid she would do it again.

"That was only at half-strength for ten seconds," Jane explained, and my eyes widened with fear. "Do you need a further demonstration, or are things clear to you now?"

"Crystal clear," I whispered.

"Follow me."

Jane led me to an area of the castle I hadn't been to before, and we entered a small parlor with couches, chairs and a coffee table. She pointed to the couch, and I sat down obediently; then she left the room, shutting the doors behind her. A short while later, the doors opened again, and Kate came through them.

"Kate!" I jumped up, running over to my sister. I threw my arms around her, and she put her arms around me, but it was lukewarm at best. "Kate? Is something wrong? Has something happened?"

Kate's golden eyes looked into mine seriously. "Tanya, you're my sister, and I love you... but what the hell have you done? What have you gotten us into?"

"Kate, did you know that we have a strong influence over time with the shape-shifters? I discovered it with Damon. Look, I know you're not happy that I have to live here now, but it's for the best. You can come visit me whenever you like."

"Tanya... is it true then? Did you compel Damon to – to violate Bella? Did you harm Edward's mate?"

I hissed. "Bella is a despicable _human girl_; she's not Edward's mate! He needs to see that he should be with his own kind. You saw the picture of her; she is so plain as to be laughable, and Edward is so beautiful."

"Did you cause harm to Bella? _Is it true?_" Kate's voice rose.

"Like I said, I've never met her." I stuck my lower lip out petulantly.

"Did you compel Damon to hurt her?"

I crossed my arms, refusing to answer. "I thought you came here to visit me, Kate. Let's spend some time together." I reached out to touch her arm.

_**Z-Z-ZAP!**_

Falling to the floor, I looked around for Jane. Tilting my head up, my eyes met the narrowed ones of my sister, Kate, and I realized that she'd used her power on me! I couldn't remember Kate ever using her power on me.

"Kate! Why did you..."

"At this moment, I'm ashamed to call you sister. I know you fancy Edward, but he's _not interested_ in you! You can't make him see what isn't there. Now you can't even have his friendship; he only wants you dead. Your disgusting acts have brought bad things down on all of us! The Cullens think that Irina and I were helping you with your evil plans. I only hope I'll be able to mend relations between our covens."

"Kate, you're my sister... I thought you would support me."

Kate's eyes glittered. "Support you no matter how vile what you've done is? So you think there's no limit to what we're supposed to condone? Morality be damned, Tanya? I think not."

"We?"

"Irina wouldn't even come to see you until she knew the truth. Don't expect to see her any time soon. You told the two of us to take off without questioning you, assuring us that you would explain. We took you at your word that it was a matter of life and death _for our family_. But it was only life and death for _you_ because of your selfish choices."

Every word that came out of Kate's mouth felt like a punch to the gut. If it were possible, they hurt more than Jane's power had earlier. My face crumpled, and I let out a dry sob. "Kate," I whispered, holding my hand out.

Kate stepped back out of my reach with a shake of her head. "No, Tanya. You don't get to do this. We warned you many times to let your sick obsession with Edward go. _He doesn't want you_. He never did. Edward is such a gentleman; he never wanted to hurt your feelings, but maybe he should have been brutally honest from day one. Maybe then this tragedy wouldn't have happened. And what of Damon Black? You destroyed lives, Tanya!"

"Kate, please! I'll do better -"

Kate shook her head. "I'm sorry, Tanya. Maybe someday I'll be able to look you in the face again, but for now I have to say goodbye."

As Kate turned and walked through the doors, I flew after her into the hallway. She moved with vampire speed, obviously having memorized the way when she was shown in. Just as I caught up with her, she sped out the door of the castle, and I didn't dare follow for fear that one of the Cullen clan was waiting for me out there.

"Kate!" I shrieked. "_Kate!_ Come back! You're my sister! Don't just leave me here like this!" I fell to my knees when I saw that Kate's stride never even faltered. She had no intention of considering anything I had to say; she'd made up her mind before coming here what her decision was going to be if I was guilty of what she'd suspected. She might come around someday, but Kate had a strong moral compass that wouldn't allow her to support anything she found abhorrent. I must have been fooling myself when I thought my sisters would understand what Edward meant to me... how much I wanted him to be mine.

Getting up from my knees, I turned to head back to my 'prison' and was startled to see Jane hovering nearby. She cocked her head, looking me over curiously.

"What?" I spat. Knowing it was unwise to provoke the little freak didn't stop me; I was bitterly angry and distraught over the loss of my sister and suspected the pain from that was far worse than what Jane could dish out anyway.

"You're a strange creature, Tanya. So cold and unfeeling as to have a young girl brutally raped, and yet, you're in such pain because your sister disapproves of you."

"I love my sister," I answered defensively. "Of course I care what she thinks!"

"And what about Edward... do you care what he thinks?" A cold smile spread over Jane's face.

"Why you little -" I clenched my fists.

Jane held up a hand. "Ah! Careful, Tanya. I know you're upset, so I'll give you one freebie. Confront me again, in any way, and I'll drop you like a stone—at full power."

Then the little fucker glided away silently, like an apparition. _God, how I hate her!_

**{§§§}**

**~Two Weeks Later~**

**~*Bella's POV*~**

The day dawned bright and clear, just like Alice said it would. I opened my eyes to rays of sun filtering through the glass wall of Edward's—_our—_bedroom and watched in fascination as prisms of light reflected off the arms of the man that surrounded me.

"Good morning, love."

"Good morning. Today is the day!"

"Yes. Today you become my wife." Edward leaned in to place a cool kiss behind my ear. "Are you happy, Bella? Truly happy?"

I turned in his arms to face him, our eyes meeting. "Of course I'm happy, Edward! Why would you ask me that?"

"So much has happened to you—to us." He entwined his fingers with mine and then looked down at our joined hands. "I just want you to be sure you're ready for this."

"Edward." I waited a few seconds for his topaz eyes to meet mine. "I'm _so_ ready for this. Now get out so I can get ready."

"Get out? You mean no..." Edward's hands started getting frisky, his lips moving across my neck in a way that sent little shocks to my nether regions.

"Edward, no! Bad vampire! No hanky-panky the day of the wedding! You're lucky I let you stay in our bed last night."

"You couldn't keep me out," he whispered, placing soft little kisses along my jaw.

"Edward!"

There was a loud rap on the door. "Bella! It's time to get you ready!" Alice's sing-song voice came through the door. "Get your hands off her, Edward. There will be plenty of time for _that_ later!"

"Foiled again!" Edward groaned. "I almost had you, you know."

"Always." I leaned in to kiss him and then hopped out of bed to hit the shower.

**{§§§}**

We planned the wedding so Edward and I could have a private ceremony in our meadow. It wasn't practical to have the 'official' wedding there, since it required either several miles of hiking or vampires to run one there, so we decided to have two ceremonies. In the afternoon, in full sun, we would have our own private wedding; later in the day, as twilight fell, we would have our 'official' ceremony at the Cullens' home surrounded by family and friends.

When I arrived in Alice's room, there was a huge backpack sitting on the floor. "Ready?" she asked.

"For what?"

Alice rolled her eyes. "To head over to the meadow, of course!"

"Now? But I thought you were going to get me ready."

"We're getting ready at the meadow, Bella. Jasper has already brought our dresses over and set up a tent for us. I have all the makeup we need in here, and a battery powered curling iron for your beautiful tresses. Not to worry; I've got it all covered!"

"Of course you do. Let's go!"

Excitement filled me as Alice donned the backpack and then picked me up in her arms, taking off into the woods. The dizzying trip didn't take us very long. When Alice put me down, I waited a few moments for the wooziness to pass before opening my eyes. The sight before me took my breath away. "Oh, Alice!"

The meadow was in full bloom; flowers of blue, white, pink, yellow and purple swayed gently in the warm breeze. A white tent had been pitched off to the side, presumably where Alice and I would get ourselves ready. The showstopper was in the center of the meadow—an aisle had been mowed up the center and a small clearing made. Along the aisle and surrounding the entire clearing were polls every few feet strung with what looked like white gossamer, topped by huge white bows. Tears filled my eyes, and I turned to hug my future sister-in-law, words failing me.

"It had to be special for you two. It was nothing really; well, nothing for us vampires, anyway!" Alice laughed. "Now, come on into the tent of beauty."

Inside the tent was a large area rug, a clothing rack with our dresses, a full length mirror and two chairs. Alice sat me down and applied my makeup, chatting about inane things all the while, probably to calm me. Then she curled my hair, coaxing it into soft waves and curls around my face. She pulled some of the hair back from my face and secured it. When she finished, she looked at me from several different angles, a satisfied look on her little pixie face.

"Perfection," Alice whispered. "Now, let's get your dress on."

She unzipped the garment bag, removing my dress carefully. She helped me to step into the dress, pulling it up and doing all the buttons with vampire speed, which took almost no time at all. Alice had designed the dress especially for me. It was a simple, yet beautiful, dress—strapless, fitted at the waist, falling gently in a froth of filmy layers, with some subtle bead work—totally me. After she was done poking and prodding at me, she turned me to face the full-length mirror.

My jaw dropped. Who was that woman in the mirror? Alice had done a wonderful job with my makeup; it was subtle, yet played up my features. My hair was a cascade of curls and waves, the hair around my face pulled back and held by a band of wildflowers that looked like they came straight from the meadow. "Oh, Alice... I don't know what to say." I covered my mouth with my hand.

"You look beautiful, Bella. Like a vision. Just wait until Edward sees you!" Alice reached behind her and produced a bouquet of wildflowers that matched the ones in my hair. "Okay, tradition says you need something old..."

"My engagement ring—it belonged to Edward's mother."

"Something new could be the dress I made for you. Something borrowed..." Alice looked mischievous, producing a lacy garter seemingly out of thin air. "Jazz and I used this at _our_ last wedding!"

My face colored. "Okay, we need something blue," I mumbled.

"Got that covered, too." Alice put a small box in my hand.

"What's this?"

"Just open it."

I opened the box to find a pair of dangling pear shaped sapphire earrings. "These are exquisite, Alice!"

"They are, aren't they? Those are from your intended."

"From Edward?"

"He wanted to participate... give you something special to wear today. But you know Edward—nothing is ever meaningless with him. Aside from being your birthstone, the sapphire signifies loyalty and fidelity; it's also been called the 'stone of destiny.' There's a matching necklace, too."

Alice placed the necklace on me; it was a simple pear shaped pendent on a delicate white gold chain. Tears filled my eyes, and Alice admonished me for putting her painstaking makeup job in jeopardy, which made me smile.

Suddenly, Alice stiffened. "Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, stop right where you are! Don't you dare come near this tent. No viewing the bride before the wedding."

"Psychics!" I heard Edward mutter from outside. "I love you, Bella. Please don't make me wait too long."

"You've waited over a century for her! Ten more minutes won't kill you, you know." Alice rolled her eyes.

"I love you, Edward. Thank you for the necklace and earrings; I love them," I called out softly. "I can't wait to marry you."

A few minutes later, it was time. Carlisle came in to escort me down the aisle, standing in for my father.

"You look lovely, Bella." Carlisle smiled as he offered me his arm.

Music began to play softly—I was unsure of the source of it—and Alice started out of the tent, her purple dress caressing her petite curves beautifully. She carried a small bouquet of white flowers. And then it was my turn. My heart beat erratically as Carlisle led me forward to the entrance of the tent. I knew it was silly; it was Edward waiting for me out there, and after all we'd gone through, this should be the least of it. I couldn't stop my heart from doing flip flops though.

As we entered the meadow and came to stand at the beginning of the aisle, I saw him. Edward was breathtaking in a black tux with a white shirt and tie, his hair in its usual state of sexy disarray. Emmett was whispering something in his ear, and Edward's head was bent slightly his way. A feeling of intense love surged through me as I watched him, and then he froze—probably hearing my heart racing in my chest—and his head came around to face me, his eyes meeting mine. A crooked smile lit his face, and I knew that, at least for today, everything was right with the world.

**{§§§}**

**A/N: So...thoughts? What do you think is going to happen when the newlyweds go to Italy? Is Tanya the most despicable, in self-denial, slug ever? I really wanted Jane to give her the full monte... how about you?**

**Check out my profile for lots of info on the Fandom For Preemies and the FreeWriters One-Shot Contest which has just announced a new theme.**

**Reviewers get TEASED... and sometimes rewarded with special outtakes (see my profile for details).**


	16. Chapter 16 The Field of Karma

**A/N: Hello wonderfully patient readers! My deepest apologies for not getting to answer all of my reviews this past month. I read every single one and appreciate them all, and I promise to make a better effort. Life has been kicking my tail. See note at the end to find out what I have been/will be up to.**

**Thanks to my awesome beta, Jess (jkane180), for getting this chapter back so quick that I didn't even have time to send out teasers! Mwah!**

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**Chapter Sixteen**

**~The Field of Karma~**

**~o~  
**

_**As she has planted, so does she harvest; such is the field of karma.**_ ~Sri Guru Granth Sahib

_**Whatever we do lays a seed in our deepest consciousness, and one day that seed will grow. **_ ~Sakyong Mipham

**~o~**

**~Previously~**

_Music began to play softly—I was unsure of the source of it—and Alice started out of the tent, her purple dress caressing her petite curves beautifully. She carried a small bouquet of white flowers. And then it was my turn. My heart beat erratically as Carlisle led me forward to the entrance of the tent. I knew it was silly; it was Edward waiting for me out there, and after all we'd gone through, this should be the least of it. I couldn't stop my heart from doing flip flops though._

_As we entered the meadow and came to stand at the beginning of the aisle, I saw him. Edward was breathtaking in a black tux with a white shirt and tie, his hair in its usual state of sexy disarray. Emmett was whispering something in his ear, and Edward's head was bent slightly his way. A feeling of intense love surged through me as I watched him, and then he froze—probably hearing my heart racing in my chest—and his head came around to face me, his eyes meeting mine. A crooked smile lit his face, and I knew that, at least for today, everything was right with the world._

**~*Edward's POV*~**

Standing there nervously, I awaited my bride. Everything was perfect: the meadow was in full bloom; the sun shined brightly; Emmett and Jasper had mowed an aisle creating a small clearing; Jasper had set up the tent where Alice was getting Bella ready; and Alice had strung gossamer and bows up the aisle and around the clearing. The only thing missing was my beloved.

The sound of her heart beating over in the tent calmed me, kept me grounded. The day had finally arrived; I was marrying my mate, my best friend. The only thing that could mar this day was the memory of Bella's attack—which she was handling extremely well—and the knowledge that we would soon be headed to Italy to confront Tanya. But I would not allow any gloomy thoughts on this day; there would be time enough for that later on.

"You okay, bro?" Emmett asked.

"Yeah; just thinking too much."

"You have a tendency to do that, Edward. Just be happy today, okay? None of that emo brooding shit."

Emmett's ribbing went unanswered because there was a sudden change in the air. My Bella was out of the tent; I could feel her presence and hear her heart as it slammed and fluttered in her chest like a bird trying to get free. Frozen in place, I turned my head her way and took her in. An involuntary grin spread across my face at the sight of her. She was a vision to behold—beautifully flowing, strapless white dress, my gifts to her glinting in the rays of sunlight, flowers in her softly flowing hair, her beautiful, radiant face so full of love—and she was mine. Pride filled me, knowing this lovely, fragile creature had entrusted me with her life, love and happiness.

Carlisle led Bella to the front of the aisle; her eyes met mine, and tears gathered in the chocolate pools. Every mind I'd ever come across was open to me with the exception of Bella's, but today I didn't need to read her mind—it was in her eyes, her expression, the way her body bent forward toward mine, in the staccato beating of her heart—she was as anxious as I was to be joined as one.

"Are you ready, Bella?" Carlisle whispered, but I could hear him clearly.

Bella glanced over at me demurely from beneath her long lashes, her face heating a delicious shade of pink. "Yes."

They walked slowly up the aisle, arm in arm, and it seemed to take forever. My arms hung by my side, but my fingers twitched toward her, wanting to hold her and caress her blushing skin.

Jasper snorted softly, whispering, "She'll be here soon, Edward. Patience."

Esme, Rosalie and Alice stood to our right, but I didn't notice them or anything around me as my entire existence narrowed down to the beauty gliding slowly toward me—my life, my forever—a vision in white.

Finally, they reached where I stood trembling with the need to put my hands on her warmth. Afraid I would scare Bella, that I might appear _hungry_ rather than desiring her touch, I closed my eyes, trying to reign myself in. When I opened them again, she was a foot away from me, smiling gently up into my face. With a nod and a knowing grin, Carlisle joined our hands, and I felt whole at last, letting out a sigh of relief.

Because this was our private ceremony, we had no one officiating, just our own words of love to speak freely. That also meant there were no 'rules' to follow, and so, I brought Bella's hand up to my lips, placing a soft kiss across her knuckles.

"Bella Swan, my life was an empty shell until you called out to me. Your blood spoke to all of me; the human parts as well as the monster. My struggle, the warring parts of me, never made things easy for us. I made many mistakes; being over one hundred years old doesn't always equal being wise. The worst thing I ever did in over a century was to leave you." My eyes slipped closed as I thought back to _that_ time; when I was so crazed, refused sustenance, and eventually, sought death at the hands of the Volturi. Then my mind zoomed in on the fact that if I'd changed Bella when she requested it, if I hadn't been so stubborn and dead set against it, she never would have been violated.

A warm hand grazed my cheek, and I opened my eyes to her beauty. "Edward, please tell me you aren't having _those _kinds of thoughts on our wedding day. What's done is done; we're here now, and we'll be together forever."

She knew me so well. I smiled tenderly at her and continued, "I feel so lucky to have found my mate, my best friend; someone who loves me so truly. I promise to spend the rest of eternity making you happy, Bella. I love you, my wife." Reaching out, I caressed her face, feeling venom prick at my eyes.

Bella blushed prettily, leaning into my touch. "Edward Cullen, I love you more than my own life; something it took you a long time to accept. I forgave you a long time ago for leaving me, and I understand that you thought you were doing the right thing. We're together now, and that's all that matters. We've come a long way, through a lot of pain and torment, but only come out stronger from each one. Nobody can tear us apart, Edward; nobody. I pledge my eternal love to you; forever won't be long enough for me to experience all the wonders of being yours, my love, my husband."

A tear spilled over, tracing a slow path down her beautiful face, and I leaned in to kiss it away. "Since this is our special wedding, and there are no rules, I say it's time to kiss the bride," I whispered, pulling her in close. Bringing my lips down to her warm, soft ones, I kissed her reverently, like the goddess she was; my goddess forever.

~*}{*~

Back at our house, everything was nearly ready; one of the benefits of having a lot of money at our disposal. While we were at the meadow pledging our undying love, there were caterers, florists and a wedding planner running around making everything perfect for the 'public' wedding.

Bella was up in our room, freshening up, and I was in the living room pretending to relax when I heard the thoughts of someone outside. When I realized it was Kate, I growled, jumping up and flying out the front door to confront her.

Kate was still in the trees at the edge of our property, fretting over what to say, when I appeared before her, snarling.

"Edward!" She looked up, startled.

Wasting no time, I rushed her, pinning her against the nearest tree, one of my hands on her throat. "What the fuck are you doing here, Kate?" My lips were peeled back, and I knew I looked every bit the pissed off vampire. I didn't give a shit about Kate's gift; I was prepared to hold on until I had answers.

_Holy shit! How am I going to explain this to him? Will he listen before tearing me apart?_

"Talk fast, Kate. My patience is worn thin; I'm sure you know why."

"Edward, please! I didn't know! Irina and I didn't know!" Kate wailed, closing her eyes. Her recent memories started playing for me, and I got a glimpse of her meeting with Tanya in Italy. The memory of turning away her own sister was extremely painful, but she was determined to do what was right, and she was deeply ashamed about Tanya's obsession with me.

I loosened my grip on her, stepping back. "I'm sorry, Kate."

"Please, Edward, don't apologize. It's _me_ that needs to apologize. I never should have taken  
Tanya's word for it that there was an emergency that affected our family; I should have questioned it. Edward, Tanya's obsession with you has reached truly sick proportions. She still believes there's a chance. I..." Kate drifted off, holding her hands out in supplication.

"I get it, Kate, and I don't blame you or Irina. You were just doing what any other good sister would, and I know it was hard for you to turn your back on Tanya. I'm sorry for your loss."

"My... loss?" Kate's eyes grew large. "Are you planning to..."

"I mean the loss of your relationship, although if given the chance, I would love to rip her limb from limb." I let out a rumbling growl. "Bella doesn't want me killing in her name, and I have agreed."

"Bella sounds like a very special woman, Edward. I'm so happy for you; I just wish..." _…m__y sister hadn't taken her innocence. God, please don't let it affect her permanently..._

"She is special, Kate; the very best. Please don't feel guilty over this, okay? Honestly, I don't hold it against you."

"And Damon? How is Damon faring?"

"Damon is doing well. He's coming home to La Push—they may even have arrived already—with Jacob Black. Eliza helped him to regain his memory, and he's coming to get to know his family."

"That's wonderful. Edward, it takes someone very special to forgive something like that, even if it was done while under a spell."

"Do you know how the spell works, Kate? How she did it?"

"No," Kate shook her head, "but when I was in Italy, she did mention that we have special powers over shape-shifters in particular. Edward, she was _proud_ of it. How did she become so sick and twisted?" She dropped her head into her hands and dry sobs shook her shoulders.

"I'm sorry, Kate." I placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Will you come to the wedding? We'd love to have you join us," I offered.

Her head snapped up, and she looked longingly toward our house. "Really? You would allow me to be near your family, near Bella, after what Tanya's done?"

"Yes, of course. Tanya is the one who did wrong, not you. Please come. I know Bella would love it, and the rest of the family will be happy to welcome you back."

"Thank you," she whispered. "I accept."

Kate and I walked side by side back to the house, much to the surprise of everyone with the exception of Alice. She was welcomed warmly back into the fold.

~*o*~

As twilight fell, the 'official' wedding ceremony began. Charlie led Bella up the aisle on the back patio, which was set off by twinkling white lights and strung with ribbon and bows similar to the meadow. When they reached me, Charlie placed Bella's hand in mine and murmured, "Take care of my daughter, you hear? I still have my shotgun loaded." His mustache twitched as he tried to hold back a smile.

Renee and Phil had flown in from Florida, some of our friends from Forks High and Carlisle's colleagues from the hospital were in attendance, along with a number of vampire acquaintances that came to lend their support. I was surprised to see Billy Black sitting on Bella's side in his wheelchair. He nodded my way in acknowledgment, and I smiled in return. Just before we said our vows, I saw Jacob and a beautiful Quileute girl slip into seats in the back row.

"Jacob is here, Bella," I murmured.

She turned her face his way, eyes tearing up, and mouthed, "Thank you."

Reverend Weber performed the ceremony, and this time we exchanged rings, traditional vows and had to wait until the announcement came to kiss. When the moment came, we again seemed to forget we had an audience. I was lost in Bella's warm embrace; her soft lips molded to mine as our mouths moved together... until there were a few throats cleared—I'm pretty sure the loudest one was Charlie.

"I'd like to present to you... Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen," Reverend Weber proclaimed with a jolly smile.

Bella and I turned to face our family and friends, who were all clapping and whistling. Birdseed flew through the air as we hurried down the aisle.

While the patio was being cleared and set up for the reception, Bella and I greeted all of our guests. When Kate came up, she was nervous, but Bella surprised Kate by embracing her. "Kate, thank you for coming. I know it took a lot of courage."

"Thank you, Bella. Welcome to the family."

As the line came to an end, Jacob stepped up to greet us.

"Jacob." I nodded.

"Congratulations, Bella, Edward." To my surprise, Jacob stuck his hand out. I took it willingly, and we shook hands.

"Thank you, Jacob."

Bella's eyes teared up, and she threw herself in Jacob's arms, hugging him tight. "Thanks for coming, Jake! I never thought you would accept us."

"A _lot _of things have happened recently that I never expected." Jacob grinned. "Bella, Edward, I'd like you to meet Lainey, my... imprint. We met in Alaska."

Bella hugged Lainey. "It's wonderful to meet you, Lainey. Eliza spoke so highly of you."

"Thanks. It's nice to finally meet you and Edward. I've heard so much about you both." Lainey smiled; her delicate features were of the sort that made a male want to protect her, yet there was a strength and determination in her eyes that said she could give him a run for his money—a perfect match for Jacob. She turned to look up at me and took my hand. "Edward, I'll never be able to thank you enough for taking the time to get to the truth about Damon. You're very special, and Bella's a lucky lady."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Lainey. Thank you for coming. I'm so sorry for what Tanya cost you. How is Damon?"

"He's... overwhelmed. We just arrived today. He hasn't met the rest of the tribe yet; today he's been getting to know Billy, his father's brother. Damon's father, Rafael Black, left the tribe in La Push as a teenager and hasn't spoken to Billy since."

Lainey seemed very open, and her mind matched her words and demeanor. I found myself liking her a lot, and I thought she would be good for Jacob.

"Edward, you're staring at Lainey." Jacob nudged my arm. His look was guarded but not hostile.

Lainey's smile never faltered; she had no problem with the fact that I was a vampire or that she was surrounded by others of my kind. Bella stood by my side quietly, observing, as she usually did.

"Oh, sorry, Jacob. My mind went off on a bit of a tangent. I was thinking that Lainey is very suited to you; she's strong and sure of herself, looks like she won't take any of your crap, and yet is very demure and beautiful. Her thoughts match her words; there are no hidden agendas."

"My thoughts match my words?" Lainey queried with raised eyebrows.

Jacob pulled her in against him, leaning in to her ear. "I'll explain later, baby. We're taking up too much of the newlyweds' time." Standing up to his full height, he shook my hand again. "Thank you, Edward, for your kind words about my girl, for taking such great care of Bella, but most especially for keeping me from making the hugest mistake of my life by killing Damon. I owe you."

"You owe me nothing, Jacob. Be happy; both of you." I smiled at the irony of the situation. Never in a million years did I expect Jacob Black to be at my wedding, congratulate me and thank me all in the same lifetime, let alone the same day.

Bella slipped herself in between Jacob and Lainey, hugging them both. "Thank you guys so much for coming! I wish you both all the happiness in the world. Take care of Damon, okay? He's the only one whose life has been left in a shambles."

Lainey's eyes teared up. "I know," she whispered. Thoughts of how guilty she felt started swirling around in her mind. She actually blamed herself for not realizing what Tanya had done!

"Lainey -" I called her name, and she looked up at me curiously. "You are _not_ responsible for what Tanya did. Her continued obsession with me and her gift of seduction is what caused all the trouble. There's no way you could have known. Please try not to feel guilty about what she did."

Lainey swiped a few tears away, looking thoughtful. "Thank you, Edward. I'll think about what you said. We should go now; I don't want to drag you guys down. Enjoy the rest of your wedding!"

The rest of the reception went off without a hitch. We danced under the twinkling lights, kissing constantly, forgetting there was anyone else around us.

"Mrs. Cullen," I whispered in her ear.

"What?"

"Nothing; I just wanted to say it again." I smiled into her hair. "Mrs. Cullen, I love you."

"And I love you, Mr. Cullen."

"Um, excuse me... but can I get a moment to dance with my daughter?" Charlie tapped me on the shoulder, a barely concealed smile on his face.

"Sure, Charlie."

I handed Bella over, watching from the sidelines as she danced with her father. Her beauty lit up the patio much more than the twinkle of lights ever could. Many couples were dancing nearby—Alice and Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett, Carlisle and Esme, Renee and Phil, Angela and Ben, Jacob and Lainey—but Bella's inner radiance out-shown them all tonight.

"Would you dance with me?" Kate asked from beside me.

"Certainly." I took her hand, leading her into an open pocket of space amongst those dancing.

"She's exquisite, Edward. Beautiful, gracious, kind... forgiving; all that you deserve, my friend."

"Thank you, Kate."

_I just can't believe Tanya almost destroyed all this..._

"Don't, Kate. Tanya didn't win; she will _never _win." I growled low in my throat.

"I'm sorry, Edward; I didn't mean to bring that up here."

"It's all right, Kate. It's never far from my mind; you know how it is being able to multi-task your thoughts. It's both a blessing and a curse."

~*o*~

After everyone was gone, my family took off on a hunting trip to give Bella and me some privacy. Loosening my tie, I watched her standing by the glass wall, staring out at the night. She was still in her dress, her hair cascading down her bare back in gentle ringlets adorned with flowers; she was a vision of beauty. The sound of her heartbeat, sure and steady, was my worry stone, and I leaned in the doorway just watching and listening. There were several candles placed around the room, casting a soft glow.

After a few minutes, Bella spoke without turning. "Why are your eyes burning a hole in my back, Mr. Cullen?"

"How did you know?" I asked, grinning crookedly as I made my way over to her.

"I can feel you, Edward. I can always feel it when you're near me; it's like this electricity crackling in the air."

Placing my hands on her bare shoulders, I bent to kiss her just below her ear. "Penny for your thoughts, love."

Bella's hands reached up to join mine. "I'm really happy, Edward."

"But? There's a but, isn't there?"

"Well, no. I was just wondering about fate and destiny... stuff like that. I'm sorry; I think too much."

"Join the club," I snickered. Pulling her hair to the side, I placed gentle kisses up the column of her neck, enjoying the feel of her silken skin. "Let me give you other things to ponder then, Mrs. Cullen. You know... back in my day, a marriage wasn't really official until it was consummated..."

"Oh, is that so? So you think you're getting lucky now, too?" Bella giggled.

"I already got lucky when you agreed to be mine. But, yes, I would like to 'get lucky,' Mrs. Cullen."

Turning, Bella wrapped her arms around my neck. I looked down into her eyes, and the moment grew serious. She was so innocent and loving; I would do anything to protect her, to keep her from harm. I didn't always do such a good job, but I fully intended to rectify that by not leaving her side until she was changed. Tightening my hands on her back, I pulled her up against me, her warm softness causing my pants to grow tight with desire.

"Bella, I love you," I whispered, bringing my lips to hers.

Our kisses were soft and slow, her lips burning against mine. Bella moaned, and her tongue licked a line of searing heat across my bottom lip. Mine swept out to meet hers, our tongues playing against each other outside of our mouths. When Bella's tongue retreated, I pressed my lips to hers, allowing mine to follow into her mouth, kissing her deeply. Her fingers found their way into my hair, and she held on tight, pressing herself closer against me.

"We're overdressed for the occasion, Edward; don't you think?" Bella looked up at me coyly.

"I believe you're right, Mrs. Cullen," I murmured, spinning her quickly so I could undo all the hook and loop closures down the back of her gown with vampire speed. Her dress was off in five seconds, her stockings, bra and panties in three. "Leave the jewelry on." Gloriously naked, her blush created a beautiful pink glow over more than just her face, and I growled softly at the sight of her.

"Edward," Bella admonished in a hushed voice. "Why are you still dressed?" Her face deepened to a shade of crimson, the heat rising to kiss her cheeks.

"That can be easily remedied, love." I was about to shed my clothes, but Bella stopped me.

"No."

"No?"

"Allow me."

Bella slid my jacket off my shoulders, moving around behind me to slowly pull it away. Her warm hands caressed my back, running over my shoulder blades. She stepped around in front of me, undoing the buttons on my shirt one...at...a...time, looking up at me from beneath her long lashes when she tugged the rest of the shirt from my pants so she could finish. I drew in a sharp breath and tried to restrain myself from ripping my clothes away and throwing her down on the floor.

She ran her hands over my abs, the lean muscles rippling beneath her fingers. They continued over my chest and up my neck to caress my face. She went up on tiptoe to kiss me, and my mouth met hers hungrily. Bella pulled back in surprise, glancing up at me.

"Bella, you're driving me crazy."

"Sorry. Well, not really. Every woman wants to drive her man nuts."

"Not when said man is a vampire, love. I have only so much restraint in me."

With a wicked smile, she unbuckled my belt, undoing my pants and sliding them down over my hips. She drew in a breath when she realized I wasn't wearing anything beneath them, and her hand caressed my erection tentatively.

"Bella -" I warned, gritting my teeth.

"Every part of you is so beautiful, Edward; so perfect."

Pulling her up against me, my hardness pressed against her soft, hot stomach as I flicked my pants away with one foot. Our lips met over and over in heated kisses as I backed her toward the bed slowly, my hands winding themselves into the long waves flowing down her back.

Scooping her up in my arms, I lay her down gently on our bed, hovering over the top of her. Before going further, I looked down into her angelic face just to be sure she was okay. I saw nothing but love and desire in her eyes as she reached up to tug at my hair, pulling my face down to hers. "Want you, Edward," she whispered.

I licked and sucked at the flesh of her neck as I eased her legs open. If she needed me to slow down or stop, I wanted her to be able to tell me. Never again did I want Bella to feel weak or helpless at the hands of anyone; least of all me.

"Are you ready, love?"

"Yes. So ready for you..." Bella moaned.

Lining up with her heat, I pushed slowly inside, feeling her velvety, hot walls surrounding my cool hardness. It was like coming home over and over again as Bella's sweet, fragile body accepted my unyielding, unnatural one. Gratefulness bloomed inside me as I gazed down at my Bella lying beneath me, head thrown back, lips parted, her little panting noises filling the room. This goddess wanted to be with _me_ forever; she was giving up her humanity to be mine for eternity. Even as a human, she understood me like no one else could; how much better would it be when she could stand by my side as a physical equal? Part of me hated the thought of her becoming a monster like us, but a larger part was selfish and wanted her to be impervious to aging, sickness, accidents... death.

I started moving faster within her, and Bella wrapped her legs around my hips, arching her back. "Oh..."

A beautiful blush spread across her neck and chest, and I looked down at the sapphire necklace, the deep blue—my favorite shade against her creamy skin—glinting in the candlelight. I bent my head down to kiss the stone—a symbol of loyalty and fidelity, the 'stone of destiny'— and Bella was mine. Licking my way up the side of her neck, I whispered into her ear, "You're so exquisite, Bella. So perfect." I could scent her arousal increasing, feel and see the heat rising to her skin, and her breath rushed in and out in time with our movements. I felt the curl of my desire building up low in my abdomen; a tightening that signaled the approach of my release, and I wanted to let go so badly, but I wanted to make sure Bella did first.

"Bella... come with me, love," I moaned against her hair. And that was all it took. Bella cried out, fingers gripping at my shoulders convulsively, her body stiffening as she rode out wave after wave of her orgasm. Seeing Bella's head thrown back as she called my name, completely letting go, drew me right over the edge with her, and a powerful orgasm rocked my entire being, unlike anything I'd ever experienced before.

Gazing down at her exposed neck, her body splayed out before me, boneless with ecstasy, I felt extremely possessive instincts rise up inside me. _Mine._

**~*Damon's POV*~**

To say that life was surreal right now was an understatement. A number of things were happening that I thought were impossible—I was in La Push to meet my lost family, they actually _wanted_ to meet me, I'd been absolved of blame in Bella's attack (although I still couldn't reconcile this within myself, and I wasn't sure I ever would), and I held a fairly solid assurance from Eliza that when my life was in order, my father would come out of his catatonic state.

I was angry with my father for keeping me from my family in La Push, and we'd had a difficult relationship most of the time, but I loved him and wanted him to wake up. Deep down, I held out a hope that he might reconcile with Billy; that they could be brothers once again after wasting so many years.

When Jacob brought me into the little red house to meet Billy, I was intimidated; scared. I needn't have worried because Billy had tears shining in his eyes. "My God... you look just like your father. Come here, boy." He opened his arms, and before I knew what was happening, I fell to my knees beside his wheelchair and threw myself into his embrace like a sniveling child. We hugged and blubbered for an extended period of time, and when I looked up, Jacob was gone.

Billy asked me to brew some coffee, and we sat down at the rickety little table in the kitchen.

"Damon, I'm so glad you're here. I just wish your dad -" he broke off, staring down at his gnarled hands.

"Uncle Billy, what happened? Why did Dad leave the tribe?"

"You don't know?" Billy gazed up at me with surprise.

"No. He refused to talk about La Push with me at all. I've spent a lot of time angry that he kept me from my family without explanation. I only know he left here when he was a teenager."

"Yeah, well, your father always had lofty ideas... not that it's bad, mind you, but around these parts we tend to be very set in our ways. We still speak of old legends and follow old traditions. Rafael dreamed of being something other than a wolf, but the elders thought it was 'black magic' and forbade it. Many of those old-timers are gone now, but they really made life hell for Rafael. He heard of a tribe in Alaska that was experimenting with phasing into different forms, and he begged me to go there with him. I just didn't have the same vision he did; I was comfortable here in this life, with our traditions. Rafael was bitter over my decision, and he tried to force my hand—told me he would never speak to me again if I didn't come with him. Being the young hot-heads that we were, I told him to go, told him I didn't need a brother like him. I regretted the words as soon as they were out of my mouth, but he took them to heart and left."

"Then what?"

"Then... nothing. Your dad never came back; I never saw him again." Billy shrugged sadly.

"But, why didn't you go after him?" I asked harshly.

"Because I thought he would cool down and come back home. When he didn't, a lot of time had gone by, so I wrote him. I never received a response; I'm not even sure he got my letters. Becoming frustrated, I decided to take a trip to Alaska, but the Alpha at the time had other plans. I was forbidden to leave; he restrained me with an alpha command. By the time he was gone, I was too stubborn and ashamed to contact Rafael. Pride can lead one in foolish directions, Damon."

"I see. Can I ask you something?"

Billy nodded.

"If you were a shifter, why are you in a wheelchair? Why are you aging?"

"Well, with no vampires in the area, many of us stopped phasing. My injuries occurred during that time, along with triggering the aging process. When a shifter stops phasing, they begin to age and are subject to human illness and injury. By the time the next generation started to phase, I was too old and decrepit for that." He let out a gritty laugh.

Sipping my now-cold coffee, I pondered all I had learned. My father was a stubborn man, but if he woke up, I was going to drag his ass here—kicking and screaming if necessary. If there was one lesson I'd been taught from this experience, it was to embrace the people you loved while you had the chance. Dropping my head to the table, I let out a deep sigh.

"What is it, boy? What's got you all bothered?"

"Lots of things. Unfinished business for one." My first curled as I thought of Tanya and what she'd taken from me. Finally, I was beginning to accept that I was not to blame for all this. I couldn't deny that the events had led me here to my family, so it wasn't all bad.

"You have a look in your eye that I've seen in my own son, Damon. Your journey is not yet finished, is it?"

I stared into the wise, craggy face of my uncle; his dark, sparkling eyes held a deep knowledge, and I could see why he was well-respected by his tribe. Something about him reminded me a little bit of Eliza, and I thought back to my last conversation with her before I left Alaska.

_Eliza ushered me into her hut, and I knew I would miss the atmosphere here once I left for La Push. Everything always seemed to make sense, and the impossible seemed possible whenever I was in her powerful presence. She moved about, lighting some incense, the soft music playing in the background calming me almost immediately._

"_I'm going to miss you, Shaman," I said quietly, trying to hold back the tears that would make me feel like a pansy._

_Eliza turned to face me, her silvery wolf eyes serious. She raised a finger, indicating I should wait a moment, and then she disappeared through the curtain into another room. When she returned, she held a small packet of powder, which she went about making tea with._

"_Sit, Damon." Eliza gestured to the shrimp-shaped couch. "I'm going to miss you, too, my dear. I don't know when we'll see one another again. Drink this tea while I chant."_

"_Why? You're acting as though we won't see each other again..."_

"_That very well may be, Damon. I want to send you out into the world as protected as possible because you still have some rough seas ahead. Drink now." Eliza flicked a hand at me impatiently, but I saw something flit across her face for just a moment before her mask of composure slid smoothly back in place. I knew better than to question her; Eliza only told you exactly what she intended to._

_Taking the steaming cup in my hands, I drank the strange tasting brew as instructed. Eliza was the one person in the world that I trusted implicitly; if she told me it was necessary to leap off the bluff, I would probably do it. She sat on the floor nearby and began chanting. As the tea went down, it felt almost alive, curling its way into me with warmth and a feeling of peace. A sudden pain in my head caused me to wince, but it was followed by what I could only describe as a release of something hard and foreign. What was left was a soft, tender feeling—like new skin growing over a wound—and I both sighed with relief and grew scared at the same time._

_When she was finished, she looked up at me and smiled. "Excellent. You're protected now, Damon. Godspeed."_

"_Protected from...?" I prompted._

_Eliza simply gave me one of her sage looks, and I shrugged a shoulder as I walked out onto the bluff and phased into an eagle in honor of Lainey._

Shaking off the memory, I looked up at my uncle, who simply sat waiting patiently for my answer. "No, Uncle; my journey is not yet finished."

"I suspected as much. This Eliza I've heard so much about—did she give you some advice?"

"Not really. Eliza is very cryptic, but I've come to trust her. She said she gave me protection, so I believe I'm protected."

"From what?" Billy's forehead scrunched up, his craggy face already beginning to grow on me.

"I have no idea." A smile spread across my face. "And you know what? I don't give a sh- - a hoot. My burdens have been lifted, and I'll take on the journey before me with courage."

"Good man." Billy looked pleased. "There's a bonfire in your honor this evening. You'll get to meet the whole pack. Why don't you catch a nap or something? I have a wedding to attend first, and then I suspect we'll be up late into the night." He clapped me on the shoulder.

**~*Tanya's POV*~**

The past several days or weeks—I'd lost count—passed by in a dazed stupor. I cared about nothing and no one. My own sisters had disowned me; they couldn't understand how much I wanted Edward, that I would do anything to have him as mine. Perhaps the two spinsters were just jealous because I'd found my match, and they were still alone. I supposed if you'd never experienced the pull toward another, you might not be able to fully appreciate it.

For a vampire, I was depressed and listless. If it weren't for my gloved encounters in Aro's chambers, I would probably never leave my rooms at all. Aro insisted that I come to him, and he seemed smitten with me, although he was hard to read. I didn't dare use my feminine wiles on him for fear that he would demand to touch my hand, capturing all my memories and motivations. Perhaps it wouldn't matter to him, but then again, there was nowhere else on this earth I could hide from the Cullens. I wasn't really attracted to Aro, but I _was_ attracted to power, and I needed the protection he could provide me. I'd come to realize that part of the reason Jane hated me was because of the attention Aro bestowed upon me; it took away from him petting her on the head and coddling her like the pathetic little lapdog that she was.

Felix still continued to deliver my meals periodically. At first, he would smirk at me, but over the past few weeks, I think he came to pity me, which just made me angry.

"What the fuck are you looking at?" I spat at him one night.

Felix heaved a sigh. "A very sad and lost little girl. You should try to reconcile your issues, Tanya... before it's too late."

"_Reconcile my issues?_ What the hell does that mean? Have you received your diploma in psychology now, Felix?" I glared at him, hands on my hips.

"As you would have it." Felix shook his head sadly, dropping the elk to the floor with a muffled boom, and then turned and left quietly.

"_As you would have it,_" I mocked, shaking my head back and forth. "I don't need your pity, asshole."

Looking down at the trussed up elk, I felt sick, not hungry. Everything had turned to shit, and it was all Damon Black's fault for tattling on me. I should have known he was weak; not a good candidate for my powers of seduction and persuasion. In hindsight, perhaps I'd laid it on a bit thick, rather than being patient enough to take my time, but when I got the invitation to Edward's wedding—when I found out he was going to _marry_ that pathetically plain human girl—I lost it.

"Not going to eat your din-din, Tanya?" Jane's amused, childlike voice came from the doorway to my chambers. I glared down at her as she glided into the room.

"What is it, Jane?" I asked tightly.

"Enjoying your stay in the Castle Volturi, Tanya? Have you had time to see the sights around town?" Jane's voice was mocking, but after being dropped like a stone by her powers, I was loathe to repeat the experience by mouthing off.

"Here just to gloat and torment me, Jane? Go ahead; enjoy your laugh." I flipped my hand in the air apathetically.

"My partner, Demetri, who I work with frequently, has been in a dark mood of late." Jane strolled slowly around my room, running a finger along the stone wall, tracing the mortar. _What the hell did that have to do with the price of elk?_ As if I gave a rat's ass about Demetri! Jane stopped by my window, staring out at the setting sun, which had painted rich tones of orange, gold and pink across the sky. "No matter how old I am, I still love to watch the sun set. My last human sunset was an awful experience; tied to a stake alongside my brother Alec by those lunatics as they piled logs around our feet. They wanted to wait until dark to burn us alive so they could watch the flames dance and lick at our skin as it melted from our bodies..." Jane's voice drifted off.

My mouth hung open in horror. There wasn't much that fazed me at my advanced age, but for some reason, Jane's horrific tale had me captivated. "My God, Jane, why would they want to burn you and your brother?"

"They thought we were witches," Jane's voice had a faraway sound to it; maybe she was reliving her memories. Her gaze was fixated on the sunset. "My last human memory is of a sunset much like this one. Such beauty, and yet, it filled me with unimaginable horror because I knew when it ended, my life would, too. After the sun dipped below the horizon, they were about to light the bonfire with us at its center when there was a commotion nearby."

By now, I was riveted by her tale and found my body leaning toward her in anticipation of what she would say next. Obviously, she and Alec were saved, but I still found myself anxious about their situation. "Then what happened?" I whispered in awe.

Jane turned to face me then, her almond-shaped, crimson eyes aglow. "The Volturi destroyed the entire village—it was a feast of epic proportions—and not a drop of blood remained when it was over, with the exception of mine and Alec's. I can still remember my first glimpse of Aro as he stepped over the logs and offered me his hand. He looked so calm and reassured me that Alec and I were safe from those fanatics. Of course, the reason Aro saved us was because he had been observing us, waiting for us to mature before turning us, but at that point, he no longer had any choice." Jane's eyes were unfocused and far away. A chilling smile spread across her face. "I had no objection to being changed, to no longer being weak and at the mercy of fanatical human whimsy."

"God, Jane! I had no idea what you went through. What an awful thing to happen." A small amount of sympathy washed through me. Jane always seemed so soulless, like a little monster, but her story seemed to explain her better—she was frozen in time during cruelty, and vampires didn't change easily. It also explained her possessiveness and reverence for Aro.

"Don't feel sorry for me; I'm very happy right where I am." The faraway look disappeared from her face, and Jane turned her eyes on me, sending shivers down my spine. "Now then, I was explaining that Demetri has been in a... mood lately. You can help with that."

"Me? How?"

"Seduction is your thing, yes? I want you to show Demetri a good time." Jane stared me down.

"What makes you think I'd do anything for you?" I sniped.

"Because if you do this, I'll be indebted to you. I'll go easier on you. Tanya, we'll never be friends, but keeping me happy will keep you... pain free."

"You're blackmailing me?" I asked incredulously.

"No, not at all. You can choose whatever path you wish." Jane looked back at me benignly, but I wasn't fooled. If I didn't do as she asked, she would make my life here more hell than it already was.

"What do you want me to do?"

"Seduce Demetri. Let him believe it was your idea, that you want him. If he thought I was setting him up, he'd be pissed off. I'll pass a message along to him that you'd like him to come and visit you, and then you handle the rest."

Life _had_ been boring of late. What harm could it do to let Demetri think I wanted him? Especially if it got Jane off my ass. He wasn't bad looking... "Okay, I'll do it."

A few hours later, there was a knock at the door. I opened it to find Demetri lounging in my doorway with a smug smile on his handsome face.

"Demetri," I greeted. "Please come in."

"Good evening, Tanya," he purred, swaggering into the room. So maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all. He was easy on the eyes, and he didn't seem like he was going to need much persuasion to hop in the sack.

"To what do I owe the visit?" I asked coyly.

Demetri stalked over to me, moving in so close the fronts of our bodies were nearly touching. He ran a finger along my jaw-line lightly, leaning in close to my ear. "As if you don't know..." A shiver ran through me. "Jane told me you wanted me. I wasn't sure if she was lying or not, so I came to see for myself."

Getting into the game, I purred, "And now that you're here, what do _you _think?"

"I think you want it." Demetri reached his arms around me, pulling me up against him forcefully. His glittering eyes were black with desire as they looked down into mine. "And I think I'm going to give it to you."

"Oh!" I gasped, feeling wetness pool between my legs.

Demetri began nuzzling my neck; placing little kisses and nips all over it. Letting my head fall back, I moaned with pleasure. Grabbing my face between his hands, Demetri crushed his lips to mine, thrusting his tongue into my mouth and kissing me deeply. His kisses were expert, and I found myself melting into his embrace. Perhaps Jane was doing _me_ a favor.

Pulling back, he looked down at me. "So? Do you want to do this? Are you interested?"

"Yes. Very much so."

"Good. That's what I wanted to hear."

We kissed a little more, Demetri fumbling to remove my dress while his lips were attached to mine. A few moments later, I was naked and his large hands were all over me—teasing, feeling, kneading, playing. He pulled me up tight against him, and I realized that he was still fully dressed; I could feel the roughness of his clothing against my skin.

"You're still dressed, Demetri..."

"Yes, I know. Just go with it, baby." His hands went back to exploring, his kisses growing more heated, and when he pulled me up against his body again, I could feel how rock hard he was against his trousers. I rubbed myself up against his erection, and he growled lightly. "You feel that? You feel what I have for you?"

"Oh, yes. Let me have it."

"I intend to. Are you ready to take all of me inside you?"

"Yes," I whimpered.

"Good, because I'm going to give it to you like no one ever has." Demetri walked us over to the bed and pushed me down. I propped myself on my elbows at eye level with his crotch, and I could see the outline of his straining, twitching cock in his pants. Reaching out, I caressed it, eliciting a groan from Demetri.

"Come on, big boy; let me have it."

"Get on your knees on all fours!" Demetri suddenly commanded.

"What?"

"I'm going to let you have it... every inch. Now flip over." He reached down and flipped me on my stomach, pulling at my hips until my knees were touching the mattress and my ass was in the air. What the hell? He was still fully dressed, but I heard his zipper go down, and his hard cock pressed against my ass.

"Wh-what are you doing?"

"You have to ask?" he laughed. "This is my favorite position."

"But you still have your clothes on..."

"I like my partners to be more vulnerable than me. I want to fuck you with my clothes on. Hang on, Tanya..."

I was starting to think I'd made a mistake. "Wait! Demetri I don't think this is -"

"Be quiet, woman!" Demetri growled, his fingers pushing inside me roughly and spreading my wetness around—the wetness that had formed when he was seducing me, not from the rough way he handled me now.

"But I don't like this!" I protested.

"Your body says otherwise. You're dripping wet for me."

"That was before you -"

"Stop talking."

Gripping my hips, he raised my ass in the air a little higher, and then he impaled me on the end of his cock. No gentleness, no ceremony, just shoved it inside me to the hilt. "Ooh, yeah, baby!" He immediately started thrusting into me—hard.

"Demetri, please..." I just wanted him to stop.

"Oh, don't beg me, baby. Not to worry; I'll give you every inch over and over again," he groaned, pounding into me harder.

"It hurts... you're being too rough!"

"There's no such thing as 'too rough' with another vampire. That's why I love to fuck vampires." His hips moved faster and harder then, and it felt like I was going to split in two. A few minutes later, he cried out loudly as he released his venom inside me. "Oh, so good! You're so tight, Tanya; you must have been a virgin when you were changed."

"Yes, I was." Relieved that this was over, I could feel the tears inside me healing, and I attempted to get up.

A hand was placed on my back. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Getting up so I can dress."

"No, no, no. I'm not nearly done with you." He was hard again.

"This really isn't my cup of tea, Demetri."

"Well, let me expand your world then."

He pushed me face down onto the bed and took me from behind with his entire clothed body pinning mine down. Who fucked with their clothes on? This guy had issues. After pounding into me some more, he commanded me to sit on the side of the bed. Standing in front of me, he pulled his dick out of his pants, and I noticed that I was on mouth level with it. _Oh, shit._

"Open wide, Tanya."

Tangling his large fingers in my hair, he pumped his hips hard and fast, positioning my head whichever way pleased him, unconcerned with my discomfort.

While Demetri was ramming himself into my mouth, my thoughts turned to Jane. _Jane._ That sick little fuck knew what Demetri's sexual proclivities were. She'd deliberately set me up. _Bitch._

~*o*~

After Demetri finally left and all my injuries had healed, Jane strode into my room with an amused look on her face. After seeing who it was, I just flopped back on the bed and continued to stare up at the ceiling.

"Demetri really enjoyed his time with you, Tanya. He said he's going to be a frequent visitor to your chambers. Imagine that... I'm quite the match-maker it seems."

"Jane, please don't let him. It was the most bizarre experience I've ever had!"

"Really? Just imagine what Bella felt like when her innocence was being stripped away. _ Her_ wounds don't heal the way ours do."

I leaned up on my elbow, staring at Jane in disbelief. "Is that what this is all about? Bella? You wanted to teach me a lesson?"

"No; I could care less about Bella, really. I just think you have a huge set of balls to complain about how you're treated after the things you've done. In my eyes, you and Demetri are a perfect match."

"Keep him away from me."

"I'm not his keeper, Tanya. Demetri can do as he wishes, and he wishes to spend quality time with you. Anyway, I'm not here about that. I've come to inform you that we're having guests, and Aro expects you in the throne room when they get here."

"What guests? Why would he want me there?"

Jane shrugged a shoulder. "I've learned not to question orders; you'll learn it, too. The only thing I heard was the name Cullen, but I don't know which Cullens. Wear something pretty..." Jane's voice was taunting. She turned to leave.

"Wait! Who is it? Do you know anything at all?"

"Just be prepared for when you're summoned." Jane flicked a hand at me as she left the room.

Were Rosalie and Emmett back to talk to Aro again? What in the world did this mean? Part of me dared to hope that Edward was coming to take me away from here—that he'd realized my level of dedication to him and couldn't stay away any longer.

When Aro summoned me to his chamber later that evening, I didn't ask about the impending visit, knowing he hated to be questioned. After being violated by Demetri—I couldn't exactly claim it as rape, and I hoped Demetri wouldn't go that route in the future—Aro seemed like a kind, patient lover. He actually asked very little of me, and he wasn't very adventurous or creative. I would often pretend he was Edward, losing his virginity to me. It made prostituting myself a bit more bearable while I waited for the real thing to arrive...

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**A/N: Hope you enjoyed the wedding! Mr. and Mrs. Cullen will be arriving in Italy next chapter, and things are going to get... dramatic. Opinions on the way Demetri treated Tanya? (He's a sick puppy)**

**Awesome new banner for this story in my story banner album, made by Ysar at The Twilight Awards. Link on my profile.  
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**I've been running the FreeWriters One-Shot Contest with my buds, Keye and Sandy. Submissions are now closed for the 'Musical Cues' theme, and we have 39 entries! Voting begins on December 13****th**** and runs through the 18****th****. Links on my profile. A new contest will start in January.**

**I'm scheduled to participate in 'Sqeeze My Lemon' on January 12****th****. I'll be squeezing lemon juice with an outtake from 'I Want It Painted Black' using a very HOT photo prompt. I'm also going to be writing an outtake from IWIPB for the Fandom Against Domestic Violence... I'm currently taking requests on what outtake readers would like to see, so make your voice heard.**

**Even though I swore I wouldn't enter any more contests... I'm writing an entry for the Pick a Pic Challenge. If you're interested in reading my entry (already well over 11,000 words and no end in sight) put me on author alert. This should be out by the end of December.**

**Sorry for the long note! Reviewers get TEASED...**


	17. Chapter 17 You See Straight Through Me

**A/N: Hello, everyone! I must apologize for taking so long to update this story. I had a severe case of writer's block on this one for a while, but I'm back on track. Thanks to all of you for the PMs of encouragement and understanding. I have the best readers ever.**

**Thanks to my pre-readers, Keye and Sandy, for their awesomeness. A special thank you to Sandy for the musical inspiration for this chapter.**

**Jess (jkane180) is the fastest beta in the West, hands down, and I'm so lucky to have her. Again, I apologize for not sending out teasers, but I thought you'd rather have the chapter instead.**

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**Chapter Seventeen**

**~You See Straight Through Me~**

**~o~  
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**Suggested listening for this chapter:**

**You Can't Fight Fate ~ Taylor Dayne**

**You See Through Me ~ Chris Taylor**

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**~*Damon*~**

While Billy was at Edward and Bella's wedding, I wandered the little house until I grew restless. I was somewhat familiar with the lay of the land here from when I came to talk to Bella—the day that Edward nearly killed me. I was so grateful that my life didn't end before I found out what Tanya had done to me, how she'd tricked me.

Wandering away from the house, I ended up at the beach. There was a cool breeze coming in as the waves swelled; the setting sun glinted off the water, creating golden arcs of light that sparkled and danced along the ripples.

I knew what I had to do.

Sitting down on a log, I gazed out over the water, breathing deeply of the salt air. It was therapeutic and fresh—clean. There had been nothing _clean_ about my life for a long time, and I deeply regretted so many things. The slippery slope to hell is sometimes disguised as beauty.

I _knew_ what I had to do.

I'd come to the conclusion over the past several weeks that it didn't matter if Tanya had tricked me, brainwashed me, woven a spell over me—I had violated a human being. A very beautiful, sweet, _innocent_ human being. No matter who forgave me,_ I _would never fully forgive myself.

The waves crashed onto the sand, creating a roaring sound in my ears. The sky grew darker as night fell, and the moon rose up over the water, creating glints of silver that sparkled on the surf—from golden to silver, warmth to coldness. Deep inside me, a voice spoke—a voice I hadn't heard in a long time. The voice of my soul.

_I accepted what I had to do._

A few hours passed as peace grew in my heart. It was the uneasy truce between the mind and the soul once you'd realized your course and accepted it. Was I happy? Fuck no. I didn't know if there would be any space in this life for me to ever be happy, but I'd made peace, and that was often far harder to do. Usually, the mind would balk at what the soul knew to be true, at the secrets that weren't usually acknowledged, but I'd grown beyond that. I was forced to grow beyond that.

"Penny for your thoughts, man."

Jacob.

"Back from the wedding already?" I asked without turning around. I continued to watch the silvery glint on the water; I was completely fascinated by the change from warm, comforting gold to cool, clinical silver. How had I never fully realized that you could see the same exact thing in such different ways—that all around us were double-edged swords—try to grab one without considering the other and be cut deep.

I felt the log shift as Jacob plopped down next to me. "Yeah, it's a done deal. I never thought I'd find myself at a leech's wedding, let alone accepting of his marriage to the woman I once loved. Life is really fucking strange."

"You can say that again." I laughed humorlessly.

"So, what's going on in that head of yours? You seem to be so deep in thought."

"Deep in knowledge, Jacob. Deep in acceptance." I glanced to the side, taking in Jacob's profile. I began to speak, trusting my cousin that I hardly knew, and I bared my soul to him. I shared my decisions with him. I took a chance, and I spoke for a long time. Jacob listened, lowering his head down and scrubbing his hand over his spiky hair.

When I finished, Jacob let out a breath. "Fuck, man."

"That about sums it up, I suppose."

"Are you sure? I mean, don't you want a chance... at a normal life?"

I snorted. "Normal, Jacob? Really? Do you think there's even a chance now that I could just 'move on' and have a normal life?"

"Nah, I guess not. But... wow."

"Please don't tell anyone." I put a hand on his arm.

"I won't."

"Especially not Lainey."

"You have my word."

We got up and dusted off, preparing to go back to the house to change before the bonfire. We walked side by side, and my heart swelled because this man next to me now considered me his equal—even if it wasn't deserved.

"Damon."

"Yeah?"

"I want to help," he said softly.

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"I'll tell."

"Fuck."

And that's how we came to be partners in my soul's journey.

~*O*~

Back at Billy's, we changed into hoodies and long shorts. Bonfires were apparently a big deal here, and I was looking forward to joining in on the fun. Life had _not_ been fun of late, and I suspected it might never be again, so I intended to enjoy this.

"Dude, you need to get that emo look off your face! We're going to drink beer, roast wienies, and see who can scarf down the most. These guys are looking forward to you being here now that they know the truth. Lighten the fuck up."

A smile tugged at my lips. "Okay, okay. I'll try."

"There you go." Jacob slapped me on the back.

When it was time, we headed down to the beach where there was already a fair-sized crowd surrounding the bonfire, which was already in full bloom, the golden-orange flames licking at the air. I was told that, tonight, it would just be the young folks—the pack. No elders, no Billy. Lainey opted to stay and chat with Billy, and I had mixed feelings about that—I could tell she did, too. Awkward.

As we approached the bonfire on the beach, we could hear catcalls, insults and laughing going on. It was something that I'd imagined they did here, and finding out that they actually _did_, witnessing the camaraderie, just made me resent my father a little bit more.

"Yo, guys!" Jacob cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled out. "Dig deep... try to find some manners. The guest of honor is here."

We stepped into the ring of light cast by the fire, and all their eyes were on me. "Hey," I said lamely, flipping them a wave.

I needn't have worried, though; they all started talking at once, some of them clapping me on the back, others bumping fists with me. Someone got me a beer, another a plate with some roasted hot dogs. It felt... like home. Tears pricked at my eyes, but there was no fucking way I was going to cry in front of a bunch of guys. That was_ not_ the first impression I wanted to make.

"Damon, I'd like you to meet Paul, Embry, Quil, Seth and Jared. Leah, our only female pack member, is running late. There will be a test later, so try to remember everything." Jacob snickered.

Before I knew it, I was part of the group; drinking beer with them and scarfing down hot dog after hot dog. There were some crude jokes exchanged since there were no ladies present, and I found myself being asked questions about Alaska—about our tribe's ways. I answered them and watched as fascination took hold. The guys looked at each other with questions in their eyes, but they didn't say anything.

"Guy, guys..." Jacob called them to attention. "I wanted to take this time to let you know that Sam has remained in Alaska to work with Eliza, their tribe Shaman. Sam's learning about the tribe's customs, and he'll be teaching us how to phase into alternate forms when he returns."

The careful glances and quiet whispers suddenly erupted into a lot of hooting and hollering.

"What's all the hoopla about?" a very soft, very feminine voice asked.

Before I even turned around, I felt it; there was a coiling in my chest, and her voice caressed me like a lover._ Oh, hell no._

"Leah! It's about time, woman!" Paul yelled out, laughing. "Come and meet our new brother."

I was glued to the spot, staring down at the sand between my feet. If I got up and ran, would this stop? Probably not. The timing absolutely sucked. "No, no, no, no, no..." I whispered over and over like a mantra.

"Damon?" Jacob's strong arm was around my shoulders. "What the – _oh!_ Oh, shit."

Jacob knew. It didn't surprise me, considering he'd just been through it himself. The cosmos had a sick sense of humor.

I barely heard the guys around me, asking what was wrong. But I _did_ hear every sound Leah's skin made, her bare feet rubbing across the sand as she made her way over to me slowly. I heard her indrawn breath as she realized what was happening and the sound of her playing nervously with the beads that adorned her wrist.

"Holy shit," she whispered, and the expletive sounded like a choir of angels.

"Jacob, I can't. _Do_ something..." I begged weakly.

"There's nothing to be done, man. You have to accept it. Believe me, when Lainey tried to deny me, I thought my chest would explode."

And then she was standing right in front of me. My eyes lit on her feminine little feet—there was a toe ring on her right third toe—moving up her thin, muscled, tanned legs to the _tiny little shorts_ that hugged her slim hips. My eyes were burning from the sight of her, but I couldn't stop. My gaze moved over her torso, which was hidden inside a baggy hoodie, and traveled up the slim, shapely column of her neck until I reached her true beauty. Her angular face was graced with full lips, high cheekbones—and her eyes!—they were deep brown pools of fascination, wide and wondering, as she took me in even as I greedily gaped at her. Leah's jet black hair was cut in a chin-length bob, and it did nothing to detract from her beauty.

Recovering quickly, Leah smiled down at me. "What a way to meet the new guy, huh?"

Suddenly, there was silence, and then all the guys yelled out at once, "Awwwww!" "Leah finally imprinted!" "Way to go, Damon!" "Holy shit!"

Leah looked back at them with an amused smirk on her face. "Shut your pie holes! Have a little respect, huh?" She turned back toward me and nudged Jacob with her leg. "Move it, you brute."

Jacob got up, and Leah replaced him on the log next to me. She took my hand in hers and ran her index finger over it gently. "Hey," she said softly.

I turned my head her way, looking down at her. "I had no idea..."

Leah's lips turned up in a gentle smile. "How could you, Damon? When _this_ happens, it just happens. There's no stopping it or controlling it."

"How can you be so calm about it?" I asked her, fascinated.

"There are things you can do something about and things that you can't. Imprinting is our genes' way of knowing exactly who our perfect match is. I'm not about to try to fight fate, and I hope you won't either. Is there something you find lacking in me?" She was asking about me finding her lacking, but her self-confidence never seemed to waver; she simply wanted to know.

"No. Of course not! This is just the worst time for this, Leah..."

"Why's that?"

"Because... I have a journey to go on, and it's one I must face on my own. I might not be returning—at least not alive. I'm afraid of what it would do... to you."

"We don't need to worry about that."

"What do you mean?"

"You just have to come home to me. As your imprint, I demand it." Leah cocked her head to the side.

"But you can't... I really might not – "

Leah placed a hand over my mouth. "Uh, uh! Quiet your mind, Damon. Again, whether or not you come home is one of those things we have no control over. Have faith, and know that I'll be here waiting for you."

Reaching out, I traced my fingertips along her cheek; her skin was so soft, so alive under my hand. How could I not come home to her? For the first time in my life, I really belonged somewhere, to someone. "I'll do whatever I can, Leah. I promise if it's at all possible, I'll return to you."

It was a bittersweet event; I'd finally found a place I could belong—and a woman I could belong to—but I might never get the chance to enjoy any of it. At that moment, I longed for Eliza and her words of wisdom, and I feared that I would never set eyes on her again either.

**~*Edward*~**

"No..."

"Please... don't."

I sat in the butter-soft leather seat of the private jet we were taking to Italy, listening to Bella dream of being violated. Over and over. Again and again. I'd thought she might be getting past the dreams since she hadn't had one in a while, but apparently not. Carlisle and I avoided looking directly at each other, but we couldn't help but hear every whimper, plea and sigh that passed her lips.

"Why are you doing this?" she cried plaintively, thrashing her arms and legs.

I leaned over, holding her wrists so she wouldn't hurt herself, and I could feel the staccato beat of her pulse against my fingers. "Bella... I'm here. You're okay."

"No! How do you look just like my Edward?"

Bella's heart rate was rising, her breaths grew shallow, and she started to struggle mightily, kicking her legs out. Carlisle looked out his window, his finger tapping against his lip in contemplation. His thoughts were shielded from me, although I wasn't trying too hard to read him because my attention was focused on Bella.

I was thankful we weren't on a commercial flight; that would've been quite awkward.

"Should I wake her?" I asked Carlisle in a hushed whisper.

"Try not to, son. If she's in danger of hurting herself, you'll have no choice, of course."

"I hate you..." Bella's voice came out lowly and filled with venom. My head turned her way quickly, shocked to hear such words from her. "I _hate_ you for what you've done!"

I flinched, feeling as though Bella had kicked me in the stomach. Could those words be for me? Had I let her down, left her unprotected so she could fall victim to Tanya's evil plans? Was there more I could have done?

Leaning in toward her, I whispered, "I'm sorry, Bella. Please forgive me."

"No. I'll never forgive you!" she spat, fighting harder against my hands that were still wrapped around her wrists.

_Edward, she's not talking to you. Don't go there—don't let the guilt over not being there come back in._

I knew Carlisle was right, but I couldn't help but feel as though her words were meant for me—or at least that I was partially to blame. It hurt me to restrain her this way because it obviously bothered her and reminded her of being violated.

"Father, I can't – "

"Wake her then."

Leaning closer, I tried to whisper her awake, to talk her gently out of her distress. "Bella? Bella, please wake up. It's Edward, and you're okay, love. We're on the plane." Letting one of her wrists go, I stroked her cheek, reveling in the soft feel of her creamy skin. "Bella..."

Her brows scrunched up, and her struggling ceased, although her heart continued to race in her chest. Slowly, she swam up to consciousness, opening her eyes, which she rubbed at sleepily.

"Edward?" she questioned with a yawn, looking at her surroundings with confusion. When she finally focused her eyes, she didn't like what she saw in mine. "Edward... what's wrong? Did something happen?"

"No, love." I brought our joined hands up to my lips and brushed a kiss across her knuckles, allowing my eyes to slip closed.

"Edward Cullen," Bella prodded. "What's going on?"

"You were dreaming," I answered against her knuckles, my eyes still closed.

"And?"

"You said... things. Bella, you aren't over what happened. You said 'I hate you,' and while I know it wasn't directed at _me_, it was disturbing to hear nonetheless."

"Of course I'm not over what happened!" Bella's eyes grew large. "Did you think I was?"

"No. You've been dealing with it so well, though—a little too well maybe."

Bella lowered her eyes until her lashes brushed against the skin beneath her eyes, and I could no longer see warm chocolate. "Sometimes it's really hard..." she whispered so low that if I was human, I might have missed it. "I love you, Edward, and I know you would do anything for me—anything to keep me safe... but, sometimes it's not enough."

"What do you mean it's not enough?"

"The fear, the anger... it rears up inside me unbidden. I can't control it, and it's disturbing. I'm angry that I have no attacker to blame..." Her eyes came up to meet mine, and they were haunted.

"You mean because Damon was brainwashed?" I asked.

"Yes." Her voice was strangled, and she gripped my hands so tightly in hers, as though afraid if she let go, she would drift off into a lonely sea without me. "Damon was a victim, too. I can't blame him for violating me... and so I find myself at a loss. I can't deny the anger I feel when I think about Tanya, but, Edward, I've never even met her!" Bella wailed, trying to pull her hands away.

Instead of allowing her the use of her hands to dig into her hair or claw at her face, I pulled our joined hands up to my lips and kissed them. "Please, Bella, let me be here for you. Let me shoulder as much of this as possible." I sighed then, thinking of where we were headed—straight into the lions' den. "Are you certain you want to come to Italy with me? We can turn this jet around right now, Bella."

"No, Edward. I want to go to Italy; I _need_ to go there. You're the brightest light in my life, and I don't ever want you to forget that. I love you, Mr. Cullen." She smiled, looking more like the Bella I knew.

Reaching over, I slipped my hand behind her hair, bringing my lips next to her ear. "I love_ you,_ Mrs. Cullen. Forever."

~*)*~

When our plane touched down, there was a Volturi entourage waiting for us, which caused me to feel uneasy. I could see Jane, Demetri and Felix standing at the edge of the tarmac in the shade of a tin roof jutting out from one of the hangars. Since those structures didn't usually have extended shelters, I suspected they'd had it added on as a measure of protection from the sun's rays.

Bella, ever the observant one, spotted them right away through her window. "Edward, the Volturi are here—Jane." Her heart beat a little faster, probably in remembrance of when Jane turned her power on me.

"Don't worry, love. They're just here to escort us to Volterra," I answered, but inside, I wasn't so sure about their motives. I glanced at Carlisle, who also appeared to be perturbed.

_I don't know why Aro sent them, Edward. We came of our own free will... it's almost as if they don't trust us for some reason. See if you can catch anything in their thoughts._

Before deplaning, I looked up at the sky to be sure the sun would not shine directly on me or Carlisle. The way was clear, so we descended the steps, walking slowly over to the Volturi Guard that were present to greet us. They simply stood against the side of the hangar waiting, not moving forward even a foot to meet us; their usual black cloaks had the hoods pulled up, creating a somewhat ominous trio. I'm sure it was purposeful; I just didn't know why. Scanning them left me dissatisfied—they were extremely good at shielding their thoughts.

Bella and I held hands as we crossed the tarmac and joined them beneath the tin shelter. Her heart was beating a bit faster than normal, but it was reasonable considering the situation. Carlisle walked a few steps behind us; his thought on the matter was we would appear less intimidating that way.

"Welcome, Cullens," Jane's child-like voice rang out. "You are all Cullens now, correct?"

"Hello, Jane. Yes, Bella is now my wife." I wondered why this mattered to her.

"Good." A self-satisfied smirk tugged at her lips, and for a moment, her mind slipped, and I saw Tanya and Jane's hatred of her. I narrowed my eyes, but the thought was gone almost as quickly as it came, like a wisp of smoke. "Welcome, Mrs Cullen. Aro will be pleased to meet with you."

"Th-Thank you," Bella stuttered, obviously surprised at the greeting as well. I pulled her in tighter against me to offer her reassurance—it was as much for me as for her. There was no turning back now, even if we wanted to. You didn't poke a stick into the hornet's nest that was The Volturi and then backpedal.

"Carlisle," Jane acknowledged.

"Jane, Demetri, Felix. It's good to see all of you again," Carlisle said, ever the diplomat.

"Shall we go? Aro is most anxious to see all of you. Our... guest has been instructed to make herself available for the meeting." Jane's eyes met mine, and although she didn't let her mental shield down, I knew she was telling me something. Maybe I was crazy, but she seemed to want to assist us in some way.

"Thank you, Jane." I nodded to her, letting her know I understood something was afoot.

Demetri and Felix said nothing; they simply turned almost as one unit and led us to the car they had waiting. An airport employee rushed over to the car with our luggage, and Felix stowed it in the trunk.

The ride was quiet, and Bella sat taking in the beautiful countryside as it went by. At one point, she murmured, "It's beautiful. The last time I was here... I didn't notice." She turned her head, her eyes meeting mine. "Alice and I were in such a hurry to get to you..."

I swallowed thickly, not wanting to think about that awful time when I almost ended my existence without knowing Bella still walked the earth... breathing, loving, wanting. It truly would've been a Romeo and Juliet ending if she'd gotten there just five minutes later. I pulled her closer against me, thankful we were still together after all we'd been through. I longed to whisper words of love in her ear, but the thought of _them_ hearing me was decidedly unappealing, so I settled for brushing my lips up against Bella's cheek and squeezing her hand. Her eyes flitted over Jane, Demetri and Felix nervously, and I surmised that she understood that whatever we said would be heard and cataloged for later consumption by Aro. A shiver went through her—it was good for her to be wary of them. I knew I was.

~*O*~

When we arrived the The Castle Volturi, we were directed straight to the throne room. Strangely, Aro sat upon the dais alone. The only other vampires in evidence were Renata—who hovered a few feet behind him—and Jane, Demetri and Felix. I'd expected a full court of vampires similar to when... I halted the direction of my thoughts, not wanting to go there.

Carlisle was disturbed by this as well. _Why are there so few of The Volturi in evidence? Where are Caius and Marcus?_

Aro stood as we entered the chamber, sweeping his arms out theatrically. "Well, well... just look at the three of you! A sight for sore eyes. Come, come!"

If he wasn't a vampire, I'd wonder if he'd been hitting the sauce. Something was strange here, but I wasn't sure what. Aro's thoughts were also shielded for the most part.

"Aro." I nodded in deference. "You remember my wife, Bella."

Aro's eyes grew larger, and he smiled. "Ah, newlyweds! How sweet. Please accept my heartfelt congratulations."

"Thank you, Aro," Bella said graciously, taking his offered hand. Aro appeared slightly disappointed that he couldn't 'read' anything from her.

_And not a moment too soon. I was beginning to wonder if you were going back on your word, young Edward._

"Certainly not," I whispered so low Bella couldn't hear.

"Good to know. Very good to know." Aro's gaze fell on Carlisle. "And how are you, old friend? Where is the lovely Esme?"

"It's good to see you, Aro. Esme had other responsibilities with her work and wasn't able to join us. She sends you her best, though." Carlisle stepped up a bit closer.

Aro nodded at someone behind us, and I sensed Jane slipping out the door. He turned back to me. "So, Edward, I understand that you wish to let us know some information. I want to make it clear before we begin that while I'm willing to_ listen_, The Volturi will not be getting involved in your... domestic disputes."

"Understood, Aro. I thought it might be more effective if you took my hand. In particular, to go back to a night a few months ago when I came home to... the aftermath of what Tanya set in motion."

Aro's eyes glittered with undisguised glee; he couldn't wait to delve into my memories, to see my pain. I hated this, hated the very thought of Aro seeing the suffering that Bella and I had gone through these past few months, but it was the only way he would see. The thought of Tanya spending a comfortable life of luxury here with The Volturi was too much to bear. Bella didn't want me to kill Tanya, but that didn't mean I was going to make it easy for that _bitch_ to pull the wool over Aro's eyes. Let's face it, Aro's opinion was the only one that really mattered around here, and I knew Tanya well enough to know that he would be her main target for seduction.

"You would let me see?" Aro asked almost reverently.

"I will. But I want your word that it stays between us. This is our private hell; it's not for others to know."

"You have my word." Aro held his hand out eagerly.

Before taking it, I turned to Bella. "Is this okay with you, Bella?"

"Yes, it's fine. Let him see what she did." Bella looked at me, and her eyes radiated anger. It was something I'd never seen in her, no matter what we'd been through, and it scared me a little. Then she turned to Aro. "I wish I could show you what she did to me, Aro. I wish you could see into _my_ mind."

Carlisle put a hand on her arm. "Bella, why don't you stand by me while Edward and Aro converse?" he suggested quietly. After a slight hesitation, Bella moved back beside him.

Taking the final two steps up onto the dais, I held my hand out to Aro. Taking it, he probed slowly at first, but the memories grew quickly in momentum, and I could read him even as he read me.

_Walking into the cottage and finding Bella cowering in her robe, skin rubbed red and raw._

_The way she shied away from me, so distrustful, fearing that it wasn't really me._

_The walks we would take together as she slowly began to trust me again, to lean on me._

_My stuffing down of my guilt and emotions until the night I heard the rape replayed as Bella talked in her sleep... the same night I lost it and destroyed the cottage._

_Finding out that Damon took Bella somewhere and almost killing her in my rage to get to him._

And then I realized my mistake as the memory of Eliza passed through my mind. I tried to move onto another memory, but her healing of Bella and the story she told us of how Tanya had manipulated Damon was far too strong. Aro's eyes snapped to mine.

"What is this?" he asked. "A healer? A psychic? Is she also a shape-shifter?"

"I'm not sure, Aro." And the truth was that I _wasn't_ sure of Eliza's status. I suspected her to be a shifter because Aaron was her imprint, but I'd never seen her phase.

"These are not werewolves though."

"No, Aro. They're shape-shifters."

"Our natural enemies. There's another tribe of them in Alaska?"

"They helped us. The Alaska tribe is peaceful... different. If it weren't for them, Bella would be dead. Please, Aro."

Aro held up a hand to quiet me. "We'll need to investigate this further. A threat to The Volturi cannot be allowed."

"They aren't a threat to you!" I snatched my hand away before he could see anything more, but the damage had already been done. "You'll harbor a disgusting animal like Tanya, and yet you wish to go after the ones who helped to clean up the aftermath?" My eyes blazed, my jaw tightened, and I knew I was on shaky ground.

Felix and Demetri drew closer, and they didn't look pleased. Renata put a hand on Aro's shoulder, appearing affronted as she looked me up and down as though I was something dirty.

Aro grabbed me by the jaw, his crimson eyes filled with anger. "Take care, Edward. Your behavior is bordering on insolent. Carlisle's son or not, that won't be tolerated."

Bella let out a cry, and Carlisle held her back when she tried to come to me. I put a hand out to stop her, to let her know she should stay where she was.

When Aro dropped his hand, I bowed my head. "I'm sorry, Aro. I meant no disrespect. I'm sure you can understand how distraught I've been." I hated deferring to this megalomaniac, but it was the safest way.

"Apology accepted. We will need to meet this Eliza and Aaron, though. I need to assess if they are a threat to us. I can see from your thoughts that you don't believe they are, but nevertheless, I must find out for myself. I promise you we won't... do anything rash."

Any further chance at conversation ended when the doors opened once again, and Jane strode in with Tanya in tow. Her eyes zeroed right in on me, and a smile spread across her face. A smile of hope, which simply indicated that she'd gone around the bend—as if I needed further proof after what she'd already done.

"Edward..." she whispered. "You came."

Tanya was a beautiful woman. Her long, strawberry-blonde hair swirled in soft ringlets halfway down her back, framing her exquisite features. She was wearing a flowing red dress that showed off every curve she had to advantage. She presented a pretty picture... until you got to her eyes. It was obvious that she was crazy. Demented thoughts swirled in her mind, and I was shocked in spite of myself.

_Oh, my God! Is Edward here for me? Is he here to take me away from this? Has he finally realized that Bella is too plain for his beauty? _

And then a vision of the two of us filled her head—the two of us having sex—with her being my 'first.' Nearly gagging, I turned away. I caught a stray thought from Jane.

_She actually believes Edward would want her. Stupid bitch. Just wait until Aro finds out she was with Demetri. Haha. Then he won't want to have any more gloved encounters with her skanky ass._

My eyes widened, and Jane smirked at me.

_You shouldn't read others if you aren't prepared for what you might see, Edward. You have no idea what's been going on around here._

Apparently not. The one phrase that stuck out to me was 'gloved encounter.' Tanya must have somehow convinced Aro not to touch her with his hands. If he had, he would have seen her treachery right away. It appeared that Jane was no fan of Tanya's. _Interesting_.

Aro's head came up, and he motioned to Tanya. "My dear, come in. Come and greet our guests."

Tanya hesitated, but Jane moved closer to her with narrowed eyes, and that was all it took to get Tanya moving our way. She hadn't acknowledged Bella's presence; either she didn't realize I'd brought Bella with me, or she was ignoring her on purpose.

As she drew closer, her eyes were trained on me.

_Edward, have you come for me? Did you finally come to your senses?_

I ignored her thoughts, schooling my features into a neutral expression. When she was a few feet away, Aro spoke again. "Tanya, may I be the first to introduce you to Edward's bride, Bella Cullen?" His face was full of a spiteful glee that he couldn't hide.

"Wh-what?" Tanya gasped, her mouth hanging open. She turned to face me, a look of betrayal twisting her features.

"You've got to be kidding me," I muttered.

Bella stepped up next to me, and I took her hand in mine, rubbing my thumb over her knuckles. Her heart was beating double-time, but I was unsure if it was fear, anger or a mixture of them causing it.

"That's right." Aro swept his arm toward us. "The newlyweds are here to visit. Congratulations are in order."

Carlisle stepped forward. "Aro, is this really appropriate? Considering..."

"A good dose of reality is what the doctor ordered for us all today." Aro's smile faded, his face growing hard, and I knew his words wielded more weight than he was letting on.

Clenching my jaw, I answered between gritted teeth, "Aro, please. You saw what she did to us! Surely we don't need to go on with this charade?" Aro didn't answer, and Tanya's gaze was fixed on him now. "At the least, she should beg for Bella's forgiveness! She's not fit to kiss Bella's feet!" My voice rose, and I felt Bella's hand stroking my arm.

"What?" Tanya shrieked. "She's food! She's a plain, boring human! When will you come to your senses and realize she's not who you belong to?"

I rounded on Tanya, pulling my arm away from Bella. "Who I _belong _to? Do you hear yourself? Are you daft enough to believe I would _ever _want you? You disgust me! The only reason you're still walking this earth is because of Bella!" I roared.

_I should take Bella's head clean off. Maybe then the spell would be broken, and Edward would realize how good we could be together. Stupid, plain, human! Maybe if I move fast..._

Before Tanya's muscles could twitch, I slammed into her, and we skidded all the way into the far wall. I pinned her by the neck against the marble, which was now cracked in spots.

"You bitch! You filthy whore! If you were the last female walking this earth, I wouldn't want you!" I spat at her.

Tanya's eyes glittered as they met mine boldly. "Why so much emotion if you don't care for me, Edward? There's a fine line between – "

"Don't," I growled, pressing my other hand against her mouth.

Aro spoke up. "Jane."

And I realized that they could do anything they wanted with us. If Aro decided to, he could have Jane incapacitate me while he allowed Tanya to kill Bella. What was I thinking coming here? What arrogance led me to believe this would be a safe or healthy experience for Bella? _Stupid._

_Edward, think fast. I hope you're a good actor... _Jane's thought hit me a split second before the pain did.

"AH!" I cried out, my hand closing convulsively around Tanya's throat. And then Tanya was screaming as the pain left me, and I realized what Jane meant by being a good actor—she could only jolt one person at a time, and she'd switched to Tanya. I continued to release agonized screams, and I closed my hand tighter around Tanya's slender neck. Her body shook with painful spasms, and her eyes bugged out, but she was unable to speak.

"Jane, what the hell is happening?" Aro yelled.

"I don't know, Master. Perhaps because they are touching..."

"Stop then!"

"As you wish, Master."

_Take that, you bitch. _Jane's tinkling laugh filled her mind, allowing the pain to go on a few more seconds before releasing Tanya from her bubble of agony.

Felix and Demetri flanked me, and I knew they would soon pull me from Tanya. "Wait!" I implored them. While they hesitated, I called out to Aro. "Aro! The reason I attacked Tanya is because she was planning to hurt Bella. I heard it in her mind. I'm willing to bet she's never allowed you to touch her with your hands—something that may be to your detriment. She's a snake."

Aro came down from the dais, gliding across the floor. "Felix, Demetri, I want you to hold Tanya there. We can't have her hurting one of our guests, especially not the lovely Mrs. Cullen."

Tanya hissed.

I hissed back. "You're one lucky bitch, Tanya. If we were somewhere else, I'd be roasting marshmallows over your remains right now." Squeezing her neck tighter for a few seconds, I let go, stepping back.

Felix and Demetri grabbed her by the arms. One of them would have been more than enough to hold her there, but they made a show of it. Demetri leaned in close to Tanya and licked her from the bottom of her neck up to her ear. "Just you wait," he whispered.

Then I saw in his mind what he'd done to her, and my mouth dropped open just a bit.

Jane tittered next to me. _Did you enjoy the show, Edward? I think she deserved that and more._

I turned to stare at Jane, my forehead scrunching in consternation. Why was she helping us? What did she care?

_You're probably wondering what my motive is here. I may not like you that much, Edward, but I absolutely despise Tanya. She takes up all Aro's time, and she's despicable. What she did to Bella was disgusting and unforgivable. I'll do what I can to make her life here a living hell; rest assured of that. _A spiteful smile spread across Jane's face as her eyes flicked over to Tanya.

Aro reached us, looking at Tanya reproachfully. "Do we have secrets that we need to share, Tanya?"

"No..." Tanya shook her head, eyes growing wide. "You promised, Aro."

"Did I? But now there's a question of your loyalty. There can't be things I don't know about going on under my roof."

Slowly, I backed away until I was beside Carlisle, and I took Bella into my arms. I kissed her hair, thankful that I read Tanya's intent before something disastrous happened. Bella's arms slid around my waist, and she laid her head down on my chest. "I love you, Bella. I'm sorry about this—about her."

Bella just shook her head and held me tighter.

My thoughts were interrupted by the screeching that started up across the room. "But, Aro! You promised not to invade my privacy!"

"Demetri, give me your hand." Aro's tone held no room for questioning.

"Yes, sire." Demetri bowed his head, placing one of his hands against Aro's obediently. I thought I saw his lips twitch, fighting back a smile, but I couldn't be entirely sure.

A deep growl came from Aro, and his head snapped up. "What's the meaning of _this_?"

"See what he did to me, Aro? He's depraved!" Tanya whined.

Aro's eyes turned her way. "You are to go back to your chambers and remain there. Felix, post guards outside the door; she's not to go anywhere until I've decided."

"_Me?_ You want to imprison me? Look what he did to me! He's a fucking animal!"

"And you were so unwilling, were you?" Aro spat. "Get her out of here."

Felix and Demetri dragged Tanya kicking and screaming from the room with twin smirks on their faces. Apparently, Tanya hadn't made many friends in The Castle Volturi.

* * *

**A/N: I did the predictable thing and had Damon and Leah imprint. That was not originally my plan, but it fell into place, and many of you clamored for it. I don't usually like to do the predictable, and I went back and forth with myself over it. I hope everyone likes the way it went. I'd love to hear your thoughts on it as well as what you thought of Edward's interaction with Tanya!**

**SIATP has been nom'd in The Vampies. Thank you so much to whoever nom'd me! 'I Want It Painted Black' and 'I Saw You Coming' were also nom'd. Links to the site are on my profile. You guys rock my socks!**

**I've written a collab with the lovely wmr1601 for Foxy Fics called 'Speak Now.' The Prologue is up on my profile, and we will be continuing the story after the fundraiser.**

**For those of you who are waiting for 'Broken Windows' to update... I'm working on it now! You'll be treated to an EPOV. Thanks for reading!**

**Follow me on Twitter (at) SaritaDreaming for all sorts of randomness and sometimes teaserish info.  
**


	18. Chapter 18 The Seeds of Fate

**A/N: Thank you my very patient and loyal readers. I apologize for the long wait, but I hope you feel it was worth it.**

**Putting a warning on this chapter for sexual depravity. Nothing graphic, but I like to warn ahead of time.**

**Profuse thanks to my awesome pre-readers and friends, Keye and Sandy, for their invaluable feedback and cheerleading. I love you guys!**

**Huge thank yous and piles of Damon pOrn to my beta, Jess (jkane180), for catching all my little snafus. Mwah!**

* * *

**Chapter Eighteen**

**~The Seeds of Fate~**

_**We always long for the forbidden things, and desire what is denied us. ~ Francois Rebelais**_

* * *

**~*Edward*~**

I stood there in shock as Tanya was hauled away, kicking and screaming. Aro's eyes glittered with anger and betrayal, and then his control slipped due to the strong emotions flowing through him, allowing me a glimpse into his thoughts.

_That little bitch! She led me on... I was prepared to make her my queen!_

An involuntary shudder ran through me at the thought of Tanya being in a place of power within the Volturi, and that alone reassured me that we made the right decision by taking the trip here. If we accomplished nothing else, it was assured that Tanya would _never_ be in a position to do us harm through Volturi channels.

"Aro –" I began.

"Silence!" he yelled, eyes blazing. His arms were flung out, and he looked like some sort of mad conductor.

Bella cringed against me, and I wrapped my arms tighter around her. I didn't dare change our position and chance drawing more of Aro's attention; he was in a foul mood, and there was no telling what he might do or who he might lash out at.

Jane glided over to stand before Aro with her head bowed. "Master," she whispered reverently. "Shall I prepare you an afternoon snack?"

Aro seemed to snap out of his trance, he looked down on Jane with obvious affection—that of a father for a daughter—and he seemed to calm significantly. "Yes, quite. An afternoon snack is just what the doctor ordered." He let out a high-pitched laugh that sent a shiver through Bella's body.

Clapping his hands together, Aro turned to face us. "So, how long are you planning to stay here in Italy?"

"We're leaving right away," I informed him. "I didn't realize... the gravity of the situation, and this is difficult for my wife."

"Are you sure we can't persuade you to stay, Edward? You've come such a long way, after all."

"Another time, perhaps. Thank you for your hospitality."

Carlisle moved closer and spoke, "Yes, Aro, I think it's best if we return to home. This has been hard on all of us, but especially Bella."

Aro looked us over carefully, considering. His thoughts moved on to Tanya and his eagerness to deal with her. He felt he'd have to hold back if we were present in the castle, so it was in his best interests if we left as well. Quickly, he schooled his expression into one of sympathy.

"But of course. Our dear, dear Bella mustn't be stressed. Go on then. Jane and Alec will accompany you."

"No need for that, Aro."

"I insist." The dangerous glimmer in Aro's eyes warned me not to argue.

_Let him have his way, Edward, _Carlisle's thoughts confirmed.

"Thank you, Aro. We greatly appreciate it, and I apologize for making a scene earlier."

"Oh, no, my boy! On the contrary, I'm incredibly happy for your outburst; you saved me from making a grave error." Aro smiled, but his eyes were filled with an insane light. "Tanya will be... dealt with, I assure you. Come and see us again once Bella has been turned. She's going to be magnificent!"

Pressing Bella's body closer to mine, I simply nodded.

Jane informed Aro that she would arrange his 'snack' on her way out, and then she led us back to the car. The sun was dipping below the horizon, and long shadows played across the cobblestone streets and stone structures. The air was eerily still, and there was an ominous feeling pervading the quiet town. Part of me wondered what fate would befall Tanya at Aro's hands, but a larger part of me didn't want to know. My part in Tanya's life was over—I'd come here and done what I needed to. Everyone knew what a lying, disloyal bitch she really was, and I had the chance to tell her in no uncertain terms how little I thought of her. I couldn't deny a sense of satisfaction over having had my hands around her throat while Jane blasted her with that napalm-like pain. I remembered all too well what Jane could dish out—although today, she gave me only enough to prompt me to scream realistically.

Bella was quiet for the entire ride to the airport; she seemed to be completely withdrawn and barely acknowledged me at all. I feared what this meant for her—for us—and I prayed that I hadn't done more damage by bringing her to Italy. Thank God Aro was focused on Tanya's betrayal and wanted us gone; otherwise, we might have been forced to stay. Whatever Aro had in mind for Tanya, he didn't want any outside witnesses. That was fine by me; the bitch deserved whatever she got and more.

I reached out to hold Bella's hand in my own, and I was encouraged when she didn't pull away. I rubbed my thumb gently across her knuckles, and I think it calmed me more than it helped her. Carlisle said nothing, but his thoughts were disturbing.

_I'm worried for Bella. She's been through events that no human should have to deal with. It's bad enough to be raped, but being dragged into the supernatural world even more than she already was by that violence... I just don't know, Edward. She's a strong young woman, but there's only so far you can push the human psyche before it... snaps._

I didn't answer Carlisle's thoughts; there was no need—he knew how worried I was about Bella. I also didn't want Jane or Alec to witness any of our pain. I could whisper low enough to keep my concerns from Bella's ears—not that I'm entirely sure she would have heard me in her current state—but there was no way to keep the other vampires in the car from catching every word. Maybe Jane helped us today, but I didn't trust her; she did what was in her best interests, what amused her the most.

When we arrived at the airport, it was completely transformed by the darkness—blinking lights lined the runways to guide the planes in and out safely. I felt like my guide lights had been extinguished; I was unsure what was going through my wife's head or what I could do to help her. The only times I'd felt helpless since becoming a vampire were intimately connected to Bella and her well-being, and this was no exception. The desire to change her so she would be completely protected was strong, and yet, if I changed her too soon, she would be riddled with issues similar to Rose.

Alec parked the car beside the plane, and as we ascended the steps, I turned to look at Jane. She simply inclined her head, her small form dwarfed by the limo. She looked lonely and lost standing there in her black cloak, but her regal bearing said otherwise. Still, I wondered about her—if her behavior wasn't a defense mechanism to avoid being hurt by others.

_Good luck, Edward. Until we meet again... _Her tinkling laughter filled my head.

What did she mean by that? But her thoughts were not open to me, and I had no desire to remain in Italy any longer than necessary. We settled in our seats, and as the plane took off, I could see Jane standing beside the car until she was a mere speck in my eye.

Bella allowed me to take her hand but fell asleep almost immediately. She still hadn't spoken in more than one or two word sentences, and my feeling of anxiety only increased. When we arrived at the airport in Seattle, Bella was groggy, so I carried her to the car and held her in my arms on the backseat for the ride home. She barely managed to stagger into the house under her own power when we arrived home just as night was falling.

"Bella? Are you all right?"

"Sure." Her eyes were dead and her movements sluggish as she prepared for bed. There was no sign of _my_ Bella there, and it scared the hell out of me.

"Bella..." I took her hand, turning her to face me, and she dropped the tank top and shorts from her shaking hand. "What's wrong, love? Talk to me. You're starting to scare me."

Bella's eyes flicked up to mine, and they were wide and frightened. Her gaze quickly moved away, and she suddenly found our joined hands endlessly fascinating.

"I... Edward, I..." she faltered, and I waited. Although I wanted to shake her and beg her to tell me what was wrong, patience was key. Bella had been through so much. "Edward, I just need... time. I thought I was better than I am... but being there... seeing _her_..."

"It's okay, Bella. I'm here for whatever you need, and I love you." Tugging her hand gently, I pulled her into my arms, and I was ecstatic when she allowed it. My fingers combed through her silken hair, and I wrapped my other arm tightly around her. "I won't let anyone hurt you ever again," I whispered.

Bella stiffened in my arms. "You can't make a promise like that, Edward. Until I'm like you, there will always be a chance that something horrible will happen to me."

"No. I'll take care of you. Our_ family _will take care of you."

"She wants me dead. I could see it in her eyes—the hatred. Tell me she wasn't going to try to kill me, Edward. Tell me that, and I'll believe I'm safe."

"Bella, I... I can't," I answered in defeat. _Damn it._ Why did she home in on that one thing? There was no way I was going to lie to Bella—not at this point in our relationship.

"That's what I thought," Bella sighed into my shirt. "But I'm not ready to become like you yet, Edward. I'm still mentally damaged; I know that. I need time to come to terms with all this."

"What does that mean? What does it mean for us?"

Bella clung to me, shaking. "I need you, Edward. I need you to be strong, to be here for me. Please give me the space to work things out in my head."

"Do you want me to... leave you alone? Should I stay out of our room when you sleep?" The thought sickened me.

"No. Can you just... hold me? I want you near me always, Edward, but I need room to breathe inside my own head. So even though I might seem somewhat... absent... I love you, and I need you. Do you get what I'm saying?" There was a fearful tone in Bella's voice, as if she thought I wouldn't understand, that I would demand more than she could give.

"Yes, I understand, love. I promise to be whatever you need. I'll give you as much space as you want. You can count on me, Bella. If you want me to just sit in the corner, I will."

"Thank you, Edward. I just need some time to gather myself together, but I don't want to be completely alone while I do it." She took my face between her hands, and her eyes looked more alive than I'd seen them over the past few days. Going up on tiptoe, she kissed my lips softly. "I love you, Edward Cullen."

"And I love you, Bella Cullen. Forever."

**~*Damon*~**

Jacob and I were organizing ourselves for the journey ahead. As I packed clothes and prepared myself mentally, I couldn't shut out the memory of Lainey's outburst when she'd found out Jacob was going with me. She deserved to be happy, and my quest might be leaving her and Leah both without their imprints. We had no idea how that might affect two young women, but although I'd tried to dissuade Jacob again, he insisted he must accompany me.

_We'd just gotten back from the bonfire, and Lainey knew something was wrong as soon as she looked into Jacob's eyes._

"_What's going on?" she asked breathlessly, her eyes widening with fear._

_I, of course, looked away like the coward that I am._

"_Baby," Jacob started._

"_Don't you 'baby' me! What have you done?" Her voice was filled with venom, and I knew it was directed toward me._

_Jacob answered her, "Don't blame Damon. This is all me."_

"_How's that?" Lainey shot up from her seat on the couch, stalking over to me. I was cowering in the corner of the kitchen like a pussy._

"_Laine..."_

"_Don't you dare! Damon Black, get your ass outside, right now. Jacob, you stay." Lainey's fingers gripped my shirt in her small fists, tugging hard._

_I couldn't deny this beautiful little creature that I'd once loved—part of me still loved. With a sigh, I turned to face her blazing glare and nodded. I owed her this much._

_We walked through the night in silence until we reached First Beach. The water was gently lapping at the shore, giving off a false sense of calm._

_As I explained the bald truth, her face crumpled—even the darkness couldn't diminish the impact. She presented me with her back and walked down the beach a ways. By the shaking of her shoulders, I could tell she was crying._

"_Laine, please. I'm so sorry." I reached a hand out, my fingers grazing her shoulder._

"_Don't touch me. This is so unfair. Why must he go with you?"_

"_I don't know. I tried to talk him out of it, but he says he'll tell everyone if I don't let him. For some reason, he feels this is part of his path, too."_

"_Fuck me. Damn Eliza!"_

"_Eliza? Why are you bringing her into this?"_

_Lainey sighed deeply. "Because _she knows_. Tell me she didn't give you any clues. Did she give you a gift? Something?"_

"_Well, she had me drink this special tea just before I left; she said I'm protected now. From what, I don't know, but Eliza is Eliza."_

_Lainey looked out over the water, her brow scrunched in consternation. "No... that couldn't be it. Something else?"_

_A memory of the day I left for La Push tugged at my mind. Jacob and I were just getting ready to leave... Vian! "It was Vian. He ran up as Jacob and I were taking off and handed me a pouch. He said Eliza wanted me to have it."_

"_And? What is it?" Lainey asked impatiently._

"_I don't know... some kind of powder. He said something like... 'You'll know when you need to use this. It will keep you from harm, and it can only be used twice.' That was it." I shrugged._

"_I think she meant it for you _and _Jacob. She knew he was coming with you all along. That's why Vian emphasized it could only be used twice." Lainey brought her hands up to hold her head. "Damn her! She's always about what's meant to be... it doesn't matter if what happens destroys lives."_

_Tugging Lainey by the arm, I pulled her to me and held her tight. Her slight body trembled against mine, and I could feel her rage, confusion and anguish. "Let it out, baby. I'm so sorry. You understand why I have to go, don't you?"_

"_Yes, damn it! Damn it all to hell!" Lainey let out a primal scream, her body shaking hard—but out of grief—she wasn't about to phase. Her tears soaked my shirt, and my own bitter tears slid down my face and into her hair._

"Damon... Damon!" Jacob's voice intruded on my reverie.

"Huh? What?" I blinked my eyes, the small bedroom I'd been sharing with Jacob coming back into focus. The queen-sized bed I was lounging on left barely enough space to walk around the room; a rickety dresser was stuffed in the corner by the only window, and the closet door couldn't fully open because it hit the side of the bed. If I wasn't so stressed out, I would've laughed at the two of us—big and brawny as we were—sharing this tiny space. _Not to mention, Jacob was a total bed hog._

"Where were you, man?" Jacob reached over and punched me in the arm.

"Remembering... forget it," I muttered. "This is so fucked up."

"The girls are just another reason to make it home, Damon," Jacob said softly.

Raising my head, I looked into Jacob's dark eyes. They held no malice toward me, no resentment that he was leaving his home and family behind, not knowing if he would return. He'd just found his imprint, and he was so willing to follow me into the pit of hell. I'd asked him several times why he was doing this, but he simply kept repeating that it was something he had to do. It was like bashing my head into a brick wall and expecting a different result each time—fruitless.

Jacob leaned over, grabbed a hoodie from the hook on the back of his closet door, and pulled it over his head. "I'm going to spend some time with Lainey before we leave. I suggest you do the same with Leah."

Our eyes met meaningfully, and I knew he was right. This might be my only chance to be near her for a long while—maybe at all.

~*O*~

I found Leah sitting on a log down by the water. Darkness was just falling, and the fading light cast a bluish tinge over everything. She wore a light blue hoodie over a pair of jeans. Her black hair looked soft and glossy, swinging freely around her face.

"Hey, Damon," she said softly, her back still to me. How did she know?

"Leah," I acknowledged. "How'd you know I was here?"

"Felt you," she said matter-of-factly. "How'd you know where to find _me_?"

"Touché." I plopped down next to her with my arms resting on my thighs, hands dangling between my knees, head down. This was all so new and confusing; I wasn't sure what etiquette dictated. Was I allowed to touch her? Were we supposed to 'court' each other? Jacob and I were leaving in the morning—there wasn't much time for anything.

A warm hand reached between my knees, the fingers entwining with mine. Her touch felt so _right, _so comforting. For the millionth time, I questioned if I deserved to have an imprint. Maybe I didn't violate Bella on my own, but I'd changed another's life so completely that there was no going back. Tanya used me as her instrument of destruction, but the fact that she was _able_ to rankled.

"Damon," Leah's soft voice was like a gentle caress. "You need to stop this. Sometimes fate has plans for us, and we need to bend to Her will."

"Jesus..." I scrubbed a hand over my face, looking up at the twinkling stars in the clear night sky. "You sound just like Eliza."

"Eliza?"

"Our tribe Shaman. She 'sees' things, knows things. She's always spewing all this cryptic shit... and I hang on every word she says because she's never steered me wrong."

Leah laughed lightly, and it was a beautiful sound. "Well, I'm honored to sound like Eliza. She must be a remarkable woman. Is she terribly old and wrinkled?"

"Eliza? Hell no! She's beautiful!" I slapped a hand over my mouth, realizing it wasn't polite to talk about how pretty someone else was with your girl.

"That's okay, Damon. It's just when I hear the term 'Shaman' it makes me think of an old woman with milky eyes."

"Nah. Eliza is a vision. She's got these silvery blue eyes and long, black, curly hair. I think she's in her mid-thirties, but nobody would ever dare to ask her, of course. Eliza has an aura of magic and strength about her; you can't help but listen to what she has to say."

"I'll bet the men line up for a chance with her..."

"No way. Nobody would dare approach her—they're too afraid she'd know all their secrets." I laughed. "Besides, her heart is taken."

"What does that mean?"

"She's the imprint of the chief of our tribe, but she refused him."

"What? I thought you couldn't refuse your imprint without... serious ramifications."

"Normally, you can't. Eliza channeled all the power of the imprinting into being our tribe Shaman, so she can be stronger for her people. She gave up her happy ending for us."

"Wow. That's so... wow." Leah's hand tightened on mine, and she glanced over at me.

"Selfless. She's an amazing woman."

"Does she know about this... journey you're going on?"

"Yes."

"Did she think it was necessary?"

"Yes."

"Then stop fretting over it, Damon. You have to go." Leah leaned her head on my shoulder with a sigh. "Did Eliza say if you..." She trailed off, but I knew what she was asking.

"No, she didn't. She's not sure if she'll see me again. But I have to do this... I wish I could explain to you..."

Leah put a hand up against my mouth. "Shh... you don't have to tell me anything. Let's not waste our evening together. Come with me."

Leah led the way, guiding me through the woods by the hand. She ran swift and sure through the dark forest, moving with purpose. After about twenty minutes, we arrived in a clearing where there was a small log cabin. There was a front porch with a rustic wooden bench and a stack of firewood.

Pulling me in through the unlocked door, she headed straight for the fireplace. Moonlight streamed through the windows, affording a murky view of the cabin, which didn't appear to have electricity. There was a tiny table with two chairs under one window, a futon against the wall across from the fireplace, and a wooden coffee table covered with carvings of wolves and other symbols.

Leah was crouched down by the fireplace, which already had a bundle of firewood inside, ready to be lit.

"Let me do that," I said, squeezing her shoulders lightly.

She looked up at me with an amused look on her face. "You want to take care of me, Damon? I'm a big girl. I've been on my own for a long time."

"So? Let me. After tonight..." I drifted off, not wanting to think about tomorrow.

Leah stood up, allowing me to light the fire. She moved to the other side of the room and lit a few lanterns, which cast eerie shadows that bounced off the ceiling and walls.

"What is this place?" I asked curiously.

"The Pack uses it for this and that. Sometimes we hang here, or someone might come to be alone for a while. Tonight, it's all ours."

"Oh?"

"Nobody will come by." Leah smiled coyly, and a picture was starting to form in my mind.

I imagined stripping her out of that hoodie, so I could see what was underneath. Soft sighs and touches. _Stop it, Damon! You just met her; she's not here to fuck your brains out._

"This place is great." A twinge of jealousy shot through me as I contemplated how close the La Push pack seemed to be. I'd never really fit in with my own back in Alaska, but at the bonfire last night, the guys made me feel so welcome—like I could be one of them. I fervently wished I didn't have to leave to go on this journey that I probably wouldn't return from, and guilt flooded through me at the thought of taking Jacob away from all this... away from Lainey.

"You're doing it again," Leah called out softly. And then her hands were rubbing my shoulders firmly as I crouched beside the growing flames in the fireplace. "Leave that; it'll keep going on its own now."

Standing up, I turned to face her. The top of her head only came up to my shoulder, but there was a raw power coiled in her compact body. Her nearness was intoxicating, and I felt myself growing hard.

"Leah, you might want to put a little distance between us," I warned, moving her away until she was at arms' length.

Her eyes sparkled with a glint of danger and amusement. "Why's that?"

I needed to get away from her before being a gentleman went out the window. I moved to the left, aiming for the door, but Leah stepped in front of me, pressing in close. Backing up, I felt the heat of the fire and realized I was trapped between her and the blazing logs.

"Leah, what are you doing? You're..."

"Playing with fire?" she finished for me with a smirk.

"Yeah. I'm trying really hard to be a gentleman here."

"I don't _want _you to be a gentleman, Damon." Leah drew closer, and I had nowhere to go.

Gripping my shirt in her strong yet feminine hands, she pulled me across the room to the futon. She sat turned to the side, with one leg under her, guiding me down next to her. Dark eyes raked over my body, leaving me feeling very wanted—and very hungry to see what was under that damn hoodie.

"I want to see you," I whispered. "You're so hidden from me in that baggy sweatshirt." My fingers flirted with the hem, but I stopped short of tugging it up; that was for her to decide.

Leah reached down unabashedly and grabbed the bottom of the hoodie, pulling it up and over her head, and tossed it to the floor. Underneath it, she wore a navy blue bra with shiny threads woven into the lace that glinted in the flickering firelight. I couldn't take my eyes off it, indicating that I was ogling her tits, which happened to be quite perky and appeared to be the perfect handful.

"You like?" Leah asked with a laugh.

"Aw, shit! I'm sorry, Leah. It's just that your bra has this shiny stuff woven into the lace, and it keeps catching the light..."

"So you're not staring at the twins; you're staring at my bra? Should I be worried? You playing for the other team?"

My eyes shot up to hers, which were brimming with playfulness... and were totally beguiling. I had no idea until that moment what beguiling really meant, but it was definitely the look in Leah's eyes. She was like no one I'd ever come across—funny, confident, playful, sexy, and meant just for me.

"No, I'm not playing for the other team! You have beautiful tits! I mean... um, yeah." _Open mouth, insert foot, Damon._

"So they pass muster then?" Leah squeezed her boobs together, the lovely flesh threatening to spill over the small, lacy cups, and moved her body in a hypnotic way.

_Jesus._

"Most definitely." My hand twitched; I wanted so badly to touch them, touch her.

"I don't know many guys who would just sit there when they have a girl in front of them half-naked..." Leah teased.

"Leah, I'm sorry. This is... crazy to me. Not that I don't want to grab you and... well, I want to..." I sounded like a dolt, stumbling over my words. Other than a few romps in the hay, Lainey had been my only real relationship, and we'd grown up together. This was beyond awkward. And then this ugly voice rose in the back of my mind... _Was it awkward when you _raped_ Bella Swan? When you stole her innocence?_

I clapped my hands over my ears, as if that could stop the voice inside my head from spewing forth what was only the truth. Once again, I was deeply disappointed that Tanya was able to influence me to do something so heinous. Was there something broken inside me? The thought of hurting a woman was abhorrent to me; I'd never done anything remotely like that before. I felt betrayed by my own mind and body; how do you reconcile that?

"Damon? What's going through your mind?" Leah placed her hands on my face, encouraging me to look at her. "Talk to me. You can't leave tomorrow with the doubt that I see in your eyes. If you do, I fear you _won't_ come back to me."

And so, I broke down and told her everything. I poured my heart and soul, my guilt, my fears—all of it—out to my imprint while she held me in her arms and rocked me. I cried a lot, and she did, too. Damn, but it felt freeing to let go with someone—to not have to be strong and sure—to share my pain. Sure, I'd told Jacob a lot of it, but it just wasn't the same, and I couldn't explain exactly why. This woman was made just for me; she understood everything, and never once asked me not to go. So unselfish even though she'd just found her match who might be ripped from her life. She was amazing.

At some point, things changed from my confessing and her comforting me to soft touches and whispered words of hope for the future. The futon was opened, and I pushed her back on the mattress, running my hands over her supple skin. Her jeans disappeared; my shirt was flung across the room. Her panties matched her bra, but they didn't stay on very long; I eased them over her shapely hips, and she tossed them off her ankle with a smile. There was nothing shy about Leah. I loved every moment of it, every moment of her.

Rolling us to the side, she reached for my belt buckle, and I placed a hand over hers. "Leah, are you sure? We don't have to do this. I'm perfectly happy just being here with you."

She looked up at me, her dark eyes filled with desire. "Oh, I'm sure." She leaned in, kissing her way up from my navel slowly until she reached my lips. After a few soft kisses, Leah ran her tongue across my lips suggestively, and I opened my mouth to her. Her kiss was aggressive and sure, her tongue joining with mine as her hands moved back to my belt buckle. This time I didn't stop her.

When we were both fully naked—it took a while because I was fascinated by that bra and how her supple skin looked spilling over its lacy edges—Leah pushed me down on my back with my head facing the bottom of the futon.

"What are you doing?" I asked breathlessly.

She rose up on her knees and straddled me. Her tits were glorious—why had I hesitated taking that bra off?—and my hands were drawn to them like moths to a flame. I kneaded them gently, pinching a nipple between two of my fingers.

"What does it _look_ like I'm doing, Damon?" She threw her head back and laughed, her silky black hair swishing around her face.

"No, I mean why are we facing this way?"

"I want to face the fire, feel its heat on my skin while I make love to you."

If I wasn't hard as a fucking rock already, _that_ would have done it.

Grasping her hips, I pulled her over me gently. I wanted to be sure this was her choice; I would never be rough with a woman again. Leah seemed to be a woman who knew _exactly_ what she wanted, though. She eased herself down on me until I was filling her completely, and her eyes closed as a moan escaped her lips.

_Sweet Jesus._

"My God, Damon, you feel so perfect inside me."

Eyes still closed, she raked her nails over my chest and over my abs before flattening her palms on my stomach. She used her hands for leverage and balance as she started moving up and down my shaft, swiveling her hips.

My hands roamed the parts of her that I could reach; despite the fact that she was a tough woman who phased into a wolf, her skin was smooth as silk. She was incredibly feminine and uninhibited.

"I want to touch all of you," I murmured.

Leah straightened up, exposing her whole body to me as she tossed her head back and lifted her arms to push her fingers into her hair. The blazing fire lit her skin, bathing her in the glow of licking flames. My hands roamed over her body, finally settling back on her hips to guide our movements. As she came down, I thrust up, and we fell into a rhythm that had me close to the edge in no time. Reaching a hand between us, I rubbed my thumb over her clit, determined to bring her to release before I lost it like a schoolboy.

"Oh... oh, yeah, Damon. Mm-mm..." Leah opened her eyes, looking down on me like a goddess—a very sexy goddess. "Oooh! Yes, yes... Damon!" She scratched her nails over my chest as she came, drawing blood.

It only took a few more thrusts before I went over the edge, too. Leah rolled off me, her fingers exploring my chest where several thin, red lines of blood oozed. The little slices would heal by morning, and, I had to say, it was a turn on the way she was so uninhibited, so comfortable with herself as a woman.

"Sorry," she whispered.

"Don't be. Everything about you turns me on." I leaned in to kiss her tenderly. "Thank you, Leah. Whatever happens now, I can face it without worry."

"Why's that?"

"Because I can move forward with the knowledge that there's someone who knows all my secrets and still wants me to come home. I have a reason to fight for my life."

Leah just looked at me, the deep pools of her dark eyes saying that she understood.

After throwing a few more logs on the fire, Leah fetched a quilt out of a cedar chest in the corner, and we snuggled under it together naked. Laying there against her, skin on skin, made me want her again. Moving over her, we made love slowly. Every touch, sigh, and thrust was filled with a deep meaning and the knowledge that it might be our last time together. When we were both sated, we lay there in a comfortable silence, watching the shadows from the fire dance against the ceiling for a while. Leah fell asleep first, her head resting on my chest, dark hair fanned out across my skin. I ran my fingers through her hair until I drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

~*O*~

_HONK!_

_HOOOOOONNNNK!_

"What the fuck?" I mumbled, jumping off the futon.

_HONK!_

The fire was nearly out, glowing red embers all that was left. It was still night; there was moonlight streaming through the window.

_HONK!_

An air horn? I threw open the door to see where the hell the ungodly noise was coming from. Not immediately seeing the source, I ventured out on the porch. Raucous laughter assaulted me from multiple directions.

"What the fuck? Who's there?"

More laughter.

"Holy shit! He's naked!"

"Oh, boy! Damon got lucky!"

"He's _hung!"_

"What are you looking at his dick for, man?"

_Naked?_

"Aw, fuck!" I exclaimed, running back in the cabin and slamming the door.

Loud laughter and cat calls broke out; they weren't trying to hide themselves anymore.

Backing into the cabin, I turned around to find Leah sitting up in bed with a smirk on her face.

"Holy shit! What the hell is going on here?"

Leah snorted, covering her mouth with one hand while holding the sheet up with the other. "You've been initiated."

"Come again?"

"They knew we were staying here tonight, and that we might... you know. It's tradition to play some kind of prank if a couple is spending the night at the cabin."

"Nice. They all saw my junk."

"Nothing to be ashamed of. _Believe me_." Leah grinned. "Okay, you bozos! Show's over! Go the hell home!" she yelled.

Still giggling, she welcomed me back in bed, and we slept in each other's arms until the morning light shone on our faces, waking us up.

~*O*~

Jacob and Lainey arrived at the cabin in the morning holding hands. They seemed very familiar, but they didn't appear to be as comfortable as me and Leah, which left me wondering if they'd slept together yet. That was none of my business, and I knew it, but I couldn't squelch my curiosity.

It didn't escape my notice that Jacob had our packs with him. We'd already said our goodbyes to everyone last night, so it seemed fitting that we would have a few minutes alone with the girls before we took off. We weren't taking much with us on this trip; a few changes of clothes, some money and the pouch of powder Eliza had Vian give me. It was necessary to travel light because we might have to change forms multiple times.

Lainey stood to the side, watching me with Leah. She was very quiet and ended up looking away several times.

"Leah, can I have a minute with Lainey?" I whispered.

"Sure." Leah walked over to Jacob and pulled him inside the cabin with her. "Jake, I need to show you something in the cabin."

Lainey was sitting on a tree stump, picking at her nails. Walking over slowly, I crouched down in front of her, placing my hands on her knees. "Hey."

She barely met my eyes before hers were roving over the trees, the ground, the sky—anywhere but at me.

"What's going on, Laine? Are you okay?"

"You slept with her," she stated softly.

"Yes."

"Jacob and I... haven't..." Lainey faltered.

"That's okay." I grabbed her hand, rubbing my thumb over her knuckles. "I wasn't planning on sleeping with Leah, but she wanted to... and it felt right."

"So you don't think it was wrong of me... not to?" Lainey's expressive eyes met mine, and memories of gazing into them when she was mine assaulted me.

"Laine," I cupped her cheek in my hand, "everybody's different. Was Jacob upset with you?"

"N-no. He said he didn't mind waiting. We held each other all night. But, Damon, what if he never comes home?" Lainey wailed, grabbing at my hand tightly.

"I promise that I'll do everything in my power to make sure Jake comes home to you."

"Thank you, Damon." Lainey kissed my palm the way she used to. "I want _you_ to come home, too. Take care of yourself out there, okay?"

"I will. If there's a way to get back here, I'll find it."

I took her in my arms and hugged her for what might be the last time.

Jacob and Leah joined us outside for our final goodbyes.

Leah kissed me long and hard, pressing her body up against mine. "Come back to me, Damon," she whispered.

"I'll try my best."

Jacob and Lainey were holding each other tight, and she was crying. I felt awful, but there was no changing his mind no matter how many times I'd tried. It hurt to leave the girls behind. The last visual we had as we walked away was of Leah and Lainey wrapped in each others arms with their cheeks pressed together, watching us go.

"Fuck, Jacob. This hurts."

"It does." His voice was strangled, his teeth gritted. "We have to focus now, Damon. If we have any chance of getting back to them in one piece, we have to keep our eye on the ball."

"You're right, man."

Beginning our journey, we undressed, phasing one at a time, so it was easier to attach the small packs by assisting each other. We traveled for as many hours as we could stand, living off the land and sleeping in the underbrush. On occasion, we would come across a stream or lake and bathe naked in our human forms.

We traversed many beautiful areas that I would have loved to explore more deeply if circumstances were different. We were on a mission, though, and I couldn't let myself forget that. Our conversations were sparse; we didn't talk about the girls too much because it hurt, and we avoided talking about the tasks ahead because the likely outcome was dismal. Oh, I thought I could complete my goal, but getting out of it alive was another story. I could only pray the same did not hold true for Jacob.

**~*Tanya*~**

Stalking back and forth in my chambers—no longer pleasant because this was now my jail—I cursed and railed at my state of affairs. How the fuck did I end up in a situation like this?

After Aro had me dragged from the room like a sack of potatoes with no respect whatsoever, he didn't even have the 'nads to come and see me himself! He never touched my hand, yelled at me, asked for an explanation... nothing. Treating me like a nobody, he sent fucking _Jane_ to inform me of my new situation.

_Jane swept into the room with that amused smirk on her face that I longed to wipe off. Fucking midget freak._

"_Aro has come to a decision, and he's asked me to inform you of it." She stood regally, hands clasped in front of her._

"_Fuck you, you little freak! I'm leaving here right..." My words died on my lips when I saw the hulking figure that stepped up behind her._

Demetri.

_The sneer on his face and the glint in his eyes told me I was in trouble._

"_You were saying..." Jane smirked._

_I just stared, waiting for her to go on._

"_Aro was prepared to make you his queen..." Jane sneered at this, her lip curling in derision "...before you deceived him. He's seen enough through Demetri's memories and through your actions when Edward Cullen was here with his wife to know you're a viper. He's washing his hands of you."_

"_Does that mean I'm being asked to leave?" I asked. Hope filled me; I'd just have to take my chances out there._

"_I'm afraid not. Nobody betrays Aro and is set free. You now belong to the Volturi."_

"_What the fuck does that mean?" I shrieked, but inside, fear was flooding my body._

"_Your talents for seduction will be utilized when and how we need them."_

_Maybe I could deal with that. I nodded my head slowly. "Anything else?"_

"_Yes. Aro has gifted you to Demetri."_

_My mouth went dry. "Gifted?" I whispered. "What does that mean exactly?"_

"_The two of you have such great chemistry... I'll leave that to your imagination." Jane smiled spitefully, turning on her heel and leaving the room._

_Leaving me alone... with Demetri._

"_So, you think I'm a 'fucking animal,' huh?" A smile spread across his face. "I don't want to disappoint you, my pet."_

"_Demetri, I was just..."_

"_Quiet! I don't want you to speak unless given permission. Every word that comes out of your treacherous, lying mouth is poison. You're mine now, bitch—to do with as I wish. If you get out of line, I'm free to rip you apart." He stalked over to me, grabbing my hair in his fist and yanking my head back. "Do you get the picture, princess? Freedom is a thing of the past. You're my toy now, and you better hope I don't tire of you."_

_I nodded, afraid to speak. This definitely wasn't what I was used to. I was always the one in control, directing things._

"_You can begin pleasing me now, my pet." Demetri growled, pushing me down to my knees. A moment later, he sighed. "You _do_ know how to initiate a blow job, don't you? Service me!"_

_With fumbling fingers, I unzipped his pants and slid him out. I knew he didn't like to remove his clothing, so I reached my hand in to cup his balls, and I massaged his long, thick cock._

"_In your mouth," he demanded, sounding bored._

_I stretched my lips over the head, taking him in, and he immediately grabbed my head and started thrusting hard into my mouth. Grunts, moans and whispers of 'Oh, yeah,' filled the air as he rutted into me. He didn't have to be careful because he knew I would heal, and this seemed to amuse him, spurring him on._

"_Swallow me," he growled just before he came._

_As soon as I'd swallowed, he instructed me to tuck him back in and zip his pants, and then he left without a word._

Over the past few weeks, that's how it's been. Demetri would show up whenever he wanted to get his rocks off, and I quickly learned to perform whatever sexual act he was in the mood for without speaking. If I objected, he made it far more painful and demeaning for me.

I wasn't allowed to leave my rooms; the only allowance made for me—and Demetri made sure to throw in my face that it was his doing—was for my diet of animal blood. Felix continued to deliver meals to me, saying nothing; there was simply a knock at the door and a thump as he left whatever trussed up animal he'd brought me. No pleasantries.

In fact, mealtime was almost the only time I had any privacy because they all found my choice of food disgusting and would scatter like cockroaches while I fed. It wasn't as if I had anywhere to go, but they watched over me like a dangerous prisoner. The thought of spending eternity this way was abhorrent to me, but I wasn't sure what other choices I had. Apparently, Edward was under Bella's spell—he'd even married her—and he'd made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with me. Looking in his eyes as he held me up against the wall by my throat, I realized that he felt only disgust for me. Edward would not be saving me from this hell; in fact, he was probably thrilled at my predicament. How had I read him so wrong? _That_ was what hurt the most out of everything—Edward's lack of emotion for me. I'd done _all_ of this for him, to have him, because I loved and desired him. It was all for naught, and now my life was worth nothing.

Hatred started to bloom in my heart for Edward and his _bride_. Why should they find their happiness while I was stuck in this tower with frequent visits from the most depraved vampire in the land? The things he did to my body, the positions he twisted me into, and the way he slammed into whatever orifice he chose with no concern for how much pain he caused ignited a slow, burning anger that smoldered inside me. I was biding my time, and when the opportunity presented itself, I was out of here. I knew it would likely be a death mission, but I'd come to terms with that. Edward Cullen would rue the day he fucked me over. When I escaped from this ivory tower, my destination would be Forks, Washington. Edward had taken everything away from me—my dignity, my love, my sisters, a chance at life as a Volturi Queen, my very freedom—and I resolved to take the one thing that meant anything to him: _Bella._ I was going to eradicate Bella Swan. Oh, he could kill me afterward, but it would already be far too late. _Bella Swan Cullen would be dead by my hand._

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**A/N: Thoughts, theories, opinions? Would love to hear them, as always.**

**One of the reasons this story isn't updated often is because it's my least popular story. I do apologize to those of you who love it and prod me frequently about updating. I have many stories I'm working on, and sometimes I look at my review count and—I cannot tell a lie—it influences which story I update next. I try to be as fair as possible, but I am spread thin at the moment. I do promise that I will never abandon any of my stories. I love all my babies and my loyal readers, and I won't leave you hanging.**

_**'I Want It Painted Black'**_** and **_**'Broken Windows'**_** have been nom'd in the Sunflower Awards. Thank you to whoever took the time to nom me! Link is on my profile if you're interested.**

**For readers of **_**'I Saw You Coming,'**_** I'm working on the next chapter now.**

**If you haven't checked out my collab with wmr1601**_** 'Speak Now,'**_** what are you waiting for? Join us for some wedding crashing fun!**

**Thanks for reading and sticking with me. Love you guys!**


	19. Chapter 19 Full Circle

**A/N: I'm so ashamed it's been so long since I updated this story. I thank all of you who have gently prodded me to update—thank you for being kind when I totally deserved to be yelled at.**

**This story is almost at its end. There will be one to two more chapters and an epilogue.**

**Edward licks to Keye and Sandy, my awesome friends and prereaders, for their feedback and encouragement. Huge thanks to my twin, Wendy (wmr1601), for wielding her Sparkly Red on this baby. Mwah!**

* * *

**Chapter Nineteen**

**~Full Circle~**

* * *

**_My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand. ~_**_Thich Nhat Hanh_

_**Previously:**_

_Just a reminder of where we left off so long ago..._

_Bella was starting to have some emotional issues regarding the rape, and Edward (naturally) felt guilty over it. They returned home from Volterra after Edward nearly strangled Tanya._

_Damon and Jacob said goodbye to their imprints, Leah and Lainey, to embark on Damon's journey._

_Tanya was being mistreated by Demetri after Jane convinced her to seduce him. Aro was pretty steamed over Tanya's betrayal once he saw Demetri's memories and banished her to her rooms. She was no longer in the running to become Aro's 'Queen,' so he gave Demetri permission to continue his sexploits._

**~*Tanya*~**

There was no way I could handle remaining at the Castle Volturi indefinitely. Yes, I healed when injured, but the cruelty and disregard that Demetri handled me with was appalling. Maybe I'd done some things that could be considered cruel, but they paled in comparison to what I was being forced to endure. Oh, I'm sure there were a number of people who might disagree with me—my own sisters included—but they hadn't walked a mile in my shoes.

Demetri had just left after using me yet again. He didn't stay that long this time; I think he was disappointed with my growing apathy. At first I thought this was a good thing, but then I heard him mutter, _'I'll have to come up with something new to try on her.'_ That gave me pause. Really, what more could he do to me? He'd already abused every orifice multiple ways. I shuddered to think of what possible schemes his sick mind might dream up.

That little freak, Jane, took every opportunity to be in the hallway outside my room when Demetri was leaving. Today, I'd asked if her pussy had dried up and withered away yet, because surely it hadn't seen any action in decades. That earned me a double shot of juice from the Queen of Pain. _Little fuck._ It was almost worth the burn to see the insecure look in her eyes before her face twisted in anger.

Originally, I'd planned on staying here for a while, allowing Edward to become complacent in his belief that the threat to his beloved was over. Due to the increasing pain that Demetri had inflicted upon me, and his recent utterance that he needed to find a new way to torture me, I decided it would behoove me to get the fuck out of dodge. The only time these Neanderthals left me alone was at feeding time, so that's when I would plan my escape.

There was a muffled _thump!_ as Felix delivered my dinner. He never bothered to knock anymore, just dumped whatever animal they'd scared up in the hall outside my suite. I was too good for this shit.

They scattered like cockroaches when I opened the door; none of them could stand to be around while I sucked and slurped, making a spectacle of each meal. Of course I didn't normally feed that way, but why should I make it easy for them to hold me captive without a moment of privacy? At least when I fed, I was granted an hour or two of undisturbed time.

The sound of fabric sliding over the stone ledge of my window caught my attention, and I turned quickly to see Edward filling the open space. His golden eyes were concerned, forgiving, and I was jubilant inside. _He came back for me!_

"What are you doing here?" I asked, cocking my head to one side.

Edward placed a finger over his ripe pink lips and pointed toward my door.

"There's nobody in this wing right now."

He held a hand out, shaking his head. Then he crooked a finger at me, beckoning me over. The thought crossed my mind that I might have died and gone to heaven. Even if Edward didn't come to make me his, he cared enough to be here in secret, to risk the wrath of the Volturi. _ For me._

Cautiously, I approached him. Edward pointed between the two of us and then indicated that we should leave the tower together. He didn't have to tell me twice. Not only was I getting out of my prison, but I wouldn't have to find my way alone.

Stepping in close to him, I whispered, "Are you sure? You were so angry with me."

His face softened, and he reached out, taking my hand in his, bringing it to rest against his cheek. I melted inside at the thought that we might be doing so much more soon.

I allowed Edward to draw me out the window, and we jumped together, both landing silently on the balls of our feet. With his fingers entwined with mine, he led me away from the castle and into the surrounding woods.

If we weren't within earshot of the Volturi, I would have squealed with joy. I couldn't wait to find out what sent him running to my rescue and what the situation was with Bella. I did notice he wasn't wearing his wedding band, and I rejoiced inside. Edward wasn't the kind of man who would ever willingly remove his ring, so I knew it must mean something serious had happened.

I relaxed then, allowing him to lead me away from my captors.

**~*Damon*~**

Jacob and I traveled for days, but finally, we arrived at our final destination. This was the end of the road—at least for me. My hope for Jacob was he'd return to his family, to Lainey, to live a long and fruitful existence.

I wrote several letters to Leah during quiet nights around the campfire, bestowing the responsibility of them reaching her upon Jacob. He told me to deliver them myself, but we both knew that was unlikely, and he begrudgingly took them from my hands and tucked them into his pack.

The irony of Jake and I working together wasn't lost on me. My cousin, and now my pack brother, who once wanted nothing more than to flay me open and rip out my traitorous heart walked beside me, shoulder to shoulder. Life had almost come full circle. There was one more difficult task I had to succeed with, and then I could let go.

"Damon, are you sure about this? There's got to be another way." Jacob's voice drew me out of my thoughts. "If we go together—"

"No. This is my journey. I didn't even want you to come along, but remember our agreement: the journey ends here for you."

We were sitting in the middle of the woods, the cool night air a heavenly caress against our heated skin. The sound of crickets and other creatures rustling in the vegetation and the pops and crackles of the fire lulled me into a relaxed state. By all rights, I should have been quaking in fear, knowing it was unlikely I'd be leaving here alive, but a sense of calm had overtaken me.

"I don't know why I agreed to that, but I suppose I have to stick by it. You're stubborn as a mule," he muttered.

"A mule. That's one incarnation I've never tried on for size." I grinned.

"Quit making jokes, huh? This isn't a happy occasion, and we're not at a camp out."

"Don't be bitter, Jake. We all have our path through this life, and this is mine. I'm perfectly okay with that."

"I respect you and your decisions, Damon, but I don't have to like them. I can't pretend to be happy."

"And _I_ respect that."

We stared into the fire silently for a while, sharing some beef jerky and bad instant coffee. A wolf howled in the distance, and I smiled to myself.

"When?" Jacob asked softly.

"Tonight."

We'd been camping here for four nights, investigating and learning the lay of the land. We both knew the woods and surrounding area like the backs of our hands, and waiting any longer was just foolishness.

He swallowed hard. "Tonight, huh? Well, this is your show."

"Jacob, it's important that you keep the fire stoked so I can locate you easily, but once you receive what we came for, you need to snuff it out, cover the embers, and get the fuck out of here. Don't worry about me, and don't look back. Get your ass up to the ridge and wait for me there just like we practiced. If I don't show up by sunrise, head home without me."

"No. I can't leave without you—not unless I know for sure."

"Bullshit! If I haven't shown by sunrise, I'm not fucking coming. Our pack is probably losing one of us, but it doesn't need to be both. You deliver my letters to Leah and take care of Lainey for me. She didn't go through all this only to end up without you."

Jacob stared at me, warring emotions flitting through his eyes. Grabbing him by the shirt and pulling him up until we were chest to chest, I growled, "Don't waver, Jacob Black. I'll have your solemn promise now, your vow on all your pack brothers and your life, that you will keep your word."

We stared into each other's eyes fiercely, and I could tell he wanted to deny me but had no leg to stand on.

Dropping his head to his chest, Jacob huffed, "I swear."

"Thank you, brother."

We hugged each other tightly, and in that moment, we truly were brethren.

An hour later, I was making my way down the steep hillside alone. The sounds of the night continued to soothe me. The moonless sky and the fog clinging to the ground offered me cover. I breathed deeply, taking in the scents of the forest infusing the cool crisp air—the pungent soil, various species of wildlife, moss, loam, and seasons-old leaves moldering in obscure areas—perhaps for the last time.

An even deeper sense of calm blanketed me when I realized the circle would be completed tonight. While we were traveling these past days, I had much time to think about how I wanted to end this. The idea struck me with perfect clarity in my dreams last night.

Irony could sometimes be a beautiful weapon as the Scales of Justice tipped your way. How it began for me, was how it would end as well. _Lay your hand upon me Lady Justice, for I have kicked you in the shins, and now I must be held accountable._

When I reached the edge of the woods, I glanced back. In the distance, I could see smoke curling into the air where Jacob tended the fire—a beacon to guide me.

Unbidden, Eliza entered my mind. It was as if she was right there with me, beside me. Her silvery-blue wolf eyes gazed at me frankly, and I could almost hear her speaking to me. Reminding me of the powder Vian placed in my hands that last day in Alaska.

_Now is the time._

Mixing it in my tin cup with some water from a nearby stream, I drank it down quickly. The murky liquid left a bitter tingling on my tongue. And then there was nothing standing between me and the end of my journey.

Steeling myself, I phased—maybe for the last time. I was unprepared for the onslaught of memories that washed through me; the images were enough to bring me to the ground where I writhed in agony. Flashes of Bella begging and pleading for her life as I violated her. As I shoved my hand over her mouth and threatened her. Whether I was in control of my actions back then or not, the fact still remained that an innocent was harmed by _my _hands. It didn't matter if Edward and Bella forgave me, if the La Push pack forgave me, if Lainey and Leah forgave me... I couldn't forgive myself. This would be with me until I took my dying breath, and maybe even beyond that.

Pushing back those thoughts, I continued until I reached my goal.

An arch of warm light beckoned to me, belying the seriousness of my quest, and I stood silently for five minutes until I was sure it was safe.

It felt strange to be in _this _form as I scaled the stone wall, and I wondered if I survived this night, if I'd ever feel clean again. Even though I was far from Catholic, I crossed myself as I hovered outside the portal of evil.

Her beauty was just as staggering as it ever was. For a moment, as I took her in, I found it hard to believe she was capable of the atrocities she was accused of, but it slammed home once again all that had befallen me at her hands. The way she used me and tossed me away. The way she set me up to take the fall for her evil deeds. A flame of anger ignited inside me, but I reined it in quickly—it was necessary to walk a knife edge of awareness and restraint while convincing her of the lie.

When she turned and her amber eyes discovered my form hugging the window ledge of her tower—_Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your golden hair—_the moment of truth had arrived. I knew if I spoke, it was all over. I could look like Edward, I could smell like Edward, but I did not have his voice. In order to lure Tanya from her perch, I needed her to believe.

Fortunately, it wasn't as difficult as I'd expected. Tanya was delusional; she wanted so badly to believe Edward had returned to her that it was like taking candy from a baby. With a few hand signals and soft looks, I drew her out the window, and we leaped to the cobbles below. Swiftly we entered the woods, hand in hand. I saw her glance at my left hand, a look of evil glee flitting across her features when she found no wedding band. Once again, I was disgusted and fought to hide it. If I gave myself away too soon, she would sound the alarm, and I was dead for sure. To die before completing my journey would be a waste of my life, of my great suffering at her hands.

"Edward, where are we going?" she whispered.

Ignoring her, I drew her ever deeper into the woods, keeping the smoke from Jacob's fire in my sights. Time was of the essence because it wouldn't be long before the Volturi realized Tanya was gone, and then the search would begin. Jacob had to be well on his way before that happened.

When we entered a clearing, I stopped and turned to face her, still holding her hand.

"Edward?"

Caressing her cheek with my palm, I shook my head slowly. "Afraid not."

Tanya's eyes widened in surprise—so she hadn't even guessed it might have been me?—and her hand rested over where her blackened heart had shriveled and died centuries ago.

"_Damon?_"

"The one and only." I smirked at her with _his _smirk, and I could tell she was having a hard time reconciling my voice with his face.

"But... why? Why Edward? You could have come in any form."

She still didn't get it, but that worked to my advantage.

"I thought it would be easier to get you to come quietly if you saw Edward. If you made too much noise, the Volturi would have been on us before we could escape."

Tanya leveled an appraising gaze at me. This was the critical moment; she needed to believe I was still under her spell. Eliza gave me the tools, but I had to employ them if this was going to work.

She moved in closer, her liquid gold eyes boring into me. I looked back innocently, allowing her gaze to probe deeply, and I could feel the tendrils of her powers of seduction attempt to take hold of me. I panicked momentarily, afraid Tanya would gain control over me once again. My last visit with Eliza flitted through my mind, and I realized when she said I was 'protected,' she meant against Tanya. I was no longer susceptible to Tanya's 'gift,' and the knowledge was empowering, adrenaline inducing.

"Damon... you belong to me," she whispered, ghosting her nose along my jaw until her lips rested against my ear. "You're so good, always taking care of your Mistress. Whatever need I have, you fulfill. Tell me. Tell me you belong to me, my sweet."

"Yes, Mistress. I belong to you, and your desires are mine. I live to serve you."

"What a good boy. How far would you go for me?"

I could feel another strong probe underneath my skull, but her power couldn't penetrate Eliza's magic. Inside I smiled, but on the outside, I continued to play along.

"All the way, Mistress."

"Good..." she purred, cupping her hand over my crotch.

It wouldn't due for her to realize I was faking now. Thoughts of my night with Leah rendered me hard as a rock, and Tanya cooed at me approvingly.

"That's my big boy. Oh, yeah," she moaned, continuing to stroke me through my jeans, and I closed my eyes, pretending it was Leah's hand.

"What can I do to please you, Mistress? What is your greatest desire?"

Tanya laughed softly. "Are you sure you're willing?"

"Whatever you desire is yours."

Her hand abruptly ceased its stroking, and she pulled back to look into my eyes.

"Anything, Damon?"

"Name it."

"I want you to kill Bella Cullen."

With those words, she doomed herself. Until that moment, I wasn't sure if Tanya was unredeemable, but by declaring a death sentence against Bella, she proved it, sealing her own fate.

"Kill Bella. Is that all?"

"Make sure Edward knows it was compliments of Tanya Denali." Her eyes glittered spitefully.

"And then?"

"Then you come back to me, and we can be together the way I always promised you."

"What about Edward?"

"Fuck Edward. He deserves to be miserable after the way he treated me," she spat petulantly, her eyes sparking with a deep hatred.

I had my answer: Tanya Denali was a scourge that must be wiped from the earth. As long as she existed, as long as she was able to plot and scheme, as long as she had wills to twist, she was a danger. Especially for Bella, to whom I owed a huge debt of gratitude and penance.

One last time, I took her face between my hands and gazed into her treacherous eyes. And Tanya allowed it because she trusted in me, trusted that she owned me through the power of seduction. Thank fuck for Eliza.

I leaned in close, pressing my cheek to hers for a moment as I slid my hands into a more secure position.

"There's only one problem with that plan."

"What's that?"

"I'm not under your spell, and I have no intention of killing Bella _or_ punishing Edward."

"Damon," she cooed. "You know you want to help me, so we can be together always."

"Actually, no. Edward and Bella are happily married. I've met my imprint. And you... well, you're finished. Your influence over me is as defunct as your morals."

Tanya's body went rigid with anger, her voice full of indignation. "You stupid fucking animal! The Volturi will kill you for this, and I'll find someone else who_ is_ willing to help me."

She still didn't understand the situation she was in. That was okay; it made dispatching with her infinitely easier.

"Tanya Denali, for your crimes against me and my family, for your transgressions against Edward and Bella Cullen and God knows who else, I sentence you to death."

"What?" she screeched. "You'll never make it out of Volterra alive!"

"That may be so, and I'm perfectly okay with that as long as _you _don't make it out alive, either. Goodbye, Tanya."

With a mighty wrenching motion, I twisted her head clean off her body. There was an ear piercing metallic shriek, and then her body fell to the ground, twitching. I held her head in my hands, her eyes gazing up at me in surprise, and it was downright eerie. I'd never purposely killed before, but before I contemplated my actions, I needed to finish this.

Running to the next knoll with Tanya's head firmly in my hands, I looked up the hill, catching sight of Jacob's fire. Running back a few feet, I launched Tanya's head, smiling with satisfaction when it seemed to go down in just the right spot. I'd know soon if my aim was true.

Putting more distance between me and Tanya's still-twitching, headless body, I moved stealthily through the woods, watching the skyline. After a few minutes, the filmy gray smoke transitioned to turbid purple, and I knew Jacob had received Tanya's head.

I was leaving Tanya's body for the Volturi to find, so there would be no question she was dead. There would be no search and rescue mission. They could look for her head—and I hoped their search would allow time for Jacob and me to get away—but seeing as Jacob had just burned it, there was no chance of that. Tanya Denali was no more.

The sound of several Volturi guard combing through the forest to investigate the sound of a vampire being dismembered reached my ears. _Too close._ I was too close to take off running. If they found me out there, I was dead, and it was a risk I'd taken on, knowing it was the likely outcome. That didn't mean I was about to lay down and make it easy for the fuckers.

Locating a tall tree with lush foliage, I used the vampiric abilities this body afforded me and leaped high into its branches. Settling deep inside the tree, I allowed it to envelope me in its protection from prying eyes. I suspected the brew Eliza had me drink would mask my scent from the Volturi—at least that's what I was counting on.

"Holy shit! Look, Demetri!" a voice called out nearby.

"Well, fuck me. My little marionette's had her strings cut." He snorted. "It was bound to happen, but I sure wish I had more time with her first. Who did this?"

"I don't know. The only vague scent on her is Edward Cullen's. Probably left over from when he grappled with her in the throne room. She's the type that would save something with his scent on it to moon over."

"Boys, what's going on?" a childlike female voice broke in. "Well, well. What do we have here? It appears that Tanya lost her head!" A soft tinkle of laughter erupted from her.

"Did you have something to do with this, Jane?" The one named Demetri growled low in his throat. "Nobody hated her as much as you."

"As if. I was having too much fun torturing the bitch." Jane sniffed derisively.

"All right, let's get a search party together and see if we can find her head. Maybe Humpty Dumpty can be put back together again."

"I'm going to start combing the woods. Maybe I can pick up on a scent to track," Demetri offered.

There was shared laughter as the two retreated, but I could already hear others gathering close by as Demetri headed my way.

It looked like this tree was destined to be my new home for the time being.

**~*Edward*~**

Ever since Bella had opened up to me and let me know just how much the rape was still affecting her, we'd grown even closer. It hurt me to know Bella was holding emotions inside because she didn't want me to feel guilty or worry over her. Sometimes Bella was selfless to a fault, and I was happy to see her slowly letting go.

Over the past weeks since we'd returned from Volterra, Bella had started taking daily walks with Rosalie. Those two are the last ones any of us expected would find solace in each other, but Rose had a soft spot for Bella since they now shared similar battle scars. The sessions seemed to be softening Rosalie's hardened edges, too. I wasn't all that surprised—Bella was a remarkable woman.

I was lounging on our bed, sitting against the headboard while I waited for Bella to get out of the shower. She'd taken to bathing in the evenings, claiming it relaxed her and helped her sleep. It did seem to reduce the incidence of nightmares for whatever reason.

"What are you thinking about, Mr. Cullen?" my beautiful wife asked as she knelt on the bed beside me, running her fingers through my hair.

"You." I smiled lazily, guiding her by the hips as she straddled me.

I ran my index finger over the lacy edge of the satiny blue peignoir she wore, trailing over Bella's nipples one at a time through the slippery material. She moaned softy, grinding herself on my lap, and I was immediately hard.

"Bella..." I warned with a low growl.

"It's okay. I want you, Edward. I love you so much," she whispered, leaning in to kiss me.

Holding her away gently, I studied her. "Are you sure, love? We don't have to do this right now."

Her soft brown eyes held nothing but desire as she gazed back at me. "Oh, I'm sure." Shifting herself, she settled right over my hardness as her lips met mine. She pressed me back against the headboard, hands running over my shoulders, and licked a line of fire across my bottom lip. Allowing her to take the lead, I accepted her invitation, my tongue sweeping out to meet hers.

She moaned again, her hands reaching between us to push my sleep pants down, releasing me from their confines. Warm hands stroked me a few times before Bella lifted up to guide me deep inside her.

Grabbing hold of the headboard, she closed her eyes, allowing her head to fall back as she rode me slowly, rotating her hips. Her still-damp hair swung freely, cascading in waves over her shoulders and down her back. A light sheen of sweat covered her fragrant skin, dewy from the shower.

My hands wrapped around her waist, coming to rest on her back to offer support. The feel of her heat gliding up and down my length drew me quickly toward the edge. Bella's hot breath expelled from her mouth in short bursts, and her expression gradually morphed into one of pure ecstasy. I swirled my tongue in the hollow of her throat, nibbling on her sweet flesh, making my way up slowly until I sucked her delicate earlobe between my lips.

"Mm-mm... Edward," she gasped. "So close."

Keeping one hand on her back, the other drifted beneath the silky material, caressing her bare hip, sliding up slowly until I could sweep my thumb lightly over a straining nipple.

"You're exquisite," I whispered against her neck. "My precious love."

"Oh, God... I'm going to..." Bella gasped, throwing her head all the way back as she came for me so beautifully.

The ebb and flow of her orgasm was all it took to set off my own. It wasn't hard and fast, but slow and passionate lovemaking, and nothing could have been more perfect in that moment.

Hours later, I cradled Bella as she slept, her legs entwined with mine. Her sleep was calm and quiet, and I rejoiced in her peace.

_Edward, you need to come down here._ Carlisle's mind was disturbed, an underlying tension lacing his thought.

Carefully untangling our limbs, I covered Bella with the blanket, placing a kiss on her forehead. She sighed softly in her sleep, a half-smile touching her lips.

Coming down the stairs, I found my family surrounding the dining room table—not such a good sign in this house.

"What is it?"

"I just received a call from Aro, Son." Carlisle's expression was grave.

"_And?_" I prompted impatiently.

"He asked after your whereabouts. I assured him you were here and have been since we returned from Italy. He'd like to speak with you directly. It seems he was unwilling to take my word for it."

"What's going on? Alice?" I turned my gaze Alice's way, and I wasn't comforted by the confused look on her face.

"I can't see, Edward. My visions keep fading out when I try to see Italy. I don't know what Aro wants with you."

"I'm sure that _bitch_ has done something else to fuck with you," Rosalie spat, her eyes darkening with hatred.

"Edward, I think you should call him back right away. It didn't sound like a request, and if he needs reassurance that you are in fact here, then give it to him," Carlisle suggested, handing me the phone.

I swallowed hard, unable to imagine what Tanya might have done now that would cause Aro to call here and demand to know my whereabouts. When Aro himself answered the call, I was even more concerned.

"Hello?" His voice held a touch of strain laced with impatience.

"Good evening, Aro. Carlisle tells me you need to speak with me?"

"Ah, young Edward, so you _are_ at home." Aro's voice was condescending, and I almost made a snide remark about not believing his old _friend_ Carlisle but thought the better of it.

"Yes. I've been here since we returned from Volterra."

"It appears so. Even one of us couldn't travel _that_ quickly."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"It appears you have been sighted here in Italy today."

"Not possible."

"Hm-mm, yes. That presents quite the conundrum then, doesn't it? Do you know of any way someone could look just like you and commit a crime beneath our very noses?"

I looked up at Carlisle, startled, but he shrugged his shoulders.

"A crime? What sort of crime?"

"You truly have no idea?"

"No. Should I?"

"I have some unfortunate news. It appears that our beloved Tanya was beheaded today. We found her body, but her head... well, it hasn't been located thus far." Aro sounded more amused than sorry, a touch of maniacal glee present in his voice.

"_What?_ And you think I did this?"

"As I said, there are claims you were seen in the area by members of my guard. I've seen their memories, and they appear to be correct. Besides that, Tanya had only one faint scent on her body when we found it other than Demetri's—yours. Although, to be fair, it wasn't fresh, so we suspect she may have kept something of yours as a… trinket."

"Surely there must have been another scent if she was beheaded, Aro," I said tightly. Would he accuse me of teleporting next? Was it his intention to somehow pin Tanya's demise on me?

"No, there wasn't. That fact alone has me incredibly curious. No matter. I _will_ unravel this mystery. Thank you for your time, and give my best to your bride."

Aro abruptly disconnected the call before I could say anything else. My entire family was silent and wide-eyed, but everyone's minds were whirring at high speed trying to figure it out.

Suddenly, Alice slapped her hand over her mouth. "I know the answer!"

Six sets of eyes were trained on her in less than a second.

"Well?" I huffed impatiently.

"It had to be a shifter. I know of one shifter that once looked and smelled like you, Edward," she said quietly.

"Damon." I pinched the bridge of my nose. "It's only a matter of time before Aro pieces this together. He already said he intended to investigate the Alaska tribe, but now..."

"And I can't see around them to know what will happen. I might be able to see _when_ Aro makes a decision, but if the Volturi go to Alaska, we'll have no eyes."

"I have to call Eliza. They need to know there's a possibility the Volturi will be coming."

Getting in touch with Eliza and Aaron was easier said than done. Most of their homes didn't have phone service, and someone had to be dispatched to Eliza's mountain hut to fetch her. In the meantime, the realization that Tanya was dead sank in.

_Tanya is dead. She can't hurt Bella anymore._

While I found it difficult to rejoice in the death of another—even one as evil as Tanya—I couldn't deny the relief I felt. I couldn't help but wonder what this news would do to Bella, though. This meant the loss of the only other person she could blame for her rape, which could be freeing or send her into a deeper sense of helplessness.

When the phone rang, I snatched it up.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Edward." Eliza's voice was calm and sure. There was something about her that left one feeling all was as it should be. How she conveyed this in two words over the phone, I had no idea, but I felt some of my tension melt away.

"Eliza. We have a situation."

"Hm-mm, yes. The red-eyed ones are coming." Her tone never wavered, and she didn't appear fazed that vampire royalty would be paying her tribe a visit.

"You know?"

"I've always known, Edward. This... confrontation... is inevitable. Everyone must understand their place in the world, and your Volturi are no exception." There was a hard edge to her words.

"Eliza, I don't think you understand. It's very likely they will decide to destroy your people. They don't like competition."

There was a soft laugh on the other end of the line. "Yes, they will indeed attempt to rein us in, but that doesn't mean they will be successful."

"With all due respect, the Volturi have many gifted vampires. When they want to wipe out other vampires or shape-shifters, they do. They consider themselves the final authority." I ran my hand through my hair roughly with frustration. Eliza seemed to be taking this too lightly, and the lives of her people were at stake.

"Edward, don't get your knickers in a twist. Your Volturi do have gifted vampires, but they rely too much on those powers, inflated by a false sense of self-confidence. I was born for this purpose. I gave up my imprint for this. Thank you for your concern, though."

"Tanya's dead."

"Ah, so Damon was successful then."

"_You knew?_" I asked incredulously.

"I suspected when I sent Damon off on his journey that Tanya was a part of it, yes."

"You sent him to Volterra? Knowing they would hunt him down? That this could lead them to your tribe?" My voice grew loud. This woman confounded me.

"I didn't _send_ Damon to Volterra. If he went there, it was of his own free will. Damon came to me before beginning his journey, and I simply provided him with protection from the succubus."

"Tanya?"

"That's the one. I made sure she wouldn't be able to gain control over his mind and will again. I also provided him with a way to cloak himself, _but _I never told him what the potion I gave him would do. It's my belief if he was meant to use it, he'd instinctively know when the time was nigh."

"You trust an awful lot in your abilities, don't you?" I mused.

"Do you trust in your ability to read minds? In Alice's visions of the future? In Jasper's empathic gift?"

"Yes."

"And I trust in my gifts, in my destiny. Please don't fret, Edward. All will be as it was meant to be."

"And how was it meant to be, Eliza?"

She laughed softly. "Even I don't know that. I follow my calling without question and trust the universe to effect the destined outcome."

"And what if you're destroyed?"

"If that is what's meant to happen, then it will be."

"Eliza... there must be something we can do."

"No. The wheels are set in motion, and now we wait."

"Please let me know if you need anything. Should my family come there? Can we help?"

"Stay where you are. It might help if someone could give me a rundown of all the key players and their gifts."

"Absolutely. I'll put Carlisle on."

Handing the phone off to Carlisle, I realized Bella's heart rate had entered into its typical about-to-wake cadence. Returning to our room, I slid back into our bed and held her to me. The warmth of her body was akin to a talisman, calming me and pulling my thoughts away from the difficult times that were surely ahead.

**~*O*~**

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**A/N: A few surprises in this one. I hope you're all satisfied with the way Tanya was dispensed with. I thought it was only fitting that Damon be the one. Thoughts? The Volturi _will_ be paying a visit to the Alaska tribe next chapter.**

**I want to take the time to thank all of my wonderful readers who have stuck by me and encouraged me so much. You are worth your weight in gold. I'm working on a novel to be published in 2012, but I want to assure all of you that I will continue to write my fanfics and complete all my stories.  
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**I have a novella called _Red Kryptonite_ coming out in January which was written for a fundraiser. Edward is a blood-drinking vampire bounty hunter, and guess who he's hired to bring in? The first chapter is up on my profile, and the rest will begin posting weekly in January until complete. This is a little different than my usual, and I hope to toss you a few surprises.**

**Follow me on Twitter: (at) SaritaDreaming for fanfic or (at) SarahAisling for original fic.**


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